A lovely and funny exploration of the importance of letting yourself enjoy things that make you happy. Others may dismiss what you enjoy as a "waste of time", but it is not about them, it is about you.

In This Is Not a Book About Benedict Cumberbatch, Tabitha Carvan shares how her discovery of Benedict Cumberbatch helped her discover more about herself and what she wants out of life. Throughout the book, she shares humorous anecdotes and more serious ones about struggles with motherhood and identity. She also engages with scholars and other Benedict Cumberbatch fans and interviews them to find out more about what drew them to the fandom. We learn about fan fiction and consider social and gender norms as men are seldom asked to apologize or feel guilty about their hobbies and things they enjoy in their free time.

We do not get a deep exploration of any one topic, but enough to generate curiosity and question social norms around leisure time and interests and who gets to enjoy them with no qualms. Readers hopefully finish the book feeling assured (if they weren't already) that they can use their free time however they like, whether it is crushing on a celebrity, reading romance novels, standing in line for concert tickets, and so on.

Many thanks to Putnam Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC.

This hilarious, all-consuming and wise memoir is both completely not about Benedict Cumberbatch while simultaneously delving into Tabitha’s sudden fantastic, delirious, delicious obsession with him. Tabitha, an Australian Mon of two toddlers, has had the edges of herself completely blurred as motherhood overtakes her. She wonders at the overall ability of Dads to duck out of this all-out obsession, preserving time for play as well as self-identity as kids come along. Amidst this devolution of identity, Tabitha develops an over-the-top love as all things Benedict that consumes her waking imagination. Tabitha starts to realize that her unique celebrity love is shared by thousands of other middle age women, a diverse collective of dreamers known in the press as “Cumberbitches.”

As Tabitha interviews other women sharing this Cumberbatch obsession in an effort to overcome her own embarrassment and shame, she realizes that underlying all of this is the uniquely forgotten imaginative and playful lives of women as we “mature.” Drawing from works of experts in the field of celebrity crushes, women’s development (such as Passages), and as wide ranging as Jenny Offil’s novel Dept. of Speculation and the poetry of Mary Oliver. What emerges is insight both so sublime and brilliant that it literally has you catching your breath.

By the end, you’re giving Tabitha a standing ovation, hooting and hollering, and simply delighting in her University office desk that has been overrun with Cumberbatch photos and paraphernalia. You emerge with a far wiser and deeper understanding of the inner lives of women today, and challenge yourself about what you’re doing about your playful self.

This is a book that literally needs to be read by every woman, and as a start I’m giving it out upon publication to all my women friends as well as my daughter.

GO YOU TABITHA! And thanks for sweeping the rest of us along with you.

Thanks to NetGalley as well as Putnam for an advanced reader’s copy of this book.

I can't pinpoint what it is about this book did not work for me but to be totally honest it was most of it.
Something about the voice of the writing just did not click for me. Thankfully upon scrolling through some goodreads reviews I seem to be alone in my disconnect. Maybe it's just because Benedict Cumberbatch has never captured my heart? I was hoping I could still get behind the sentiment of the book because celebrity crushes/obsessions are what I live for.

I've done my fair share of fangirling over a variety of things across the years, not all of which I'm super proud of, lol. (I would like to blame junior high and everything that encompasses for a more regrettable one in particular.) So this book was all too relatable on a lot of fronts.

At times, I felt the author overshared to the point of "I did not need to know that." The read has its crude moments, to be sure, which make this a likely "one and done" read for me.

Is it humorous? Absolutely. Carvan writes well, and engages the reader from page 1! Is it relatable? As mentioned, yes. Absolutely. I still (well, covid aside) attend comic-cons, and cosplay, and have my absolute passions--and I appreciate how Carvan argues that we should, especially as women. Things to get excited about should not be limited to one gender! (And I entirely fangirled over getting invited to read Bonnie Wright's book _Go Gently_, and incorporated that into my review, haha.) That aspect of the book really resonated with me. As with anything, though, "too much of a good thing is still too much." And this got to be over the top for me by the end.

I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

This book inspired me to finally order that ALA Reads poster with Channing Tatum & hang it in my office at work. 10/10 stars, I'm absolutely gifting this book to all my fangirl friends.

