Being someone with anxiety with the fear of failure or not being good enough (perfectionism) this book was very well suited for me. The book is written by two clinical psychologists who share strategies to overcome challenges of anxiety coupled with always trying to be the best. One section I really liked included strategies to battle negative self-talk. That is something that I have always struggled with and it has effected my confidence levels. These strategies are a good start to battling the 'unseen' struggles caused by anxiety.

This was a great read! Thank you for the opportunity. It was full of knowledge-driven suggestions for not being so hard on ourselves and coping through perfectionist tendencies.

I have read quite a few anxiety self help books recently as it is one of the main issue people present to therapy with. I often get asked about books to read outside of therapy to help refresh some of the skills we've talked about. This particular book focuses on “acceptance and commitment therapy” (ACT) as a treatment for anxiety driven by the need to be perfect. This is a book I would recommend to someone with this presenting issue.

This book isn't going to help cure your anxiety but as a tool to help you remember/refresh skills its a great resource. It is a great length, long enough to cover a lot but not too long to bore you.

I received an arc of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Incredibly insightful and gave me new perspectives and ways of thinking about things that I hadn't considered before. Useful strategies and ideas as well. All around a very useful book.

If you relate to the idea of an anxious perfectionist, then you’ll probably find some helpful information in this book. It’s worth noting that at the outset, the book frames perfectionistic tendencies as playing a “game” of sorts, and for me personally I found that comparison and terminology troublesome, so I wanted to put a warning about that here if anyone else feels similarly. I’d recommend reading a preview if you’re considering the book, just to make sure the tone works for you. That being said, the substance of the book has some helpful nuggets throughout and the way it breaks down problematic thought patterns was really eye-opening.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

"The Anxious Perfectionist", by Clarissa Ong and Michael Twohig, caught my attention with just the title! As someone who would self-identify as an anxious perfectionist, I knew this book would be very helpful for me. Also, seeing a rise in anxiety and perfectionism in my students, I knew I could use the information in this book to help them as well. The authors do an excellent job of explaining the most common roots of perfectionism. I also appreciated the chapter explaining the difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism, as the two are very different. Finally, I enjoyed the authors' encouragement to focus on the process and not the outcome.

I thought this book was very helpful and easy to read. I would recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with anxiety and perfectionism. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

The title, "The Anxious Perfectionist" caught my attention because I already knew it would relate to me. I definitely am a perfectionist and have anxiety. My anxiety rises when my perfectionism is going wild. There is so much information and tips and strategies to help with acknowledging perfectionism and ways to let go. Very inspirational. Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for an ARC.

“The Anxious Perfectionist: How to Manage Perfectionism-Driven Anxiety Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy” hits close to home. This is a topic that I can relate to. I would’ve preferred if I had the physical copy over the ebook version. I highlighted a lot of it. It’s probably better to ask what I didn’t highlight from the book. I read through without doing any of the activities. Still, I want to reread and try the exercises when I have a chance.

4.5 Stars

This book peaked my interest because I thought it may help me as a small business owner who is a perfectionist. I knew my perfectionist tendencies were hurting my business in some ways, and I wanted some insight on how to help with that. The Book has questions it asks you to consider, and you’re supposed to write your thoughts down in a journal. The goal of these exercises is to see how being a perfectionist is either hurting or helping you. This book goes through so many different scenarios I didn’t know made me a perfectionist, and it was eye opening. There are many things I do that I didn’t realize were a part of me being a perfectionist; so many aspects of my thoughts and actions in daily living that were stemming from being a perfectionist. I was in shock after reading this book, but the good thing is that it gave me some perspective for why I think or behave the way I do. It gave me a new way to look at my actions, and I have already started being mindful of my actions and reactions throughout the day, in an effort to correct my perfectionist tendencies. I thought being a perfectionist was a good thing; it was something I prided myself on, something I always made sure I included on my resume and mentioned in job interviews, but now I’m learning it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and affects me deeply on a personal level.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thank you New Harbinger Publications, Inc. and NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book!

Oh the title of this book absolutely captured my attention, The Anxious Perfectionist, a statement that perfectly describes me.
The book provides a lot of insight into how perfectionism functions and provides meaningful strategies to help deal with it. The writing is very accessible and easy to follow, this is definitely a book that I will return to and read sections again.
The tone of the book was really helpful, sometimes self help books can focus too much on negatives, but this book hit the right tone in talking about issues relating to perfectionism and gave helpful ways of making meaningful changes to your life.

Brilliant book; I'm an anxious perfectionist and this book has been an enlightening and helpful read. Its really helped me to understand the CBT techniques and things I've constantly been working on, it's informative but an easy read and very digestible. I've loved having an ARC and think I will be buying my own copy upon publication, it'll be a helpful one to dip in and out of.

This was such a well-written book. At 152 pages, it was long enough that it got in-depth and explained things well, but not so long that it dragged on. It was well written in an easy-to-understand dialogue, without a needed psychology background. Anyone could easily read this book and likely gain something from it. I loved that this book covered the background of what perfectionism is, acceptance and avoidance, and shifting focus. One of my favorite parts of the book was when it discussed self-kindness and self-care, something I definitely need to work on!

