Cover Image: Been There, Done That

Been There, Done That

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Member Reviews

The cover alone for this book told me that this was going to be a fun read and Rachel Feltman did not disappoint! Her style of writing was comical and entertaining. The mere top of the history of sex could be such a pandora's box, but Feltman shares information in such a way that it narrows down topics for the reader to digest. I found myself laughing while reading it and found it very enjoyable to read.

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Thank you, Netgalley for the opportunity to review this title. Sadly, I didn't find it as 'rousing' as I had hoped, although Rachel is quite funny with her writing.

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"Been There, Done That: A Rousing History of Sex" by Rachel Feltman is a captivating exploration of the diverse tapestry that is human sexuality. Feltman's approach is both informative and engaging, offering readers a comprehensive yet accessible journey through the history of human intimacy. This book is a testament to Feltman's expertise and passion for the subject, making it an invaluable resource for those curious about the intricate complexities of our sexual evolution.

What sets this book apart is Feltman's ability to balance meticulous research with a conversational and relatable writing style. She skillfully navigates through centuries of human sexual behavior, providing context, insights, and anecdotes that bring history to life. Feltman's witty and approachable tone makes even the most intricate details of sexual history both accessible and enjoyable.

The book's structure is well-organized, allowing for a seamless progression from ancient practices to modern attitudes towards sex. Feltman skillfully weaves together threads of biology, culture, and societal norms, creating a rich narrative that offers a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted nature of human intimacy. The inclusion of diverse perspectives and experiences adds depth to the exploration.

"Been There, Done That" is not only an educational journey through time, but also a celebration of the diversity and resilience of human sexuality. Feltman's book is a testament to her dedication to providing readers with a thoughtful and enlightening perspective on a topic that is often shrouded in misconceptions and taboos. It is a must-read for anyone interested in the rich history of human intimacy and the fascinating stories that have shaped our sexual evolution.

I was provided an advanced copy of this book by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

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I try to throw in a few amusing non-fiction reads for the summer, and this one was a wonderful addition to my reading stack. I loved all of the factual information and historical tidbits, and learning about different animal kingdom facts was a great plus. If you're looking for amusing procreation information, this is the book for you. I wouldn't say this book is sexual or spicy AT ALL - it stays firmly in the comparison to the rest of nature, animal and organism information, and historical romps category. It had me laughing a bunch, and gave me tons of fun facts!

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I received this book for free from that Cali for an honest review. This was wildly entertaining and very knowledgeable about the subject the author really made great points and I figured out stuff I did not know.

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An intersting history of sex! Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for granting me access to an e-arc.

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A non-fiction book that’s a pleasure to read! I was literally laughing out loud from chapter one, and I loved the learning throughout. If only textbooks could be written in a voice like this!

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Rachel Feltman’s Been There, Done That: A Rousing History of Sex delivers on exactly what the title promises. It’s a fun to read, accessible and inclusive look at topics around the biology and very weird history of sex.

It’s not that long and thus not as in-depth as you might expect such a topic to be, but that made it feel all the more readable. The tone is light and humorous (we’ll come back to that) and Feltman, Executive Editor at Popular Science, emphasizes a message of “Everything Weird Is Normal—Everything Normal Is Weird.” Basically, as long as things are between consenting adults, it’s fine and “normal”, has been done before, and isn’t anything you should feel weird about. Wait till you hear what James Joyce was into!

It covers a lot of myth-busting, including of some surprising topics, like around STIs, and Feltman is adept at picking out the most interesting bits of history to build the book around. However shocking or weird you thought old-timey beliefs about sex were, they’re more shocking and weird than that.

Now the humor: although I initially enjoyed it and it’s what makes the reading light and quickly paced, it gets old very fast. The jokes start to grate because it feels like one had to be made every couple of sentences. It becomes exhausting and many are groan-worthy. I don’t recommend reading this straight through, or without switching off with something else.

I also think that a lot of this material has been covered in some iteration elsewhere, so it may not be as fascinating if you’ve read other pop biology or similar titles. But for a light read with tons of trivia-worthy bits of info, this works.

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Definitely an exploration of sex.

From what can be gleaned from her comments throughout the book, the author grew up in Evangelical Christianity and purity culture and now identifies as a queer woman.