I think anyone who's been a part of a fandom or fangirled over something will appreciate this book! Thank you, NetGalley, for the free ARC.

This is everything I needed and I didn't even know it. This book has changed my life. Reading it has made me see the intrinsic value of seeking out joy in my everyday life. It sounds so simple, but by leaning into that joy I can be uniquely and unashamedly myself. It also made me realize with a jolt how we have been taught to dismiss women and girl's interests and passions, and the terrible price we all pay for that. I'm so ready to embrace all my fangirl passions and not be afraid to let everyone know it.

Everyone sit down because the fangirls have ENTERED THE CHAT, and I am here for it. This book felt like a warm embrace from one superfan to another--a tender ode to loving something unabashedly and with your whole entire heart. Anyone who's ever late-night googled photos of their favorite celebrity on vacation (c'mon, I think we've ALL googled Shawn Mendes at the beach at least once), will feel seen by this book. The author does a beautiful, sometimes funny, always sweet job describing her experience as a Cumberbatch mega fan and the impact this obsession has had on her life. I loved how liberating this book felt, it made me want to jump up and down and grab everyone by the shoulders to yell IT'S OKAY TO LOVE! YOUR! THING! Basically, a must-read for anyone I've ever sat in 10-hour long concert queues with just to catch a glimpse at Harry Styles. This one's for you, girlies.

This is NOT a book about Benedict Cumberbatch. Carvan doesn’t outright say it until the very latest line: “This is a book about joy.”

The example from the author’s life is her celebrity crush and fascination/obsession with the Sherlock heartthrob (FYI I fully subscribe to this fandom). But what she is really examining is the fact that adults, and women especially, are often discouraged from engaging in something that is purely about bringing them joy.

I really enjoyed the deep dive on the negative connotation around “fangirls” and the examples from Carvan’s youth and the similarities she is seeing in her own young children.

The biggest thing that stuck with me is the quote she pulled from Anne Helen Petersen: “skincare routines, pedicures, sweet treats, elaborate vacations, even massages-none of it feels as good as actually figuring out something you like to do, and then doing it l as if no one was watching, and no one ever will, and it will never, ever find a place on your resumé."

Thank you NetGalley and Penguin for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This Is Not A Book about Benedict Cumberbatch ⭐️⭐️⭐️

As the title says, this is not a book about Benedict Cumberbatch – it’s a book about so much more. It’s equal parts memoir, essay collection, and interviews, and offers an interesting look at what it means to have passions and interests at any phase of life.

THIS IS NOT A BOOK ABOUT BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH is an exploration of the author’s sudden interest in the actor Benedict Cumberbatch and her journey to figure out why this happened and what it says about her as a person. I wasn’t obsessed with this book – the format and tone often left me wanting more, but I really loved the messages it sent and will be thinking about it for a long time.

It’s always felt like there’s a lot of societal pressure for women to abandon their interests and identity as they take on new roles and challenges in life, including careers, a relationship, or parenthood. But this book challenges that belief, arguing that it’s important – and healthy – to retain passions throughout your life, whether that be running a marathon, cheering on your favorite sports team, or seeing your favorite musical act in cities across the world.

Don’t let the three star rating fool you, I’d definitely recommend this book to everyone. It was a quick, interesting and thought-provoking read that will definitely spark conversations.

When was the last time you loved something like your life depended on it?

🤩 REVIEW: THIS IS NOT A BOOK ABOUT BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH 🤩

By Tabitha Carvan

📖 SUMMARY: After motherhood makes her feel she’s lost her personal identity, an all-consuming love for Benedict Cumberbatch takes Tabitha Carvan by surprise, and she’s ashamed. This book explores the perceived difference between women’s and men’s passions, and why we see one as more valid or valuable than the other; how becoming a mother rewires the brain to completely drop any non-maternal interests; and the topic of “obsession” in modern society. Carvan looks to fellow “Cumberbitches,” scientists/scholars, fanfiction writers, and others to help her understand that having a passion again, after years of passion lying dormant, is something to accept and embrace proudly.

