Wow, what an impactful read.

In "My Government Means to Kill Me" by Rasheed Newson we follow Trey who has just moved to New York City for a new start in life. As a young, gay, black man he is on a journey to discover himself and his place in the world all while facing the impacts of the AIDS crisis during the 1980's.Trey's journey is one of strength and resilience. After experiencing a childhood tragedy for which he blames himself he branches out at 18 to start a new life in The Big Apple. Trey begins to explore his sexuality in one of the last remaining gay bath-houses where he meets a prominent civil rights activist and with his help discovers his passion for activism and trying to reconcile his guilt by contributing to ACT UP and other gay rights movements as well as managing his identity as a black man.

This story was a rollercoaster. From the start I felt as though I was reading a non-fiction memoir. This author's research into the time period and events that shaped it was impeccable and I learned a lot while reading this story without it feeling cumbersome. The footnotes included were helpful at piecing together the people, places and events that I was unfamiliar with.
From the start I felt drawn in by Trey's character. He is an 18 year old at the beginning of this story and just trying to make it through life. As a 30-year old I can still relate. He makes mistakes and learns to atone from them. Unlike myself, however, Trey has a whole lot of gumption. He does what he feels is right sometimes without thinking about the consequences. For example, lying about his connections to begin a successful rent strike. I could never. Its hard to put into words but the reason I loved this book is because I was brought along on Trey's journey every step of the way and felt every emotion. I am not a gay, black man but I could empathize with much of what Trey was going through. The journey to finding yourself is messy and along with shedding light on the politics of the time period and the injustices that are still faced by marginalized groups today my that is my biggest takeaway from this book. No matter how much we have to sacrifice or feel that we are struggling we need to continue to stand up for what we believe in and continue to learn and grow each day.

There is so much in this story that I am struggling to put into words and with that all I can say is please read this book. It is educational and emotional and even sordid at times but it will leave you thinking and impacted. A very important read so that we can remember how far we have come and how far we still need to go when it comes to righting injustices and fighting for equality in America.

**Thank you NetGalley for the e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review**

I couldn't get through this title. It ended up not being for me, but I hope it finds a hope with other readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

My Government Mean to Kill Me is one of those novels so filled with detail and emotion and fully flushed out characters that it reads like a memoir. This coming of age queer novel is captivating and propulsive. Thought it deals with what can objectively called a very dark time for queer men, it is so filled with heart and humor and love that it never feels like trauma porn. It shows the dark realities of a time when AIDS was a daily fear through the lens of queer joy and love and humanity. Highly recommended, I will be reading more by Rasheed Newson

Rasheed is a great literary citizen had the pleasure of meting him at Literary Death Match West Hollywood. Great crisp sentences: "Gregory said whatever was on his mind, which is a habit that society punishes, but I found it exhilarating to be around. He helped bash the repression of prep-school right out of me."

Loved this title so much. It was so visceral and raw, I enjoyed how it highlighted racism and social constructs. Loved this one.

This was such an amazing book. Everything about it was so moving. I’m a big sucker for historical fiction and I think that the way this book represented the time period was perfect! Would reccomend to everyone

This was a little bit different than what I was initially expecting, I enjoyed the footnotes and the historical contexts throughout the book.

This was an absolutely heartbreaking book, I really look forward to more from Newson, I think he has a long career in fiction (print and visual) ahead of him

I am a member of the American Library Association Reading List Award Committee. This title was suggested for the 2023 list. It was not nominated for the award. The complete list of winners and shortlisted titles is at <a href="https://rusaupdate.org/2023/01/2023-reading-list-announced-years-best-in-genre-fiction-for-adult-readers/">

My Government Means to Kill Me follows Trey, a young black gay man trying to make his own way in 1980’s NYC. This fits in a few genres: historical fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, lit fic… but the most impressive thing about it is that it reads so much like a memoir that I (and many other readers) had to check several times to verify that we were not reading non-fiction. The addition of footnotes and real historical figures made this genre-bending in just the way I like. Speculative historical fiction is a niche genre I’m learning I love and this one was *chef's kiss*.

