Cover Image: My Dearest Darkest

My Dearest Darkest

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**Disclaimer: I received a free eARC of My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this opportunity.

My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham is a young adult horror novel about two teenage girls who get caught up with a mysterious figure who offers to grant them their deepest wishes in exchange for a favour.  It is well written and quite twisty.  It was published on March 29th, 2022.  I rated it four stars on Goodreads.

Here’s the summary from Goodreads:

WILDER GIRLS meets THE CRAFT in this Sapphic horror debut that asks: What price would you be willing to pay to achieve your deepest desires?

Finch Chamberlin is the newest transfer student to the ultra-competitive Ulalume Academy... but she's also not what she seems. Months before school started, Finch and her parents got into an accident that should have left her dead at the bottom of a river. But something monstrous, and ancient, and terrifying, wouldn't let her drown. Finch doesn't know why she woke up after her heart stopped, but since dying she's felt a constant pull from the school and the surrounding town of Rainwater, like something on the island is calling to her.

Selena St. Clair sees right through Finch, and she knows something is seriously wrong with her. But despite Selena's suspicion, she feels drawn to Finch and has a sinking feeling that from now on the two will be inexplicably linked to one another.

One night Finch, Selena, and her friends accidentally summon a carnivorous creature of immense power in the depths of the school. It promises to grant every desire the girls have kept locked away in their insecure hearts―beauty, power, adoration―in exchange for a price: human body parts. But as the cost of their wanting becomes more deadly, Finch and Selena must learn to work together to stop the horror they unleashed, before it consumes the entire island.

I found myself drawn to My Dearest Darkest because of the cover initially.   It caught my eye when I was scrolling NetGalley.  It took me a while to read it, but I've been pretty much a mood reader lately simply because my attention span feels like it keeps flitting back and forth between things.   This book did manage to capture my attention.

I liked the way it introduced us to the characters and set us in a place where our two protagonists weren't going to be on the best of terms.  I like to read about dynamics between characters and seeing how those dynamics change as the story progresses.  The dyanmic between Finch and Selena was perfect for this.  They went from enemies to friends to lovers and it was fantastic.   I also enjoyed the other complicated dynamics between the other characters in the story.  It depicted different types of friendships, both good and bad, and I found that really intriguing.

I also really enjoyed the storyline.  It was very eerie and mysterious.  The mysterious entity that can grant favours isn't. something I've read a whole lot of, but I really enjoyed the way that story played out.  It kept me really interested in the story and what was going to happen next.  I also like the combination of supernatural events mixed into what felt very much like our world.

The writing was really good and descriptive.  I was able to picture the events in my head, and the story really seemed to come to life.

If you were at all intrigued by the summary of the book, I think you should definitely check out this story.

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I finished reading this a few days ago and it’s taken me a bit to collect my thoughts. I don’t have many. But I will say this was very enjoyable.

This was extremely fast paced—read this in a matter of two days—the writing was easy for me to sink my teeth into. As for the horror, this wasn’t very scary to me; but I felt like if this was an adult novel it’d be way scarier and more gorey.

The romance itself was quite cute. I loved Selena right away, but it took a while to warm up to Finch. By the end, Finch wasn’t my favourite, she kinda irritated me.

All in all, I’d love to read anything else this author writes.

Thank you to Rancoast, NetGalley and the publisher for providing an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

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This debut novel was everything I wanted it to be. A young girl involved in a car crash nearly drowns but somehow makes it out alive. Her parents do not survive the crash, and Finch is different. Her hair starts growing in white, she’s very pale, and her heart beats more slowly than it used to.

During her first few days at her new school, she seems to have summoned a ghost, a kind soul who can’t remember anything and just wants to help in exxhange for things that may get her out of the tunnels she’s trapped in.

Queer girls. Boarding school. Cultish elements. Ghosts. There’s so much to love about this book. The romance subplot was a slow burn and didn’t overtake the story. It definitely didin’t ruin the mysterious, horrific elements, and I enjoyed the relationships between the characters (platonic and nonplatonic) just as much as some of the creepier elements. I felt that the characters were rich and had layers, not just bland teen girls.

It’s out now wherever you get your books, and I definitely recommend it if YA Horror is your jam.

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It's a story of a group of girls who find a mysterious being on their school campus. The being can grant wishes... for a price. And the price keeps getting higher and higher.

All in all, it was lovely, well-written and fun. Quite dark, I should say, but could have been even darker. If it had been me writing this book, I would have leaned more into the horror aspect of it than the romance aspect, but well.

The blurb said it's similar to Wilder Girls, but it also reminded me of that Netflix series, Midnight Mass, as it talked about introducing an outsider into a community hoping they would (supernaturally) fix all of the community's problems. Well.