She has considered a lot of history and modern scientific research and explores a good number of the domains of sexuality: courtship/dating/premarital sex, marital sex, extramarital sex, same sex relations, toys, kink, contraception, abortion, etc.

What she presents certainly challenges predominant views about what sex and sexuality should be. Those from a religious and/or culturally conservative background will find much of it licentious and provocative, and yet it remains important to grapple with differing views and be willing to see where our views might well be more culturally conditioned than we'd care to have previously admitted.

Definitely provocative. The author does not hide her perspective. But you might learn some things.

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This was kind of a mixed bag of fun science and facepalming at the patriarchy. The end notes and bibliography are pretty great. I was less interested in Feitman's personal anecdotes, although I do get that an interesting author with relatable experiences helps to normalize things that average readers may consider super-weird in the privacy of their own limited experience.

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This was a really interesting and insightful read. I really enjoyed the writing style, as it made the topic accessible for the everyday reader, while delving into sometimes academic concepts.
We get to see the evolution of human sexuality and the fact that there really isn't much that is new under the sun. I also appreciate how she uses various animals to get her points on certain topics across, it made the subject matter all the more interesting.

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Thank you Netgalley for this ARC of Been There, Done That by Rachel Feltman.

Informative, funny, and entertaining as hell! Rachel Feltman lays everything on the table when it comes to sex. It's history, science, stigmas, and stories. Woven with a ton of wit, and you have a read that will teach and titillate, okay, maybe not, but it felt right to say that for this review ;)

I don't even know if I'd call this a complaint, but it does have a good amount of science in it. I'm not a science whiz, but if you are, she knows her stuff. But don't fear if it's not your thing either. She still keeps it fast and fresh with a lot of anecdotes and interesting info. Great read, very fun.

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I did not like this book. I've read high school and college essays better than this book. On the flip side I can see a group of people liking this book, because it highly focuses on queer sex and the evolution of queer sex for half the book. If you're going to talk about sex, you have to talk about all heteronormativity sex as well beyond a blurb of it's just so we can make babies. There are redundancies of referring back to people, i.e. remember this person because of this one thing, several times throughout the book. Like I'm not smart enough to recall what was said earlier, one time is enough in describing why I need to remember this person. Again, I can see some people liking this book, it's more focused on the LGBT community and they're sexual history than sex history and evolution as a whole. So if that's what you're looking for then this book is for you. I honestly felt the author was very condescending towards the thought process of how conception worked, birth control, and really any male scientist. The same joke was made several times as well, and lastly, the research aspect of this book felt lacking. It seemed as though the author did light research on some of the topics. The writing itself flowed nicely and the book cover is great.

This is a light hearted book rather than scholarly, which wasn't what I was looking for, so that is part of the reason why I wasn't enjoying the book as much as I should have.

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Been There Done That was such an interesting read. I went in thinking this was just going to be a silly read about some ‘strange’ sexual facts. Man was I half wrong. This book had moments of humor, but it was full of information I really didn’t know about.

How some animals have sex, the actual history behind things like kinks, STIs, and sex and religion. I loved it. I loved learning about how the world has changed and also not changed at all when it comes to sex and sexual desires.

This book also made me feel liberated in knowing that as long as you’re not hurting anyone in a none consensual way, you are not alone and it’s perfectly fine to like what you like.

I really recommend this book if you are curious about sex or your desires. Or if you just want to know some cool historical facts!

4 stars!

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This was entertaining reading, and the author's style is very readable, but this wound up being much more about animals, when I was expecting it to be mostly devoted to human sexual behavior and history. It's not that the facts weren't interesting and usually tied to a corresponding point about humans, but large sections of most chapters were devoted to animal behavior.

I did appreciate how reassuring and affirming the author was. Basically, there is nothing new under the sun and as long as you're not causing unreasonable or non-consensual injury to yourself or others, you do you. It's all "normal" and you're probably not alone. This is a message a lot of people could benefit from hearing.

Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!

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At first Ms Feltman's tongue-in-cheek style seemed amusing. A few chapters in, it started to annoy me. However, by the end of this read I realized that the levity added to the information through this style of writing made the subject far more approachable. Having grown up in a puritanical environment, as Ms Feltman mentions in the text a few times; sex isn't talked about (and even alluding to it can get you in hot water).
Ms Feltman approaches not just the act itself in the various domains of life, but also the idea of gender and how rarely it is concrete in nature. She presents a well-researched treatise that is easy and enjoyable to read for the layman. Worth a reread and I plan to keep this text around as a reference.