💭 THOUGHTS: This is the most enjoyable nonfiction I’ve ever read. Her writing style is educational and incredibly entertaining. Carvan doesn’t just talk about herself — she talked to subject matter experts about obsession, the idea of play, gender inequality regarding free time and hobbies, and even fanfiction. I’m not a mother, but I can relate to leaving behind “obsessions” out of the need to be seen as mature. This book made me feel validated for who I was at 12-14 years old, and sad because I wish I could hug her. Loving something like your life depends on it, you say? Let me give you a list of some of my past enthusiastic obsessions, things for which I 100% had dedicated photo albums on my iPod touch: High School Musical & subsequently, Zac Efron; One Direction; The Hunger Games books/movies; The Maximum Ride series; and Sebastian from Glee. Anyone who knows me can tell you I’m a very enthusiastic person. When I like something, I LOVE it. That’s why my Goodreads is full of more five-star reviews than most people. But now, the only things that have dedicated photo albums on my phone are books and my cat. I saw this as a normal part of growing up, but after reading this book, I think I might release my inner fangirl. 😈

Thank you to @netgalley and @putnambooks for the ARC. This one comes out on May 31.

🥰 YOU’LL ENJOY IF: you’ve ever had an obsession that took hold of your soul… I’m looking at you, ACOTAR girlies

I'm not sure what I expected, but this really is a book about Benedict Cumberbatch... and just saying that simply is an understatement it's a whole BOOK about fandom obsession with his cheekbones and career. It was enjoyable in some parts but some parts made me feel like I was reading a teenager's diary about her celebrity crush and it was dragged out A LOT. Only giving three stars because it got tiring at some point.

This book has so many laugh-out-loud parts that I just couldn’t help sharing with my husband and my bff: “listen to this!” But besides that, I found it very interesting and relatable. It made me feel better about my younger self and her passions, and reminds me that joy can be found in all sorts of ways. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A really fun book about an unexpected obsession with that otter of a man. It was surprisingly academic but it flowed well. I liked her reflections on motherhood. I liked her thoughts on how fandom isn’t as socially acceptable as other more “industrious” hobbies like knitting. I do think that is rapidly changing though1

Wow! This book was so fascinating. A very interesting memoir told with many details about Benedict Cumberbatch while being very much not about him at all. About finding the joy and passions we have had in our pasts and can find in our present unencumbered by societal shame.

Wonderful premise and thoughtful discussion on fandom and why it is seen as an immature hobby, particularly when AFAB people engage in it. It made me feel better about engaging in fandom, which is something I've felt unreasonably ashamed of once I got into my twenties—like now that I'm a full adult it's not productive enough? As the author shows so well in this book, there's no reason to be ashamed of something harmless that makes you happy and fulfills you in some way. Also enjoyed all the interviews from people of all ages who are involved in the BBC Sherlock fandom.

Carvan's voice is clear and unique throughout this book, making me laugh out loud more than once. Her personal takes on motherhood and having a career were poignant, and her interviews with other folks were compellingly described and interesting to read.

This ISN’T a book about Benedict Cumberbatch in the way that it totally IS, but at the same time MORE than that. This is a book about fandom through the lens of Benedict Cumberbatch. Fandom is a beast of a thing, and this book completely resonates with me. This is a love letter to all the things that make fandom a beautiful thing to be a part of: fanfiction, putting celebrity pictures on the wall of your office, watching an actor’s entire filmography, talking about them constantly. It’s not a sociological review of fandom and how it works, but more of a book to make you feel less alone and bizarre over your chosen obsession. This book is a funny, heartwarming look about allowing yourself to feel joy from unlikely places.

This book was hilarious, but incredibly genuine at the same time. I loved Carvan's writing style and her deep look at the relationship between fandom and gender and enthusiasm.

What I loved about this book: The author’s impassioned insistence that people, specifically women, especially mothers, should have passions and hobbies and interests that fill their imaginations and make their lives more colorful and interesting. This is such an important point and I love that she is leading this parade!

What was a miss for me: The subject of her particular passion/hobby/interest. I don’t share this type of fandom, and I think I would have enjoyed the books more if this felt more live for me in a personal way (I can tell from other reviews that this REALLY resonated with some people, which is awesome..)

So if you are someone who has ever become highly invested in a celebrity, to the point where you feel like you know them more than anyone you actually know, you are going to love this book.

And even if that does not describe you, consider reading it for the ways it might inspire you to invest more courageously in your own passions & hobbies.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing a copy of this book.