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Let me try and sell you on reading this in just a few phrases: eldritch-esque creature, semi enemies to besties to lovers (they weren't roommates but, you know, they were roommates), bloody body horror, spooky private academy. You can't not want to read this, right? I loved the spooky vibes, Finch was such a great character (watching her grow into her own and accept herself was just chefs kiss), and did I mention the heckin spooky vibes?! This was definitely the perfect spooky read!

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I am a sucker for YA horror and i really enjoyed this one. It has a great amount of spookie, It has a great use of characters and they have great banter and chemistry.

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Ahhh this book was so much fun! I loved every second of it.
This is a perfect YA spooky/mystery/thriller read. Not only does it involve this super interesting myth/legend in an academic setting but it has a sapphic romance too.
What’s not to love?
I loved the creepy paranormal vibes of this book and it got my hooked from the first page. The characters were so likeable and relatable at times too.
I never want to give too much away, but if you’re wanting to read a really fun YA thriller with f/f romantic tension and creepy legends then definitely give this book a go!

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A gothic-ish boarding school tale replete with dead parents, mean girls, lesbian explorations, and carnivorous monsters. This book felt like it was trying to be everything, but didn't quite succeed. Perhaps I'm just oversaturated on dark, monster-filled YA novels? However, the pacing was good, the characters were pleasantly diverse, and I am keen to see what else Kayla Cottingham has up her sleeve for the future.

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Finch Chamberlin is the newest transfer student to the ultra-competitive Ulalume Academy... but she's also not what she seems. Months before school started, Finch and her parents got into an accident that should have left her dead at the bottom of the river. But something monstrous, and ancient, and terrifying, wouldn't let her drown. Finch doesn't know why she woke up after her heart stopped, but since dying she's felt a constant pull from the school and the surrounding town of Rainwater, like something on the island is calling to her.

Selena St. Clair sees right through Finch, and she knows something is seriously wrong with her. But despite Selena's suspicion, she feels drawn to Finch and has a sinking feeling that from now on the two will be inexplicably linked to one another.

One night Finch, Selena, and her friends accidentally summon a carnivorous creature of immense power in the depths of the school. It promises to grant every desire the girls have kept locked away in their insecure hearts—beauty, power, adoration—in exchange for a price: human body parts. But as the cost of their wanting becomes more deadly, Finch and Selena must learn to work together to stop the horror they unleashed, before it consumes the entire island.

I’m normally not one for sapphic horror, especially teen sapphic horror but this was a tense and enthralling read.

Right from the start I was entranced by Finch and the enigmatic mean girl, Selena and irregardless of the crazy demon lady trying to escape from the tunnels (by munching on the offerings of naive and gullible teens) I was invested in their relationship and wanted to read on to see where it went.

This novel gave me Pretty Little Liars meets Cruel Intentions vibes married with just the right amount of horror and spookiness to keep me interested.

Young audiences will def enjoy this one and I think Cottingham has created a cast of characters that she could definitely utilise again in future stories.

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This book was unfortunately not for me. I felt it had some weird pacing and logic issues. It's exciting that sapphic books are becoming more prominent and available these days, so I will still be selling this book and putting on displays, but the plot was uninteresting to me.

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I really enjoyed this! It was really creepy at times and I thought it was a great debut horror novel!

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“My Deepest Darkest,” the spine-tingling new novel from Kayla Cottingham, explores the terrifying lengths five private school girls are willing to go in their pursuit of popularity and success.

And as a word of warning, this horror debut is not for the faint of heart.

Through the book, I couldn’t help but make several comparisons to the 90s witchy masterpiece The Craft, both in terms of its eerie but campy tone as well as some major shared plot points.

And if that isn’t a glowing endorsement I don’t know what is.

It’s as if Sarah Bailey had to contend not only with the wicked and wayward ways of Nancy Downs, but also with terrifying supernatural creatures and a relentless horned queen of the underworld.

In fact, this novel yet nostalgic ride just might have the power to become a verified cult classic.

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3.5 stars: Really entertaining. The individual elements—sapphic romance, queer identity, creepy boarding school, extra creepy monster, mystery solving, etc.—were all great but lacked a little cohesiveness for me. Like each one could have used a little more fleshing out I think, except for Finch and Selena. They were perfect and their love should be protected at ALL COSTS.

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This was such an interesting read for me! Totally not something I would typically go for, but I am so glad that I did. I enjoyed the vivid details of the characters and the setting the most. It helped create strong visualization.

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"You understand how wild that sounds, right? A strange glowing woman in the tunnels wants to grant our wishes?"

Summary
Ever since Finch survived an accident that should have killed her, she has felt drawn to the island of Rainwater, where her new school Ulalume Academy resides. Serena St. Clair can tell that something is off with Finch, yet feels drawn to her nonetheless. One night Finch, Serena, and their friends accidentally summon a mysterious creature of immense power. It promises to grant their wishes, in exchange for seemingly small parts of themselves, until it starts asking for more and more.

Review
This was such a good horror book that had me on the edge of my seat! I loved the slow burn romance between Finch and Serena. I also loved how Serena was the popular girl at the school, but was able to let down her defenses and show her real self to Finch.

