This book was everything I absolutely loved it so much it was such an amazing read I loved the characters so much the plot was so good and it just kept me hooked from the very first page I couldn't put it down!

DNF @ 35%

I try not to let my opinions of one book cloud my thoughts going into another, but after having suffered my way through Foz Meadow’s A Strang and Stubborn Endurance, the parallels were too strong to not be apprehensive. Both novels are m/m fantasy romance novels written by non-m/m writers, published by Tor imprints, with political intrigue, timid/cowardly nobility, and published within a month of each other. The comparisons are bound to happen. Frankly, if I’d read this one before Strange and Stubborn, its likely this one I would have masochistically forced my way through and the other been given the DNF. Because the same issues of romance in favor of any semblance of well-thought-through plot and low-effort worldbuilding are clearly showing.

As this is a DNF review, I’ll can only comment on the absurdity of plot points that have occurred so far. At the very start, we have our MC Kadou, cowardly (empathize heavily) prince of Arasht, who finds himself investigating a break-in the night his sister gives birth. The father and sister’s lover Siranos, an ambassador from another country, catches him, get’s angry, and physically marks him in front of witnesses, to absolutely no punishment whatsoever. Tensions rise until a hunt, where the Siranos gets too close to Kadou while chasing a deer, a fight breaks out and two bodyguards, kahyalar, end up dead.

Eventually, the sister, sultan and leader of this country, hears about this and decides that somehow Kadou is clearly responsible for a) the actions of her lover, who gets off with a slap on the wrist and continues to run around insulting Kadou at will and b) the actions of his kahyalar, who’s sole job is to protect their damn prince. This is about the first 5% of the book and already had me rolling my eyes in ridiculousness. And of course, no one, let alone the goddamn ruler of the country, seems to care about the break-in that may directly affect the secrets of trade that run the entire country.

While I won’t go into as heavy detail with the rest of the book, I’ll say that the rest of the events that I read through felt equally ridiculous in the lack of importance or care placed in them. Kadou and his new kahyalar Evemer get attacked by people in the alleyway 3v2! No mention is made of how well trained the attackers are to supposedly capable of overpowering the man who’s supposed to have spent his entire life training combat because his job is a fucking bodyguard. The guy in charge of investigating the break-in “mysteriously” decided there’s clearly no evidence, no trails to pursue to continue this investigation three days after the investigation and everyone more or less says ‘yeah, that checks out. If there’s an opposite to a ‘competence kink’, this book is that.

On the worldbuilding side, I wanted to touch on the role of the kahyalars are how handwave-y their positions seemed to be. At first, I thought they were just Rowland’s fantasy word for bodyguard, given the book’s marketing of bodyguard x prince. Then Evemer is suddenly shaving, dressing, and doing Kadou’s hair and it turns out kahyalar are specially trained bodyguards who can also play musical instruments, have familiarity with politics, and learn various other skills to better serve the ruling family of Arasht. Also they gossip a lot, a fact Rowland reminds the reader of over and over again. But around 33%, we learn that there’s actually thousands of kahyalar and they basically cover all the admin jobs in the country. Some of them are even stuck sorting through fucking flour in the palace. Which brings me back to my original question, of what the hell are kahyalar?

Finally, I don’t understand the popularity of Cowardley Men^TM that seem to be en vogue right now. What is the appeal of a character who can’t do anything for themselves?? Kadou, is, frankly put, a walking dumpster fire of a mess. The entire time I read, I had a burning question in the back of my mind of what the hell does Kadou actually do in this government? He’s supposedly the Duke of the Harbors and can requisition any boat he wants, but as far as I can tell, does no regular administration work. He’s good with economics and scholarship, but the most he does with his is tutor students in bars in exchange for drinks (also wtf). He does no regular paperwork, seemingly oversees nothing in particular, gets pushed around by literally anyone and everyone with the slightest forceful tone, and seems to have to hide behind the kahyalar captain for anything to actually happen. Evemer, what do you see in this man???

Overall, I rate this book a 2/5. The plot and worldbuilding felt like a poor first draft, with little care given to logical consistency, or just logic in general. The characters, ‘coward’ and ’emotionless stone wall’ had no appeal to me whatsoever. A shame because the cover is spectacular.

