I read the original version of this book as an engaged girl, and after reading the new one, all I can say is WOW! I was struck right off on page 6 with the redemption of the purity culture mindset: “your goodness is not based on what you do with your body but what Jesus did with his”. Such a great “renewing of the mind”! But I also loved the “Pure, Holy, and Hot Marriage” chapter that helped me with a heart check on my priorities and the importance of yearning for God as much (more!) than yearning for amazing physical fulfillment. But perhaps my favorite chapter was the Becoming Best Friends, with ideas for nurturing my whole relationship and the reminder that just being too tired to have fun is a very real and legitimate concern (hello, three little kids!). All in all, this book has provided some great resources and perspective for me in strengthening and enriching my marriage, and I’m so excited to put it into practice! My husband is also excited to read the companion Good Guys book, and we are looking forward to seeing resulting growth in our relationship. Why not make “good” —> “awesome”?!

I highly respect Sheila Wray Gregoire’s decision to revise and expand The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She does such a great job of casting a holistic vision for intimacy as a couple, including tastefully done sexual education. Using research, the book walks through the stages of arousal and troubleshoots a variety of issues Christian couples might face, including the orgasm gap between men and women, pornography addiction, and past sexual abuse. The practical messages for growing intimacy are hope-fillled, and I also appreciate the recommendation to seek professional counseling when issues get too big. I think every married woman can learn something new, and it is a must read if you are engaged!

I originally starting reading the first version of this book around six years ago, but stopped partway through when I found some things that didn't sit right with me. Sheila's blogs and her book, The Great S*x Rescue, have played a huge part in helping me relearn what the Bible says about intimacy, so I was thrilled when I heard that she was rewriting The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x. I really respect that, as an author, Sheila is willing to admit that her previous work has the potential to harm women, and that she has gone through all the work and expense of almost completely rewriting this book (as well as taking some of her books out of production).

As someone who grew up in purity culture and was deeply impacted by the harmful teachings of that era, I really struggled for the first several years of my marriage. My parents never really had any sort of "the birds and the bees" talk with me (I finally asked my grandma when I was a teen), I was completely unaware that women could org*sm until I was in my twenties, and the only time s*x was ever mentioned was to say that it was wrong and don't-you-dare-do-it-until-you're-married. But, when intimacy is portrayed as something dirty, impure, and only for husbands, it's nearly impossible to mentally flip the switch on your wedding night, and suddenly see it as pure and part of God's design for a healthy emotional connection in marriage. As you can imagine, the things that my parents and the Christian relationship books I'd read had taught me about s*xuality and intimacy didn't set me up for success in this area--and research has shown that I'm not the only one.

This is why I'm immensely grateful for authors like Sheila Wray Gregoire. The updated version of The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x is the book I wish I had had before getting married. Sheila has rewritten this book to show women that intimacy and s*x were created by God as a beautiful sacred part of marriage--and it's not just for men. She uses practical to-the-point language to discuss how s*x works, and how our bodies were created for pleasure. She also has included graphs and results from a survey of 20,000 women to show how harmful teachings have impacted how we view s*x. I also enjoyed the anecdotes and examples she included throughout the book, without being coarse or jumping straight into the TMI category like many Christian relationship books tend to do.

The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x will change the way Christian women view intimacy and help create a healthy foundation for marriage. This is a book that needs to be in the hands of every young woman, and should be a must-read before marriage. This is the one that counsellors and pastors need to be recommending to engaged (and married) couples instead of Love & Respect, Sheet Music, and other harmful resources.

*I received a complimentary copy of The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x through the publisher and NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own. My positive review is not required.

Sheila Wray Gregoire has written a book that covers everything you need to know to get your sex life off to a great start in marriage, and she has done so in a way that is comfortable to read. It feels like Sheila is an older sister or a close friend who is giving helpful tips and advice. She is open, honest, caring, and straightforward.

The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex is a unique book. It has all the information a young bride needs, but it isn’t filled with explicit, dry, or overly-medical instructions. Sheila gives enough information that the wife will be prepared to explore sexual intimacy with her husband, but not so much information that it feels icky to read or that she will get bogged down while reading.

Sheila did an excellent job of pointing out potential red flags to wives. She lets the reader know when situations or symptoms aren’t right and when it is a good idea to see a counselor or a doctor.

I was pleased to notice that at one point when health issues were mentioned, the author did not tell the reader that sexual intimacy might not be possible. Instead, she mentioned other ways couples can be intimate. There wasn’t much information given about sex when there is an illness, but there was enough information given that the reader can begin to imagine how intimacy might be possible even with physical limitations.

There are two excellent appendices at the end of The Good Girls Guide. One is an appendix titled, “How to Have an Amazing Honeymoon,” and it is filled with good and practical advice. The other appendix contains discussion questions for engaged couples and for married couples. These are great questions to go through with your fiancé or husband after he reads the companion book, The Good Guys Guide to Great Sex.

The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex is the book that every engaged or newlywed woman needs! It will also be helpful for those who have been married for many years, but have never been given good and healthy instruction for sexual intimacy within marriage. This will be my go-to bridal shower gift. I recommend it!