The horror element to this book was chilling. Nerosi slowly pulled the girls in to her web of lies and used their own insecurities and selfishness against them. She was able to convince them that what they were doing was justified. There was also an intertwining mystery from the past that propelled the plot forward. I liked the balance of the creepiness and horror elements with a bit of mystery.

Overall, this was a really solid debut and great sapphic horror novel!

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Our story begins with talented musician Finch Chamberlain heading to the prestigious Ulalume Academy for an audition. The audition goes well, though Finch finds herself making trouble for student Selena St Clair. She is desperate for acceptance and expresses the view she’d do anything to get in. Next thing we know, a stag with eight eyes appears on the road in front of them, her father crashes the car and Finch and her parents are plunged into the river.
With our main character dying in the opening chapter, and then starting at the Academy, it was clear from early on that this was not going to be an ordinary read.
Finch hears a strange voice, her hair has turned white and she quickly finds herself wandering the tunnels below the academy where she seems to conjure a spirit known as Nerosi.
Suspend your disbelief. The girls at this school are ultra competitive, so for them to make their own deal with the devil in exchange for their heart’s desire makes sense. Initially the demands are fairly straightforward. The girls get flawless skin and increased popularity. Of course, it doesn’t take long for the demands to become a little harder to fulfil.
Much of the book focuses on the strange entity known as Nerosi, and the links between her appearance and strange events that took place in the town decades earlier. Finch and her new friends start to grow wary of exactly what is being asked of them and we soon see something evil has been unleashed.
Thanks to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this in advance of publication. Some of the background characters felt undeveloped, and Finch’s questioning of her sexuality felt like a means to shift the plot forward. However, it was an intriguing idea.

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I love a book that isn’t afraid to say the word lesbian (and make a U-Haul joke), but I’d give this book every star just for the Mass Effect reference alone <3333 Excited to see more from this debut author!!

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A very spooky and gay book! I feel like it was missing something-- maybe just not spooky enough?-- but for a YA horror novel, hits all the right notes. I enjoyed the messy relationship between Selena and Kyra, and I loved watching Finch explore her sexuality and have her romance arc.

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Before Finch Chamberlin died, she made a wish. Now she's somehow alive and a student at the prestigious Ulalume Academy. The secret to her survival? It's connected to the urban legends about an eight-eyed deer and a long-gone band. Something is wrong, something is repeating...

Cottingham starts her debut strong by setting the scene and mood. A rain-drenched boarding school, a car falling into the water, a desperate plea. While it takes time to build up the suspense with two storylines, Finch's investigating her new abilities and former mean girl Selena watching her friends make a deal with a demon, there are plenty of clues in the background to satisfy readers. Side characters do a great job, especially Simon, of asking critical questions about the horror genre and help advance the plot. The vague sense of ease is balanced well with the budding queer romance between Finch and Selena, but Cottingham's real strength is establishing the history. The details of the monster's victims and the resulting investigation by Finch, Serena, and Simon have to be my favorite parts. This is where the author's knowledge of horror comes into play the most, drawing on familiar tropes from classic cult films like The Craft.

Whereas the horror was present and fun, the storyline dragged with the antagonists' shallow personalities. I would have loved to see more of their struggle, the narrative asking them why they wanted more power. With so much of the local history seeped in monsters and demon deals, I was also expecting some of the school's perfect glamor to fade. There had to be more people in the past making deals with Nerossi...

Nonetheless, My Darkest Dearest is a bloody fun debut full of messy teenage girls and dead things. It is perfect for fans of The Craft and early seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer due to the school setting and excellent use of horror tropes.

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My Dearest Darkest is a beautifully written YA coming of age horror that was so much fun to read. The setting is the beautiful Ulalume Academy in Rainwater, Maine, which is a prestigious all girls boarding school full of 300 very talented young prodigies. The story opens with Finch Chamberlin auditioning for a scholarship to attend her dream school. Although she played beautifully, she unintentionally makes enemies with the campuses resident mean girl. On the way back home after the audition, there is a tragic accident which results in the deaths on Finch’s parents. Finch is accepted to Ulalume and begins a new life, which is very different considering she had been homeschooled up until now. Finch navigates a new school, friendships, and romance. She also discovers a mystery about a local band that went missing in the possibly haunted tunnels underneath the academy.

My Dearest Darkest is the debut novel from Kayla Cottingham. It is a creepy atmospheric horror combined with a sweet coming of age tale. I do not like romance novels, but I loved the sapphic romance as naive Finch discovers that she is attracted to girls. I liked the mystery element and loved the Scooby gang vibes that were sprinkled throughout the story, including actually dressing up as Velma and Daphne at one point. This is a perfect combination of dark academia and eldritch horror. It was a very fast read and I enjoyed it so much I may have snuck in a couple of chapters while eating lunch at my desk at work. I look forward to reading more works by Kayla Cottingham in the future.

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