I watched the Netflix series Special as soon as it came out a couple of years ago and really loved it. So when I saw this book, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it! Ryan O'Connell had me hooked from the first line. The writing style is quick, hilarious and real. If not a bit blunt at times. (Although that definitely isn't a criticism coming from me.) Honestly, the fast pacing got me out of a huge reading slump and I'm super thankful for it. I loved seeing the main character go through his "self-discovery moment" and watch him navigate through the problems that come with addiction, relationships, disability, and modern day Hollywood. It was messy, complicated, and unique to anything I've read before.
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(huge thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for the ARC)

This book needs a warning about graphic descriptions of genitalia and sex. As a gay woman, the LAST thing I want to read is an in-depth description of a penis, especially in the very first paragraph of a book. I couldn't even make it past the first few paragraphs.

I watched Ryan O'Connell's show Special and enjoyed the writing and humor, so I like his writing, but I just cannot handle the overly descriptive nature of the content.

Ryan O'Connell has such a distinctive, humorous and unique voice, and reading from his perspective was a treat! This book is so /real/, and handles a few issues gracefully and entertainingly. From disability, to infidelity, to alcoholism, and how the three interact, I couldn't put this book down because it was so interesting and so well written. I also enjoyed how the author tries to get into the minds of people considered villainesque in the story, and shows the complicated nature of human relationships, specifically with the character of Ethan and how his relationship with the main character develops throughout the story. As somebody just beginning my foray into adult fiction, this book read as super unique to me, and I will definitely be recommending. One star taken off because the narrative structure sometimes read a bit strangely.

Just By Looking At Him by Ryan O'Connell was fantastic. First things first, this cover is beautiful and really captures the essesne of this book. Very rarely have we seen a queer novel that is so beautifully unapolgetically queer, while also being heart-warming, hilarious, and life affirming.

A funny, filthy debut novel from queer comedy writer Ryan O’Connell (who created & stars in the Netflix show Special). I fell deeply in love with this book, and I think I’m still in its spell.

Well, first I just wanna say that I think that cover is gorgeous and that it’s been a while since I read and adult fiction queer book. After reading this one I wonder why though.

This is Elliott’s story, a tv writer with cerebral palsy and how a life might see perfect but it’s not. The book revolves about how Elliott thinks he has everything but feels a void he needs fill in to keep going. So, he starts cheating on his boyfriend multiple times and realize that he has a drinking problem.

The book is about how the expectations one has of life feel accomplished, about how we all should not feel guilty about wanting more despite having a good life, about feeling stuck and stay there until you can't stand it any longer. It felt very honest and interesting, all that talk about adulthood and youth, about seize the day, about not feeling bad with ourselves just because we want more and most important, be ourselves.

Just By Looking at Him is unabashedly, unapologetically, aggressively gay, and I mean this in the best possible way. The suggestive book cover is gay. The campy vernacular is gay. The locations (bath house, the Eagle, gym, Starbucks) are gay. The quippy witticisms and constant pop culture references are gay. The graphic sex is definitely gay. And, the character problems are also uniquely gay.

Thirty-something Elliott has a conflicted relationship with his job as a TV writer; he loves TV and writing, but isn’t fulfilled by being part of a toxic work environment that creates unexceptional television programming. Elliott is also conflicted by his almost-six-year relationship with the doting (if enabling) Gus, with whom he drinks excessive amounts of wine nightly. Also, Elliot is isolated by his inability to be open with his partner or friends (and sometimes even himself) about his frustrations of living with cerebral palsy in an ableist society. Thank god for Elliot’s relationship with his gay-positive father, which may be Elliott’s healthiest (if boundary-lacking) relationship.

At the intersection of relationship woes, ableist microaggressions, personal insecurities, and work dissatisfaction, Elliott acts out in self-destructive and relationship-ruining ways.

Like most things in this novel, the plot is not straight (see what I did there?). The story meanders in many directions, leaving the reader discombobulated and unsure as to where exactly the story is heading. Some will find the lack of a concise narrative to be frustrating, while others may find the angsty Salinger-esque plot to be compelling. Few can deny that the intersectionality of physical disability and queerness in the context of a privileged cis white world provides a perspective that is often overlooked in popular media.

Just By Looking at Him is written by Ryan O’Connell, the creator/writer/lead of the Netflix television show Special. If you haven’t seen Special, I recommend you stop browsing book reviews and check it out now.

I was provided an advanced e-copy of the book from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Just By Looking At Him will be released on June 7, 2022.

I received a copy of this book from Net Galley; this has not influenced my review.
I often find myself reading too many heavy or depressing books. I tend to go in for that sort of thing but still, every now and then I need a palate cleanser before I go back to horror or non-fiction about disasters. That’s what initially drew me to this title, it seemed like something light and humorous.
And it was. But it was also incredibly honest and at times scathing and dark. With all the wit and humor of your favorite YouTube series and all the messiness of real life, this book strikes a delicate balance between humor, emotional honesty, and heavy topics like relationships, addiction, and living in a world not designed for you.
This was a delightful read from an author with a lot to say and a talent for wrapping razor sharp barbs of insight in clever one liners.

I struggled with reviewing this book, because I was really conflicted about it! I requested it initially on Netgalley because I liked the show 'Special', which is written by O'Connell. Plus, I don't think I have ever read a book with queer themes that features a main character with cerebral palsy. I figured I would give it a go and try to read it ... even after I read the description and found that a huge part of this story was the fact that the main character started seeing sex workers when he was still in a relationship.

