The Enneagram has become quite the hot commodity in Christian devotional and spiritual circles. Many are skeptical of it on account of its associations with the New Age movement and a lack of robust Biblical pedigree. Many people make way too much out of it, and far too many violate the foundational principle of not projecting a number on others. I have found the Enneagram to be functionally useful: almost everyone with whom I have discussed it and who took the test have found it eerily accurate in terms of the way they look at the world, their basic strength and struggles, in its instinctual centers, and the like. As a tool for self-analysis and an invitation to humility in realizing how one looks at the world and how it looks very different to others I find the Enneagram far superior to the Meyers-Briggs or other personality tests because the Enneagram is more specialized and goes far deeper. I am very interested to see if we will be able to figure out why the Enneagram “works,” or if that will be left to a later generation. I think it does “work,” but I also don’t think anyone has a great handle on why.

It is interesting to see the development and advancement of “Enneagram Studies", so to speak. Speaking by the Numbers: Enneagram Wisdom for Teachers, Pastors, and Communicators by Sean Palmer (galley received as part of early review program) involves such development and advancement. This work assumes one has basic familiarity with the Enneagram and a lot of the core concepts behind the Enneagram. The focus on the work is on the "centers of intelligence,” doing, feeling, and thinking: Eights, Nines, and Ones are considered the “doing” triad, in which gut instinct predominates; Twos, Threes, and Fours are considered the “feeling” triad, in which emotions/feeling predominate; and Fives, Sixes, and Sevens are considered the “thinking” triad, in which thought predominates. Each number will have another center which becomes less used and thus deemed “repressed”; the author associates this with Hornevian groups involving coping strategies of moving toward others, against others, or away from others. Thus the author will speak of “stances”: Ones, Twos, and Sixes are reckoned as “compliant” or “dependent” in stance, because they instinctively move toward others. Threes, Sevens, and Eights are reckoned as the “assertive” or “aggressive” stances, moving against others. Fours, Fives, and Nines are reckoned as “withdrawing” or “detached” in stance, moving away from others when needing to process something. Each stance has one member of each triad; two of the numbers will have a strength in one center and a weakness in another (Gut vs. Thinking, Feeling vs. Thinking, etc.), and the Threes - Sixes - Nines will be simultaneously strong and weak in their intelligence center (feeling, thinking, gut/doing, respectively).

From this the author would have the communicator think both about their own particular stance and how that affects how they communicate as well as to give consideration of how the various numbers in each of the stances can best hear what the communicator would communicate. This is the most helpful and insightful part of the work. It is mostly savage, for it focuses on the limitations and weaknesses inherent in each stance. The author is consistent and savages his own Threeness as much as he does others. He also provides sample speeches which would highlight the different communication strategies necessary for those in each stance.

Giving the communicator such things to think about is important and worthy in the book. The ultimate conclusion, however, proves a bit milquetoast, but for understandable reasons: ultimately, almost every audience is going to include people of the whole range of numbers, and thus the whole range of the intelligence centers, and so any speech or form of communication should have something which is directed at the mind, at the heart, and for action.

A lot of the time I am completely on board with Enneagram assessments, but as one gets deeper and more developed, some cracks begin to show. When one gets into more specifics, the ability to generalize gets weaker. It would seem the author identifies himself as a “pure” Three. I, for instance, identify as a 1w9, or a One with a Nine wing. Thus a lot, but not all, of his characterizations of Ones made sense to me. I think a lot of work needs to be done to see how those with wings, and thus some characteristics of one of the nearby numbers, affects how the centers of intelligence and stances work. At this point any kind of resource would become unwieldy; one has now gone from nine numbers in three triads and stances and multiplied them exponentially.

If you are interested in how the Enneagram can work in terms of communication, this is a good resource to consider.

This is perfect for anyone interested in the enneagram (kind of goes without saying) and those involved in or interested in ministry/church/Christianity. I really liked how the author framed this book, found it easy to read with tangible insights. Highly recommend if interested in psychology in the church.

If you communicate to anyone (kids, parents, congregation, spouse, friends, team, etc) I highly recommend picking up this very practical and insightful book. If you have never heard of the enneagram before, put this book back down. I would suggest the reader has a basic knowledge of the enneagram before picking up this book, It is an approachable and informative view of communication utilizing the enneagram. I have personally recommended this book to multiple people. In a world that is, now, full of books on relating to one another using the enneagram this book has made it to the top of my recommended resources list.

Thank you NetGalley for an ARC copy when I requested one.

How does the enneagram influence communication styles? If you've ever wondered how to teach and communicate more effectively this book offers wonderful tools.

3 stars = Good, solid, fine

This started out well. I enjoyed the emphasis on stances throughout the book. There's a lot of space here taken up by text of speeches that are supposed to exemplify ways to engage a specific stance. And while they were interesting, I don't feel like they were as instructive as they might have been. I would have preferred more shorter examples. Or keep the long speeches, but annotate them with notes of where the author was trying to raise a certain center for his audience. Or even examples of a point in the same speech, made in three ways to engage all three stances. Any of those things would have made this far stronger and a more engaging and useful resource.