Note to self: beware of gorgeous covers

I’m so disappointed, I was expecting so much more and was given so little. I was promised a fantasy with gays and was given a not-quite-fantasy-with-economic-crisis-to-avoid with disaster-and-dull-gays.

The main problem I had with this book is that I found it extremely boring; the plot is basically non existent, and based on economics and finance of all things. I mean, I should have probably guessed it would be about that, it says “financial” in the blurb, but…I did not expect the main character to drunkenly talk about coins and economics for I don’t know how many pages, and I did not like that.

The already poor plot is further aggravated by the comically predictable antagonists and by events that are meant to advance it but that are scarce and that lack real value, inserted between even more boring events that should emotionally bring the main character and the love interest emotionally closer together.
The writing style didn’t really help, I found it to be too descriptive, too verbose, and we read more about the characters thinking, and talking about doing things, and about doing them carefully, and being safe while doing them blablabla… than about said things, and a slow and underwhelming pace inevitably ensues.

About the main characters…they were sadly outshined by some of the side characters, and I’m afraid that the real star of the book was really Tenzin. Who appears near the end of the book. For a few pages.
And yet she manages to have more personality than the main characters, who are faceless and inconsistent, and worse of all, have not an ounce of the chemistry you would expect two romantically involved people to have with each other.
I won’t even talk about the antagonists because they were just embarrassing. Apart for the fact that I empathized with one of them because of his confusion about the politics and culture of the main characters’ country, being he from another country. Me too buddy, me too.

The world building was very chaotic and confusing, especially all the name and info dumping in the first pages and the following lack of insight on it to better understand it, and that made it feel less like a fantasy and more like an alternate universe.

possible spoilers ahead!




There also were a few things that made me confused (apart from the economic rambling), like the kidnapping scene? We know that the prince’s room is guarded. By very trusted people. Then how do multiple thugs manage to enter his room and try to kidnap him? That scene was very confusing. Also, this might be an empty critique, but seeing how willing the “Aunts” from the temples are to provide free psychiatric sessions, why has Kadou never bothered to visit them? I’m sure they’d be happy to help him about his problem.

I received this eARC from NetGalley and this represents my honest opinion.

Yes. I really loved everything about this. The anxiety rep, the world-building, the characters, all the relationships: romantic, platonic, familial.

Finding out that this author came from fanfiction was completely unsurprising. If you read a lot of historical or bodyguard AUs, this book will feel very familiar.

What I liked:
- the depiction of Kadou's anxiety was super accurate. It was a huge part of his story, and it was really engaging.
- exes-to-friends and forced proximity rivals-to-lovers
- the side characters were super interesting

What I didn't like:
- the worldbuilding felt lazy. Literally just taken from the Ottoman Empire - there are clear equivalents of Greece and France that play a big role, and the magic (being able to sense counterfeit) isn't quite imaginative to make up for it
- the villain is pretty straightforward and easily defeated
- I liked Evemer, but Kadou was pretty annoying

I read the first chapter online a couple months ago and immediately knew I had to get my hands on the rest of the book as soon as I could. The themes of duty loyalty and responsibility shown in the first chapter, both to people in service to you and to family, hooked me completely. I love stories that explore what duty means and how one should handle it, especially when the author has thought deeply about the power dynamics, which Alexandria clearly did. The pace of the romance felt a bit quick for me, but then I'm picky about my romances.

I loved the culture and politics presented in the book (always a sucked for worldbuilding), especially the interplay of court and familial politics. The outsider consistently misunderstanding his place in those political games was a great authorial move as well.

A couple things I disliked - Kadou's panic disorder felt...rather unresolved? I'm not sure what I would have wanted from that story thread but I didn't feel satisfied with where it ended. The entire criminal conspiracy also felt a bit oddly brushed over at the end.

All in all, I liked the book! Watching the love interest warm to Kadou was both funny and endearing. And watching Kadou be terrifyingly capable and miserably fucked up in turns was also great. Will definitely read more from this author!