Let me tell you something: I really, REALLY hate cheating as a plot point. It's gross and awful and makes me immediately hate the person doing it. I just roll my eyes at their excuses and justifications, and usually struggle through the rest of the book.

With this one, though - I finished it in 2 days! O'Connell's writing was insightful and hilarious, and Elliot doesn't shy away from the fact that he has made a bad choice. I didn't like how this book started, but really got into the story after only a few chapters. The cheating started the story, but didn't follow throughout the whole book. I don't think I would read this book again, but I wanted to know how everything ended, and I felt compelled to read more because of the insight Elliot (and O'Connell) gave in regards to disability, queer life, and self-worth.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Out June 7, 2022.

I’m not really sure how to rate this book for the most part I enjoyed it, and you can tell it was written in the voice of the author. At times I found the character unlikeable because of his inner monologue, but at the same time I understood where he was coming from. And it was an interesting look into how people can have internalized hatred for who they are. I would read it again and would recommend it to others.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC of this book. What follows is my honest review.
So I must admit I went into this book knowing I was going to love it and like I expected it did not disappoint. I've been a fan of Ryan O'Connell since I first stumbled upon his first book I'm Special in my local library. O'Connell's hilarious voice can be found on every page of this book. It reads as if he is narrating it aloud to you. Just By Looking at Him tells the story of Elliot a television writer with cerebral palsy who despite possessing all the markers of a successful LA life is unhappy. He's found himself making an obscene amount of money on a tv show he despises lorded over by a narcissistic boss who uses the writer's room as a workshop for his anxieties. If that wasn't stressful enough home life isn't much better. He and his perfect boyfriend with the perfect penis Gus have fallen into a rut of predictable domesticity and lackluster sex. Their perfect on paper relationship has grown stale but neither of them is willing to admit it. They instead have been cultivating an escalating case of joint alcoholism one bottle of expensive wine at a time. They drink themselves into a stupor every night where a glossy haze can almost make them believe they truly are happy. Just by looking at him is a hilarious and endearing novel from one of my favorite voices. O'Connell's unique ability to mix quippy pop-culture one-liners and raw vulnerability is unmatched. The book tears apart the assumptions we make about others and the lies we tell ourselves. Told from a rarely explored perspective in novels, Elliot is a disabled man of immense privilege and wealth. He doesn't exist to teach able-bodied people some great lesson or be inspirational fodder. Elliot is a messy and often problematic individual trying to find his place in a world that was not built for him. This book is an absolute gem that must find its way onto everyone's to-be-read list.

This is the story of Elliott, told in brutally honest first person POV. Elliott, a mid thirties man with cerebral palsy, writing for a wildly popular but inane TV show, living in LA with his long term boyfriend Gus. Elliott is going through life as a functional alcoholic, feeling enabled both as an alcoholic and a disabled man by Gus. In order to prove his autonomy and attractiveness to himself, he begins cheating on Gus with sex workers, not really understanding why he is doing it and not feeling guilty about it.

I enjoyed the writing in this book, vaguely reminiscent of Bret Easton Ellis but with more cohesive train of thought. Elliot's ramblings are imaginative and honest. He is surrounded by the uncaring beautiful people of LA and is struggling to feel like he is one of them while feeling invisible and unseen, held back by society, his disability, and his self perceived averageness.


It’s hard not to feel resentful. It’s hard not to feel angry that because of our convoluted ideas about disability I’m paying guys to positively rail me so I can feel good about myself for the next twenty-two minutes. When will I stop needing them to touch me? When will I stop filling my hole to feel whole?


Where this book really took a turn for me was the last 50 pages or so. I assume I was meant to feel glad that Elliott was becoming a better, more honest version of himself, and I was, but it all wrapped up too quickly and too easily.

REVIEW ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Just by Looking at Him by Ryan O’Connell is the story of Eliot, a man who seems be living the perfect life. He has a successful career as a TV writer and a loving boyfriend who dotes on him. But still Eliot find himself caught in a maelstrom of addictions to alcohol and sex workers. How did he lose control? Can he reclaim charge of his life, face his demons and find redemption before it is too late?⠀
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This is a thought provoking book that paints a portrait of a gay man with cerebral palsy desperately wanting to be viewed as a man rather than a disability. He uses alcohol and promiscuity as his means of coping and searching for validation. The author does a marvelous jobs of tackling the complex subject of ableism. We witness the protagonist through stages of self destruction, enlightenment and redemption but the narrative never loses its touching and humorous quality. There were points when then pace lagged and went off on tangents not pertinent to the plot, but I can say that Just by Looking at Him is well worth a read. ⠀

This book is very good. I especially liked reading about a disabled character created by a disabled author. Scathingly funny and unabashedly gay. A delight.

Thank you, Atria Books, for allowing me to read Just by Looking at Him early!

Firstly, I'd like to state that I love Ryan O'Connell and his tv show Special because it is definitely that, SPECIAL. So, when I discovered his debut fiction novel will be published I started jumping up and down and doing cartwheels because of my excitement. My elation was undoubtedly well-placed. This debut is intriguing and thrilling and important. Disability representation in books is rare enough, queer disability is even rarer. O'Connell engaged me from the very beginning and I couldn't stop inhaling his words as if they were the very oxygen I need to fill my lungs!