One thing I especially loved about this story is that Trey is not a broken, damaged protagonist in the way that many authors would choose to write a young, queer black man in the early years of the AIDS crisis. He has agency; he’s young and naive, but also full of gumption; and his backstory adds some intrigue and mystery to an already full story. Since I worked in the HIV field, I like seeing HIV/AIDS stories reflected in literature, but they can often be “overdone.” If you’re looking to either read to learn more about this era OR you’re wanting to revisit a time period that meant something to you without reading tragedy porn, this is a great fit.

Stunningly, MGMTKM was my first read of 2023 and I already know it will be a favorite of the year. I chose this by doing that thing where you read the first sentence of a few books in front of you. I read them aloud and everyone agreed this one had to be next: “It is true that before moving to New York City in May of 1985, I turned my back on a six-figure trust fund.” It opens with a hook and is a wild ride from there on out.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 4.5 stars

Read this if:
🌈 You’re looking to add more LGBTQ+ fiction to your reading list
🗂 Speculative historical fiction books like Rodham are favorites of yours
🍆 You’re ready for lots of gay $3x in your next read 🍑💦😜

This book was a very interesting style of historical fiction. The faux-memoir format was really engrossing and pulled me in immediately. Some of the choices for how real people were discussed threw me off through out and some of the main characters motivations didn't quite land for me, but over all I found the book an entertaining and touching look at gay history.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴?
Told from a first person perspective, Newson’s novel reads more like a memoir that mixes real events with fictional ones.
Newson’s characters are colorful and well developed. You can tell he wanted to give an authentic voice to the queer community during the 80s.
What surprised me the most was the way Newson tackled heavy topics without leaving me feeling bogged down by sadness.
Some topics worth noting include, the AIDS crisis, homophobia, and the civil rights movement. I appreciated the added footnotes that gave substance to the real life events he drew his inspiration from.
My Government Means to Kill Me has landed a permanent spot in my top 5 for the year. I cannot wait to see what comes next for Rasheed Newson!

This book has energy and is fast paced and brutally honest. i normally do not like footnotes but the ones in this give great bits of gay history. It is an awakening of a young, gay, black man and is a powerful story. It pushes the plot along while staying in reality. The victory that is this book is the indivual finding strength and the purpose his marginalized community gives him. They lift him up and give him power and value and demand that participation in society. It is important to find our worth and power whether anyone else can see it or aknowlege it and make our own inclusion. I found this an interesting and important read. I am glad it was bravely and honestly told. I was a little disappointed in things left out but it cant have everything. I also did not like how the ends were left loose at the end but still thought was a good book.

I don't usually read historical fiction but this book was phenomenal. It shows how oppressive systems are pervasive (continuing now) and really gives a good entry point into understanding the pain in the queer community from the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

A beautiful book that seems so true to life and vibrant that it feels much more like a memoir than a novel, My Government Means to Kill Me is an incredible portrait of what it meant to be a participant, advocate, and activist in the 1980s gay community of New York City. Perhaps it isn’t surprising as the narrator of this novel, like Newson, grew up in Indianapolis and moved to New York, and ended up working at a hospice for patients with AIDS.

I found this to be a relentlessly moving novel with momentum and afterimage that is hard to shake. The protagonist, Trey Singleton, has one of those lives that mirrors the great bildungsroman pieces where the main character is front and center for some of the most iconic moments of a particular cultural movement. He goes from being young and shy to being a regular at a heavily attended bathhouse to being at the front and center of the AIDS crisis and a founding member of ACT UP. In a lot of ways, I absolutely love this book in the same ways that I love the stories of my youth that fall into similar thematic categories – RENT, My Own Private Idaho, A Home At The End of the World. It is a raw portrait of the world and the communities that I grew up in, but a window into the lives of others that I only experienced indirectly as an observer. Heck, the Trumps even get what’s coming to them in this piece. This novel is stark, handsome, and electric with the energy of the time.