I was really excited for this book and I was a bit disappointed because this was one of my anticipated reads but I had a difficult time reading this book especially like how slow and confusing the book was in the beginning....

I was so disappointed with this one! I had been so excited to read this ever since I heard the premise. It sounded like there was everything I loved in a story in this book. Some of the things I really did like were the representation of queer characters and mental health specifically anxiety. But I just had a lot of trouble reading this.

Starting this book is very confusing and very difficult to follow. It feels like you were dropped in with the very little context. It starts off with Kadou going to hunt and a huge accident happens that results in him getting a new bodyguard. But there is very little explanation or description of what happens. I was unbelievably confused as to what was going on that warranted such a big reaction and why any of the stakes were so high from this. It just didn't make a ton of sense which really hindered my understanding of the story. He left me confused about what were these people's actual jobs, where were these places, and what any of them meant.
I also feel like there was an unbelievable amount of name and word-dropping. There are a lot of words that are just dropped in with no explanation or definition. It makes it very hard to understand who these characters are. Not only that but there were a lot of names and people mentioned with very few contacts for who they are in relation to anyone else.
Personally, I was just unbelievably disappointed with the execution as it sounded like there was a lot of potential in this plot and story.

TW: Severe panic attacks, kidnapping, violence

5/5 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
WOW! WOW! WOW!

I AM IN AWE!! Oh my goodness I’ve had to give myself a day to compose my thoughts about this book. I loved it so much I cannot even think about how to put it into words. Every character felt so real and their trials felt so personal.

GOD EVEMER AND KADOU UGHHHH UGHHHH!! KINGS!!! Their romance was one for the ages because hot damn. I couldn’t get enough from day one to the end. This is slow burn, enemies to lovers, like close proximity. Everything you could want and my god did it deliver. I am not one for slow burn or no I am not. However, this book made me love it. It felt like the perfectly timed slow burn romance. It was organic and subtle. I feel so fiercely protective over these two characters and I just want more and more about them.

Now, I cannot fail to mention the side characters because WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. No matter how much I wanted to squeeze the life out of Tadek at times he was such a good character. He made me have some doubts throughout the beginning but he stands true. I loved all of the details of these side characters and their personalities.

The world building and story telling were amazing! I felt like I was in this world and I could see these people and this scenery. I cannot wait for everyone to be able to read this! When this is released I need EVERYONE to go out and get a copy.

Thank you to Netgalley and Tor for providing me with a copy for a honest review!

The romance? 10/10. Tension??? 100/10. The angst!!!! 1000/10. THE UNDYING LOYALTY TO A POINT OF NEAR SELF-DESTRUCTION BECAUSE THEY CHERISH EACH OTHER SO MUCH? Breaks. The. Scales.

The characters are SO lovable. We have our anxiety-ridden prince who’s secretly a badass and our late-bloomer stoic bodyguard who’s internally a little high-strung. (Also the prince is the only one that can read the bodyguard’s emotions???) Yes PLEASE. Their romance is beyond-words-amazing. Genuinely one of the best romances I have EVER read. The way that other people love Delilah Green is the way I love this book.

The banter is just exquisite!! I found myself having to put the book down so often just because I couldn’t stop laughing. And I don't just mean a giggle here and there. I was full-belly laughing repeatedly throughout the book. The side characters are such a staple part of the story’s tone and often add so much lovely and well-earned humor. (Especially Tadek, who though he started the book off on a bad foot, became my favorite character by the end of it. He reminded me of Taako from TAZ or Tal from The Unspoken Name in his character type, and y'all know I always love those characters.)

When I first saw the tags listed above, I was most excited about the "kissing to avert suspicion” - and don’t get me wrong, it was everything I could’ve hoped for and more - but I was surprisingly taken in by the "oaths of fealty" and the “what we owe each other” conversations. These were fairly new tropes to me, but they really cut straight to my heart. Some of these moments had me in literal tears.

