this book was absolutely phenomenal. The writing and plot were so deliciously emotional and provocative. As hard as the subject matter was, it was constantly so purposeful and honest that I couldn’t get enough of it

Thank you NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for this ARC. This was a very hard read. The hard life the dark corners that the main character experience. It is a real life story that could happen to anyone. We have a choice to make in life, choose what is. right.

An incredibly stunning debut. The author's note made the book for me (always read the author's note)! Even though it's a shorter read, the characters were deep, rich and so vivid that they'll stick with me for a long time. I'm glad I decided to savour this one and read it over the course of a week.

School drop-outs Kiara and Marcus are barely scraping by. Trying to support both themselves and a neighborhood boy, Kiara finds herself having to turn to prostitution in order for them to survive. A heavy, hard-hitting look at poverty and the twists and turns of life that can lead to trouble in a hard world.

DNF on page 100. The abuse is just too hard to read right now. I took a long break from reading it, but still can’t digest it.

It is amazing that this was written by a seventeen-year-old. I would definitely try something else by the author.

There are several other positive reviews, so be sure to give those a read before being swayed by my thoughts.

Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for providing an arc via Netgalley.

Mottley is an American author who will turn 20 this June. She was inspired to write this novel (her first) when she learned about an 2016 actual sex misconduct case in Oakland that resulted in four police officers fired and seven others suspended. The story revolves around 17-year-old Kiara whose dad died in prison and whose mom is presently incarcerated. She was left in the custody of her older brother Marcus, but he never has a job and spends all his time trying to be a rap star. She is forced to work to pay the rent and feed herself and never has enough money. In addition she cares for a young neighbour boy, whose mom has disappeared. Facing eviction she eventually turns to prostitution, but soon finds herself the centre of a major police scandal. This is a beautifully written but very dark novel and is a great recommendation for readers looking for intense literary fiction. I really enjoyed it.

At the beginning of the novel, Kiara Johnson is just three months short of her 18th birthday. She and her brother Marcus live in an apartment in East Oakland. Their father is dead and their mother is in prison. Their rent is doubled, and Kiara fears they will be evicted. Marcus, though older, is unwilling and unable to hold down a job; his focus is on becoming a star rapper, though his talent is questionable. Kiara tries to think of a way to find rent money, but being a high school dropout, she has no luck finding a job. Desperate, she stumbles into nightcrawling (sex work) which provides enough money to pay the rent and help her look after 10-year-old Trevor, whose drug-addicted mother has abandoned him. Then she quickly finds herself part of a sex-trafficking ring servicing members of the Oakland Police Department.

This is not an easy read. Much of it is heartbreaking as Kiara faces one problem after another. The book touches on several heavy issues: police corruption and brutality, sexual exploitation and violence, racism, gender inequity, poverty, misogyny, family dysfunction, child neglect and abandonment, and the unfairness of the justice system. To describe the book as intense and gritty is almost an understatement. The Author’s Note indicates that the story is based on real events (https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/07/oakland-police-officers-fired-sexual-misconduct-scandal) and that makes the story that much more disturbing.

Kiara is an amazing character. Though she has virtually no one supporting her, she refuses to give up and be crushed by the problems she faces. She is abandoned by family and society, but her tenacious spirit means she remains resilient. An especially admirable quality is her fierce protectiveness of Trevor. It is not difficult to conclude that she sees herself in Trevor so is determined that he not suffer as she has. A friend tells Kiara, “’you got too much heart to be a sellout, Ki, you ain’t cruel enough for none of that. I know you wouldn’t go leaving Marcus or Trevor or me just to make bank.” Kiara’s challenges would leave many strong and determined people totally devastated. What is also amazing is that Kiara is able to find moments of joy amidst the pain she experiences.

A particular focus of the book is how women, especially racialized women, are expected to put others first. In her Author’s Note, she mentions, “Like many black girls, I was often told growing up to tend to and shield my brother, my dad, the black men around me: their safety, their bodies, their dreams. In this, I learned that my own safety, body, and dreams were secondary, that there was no one and nothing that could and would protect me.” Kiara is forced to grow up quickly because “these streets open us up and remove the part of us most worth keeping: the child left in us.” She describes herself as feeling “stuck between mother and child.” She realizes “how sacred it is to be young” and wishes for comfort from her mother but a visit to her shows her mother “asking me to fix her up.” Kiara lets her older brother pursue his dream and protects Trevor however she can, feeling she is expected to “hollow myself out for another person who ain’t gonna give a shit when I’m empty.” Though she admits feeling she is being asked “to wring myself dry of everything I got": “I’m tired of it. Tired of having to be out here thinking about all these people, all these things to keep me alive, keep them alive. I don’t got no air left for none of it.” Kiara is one of many black woman expected to sacrifice for men; in the process she becomes “vulnerable, unprotected, and unseen.”

Though used to describe some horrific scenes, the language is very lyrical. Of course, this is not surprising because the author was once Oakland’s Youth Poet Laureate.

This is an emotionally raw novel which is difficult to read but is nonetheless a necessary book.

Note: I received a digital galley from the publisher via NetGalley.

Very, very tough read but an absolutely amazing book! The writing is so extremely well done and I cannot believe that the writer started writing this book when she was only 17!! This is one of those books that will change you as a person. Definitely heartbreaking and unforgettable. This book itself is fiction but is inspired by true events; I feel sick knowing that things like this happen. I just cannot understand how!?!

The story deals with some very difficult topics such as poverty, sex work, police brutality, sexual abuse, racial and gender inequities and so much more. The main character, Kia, is such a strong and determined person who still does not allow all of the injustices she faces cause her to give up or lose her ability to love. I have no idea how that would even be possible. You can't help but root for her even when you know the hand she was dealt in life leaves her so completely and utterly powerless.

It really gives you an inside view of the day to day stuggle to survive that results from poverty and how you really can't understand any decisions made until you are actually in that position and able to feel what they are feeling in that moment. I am so angry at both society and the justice system for letting things like this happen. It is really just so hard to comprehend.

I 100% reccomend this book but please keep in mind that it deals with some very heavy but important topics. I think Leila did an amazing job and can't wait to see what else she comes out with; will definitely be following her future work.

I received a copy of this book through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I have major respect for this author - to be 17 years old and writing this is phenomenal. I wish all the best to this author, but the book was not for me.

The synopsis was so intriguing but I found myself lost in the writing style. The narration is so beautiful, but it’s overwhelming. Then, the dialogue has a completely different style. Instead of coming together in perfect symmetry, they collide together and shred apart all the focus it takes to keep up and comprehend what the story is actually about.

I hope this book is loved by many people and I hope to see more from this author.