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5 stars

I am grateful to the publisher PublicAffairs, Bold Type Books for sending me an advanced copy of this book for review.

This is probably the funniest nonfiction book that I've ever read. It was hilarious from beginning to end. While the hilarity of the narrative really stood out, the actual content of the book was very well organized and presented. This book discusses the topics of sex, reproduction, and the societal standards that surround the way in which these things are discussed and the way these things were perceived by societies throughout time. Though I was already familiar with most of the information in here, I was still able to learn many interesting new facts. I think this book is an excellent tool for dispersing information and the Narrative format of this book makes it accessible, engaging, and not at all like reading a textbook .

I think the author did a great job of combining fun facts about the animal Kingdom, human history, and funny anecdotes, which keep the reader interested and allow for great retention of information . I also think there was a really good balance between discussing societal issues like gender inequality, LGBTQ+ issues, and Capitalism , while staying on topic and showing how these things are directly connect with how we see/engage with sex. And again, this was not done in a way that never seemed tedious , but rather quite engaging and funny.

I really enjoyed this read and I'm glad I picked it up. I would recommend this for every reader who has an interest in the topic of sex and its perception in our societies, and not just for fans of nonfiction . I think any audience could find this book to be enjoyable as well as informative.

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Many thanks to NetGalley for supplying me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review. And extra kudos to Shelf Awareness for putting this book on my radar!

Friends, I've read a fair amount of books on the history of sex. When I was an anthropology student it was a big area of interest for me. So this is ground I've tread, and I'm always happy to tread it again.

Some highlights:
-Welcoming to readers of every gender identity and sexual orientation
-Taught me the ol' "vibrator were invented as a treatment for hysteria" narrative I'd been taught since undergrad is highly questionable and poorly researched
-Acknowledges kink without laughing at it

Could be improved:
-Cover more ground beyond Western perspectives of sex (Feldmen def looks beyond the US and Europe, but I'd have loved to see more)
-A few references that immediately date the text
-Lil more LGBTQ history outside of the Greeks and Romans, some focus on the AIDS epidemic and experiences beyond the US would be rad!

There is certainly a lot Feldmen introduces familiar to me, yet it's a fresh take that feels more inclusive than predecessors on the subject. Her presentation is snappy, friendly, and approachable to readers who might have some awkward feelings around the subject. This is a great introduction, a solid Sparknotes for anyone who is just wading into these topics. For those who just like reading about sex, this is an excellent alike read for fans of Mary Roach's Bonk, as it covers some different ground.

From porn to vibrators to kinks, Feldman breaks her chapters down into brief sections that concisely and effectively relay. There is plenty of humor infused throughout, but the book closes on a rousing personal story around Feldmen's own experiences with the taboo surrounding sex, an abusive relationship, then finding her own empowerment and liberation. 10/10 messaging to me.

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I would rate this book 3 1/2 stars out of 5.

If you just went off the introduction section of this book you would be ready to dive into this book to see what information the author would have next about everyone's favorite subject "Sex". But sadly, that is not the case in my opinion. Not to take anything away from the author because I will give her that this book is packed with information, and I would say well researched but at the first 25% of that book was like reading a scientific textbook. It did get a little bit better but not much in my opinion. I did find Cleopatra method of getting there by using a jar full of bees interesting. As well as the chastity belt that was to prevent you from getting stimulated, man what an evil device. And last but not least the man reason John Harvey Kellogg developed corn flakes because what put pressure on a prostrate. Sorry you will have to read it to see what it is. I had hoped this book would have gotten better as you moved along but it was a little better than average with all the information. Thank you to Netgalley and Bold Type Books for an ARC for a fair and honest review.

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If you're looking for a great, humorous read on everyone's favorite subject (and if you deny that you agree with that last phrase, you're lying), this is the book. Feltman looks at sex from every angle (no pictures). After reading, I learned more about human sexuality and sexuality in general. She makes the case that we have a lot of behaviors similar to our animal cousins, and that our drives are perfectly natural (as are our kinks). There are some OK chapters, and some better chapters, but I guess that would depend on what you are wanting to learn about. I give her a hand on the masturbation chapter.

She has a lot of great suggested reading if you want to continue the journey of reading about sexual history, as well.

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