This book is a great option for young people heading into marriage, as well as those still trying to "figure things out." I definitely recommend the Guy's Guide as a companion to it so both partners are on the same page. The evangelical world has given a lot of bad -I'd even venture harmful- advice on sex. This book is full of healthy, and yet sound Biblical advice. Some examples:
-In Ch 1 she discusses the definition of a "good girl." I know that title may turn some off, but by the Gregoires' definition, being a good girl (and I'm paraphrasing) is not about what you have done with your body, but about what Christ did with his. That concept in itself is very healing.
- Over and over the Gregoires stress communication. Being open in marriage to tell each other what you like and what you don't, what works and what doesn't. This is so important. One of my favorite quotes is in Ch 4 where Shelia writes, "If you put up with something you don't really like, your husband will probably do it for the next 20 years." Truth!
-Shelia addresses trauma, abuse, porn use, and consent and coercion in a fair and balanced way.
-Throughout the book Shelia inserts actual research with the numbers and charts to back it up. I love that we have numbers and research, not just opinions!
- The Honeymoon advice in the appendix should be read by all heading into marriage, especially if they are novices. I appreciate that it is not focused on specific techniques, but rather on taking the time to really KNOW and enjoy each other.
All in all I would recommend this pair of books, and int may well be my standard bridal shower book for the near future!

This was an encouraging read. It challenges the 90s/conservative christian view of obligation sex, and addresses the harm that can happen, not only for men, but specifically the harm it creates for women. I love that it encourages mutual pleasure for couples, and engages in open discourse to communicate clearly what a person desires to become aroused. I enjoy and share the broader definition of "sex" and "intercourse" in her writings.

This type of book is the kind of book I want my sons to read, so they will be well equipped humans in a relationship. Cannot recommend this author enough.

Highly recommend this book! Helped me thru a lot! As a Christian I was taught sex was bad and wrong. My mom made it feel like even when I’m married it was wrong! I know she didn’t intend to do that, but she did. They also never trusted me which mad matters worse! The only time my mom talked to me about sex was in 5th grade and that was it. So never got proper terminology or anything. Other Christian books I read made my views of men and sexy worse! This is a god send! And the healing part in this book is so good! If you love this book I highly suggest reading the great sex rescue! Please keep doing what you are doing!

While I will now be giving this to every engaged friend of mine, I'll also be recommending it to lots of married friends!

I'm so glad Sheila took the time to rework this book once she knew more information about women, particularly the orgasm gap and the significant number of wives with higher drives. There are helpful sections on vaginismus, a great honeymoon appendix, and many chapters that apply to already married couples (and not just newlyweds!).

Most importantly, she spends much more than a few tossed-off sentences on real intimacy—that is, physical, spiritual, and relational—with practical, open-ended tips in all areas. I can't recommend this book enough, and I look forward to reading The Good Guy's Guide with my husband soon.

This is the book every married woman needs. No longer are bachelorette parties the information Highway, unless of course this book is included. Anatomy, Birth Control, Communication, how aging is a lovely part of marriage and your life long commitment is the beginning of a lifetime of love. Sex may be physical in today’s society but it’s what every woman needs to survive life’s greatest challenges in a healthy marriage. Sheila’s stories are relatable, at the most trying times in life. Pregnancy, infants, toddlers, high schoolers, empty nesters, menopause. She’s got something in there to explain life at all of life’s greatest achievements. This book is for anyone thinking of marriage or in marriage from 0-99 years. This is not the typical self help book, if trauma, abuse is in your past Sheila is the first to say get help, and that right there is beautiful. It is the explanation nobody ever provided to get the ball rolling, to truly understand your body and every page is better than the last. Enjoy!

Finally! A book about sex that will actually be helpful for higher and lower drive women alike!

I read the first edition of Good Girl's Guide after I got married and was dealing with the disappointment of being a higher drive wife. In my desperate internet search for answers, I came across Sheila's blog, which was very helpful in assuaging the fear that I was the only woman whose healthy, faithful husband didn't want sex as often as I did. I picked up the first edition and found it leaps and bounds better than the other sex books I'd read before marriage. I understood how my female body responded to arousal and sexual stimulation much better. But, aside from the statistic that I was 1 in 4 or 5 higher drive wives, I didn't have a lot to help me cope with how rejected and unloved I felt. After all, my husband was still supposed to need sex and derive a sense of worth from sex in a way I didn't and couldn't really understand.

In this new edition, Sheila dedicates most of the book to sex itself: the physical, emotional, and spiritual components. Those discussions apply universally and are excellent.
When she does address libido differences, she first discusses the differences between responsive and spontaneous libido, and then takes an entire paragraph to address the spontaneous libido wives who are married to responsive libido husbands. Thank you! No other Christian sex and marriage resource that I've read acknowledges that couples like us CAN and DO exist when nothing nefarious is going on. Not only do I feel seen (thank you for not telling me that lower drive wives have it worse) but I also now have actual things I can work on to help ME be more content with our sex life and to seek companionship and validation through other means.

I also have a vision for life beyond kids and I know that sex will get better in the years after I'm done having babies. That's a long way away right now: I want a big family. But I can be patient with my husband and with the passage of time in our marriage.

I needed this book so badly as a newlywed, and I'm glad it's finally in the world. I'll be gifting this along with the companion Good Guy's Guide to every engaged couple I know for the rest of my life.