As both a sometimes-communicator and an Enneagram fan, I was so excited to read this book to explore how knowledge of the Enneagram and how people engage with the world, could be used to communicate more clearly and more deeply to those I am speaking to. This definitely feels like a book that needed to be written, I know I’ve thought about this very topic myself, wondering how to better talk to each of the enneagram types in ways that will resonate more fully.

I loved some lines in Suzanne Stabile’s intro “…good communication includes at least these three elements: a relatable story, vulnerability and hope.” And also “ it doesn’t really matter what any of us have to say if other people can’t hear us and then apply it to their lives in meaningful ways.” Yes, Suzanne, exactly right.

I agree with Sean wholeheartedly that often there is a disconnect between how the communicator sees the world and how the hearers see the world and how tempting it can be to believe the way “I” see is the only right way.

I liked the point he made that said “Knowledge of one another is a power that should only be wielded with grace.” So true. Learning more and more about the enneagram, is a powerful tool that can also be dangerous if we are looking to exploit people instead of loving them well.

Chapter 3 was so good on its own, about racism. It made me hope Sean Palmer would be able to instruct me more on this topic alone.

I have to write a few ideas I found helpful so I can reference them in the future…
- Dependent stance (1s, 2s, and 6s) - use storytelling for personal connectedness, to lower defensiveness and to open the hearer to vulnerability. Marry vulnerability to data.
- Aggressive stance (3s, 7s, and 8s) - you have to give them an emotional vocabulary by naming and demonstrating feelings. “Displaying feelings is a superpower communicators should hone.” These numbers believe they could give your talk better than you! Learning is a form of submission, of vulnerability, which is difficult for them. (His thoughts on vulnerability are eye-opening, so good!)
- Withdrawing stance (4’s, 5’s, 9’s) - you have to remember why they withdraw/move away: 4’s to gain attention, 5’s to gain security and 9’s to gain autonomy. Remember that engagement costs them energy and they are very careful about where they put their energy. Unserious communicators are not worthy of their energy. “Communicators have to prepare with purpose for hearers who are listening for purpose.”

The conclusion of this book was excellent in summing up the things that we most need to know in order to speak to all centres all the time. We need to know our own numbers, know who should speak, tell stories, tell your own stories, write in community, ask these 3 questions:
What do I want my hearers to FEEL? THINK? DO?, manuscript your messages, get advance reviews, and seek your own wholeness.

“Great communicators connect first, not with their hearers but with their true selves.”

My thanks to Net Galley and InterVarsity Press for the opportunity to read this copy of Speaking By the Numbers. I really enjoyed reading it.

Speaking By the Numbers by Sean Palmer
​In this fascinating book, Palmer invites the reader to consider different types of listeners. He invites us as speakers -- whether teachers, pastors, or business CEOs—to consider three vastly different types of people. Palmer uses the Enneagram as a tool to help the speaker consider the “stances” of listeners: Dependent Stance, Aggressive Stance, or Withdrawing Stance.
​I grew up hearing about the Enneagram and have since read a few articles and an introductory book about the Enneagram, but Speaking By the Numbers helped me think about people—and the Enneagram—in a whole new way. Palmer shares that the Enneagram explains that each person is like a three-legged stool, needing to balance between thinking, feeling, and doing. Each person emphasizes one, and represses one of these three areas. When speaking to an audience, the speaker must remember that those listening favor one area over the other—so a speech needs to address all three areas: challenging the listener to think, feel, and do.
​The Enneagram wisdom Palmer shares in this book is balanced out by three short talks Palmer has given to an audience himself. These short speeches provide interesting stories and practical examples of how to create a talk that will interest and engage ones’ listeners.
​Whether you are entirely new to the Enneagram, or already have read multiple books about it, Speaking By the Numbers provides a unique gift to the reader--- and will give the reader much food for thought, becoming a book that may be frequently revisited.

This is a book that speaks about ways in which enneagram types perceive the world around them, and hence, gives tips to speak to them in a way that will move them.
For someone with no prior knowledge of the enneagram, this is a good introduction.

Speaking by the Numbers by Sean Palmer is a really interesting perspective on the enneagram. The author uses personal anecdotes to help explain the ways in which enneagram works in churches, etc. This book is geared towards public speaking and would be useful to anyone in that position. Great book overall. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.

I loved reading this book because it gave helpful tips on communicating with different Ennegram types. I believe everyone needs to read this book and have it in their library

It’s an interesting book on communication and tailoring it for the different enneagram types. It provided new angles to understanding the different types, which I enjoyed. Instead of organising the information by types, the author organised it by stances and triads, which I felt offered a deeper level of understanding to the enneagram types, but might be a little confusing for beginners. Still a useful book to learn about communication though!