Quick little break from the rambling to air my grievances (aka the 3 reasons that this isn’t QUITE a five star read): :
1. Despite the fantasy world and the constant made-up words, the ruler of the land was called the “sultan” which gave me an ick, considering its a word specifically used for Arab countries. It made it feel bordering on appropriative and it just easily could’ve been a different word.
2. The political plot was mostly shit. I would say it was predictable, but that genuinely feels like an understatement. But the romance plot line was so good it kind of didn’t matter.
3. The ending felt cut just a little short. There was soooo much buildup and it left me hanging just a bit. Like things are resolved? But i would’ve killed for one more chapter or an epilogue. After the impeccably long slow-burn, it just felt a little too rushed.

Despite its flaws, this is certainly a book to love. The characters and their romance really just take center-stage and the rest of the plot just becomes a blur in comparison. And does a plot REALLY matter when you have a god-tier romance? I literally fell asleep last night just replaying my favorite scenes over and over again in my head.

If I haven’t convinced you yet, let me leave you with some quotes:

"If you have power over me here and now, it’s because I want you to have it. I’ll give that to you, and anything you ask for. I’ll give it gladly. Command it of me and it’s yours.”

"It was an exceptionally clear night, and the starlight was silvery on his dark hair, and the candlelight made his skin glow warm, and his eyes were bright and unafraid for the first time in days, and then he smiled like the sudden rise of the king-tide, and he was the most beautiful thing Evemer had seen in all his life, and probably the most beautiful thing he’d ever see.”

"How could he deserve this? How could he ever possibly hope to repay this kind of loyalty? He hadn’t earned this. He would never be good or strong or devoted enough to have earned this. This was beyond anything that Evemer would have expected from his liege—from any liege, even a perfect one from legend. It was too much.
“I’m not worth this,” he whispered.
“You’re worth it,” Kadou whispered back, simply.”

CW: violence, murder, mental health, panic attacks, death, injury detail, drugging, blood, sexual content, childbirth (mention)

Behold the cover. It’s a very good portrayal of the contents of the book. If you think very feels- and romance-heavy high fantasy court intrigue with a prince/bodyguard trope sounds good, you will enjoy! If you’re in it for the intrigue rather than the prince/bodyguard romance, I think you’ll be frustrated. So excellent work to the cover designer for truth in advertising!

I personally found the first third or so of the book a little rough going, because Kadou’s anxiety is SO overpowering and Evemer is really mean to him. The loyalty kink doesn’t kick in for a solid chunk. Once it’s there, though, it’s spot-on! I think fans of Everina Maxwell in particular are going to have a great time with this book.

Romance novels run on plot contrivinces. That’s ok. The main characters will meet-cute, they’ll be kept together by circumstance, and so on. In A Taste of Gold and Iron, Alexandra Rowland deploys some of the clichés of the genre to great effect—then does it again and again until I wanted to laugh, not swoon. Plot machinations—not the characters and their emotions—serve to provide the tension and push the novel along.
That’s frustrating, because in many other ways, Rowland does a great job characterizing outside genre conventions. Seeming cads are given redemption; hidden vulnerabilities are revealed. A Taste of Gold and Iron is a more mature love story than many of its peers. Rowland’s creativity is to their credit.
Unfortunately, the book suffers from the fantasy-romance plague: the plot is not very interesting. The secret villain’s identity is clear all along (less clear is whether this was intended as deliberate dramatic irony) and political drama takes a backseat to interpersonal drama. Characters rehashed the instigating incident of the novel at least five times and I was still confused about what happened.
Rowland’s writing glides over all this, and not in a good way. Passages are told in a montage style; often, the reader is informed just what Kadou and Evemer are thinking. They didn’t quite nail the third-person limited style, as the leads’ voices are often indistinguishable.
A Taste of Gold and Iron doesn’t reinvent the fantasy-romance wheel, but it’s an enjoyable and diverse entry in line with the genre’s flaws and strengths.

From the cover alone I had extremely high hopes for this book and what I hoped for was a fantasy MLM story that had a beautiful world, gripping politics and a main couple that I could fall in love with and that’s exactly what I got.

Set in the backdrop of a world inspired by the Ottoman Empire, A Taste of Gold and Iron follows Prince Kadou as he tried to earn back favour (after an incident that has disgraced him) by investigating a recent break in at the kingdom’s guild.