The Anxious Perfectionist by Clarissa W. Ong and Michael P. Twohig uses an acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) approach to help readers who struggle with perfectionism. I’m a big fan of ACT, and I think it makes a great approach for perfectionism.

The book begins by exploring what perfectionism is, including the differences between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. While adaptive perfectionism involves pushing oneself in order to gain rewards and finding meaning in the process, maladaptive perfectionism is about self-criticism, rigid adherence to rules/expectations/standards, and focusing on outcomes, with mistakes or failures being used to determine self-worth.

The authors explain that no matter how smart you are, you can’t problem-solve your way out of thoughts and function. Rather than trying to use logic or seeking coherence (trying to come up with explanations for things), they suggest focusing on the functionality of different thoughts. Regardless of whether a thought is true or not, is it doing anything for you or helping you get where you want to be? If not, then it’s not particularly useful to focus on, even if it is true.

The book talks about acceptance as an alternative to avoidance, saying that emotional avoidance shrinks the space in which you live your life. The authors liken trying to avoid feelings as a human to trying to swim in the ocean without getting wet.

There’s a chapter on letting go of the self-labels you use and the self-stories you tell to go along with perfectionism’s rules and reasons. The book talks about how these can give rise to shoulds, and looks at how to differentiate between values and shoulds. Readers are encouraged to frame have to’s as actually being choices and then make those choices based on values rather than rules and threats.

There’s also a chapter on shifting focus from outcomes to process. Attention is described as a spotlight on your mind’s stage. Thoughts are presented as different actors vying for attention, and sometimes getting loud and obnoxious while they're at it. Trying to play director and force them into line doesn’t work, as you can’t control what they’re doing, but you can control what you shine the spotlight on. This theme of not being able to control your thoughts and emotions runs throughout the book; the focus is on what you do with those thoughts and emotions. That’s something I really like about ACT, and I think it makes a really good alternative for people who don’t like the cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach to trying to manage thoughts.

The book addresses self-compassion, and self-kindness is framed as a relative thing rather than an absolute based on your reasons for doing the behaviour. The authors explain that self-kindness in the context of perfectionism is often just allowing yourself to make mistakes, and they point out that “The very self-criticism for which self-kindness is an antidote keeps you from giving and receiving self-kindness.” They also suggest that you may be afraid of being nice to yourself out of fear of what might happen if you were to give up the “not good enough” narrative, which I thought was really insightful.

Goal-setting is discussed in the context of living the life you want to live, and the authors offer strategies to help with making behaviour changes. They suggest reframing your I’m too busy‘s as I’m not willing to make time to…

I thought this was a fantastic book. There’s no "just think positive" nonsense, and I liked how realistic the authors are about the limitations in what you can do to change what comes into your head. I also liked that they gave examples of their own perfectionistic tendencies. ACT is big on metaphors, and I thought the ones that the authors came up with were really effective. Overall, I was really impressed, and I highly recommend this book.


I received a reviewer copy from the publisher through Netgalley.

As someone who has struggled with both anxiety and perfectionism for my entire adult life, I am very appreciative of books that shine the light on these topics. I am strongly in favour of having books that normalize areas of life that many people struggle with and so I feel the author did a beautiful job with these topic areas. I love the descriptive nature of the first few chapters surrounding what it feels like to struggle with perfectionism and how this causes stress and anxiety for an individual. I further appreciated that the author offered concrete suggestions and tips on how to make life a little bit easier and reduce some of the struggles that people often feel when striving for the unrealistic expectation of perfect. Concepts such as mindfulness, self-care, being kind to yourself, being kind to others, setting boundaries and expectations are all within the realm of what is achievable for people. I would definitely recommend this self-help book and I’m grateful for the opportunity to have reviewed this eARC arc.

Thanks NetGalley for my arc. This is a great resource and one I'll return to again and again. It is full of great tips, ideas, and strategies to let go of perfectionism and anxiety. This one of the few books I’ve found that actually focus on these topics

Wow! I think I highlighted more of this book than not. I've been in therapy over a decade and have not been able to understand perfectionism as clearly and effectively as this book lays out. If perfectionism is ruining your life, this is the book to help you heal. Lots of journal work and repetition to drive the lessons home.

I enjoyed this! I’m definitely an anxious perfectionist so I really appreciated this book. It has some prompts and questions for you to answer as you’re reading along which I find to be very helpful with books like this. I highly recommend this to people that struggle with anxiety and/or perfectionism!

Thank you NetGalley & New Harbinger Publications, Inc., for an eARC of Perfectly Anxious!

I've suffered from anxiety ever since I was a little, and it's always been a struggle trying to balance anxiety with being a perfectionist. As I approach my 30s, it's something that I struggle with on a daily basis at work. This book provides helpful tips and tricks for me to get over my anxiety but also balance it with wanting everything to be perfect, which isn't realistic!

This is a fantastic resource and one I'll return to again and again. It is full of great tips, ideas, and strategies to let go of perfectionism and anxiety. I highly recommend this very helpful book. Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advanced copy of the book.

Many people can relate to perfectionism, as well as anxiety. I know I sure can! In some ways this book is like reading session notes. There's information here that can help readers make changes in their own lives, as well as info on practicing mindfulness and various coping strategies. This could be a beneficial book for anyone dealing with anxiety and perfectionism.