According to the scholar Maurice Nicholl, we all have three "Centers of Intelligence: thinking, feeling, and doing." This is the key concept used in the development of the Enneagram tool, to help us understand more about our personality types and ourselves. From understanding the self, we are reminded of the core essence of life: Relationship and Community. For pastor and public speaker Sean Palmer, the Enneagram is a powerful tool for communications, and more importantly to understand ourselves and how we could play our roles in building the community we are in. Essentially, there are nine ways we could see the world. Yes, that's NINE! It is more than simply a mapping system. It is a lens to help us see what we react to different situations in life. As the saying goes: "We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." In other words, we are not what we are but what we see we are. The nine personality types are:

1) The Perfectionist: "What is wrong with the world?"
2) The Giver: "How can I help?"
3) The Performer: "What are my goals and accomplishments?"
4) The Tragic Romantic: "Why is life so disappointing?"
5) The Observer: "What data supports this trend?"
6) The Devil's Advocate: "What if Plan A doesn't work?"
7) The Epicure: "There is always hope!"
8) The Boss: "How do I keep the house in order?"
9) The Mediator: "What can I do to maintain peace?"

The numbers are tied to the personality types, so it is important to know they are not to be used interchangeably. Palmer begins cautiously with a reminder that the knowledge of the Enneagram should be adopted carefully. One must not use it to reduce people to a certain number or fixed type. For these are merely our orientations and do not necessarily lock us in. There are also sub-types that could only be understood over time. We should also not use this tool to hurt others, what Palmer calls "weaponization." Other warnings include the dangers of stereotyping and prejudice. This all reminds us that knowledge must be tempered with lots of wisdom. The author believes that such knowledge, used in conjunction with our communications skills, guided by wisdom can help communities flourish. The title of the book essentially marries the personality numbers with communications. Meant for pastors, teachers, and all types of communicators, it is hoped that by understanding ourselves and our audiences better, we can become better communicators through relatable storytelling. Those of us who regularly speak in front of a group should take heed.

Chapter One helps us understand what an Enneagram is and how it works. The author creatively explains the stances of thinking, feeling, and doing using a common commercial as an illustration. From none types, Palmer streamlines them into three groups of dominant triads, namely, the Feeling triad (2, 3, 4); the Fear/Thinking triad (5, 6, 7); and the Anger/Doing triad (8, 9, 1). Our stance of moving toward, away, or against reflects our backgrounds and our choices. Every number represents a particular type. Every triad indicates our stances. Every response we make represents our actions based on our stances. The key to the whole book lies in this chapter. Unless one is already familiar with the Enneagram and how it works, readers should take time to go through the material slowly before jumping into any other sections of the book.

Palmer takes pains to explain how to speak to the individual stances: Dependent, Aggressive, and Withdrawal, using his own stories as well as explaining the different scenarios for us to visualize.

My Thoughts
==============
Learning the Enneagram is no simple task. It requires not only an understanding of the key concepts used, it also needs regular practice in order to be useful. The author has graciously supplied a list of other resources for readers to learn more about the Enneagram. This helps us appreciate the wider applications this tool can have. Here in this book, the focus is on presentation and giving speeches. The author, being a frequent public speaker has adapted the Enneagram to improve his delivery style and to understand his audience. He is spot on when he says that "speaking is about the hearer, not the speaker." This little paradigm shift makes a huge difference in the way we prepare, plan, and deliver our messages. Incidentally, I am reminded of Jesus' commandment that we ought to love our neighbor. Indeed, this consideration from the hearers' perspective is an application of that command. Using the Enneagram to see that would take some learning and lots of practice. It also requires some shift in thinking. Instead of seeing the different types as strengths or weaknesses, see them in terms of energy. Which is more energy-giving or sapping? The latter is not necessarily a bad thing. We simply need to learn to recognize them and deal with them appropriately, such as rest when we are emotionally spent.

The chapters on how to approach the different stances help us see how the author applies the Enneagram in theory and real life. He often begins with how he stumbled before ending with some humble advice to share with us. By the way, for those who are new to the Enneagram, it helps to have a "cheat sheet" that lists the nine personality types for us to refer to. Knowing our own Enneagram number(s) helps us know ourselves better. Understanding our audiences' stances of Thinking, Feeling, or Doing help us tailor our messages accordingly. Learning to tell stories well enables us to use different combinations in order to reach a wider audience. In an age of easily available know-how and information on the Internet, people can find their answers quite easily by using an Internet search engine. When it comes to face-to-face communications and how we could reach out and touch lives, it is a different story. If there is one central message to take home from this book, it is this: "Speaking is not about us. It's about our hearers."

Indeed. We speak best only when we know our audience. Know ourselves. Know our hearers. Know our messaging strategy. The Enneagram is that tool to help us along that path.

Sean Palmer is the teaching pastor at Ecclesia Houston, a speaker, and an executive coach. He is the author of Unarmed Empire and a contributing writer to The Voice Bible. Sean is vice-chair of the Missio Alliance board. He and his wife, Rochelle, live in Houston, Texas, with their two daughters.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of InterVarsity Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.