As part of his punishment the prince is given a new bodyguard, Evermer, who takes an instant disliking to the Kadou.

However, as the two continue their investigations - and deal with Kadou’s mischevious ex-lover, Tadek - their admiration for one another and eventual friendship grows deeper and begins to develop in ways that surprise them both.

Kadou and Evermer’s relationship was so lovely and believable and I really think this is down to the excellent character work throughout this book. Every main and side character felt fleshed out and layered in a way that made me excited to pick up and keep reading so that I could learn more about them.

I loved the characters so much, in fact, that the plot felt secondary to me. Of course the romance was stunning and I found myself rushing through the political plot at times so I could read more about the two MCs.

But that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the political element of this book, I do love a political fantasy and getting an understating of this world through the money forging plot was great and excellently paced alongside the main romance.

Overall I just loved this book from start to finish. The characterisation was excellent, the plot was interesting and soothing and the world building was great. I’d love more books set in this universe (a Tadek spinoff?!) and can’t wait for everyone else to experience it.

I couldn’t read this fast enough! This delicious slow burn romance between a delicate prince wracked with anxiety about his duty to serve and protect his people and his stoic bodyguard who begrudges the young prince for an early mistake is so much more than just a romance: It’s also a dynamic, well-designed new fantasy world and a compelling exploration of what it’s like to deal with a crippling anxiety disorder and what it’s like to overcome your mistakes and forge a new public reputation and self-image. I really enjoyed the world, it’s infrastructure and it’s palace intrigues and really hope the author is planning a sequel starring the female sultan of this rich country, Kadou’s sister Zehila. Although I found the character of Tadek a bit distracting and frustrating, I very much enjoyed and learned from the story’s other main characters, as well as its progressive and creative use of gender and power dynamics in this world.

Thanks to NetGalley for this free ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This one started out promising. A queer fantasy with hints of The Goblin Emperor? While I appreciated the representation of panic disorder and anxiety and mental health, story-wise I felt this just was too long and dragged on. I started losing interest around 60% in. The plot was also a tad predictable, and the villain in the story was no big surprise.

Am I still going to recommend that we carry this in our collection? Yes, because though it didn't appeal to me personally, I feel this is a good fantasy that people will relate to. The main characters (Kadou, Evemer) were well done, and didn't fit the usual character tropes you see. I think representation is important, especially topics such as anxiety and mental health.

‘A Taste of Gold and Iron’ was exactly what I want from fantasy. The romance is central to the story and the mystery/plot takes a slight back burner for the characters to blossom. The world-building and magic system were done very well, detailed enough to set the stage but not so much as to be constantly confusing. I really liked that. The overall plot and mystery were just interesting enough, especially with the metalworking magic and royal family drama.

The best part for me were the characters. Our main couple are Kadou, a shy prince determined to prove his loyalty, and Evemer, a standoffish newly appointed bodyguard. There was plenty of softness and sexiness. Their relationship is so satisfying but the background characters are just as strong. There’s a handful of other bodyguards and a captain of the guard that are just fantastic.

I particularly liked the way things like anxiety and depression were discussed. Kadou has boughts of “cowardice” (seemingly anxiety attacks) and the ways other characters responded to it, especially Evemer, were really well done. The emotional relationships in general really made the book. One of my favorite books of 2022!

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Tor/Forge for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

3.5 rounded up.

SO. MUCH. PINING.

The thing that carries this book is absolutely the mutual lusting from the main characters. The world building was great at the start but did fall off a little. As a friend said: the plot was insultingly simple to predict. I did really appreciate the politics and non western culture inspiration.

Rep: queernormative world, multiple gay male relationships, lots of non binary characters with alternative pronouns.

Thanks Netgalley for this ARC!