Newson’s prose tells a story with a vibrancy that is unparalleled in its lucidity. This novel not only is an accurate portrait of the times and places but it is composed of the same cloth and woven with a dexterous hand of realism. It is difficult to have finished it and it not to be a nonfiction book – and I think that that is a testament to the adept handling of Newson and his brilliant storytelling. Where there is no question that Forrest Gump is too good to be true, Trey Singleton’s story is too good not to be, and that is the sign of a work that has been heavily steeped in craft, originality, and strength of the writing. I think this is a wildly underappreciated book, and I am relatively surprised that there aren’t more people discussing its incredible characterization, writing, and artistic hyperrealism about a time that is familiar to so many of us… I hope that as I recommend it to others, and to you, Rasheed Newson’s novel gets the attention it deserves. It’s truly remarkable.

OMG, I could not put this novel down. It follows the story of a young black gay men coming of age in the 1980s in New York City. Newson does a remarkable job with this novel. I especially enjoyed how he weaved real-life figures & events from that period into the story. There were many times it read more like a memoir & not a novel. I cannot wait to read more from Rasheed Newson, he’s an excellent storyteller.

Have I read a book like this before? I'm not quite sure if I'm being honest.

Obviously I've picked up historical fiction, I've read books centering queer characters, books featuring fictional characters interacting with or referencing real people. I've read a lot of books in my life, adn yet this one seems to defy explanation.

It's a narrative for sure, somehow a very narrow yet expansive look into the life of Trey, and one that I think will stick with me.

I can freely admit that I have a soft spot for a good footnote. There's something about that little extra nugget of information that I eat up when a book introduces them, and I thought it was extra playful how the footnotes and Trey's story occasionally played off one another as though some third party was interacting with the first person narration that the narrative is told in.

I don't think that this is a book for everyone. I think how you feel about the first few chapters of the book make it clear how the tone is going to be going forward and if you're going to be able to connect to the narrative in a way that will enrich your reading experience. In some ways the chapters felt episodic, and I don't know if that's just because I was aware of the fact that Newson has a history in making content for television that I projected that into the book or if it's a byproduct of the way I've been reading books lately in attempting to see how they could be adapted. This gives big miniseries energy. Lots of off colored flashbacks, I could see it working out.

It's potentially a book I'd get more out of if I read it again, or if I picked up a finished copy and not simply the earc I read for the purposes of crafting this review. And while I wouldn't urge everyone to pick up a copy I do think that if the premise sounds interesting to you that the narrative does a good job on delivering that in a way that I personally found satisfying and engaging to read.

You cannot read this as an ebook. You need to get a physical copy, because this book is stuffed with footnotes; footnotes about the time that it’s set in, footnotes to help you better understand the book. Instead of a historical fiction novel that takes place fully in the past, the author acknowledges that people reading it are from today, and need some help along.

This book is kind of a mirror to HELL FOLLOWED WITH US, in that it’s a book we absolutely need Right Now and there is no better time for it or for you to read it than Right Now, and also it is completely different than HELL FOLLOWED WITH US. It’s an important read. It’s an incredible read. Pick it up, and then pick up another copy to lend out.

Four and a half stars. (It’s because the ebook was a little bit of a nightmare to navigate.)

My Government Means to Kill Me is exactly what I look for in historical fiction, and this was executed beautifully and powerfully by Rasheed Newson. Through Trey, a young, Black, gay man determined to create his own path, Newson teaches about LGBTQ+ and Black history that is simply not taught. The author utilizes footnotes to expand upon and comment on references throughout the book. It reads very much like a memoir as well. The characters are vivid, including the historical figures who play roles in the story and Trey's development as an activist. This book is wholly original with a powerful voice and reflection on forgotten histories. Read. This. Book.

This book was genius. This is a fictional memoir, which blew my mind because I was convinced this was about a real person. I learned so much about queer history, which is one of my favorite topics. I also learned a lot about black history and black queer history which I wasn't as educated on. I'm really glad I got to read this book, it was incredible. I wish the book went further or hinted at where the main character was today, but I loved all we actually got from the story. Absolutely incredible.