This was a beautiful and unique story told from two different perspectives. I LOVE multiple perspectives and this one was so interesting. Two imperfect and entertaining characters. A mother who was never able to marry the love of her life and her gay son who has yet to come out to his mother are speaking about their lives. The way they speak about each other within their individual stories without the other knowing how they really feel is just so heartbreaking. I enjoy seeing which memories stick with them and what parts of their lives they are willing to share with the people they love. The characters and their stories are so realistic, complex, and enjoyable. Renu is my favorite character and has been since the very beginning. There is such sadness throughout but occasionally there are moments of humor especially in her stories. I found some parts of this book slow but it is certainly worth the read.

I received this ARC from Netgalley and Flatiron Books.

This book is slow paced but it pulled me in quickly and held my attention throughout the story. Tell Me How To Be is one of the best books I’ve read this year – really one of the best books I’ve ever read. The story focuses on the characters’ struggles and their family dynamics. It explores how trauma in one generation affects the next generation and how keeping secrets from family members damages relationships. I enjoyed the slow peeling away of the main characters’ experiences to explain their present-day choices and motivations.

My one criticism of this story is that one of the characters seemed to be an alcoholic but at some point, the character just decided to stop drinking too much. This seemed unrealistic and to minimize the hard work and of facing an addiction.

I recommend listening to the audiobook. The narration is amazing! Vikas Adam is so good at doing the different voices, that I had to check that there wasn’t more than one narrator.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.

If you're in the mood for a dark and emotional story, this may be for you. It felt longer than 336 pages to me, with essentially no comic relief, a bunch of unhappy—and fairly unpleasant—characters, and family drama to the hilt.

While the book was overwhelmingly dark and brooding, there were small moments of humor. Most of these had to do with Renu's negative attitudes toward American women (not entirely without merit; I was especially amused by her commentary on use of hot peppers). There was also a moment of mirth (and only this one moment in the whole book—they argue and physically fight throughout) between Akash and his older brother in which they make fun of the (in this case) Indian “uncles'” head wobble (if you've seen it, you understand).

Thank you, NetGalley, Macmillan Audio, and Flatiron Books, for the audio ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review. Publication is expected December 7.

Listened to an ARC.

I selected this audiobook as my traveling companion back through my hometown (though my parents no longer live there) and to visit my grandmother (who still lives in the same house).
I had to wait a few days to let this book marinate before writing a review.

What I wanted was a gritty exploration into the interpersonal conflict between a parent and a child. This happens to some extent but much later than I'd expected around the 75% mark.

What I got was so much more than I could have hoped. Written from alternating points of view between a mother and younger son, both are love letters to the "what if" as each explores a much different concept of what it means to love themselves or other people.

Highly recommend for anyone, though there is some adult content.

This is a beautifully told story of a young guy recounting his experiences as a gay (not out) in a Hindu household. Equally important is the story of his mother who always harbored a secret love for a Muslim man. The stories are told so that the young man is addressing his first love and the mother is addressing her first lover. And we get the story from both of these perspectives.

If you need characters to always make the right decisions, to always do the "right" thing, this is not going to be the story for you. This is full of deeply flawed characters and as such they did, for the most part, feel very real. I loved the idea of the thing, and the execution is almost flawless. If there is one thing that I must critique is not that the characters weren't "likable" but that some of the character arcs didn't feel fully earned. Or at least, that narratively I didn't see the catalyst for change as clearly as I wanted to. That said, I did enjoy the way this story was told and what it was saying. It felt very real and if that feels like code for "none of the characters were likable" then yeah maybe it is, but I think the story is better for it.

As for the Audiobook, there is only one voice actor credited for this title but I would have put real money that it is two. If it isn't then this voice actor, Vikas Adam, has real range as I was 100% certain that Renu's part was a voice actress. The audio is excellent. There is a lot of emotion to the dialogue and was very easy to immerse into. I would give the audio performance alone a 5 star.