Five fabulous stars for this highly unexpected delight ! I don’t usually read MM romance and didn’t realise this was MM until I began reading but the gorgeous cover caught my eye as much as the synopsis .
This was a slow beginning and felt a bit clunky particularly when it came to the tragedy that leaves our Prince devastated and desperate to get back into his sister’s good graces . His new taciturn, driven bodyguard is everything his previous flirtatious one wasn’t but this oh so slow burn romance is absolutely charming with much needed character development and surprising moments of humour . I loved the supporting characters , the background plot with its slight touch of magic although the end felt abrupt . Also I wasn’t completely sold on the way the author tried to get across that it’s ok to identify as male , female or anything in between but the relationship rose above those niggles and I ended up absolutely loving this book
This voluntary take is of a copy I requested from Netgalley and my thoughts and comments are honest and I believe fair

ARC was given by NetGalley & Tordotcom in exchange for an honest review.

This review is being published before the release date (August 30th, 2022)

Content/Trigger Warnings: On page depictions of anxiety & panic attacks, depression, loss of loved ones, scene of physical & verbal abuse, graphic violence, depictions of blood, graphic injuries, attempted drugging, scene of kidnapping/abduction, on page racial slur (often used towards Muslims)



Oh boy, where do I even begin with this book, this review, and just… everything . This was not it, friends. I feel like the only person in the room who dislikes this book because every review I see is four or five stars, everyone raving of how amazing this book is. I feel like I’ve read an entirely different book and usually with my romance reads, I devour them in a day or so. Nope, nope, nope, big ole’ NOPE! That was not the case and at the end of reading this book, I feel disappointed and frustrated. So much happens and yet absolutely nothing happens! This book could have been everything, but it fell short for me, greatly.

After a a hunting trip gone horribly wrong, Kadou, the prince of Arasht, finds himself feeling lower than he’s ever felt in a long time. Feeling distant from his sister and in a sense, banished from court after this incident, Kadou takes on proving his loyalty to his sister by investigating a break-in at one of their guilds. What Kadou uncovers is much more than just a simple break-in. With his newly appointed body guard, Evemer, they’ll dig deeper into a thickening scheme and maybe even find themselves more drawn to each other than the originally thought.

I really loved a lot of the side characters. The side characters were fantastically done. A lot of these side characters stood out more than our mc and love interest. Kadou’s sister and sultan, Zeliha was a force that commanded attention every time she was in a scene and you could constantly feel the tug-o-war she was having with making certain decisions. Eozena was a really great character that stood out a lot, as well. Captain of the core guard and a close family friend to Kadou and Zeliha, Eozena was delightful to have in scenes. And the banter that would often take place was so good. And probably my favorite, Tenzin, who’s introduced way later in the book was a freaking riot. Tenzin is a truth telling witch and the funny moments she brings to the table was absolute bliss. I adored her so much especially when we get the scene with her and everyone walking back to the palace, pure gold moment! I wish we had been introduced to her far sooner than just getting a few pages with her around. And don’t even get me started on how wonderfully delightful Evemer’s mother was. She was a treat of a side character and definitely underrated!

“I’m getting paid as we speak,” she said with a grin, slouching down into her chair and crossing her arms. “I’m getting paid in chaos.”


The other thing I really loved about this book was the accurate portrayal of anxiety and panic attacks. We see these attacks from both Kadou’s perspective and we can see a lot of the outside perspective from Evemer. I really loved the duel perspectives in this case because you could see how things would begin to unfold within Kadou, but then in Evemer’s perspective we would see how those who are closest to Kadou would feel and see them go from not understanding the situation to doing whatever they can to help. It was really well done and the detail of these scenes was really set the tone so the reader could feel what these characters were experiencing.

However, these were the only redeemable qualities of this book I took notes on. And the more I sat on these notes and processed how this book left me feeling, there were so many problems. The issues from itty-bitty to big were stacked high and I couldn’t just overlook them. So I want to address them and hopefully prepare anyone who’s considering picking this book up.

The first thing I want to point out is something minor, but also a huge issue that had no place being used in this book. About 21% into this book, a racial slur is used that is very often used and offensive to Muslims. I really don’t care if the excuse is, “Oh, the MC was drunk, was trying to start a fight, and so they’re going to say these kind of things.” I really don’t care what excuse someone tries to use to justify this because it doesn’t take away the fact that this word is completely unnecessary and hurtful/harmful, but also the fact the author specifically chose this word despite there being plenty of other options instead. It was a lot cringe for me and it soured my reading mood pretty early on in the book.

