There is no denying this is a well-written autofiction. We follow Elliot, a rich, disabled gay man as he implodes his life in a quest of self discovery. The first third is, frankly, a bit boring and I put the novel down multiple times to read something more interesting. But the humor and candor of the writing brought me back every time until I was able to finish. That's probably my main issue with this narrative - the pacing. The beginning is sluggish, the middle is even, and the end barrels in like a bull. The heart of this book is clear and it was a treat to see, but I think overall this style just wasn't for me.

**Thank you NetGalley and Atria Books for the eARC**

In this book we follow Ryan O’Connell throughout his life navigating things such as relationships, his disability, addiction and much more. This was a book outside of my comfort zone but I did enjoy it a lot! I thought the writing was funny, which was not something I was expected and I found that following Ryan along through this obstacles was super interesting and I see how this could be really relatable for all different people. I will definitely have to check out his Netflix special after enjoying his book this much!

It has taken me a while to think of the words I want to use to describe this story. I read it rather quickly. There were definitely some funny parts. Overall though, the main character, Elliott, left me feeling sad for him. It’s a story of learning to love yourself, before you learn to love others and let others love you. It’s learning how to let go and get out of your comfort zone, even if that comfort zone is a six year relationship.

Elliott is a gay man with Cerebral Palsy. Living the life in Hollywood. In a long-term, safe relationship. His boyfriend coddles him and takes care of his every need. He comes to realize that that’s not what he needs or wants anymore.

Ugh i loved this so much! this was the perfect combination of funny and thought-provoking.

Also, the cover.... stunning!

I can't wait to recommend this to everyone I know!

first person character (Elliott) and the relationships he has with family and boyfriend(s). I could not fully get into the story, the idea is good.

Ok this one was seriously hilarious and the humor had such a sharp bite that made me cackle. Could hear Ryan’s voice in my head as I was reading.

As a straight female in her late-thirties, maybe this book wasn't "for me", but I still somewhat enjoyed it. Ryan O'Connell is a hilarious, unflinching writer, and his pop-culture references were spot on (especially the L.A. specific references). The protagonist, Elliot, is flawed but likable. His references to money feel a little gauche, but I guess that's how the character initially measures his worth. Nothing earth-shattering, but entertaining nonetheless.

This book is not the kind of story I gravitate towards at all - I don't typically enjoy books heavy on the dating scene or Hollywood (especially modern-day Hollywood). But I decided to give this a shot because it has great disability representation, which I am trying to read more of. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. The story wasn't my cup of tea (totally a personal preference), but the humor in this book is exactly my kind and it made me laugh out loud several times.

I ended up loving this book, finding the writing very moving. At first I was uncertain because it is extremely explicit in the early to mid-parts of the book and I had to move through some of these passages a little quicker. It reads so much like a memoir about a gay TV writer with Cerebral Palsy (just like the author) but realized it is just a novel. In any case, I was rooting for him at the end as he navigates the world to find his way in an ableist world and find true love. The way he describes living in his body is beautifully written and there is plenty of humor in this book as well as poignant moments. I enjoyed the moments with his father in particular. I recommend this book.

Thanks to Netgalley and ATRIA for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Just by Looking at him follows Elliot, a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy, as he starts to cheat on his long-term boyfriend with a sex worker and has to cope with the consequences, mentally and in his relationship. It has a perfect balance of humor & insight, I’d recommend to everyone who loves an unhinged main character. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!

Pop culture references galore! A writing voice that seems extremely online! Self-deprecating humor! All pluses for this book for sure. Otherwise, it left me a bit cold and wanting more. Clearly a work of auto fiction that is so bare it's often hard to look at straight on.

thank you so much for this arc!!!! i had seen it everywhere and really wanted to read it. the story was funny, cute, touching!!! it was everything. a great summer read that i recommend to everyone.

I loved the honesty of this. It sets out to do one thing, and does that one thing well, and doesn't pretend to be anything else. Elliot is frustrating, he's a lot, but his journey to self-love and a deeper understanding of himself and what we wants is so heartfelt. There's so much great writing about sex and disability here, too.

My journey with this book started with Ryan on Las Culturistas, then I watched Special and then I read the book. I loved it, only makes sense a TV writer can write dialogue so well. And honestly the first book I can think of where I thoroughly enjoyed pop culture and social media references. I enjoy Ryan's voice and can't wait to read/watch what he does next.

I would first like to say that this is definitely going to be in my “best books that I’ve read” at the end of the year!

I was most surprised by the humor. The novel is genuinely funny. And the writing style is fast paced and quick witted! Bonus, the chapters are short!

In the novel we follow Elliott who is a television writer as he navigates his relationship’s and how they are affected by his cerebral palsy. I loved the discussion of making new friends in your 30’s. And the longing to be comfortable in your own body.

My favorite parts of the novel were Elliott’s relationship with his father. Which were heartwarming and some of the funniest moments! And the opposing relationship’s of Gus and Jonas. I really loved seeing the differences in Elliott’s behavior and mindset with Jonas later in the novel.

•”When will I stop needing them to touch me? When will I stop feeling my hole to fell whole?”

•”It was a privilege to be loved by him, though. I really do believe that. I used to believe it was a privilege to be loved by anybody. Not anymore.”

The cover is great and that's why I would purchase it in the store! The content just wasn't what I was expecting but I'm sure others would love this so I would recommend it to specific people.

As a fan of the author's TV work, I was very excited to see his prose—and this didn't disappoint! Funny, witty, fresh, this was a fast and candid read, and I found the ending quite moving. Loved Elliot's sense of humor and view on the world around him, as well as the frank exploration of sex and disability. A really good summer read!

What a pleasant surprise this book was. Just by Looking at Him was definitely a book out of my comfort zone, but I'm glad I read it. The book reads like a diary and presents a very raw and honest account of what it's like to be a gay, disabled man in LA. Elliott's dry, sarcastic humor was funny most of the time, but also got to be a bit irritating. While the beginning intrigued me, and the end hooked me, the middle of the book felt a bit slow, and I started to lose interest around 40% of the way through, hence my three-star rating. Elliott's exploration of the different relationships he has with alcohol, his boyfriend and his body were extremely important and very well-crafted.
I loved witnessing Elliott's relationships grow with the different people in his life, but especially with his dad, Ethan, and most importantly, Jonas. Overall, I really enjoyed watching Elliott grow as a person throughout the book, and especially at the end with his relationship with Jonas, and the love he acquired for his body and himself in the process. Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a witty and moving story about the underrepresented identities in writing.

favorite quotes:
"You could love someone and want to lose them at the same time."
"Why would I settle for a watered-down relationship when I once had everything?"

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this novel. I had a great time reading this book. Just by Looking at Him follows Elliott, a disabled gay man working as a writer on a garish television show, as he struggles to navigate relationships despite his self-sabotaging nature.

I was hooked from the first chapter. For a debut author, O'Connell's writing style is impressively natural; each chapter feels as if it was a story told to you by your best friend. It's witty in a way that uses a lot of familiar tropes of queer humor while still managing to feel fresh.

That being said, I think it suffers under the weight of all O'Connell is trying to say. It is clear that he has well-developed thoughts about LGBT issues, humanity, and the flaws of late stage capitalism, and though I agree with him about these issues, his method of conveying them in long, speechlike essays struck me as so unnatural I was pulled out of the story, especially when these tangents were unrelated to what was happening.

This is one of those books where you can’t help but to love it. The fact that I was able to read this in one sitting is definitely a compliment to this book in its self. But this has such a good message and I can’t wait to buy a physical copy for myself.