“The knowledge that one wrong word spoken in fear to someone offering comfort could send shock waves through the whole, like ocean waves after an earthquake.”


My biggest issue with this book has to do with the writing and the duel perspectives. I’m really hoping in the final version of this book, these issues will be done a bit better or even more fleshed out. Usually, I don’t mind books that have two or more perspectives, but it bothers me immensely when the two perspectives blur together and it takes two to three pages before you realize you’re in a different perspective. Typically, perspectives are broken up into their own chapters, sometimes even labelled from who’s perspective you’re in. This is also done very often with books that flash between past and present. However, this is not the case in this book. One chapter holds both duel perspectives and are only broken up by dotted breaks. Sometimes it can take a couple of paragraphs to even a few pages before any distinction is made of who’s perspective you’re reading from. This at times ruined the reading experience for me because it was so hard to tell who’s point of view I was in. A lot of the time the perspective of Kadou and Evemer blended together because some of the time this blending of perspectives would happen in the same space and time as certain events were unfolding. It was really frustrating and it made it hard to enjoy the reading process.

Speaking of characters, this was another issue for me. If you noticed, I never mentioned anything I liked about our MC or the love interest. That’s due to not liking either of them, at all. I found no redeemable qualities for either of them. While I love the accurate portrayal of anxiety and panic attacks in Kadou, that doesn’t make up for everything else about him. Kadou was like watching a train wreck happen. With how much he boasts about all the education he received and how he was trained into being a weapon if necessary, we see those skills one time. Otherwise, we spend countless of moments of him scrambling, not thinking things through, and even causing scenes where he literally causes dangerous situations to unfold because he refuses to actually think and plan. Evemer, on the other hand, felt like a brick wall and it didn’t help that he spent 75%-80% of the book constantly trying to shut down his feelings, his emotions, kept his speech more on the professional side of things, and also spent probably 50%-60% of the book judging everyone except Zeliha. This made it really hard to connect with him or even feel any empathy towards. I did like he was a hard worker and dedicated to his job, but that’s all I really liked about him.

While I really don’t like ranting or complaining about books, since we’re already here, I might as well mention that the people behind everything is revealed pretty early on. Actually, they were revealed just slightly before the 50% mark and kind of killed the entire mystery that was behind the guild break-in. We also have an entire magic system that is never flushed out, we get glimpses of people who have special abilities, and that’s about it. We never see these abilities come into play in big scenes and if they do, the scenes are always very brief and we never really see the full extent of that kind of magic/abilities. Which the world building was even more hard to get behind because it often times felt like it was trying to do too much at once and felt confusing. With that being said, I think that played a huge part it why this book was such a slow read and why I skimmed sections because things felt very dragged out or even at times, an information dump zone.

“I don’t expect I’m going to stop wanting you.”


I also want to take a moment to address the romance in this book. I know a lot of readers say it’s a slow burn and yes, it’s a slow burn alright. The romance is so slow that nothing exciting or even romantical actually happens with Kadou and Evemer until the 70%-75% mark. Although, I wouldn’t even really classify this book as a slow burn romance or even a romance in general. You can’t take the last 30% of a book and call it a romance. For the majority of this book, there was no chemistry with either of these characters. And as I already mentioned with the characters, love and attraction was the furthest thing from both Evemer and Kadou’s minds until the 70-75 percentage way I just mentioned. It just wasn’t what I expected for a romance and for me personally, it was very lacking and at times the romance felt more lust driven than love driven.

Overall, as I mentioned in the beginning, so much happened yet nothing happened all at the same time. Honestly, I wish I could go back in time when I hit the 50% mark, convince myself to ‘dnf’ this book to save myself the trouble of reading this book like I was originally going to. This just wasn’t the book for me, but it really could have been everything and it just missed the mark horrendously. But hey, I read this book so you don’t have to! And if I’m being fully honest, I don’t recommend this book. I think there are other fantasy and romance books that are out there that have better established magic systems, have better slow burn romances than this one does, and don’t leave you with more questions than when you started.


The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

I love how so many things happened in the book. I could not keep myself from the book because it was so good