There is a lot of shame in grief. I have learned that in life. When my marriage broke up and I was in the throes of grieving that, there was little understand from those around me, and then when my Dad died 6 years ago, a different grief became my new normal and even more people walked away [a lot of those people are no longer in my life - grief also does that; chases people away] and I have to say I envied the author her bevvy of close friends that stayed close by her after her boyfriend's suicide - she realizes how lucky she is and I hope that readers get that as well - especially if they too have had support during a time of grief. Not everyone gets that support and eleven years in, being single again, the grief of that loss is still there and I have a lot of shame over that. Much like the author, I feel like if I had done something different, he would have stayed etc etc. Listening to the author tell her story and how she moves from hiding her shame to getting the help she so desperately needs to being able to live her life the best way she can, moved me to tears many times as I recognized my own feelings and confusion and the like in her life. While I didn't have a job or friends or a life like hers, I did [and do] have shame and totally understand that. Anyone who had dealt with grief will totally get this book. Some people act out and are impulsive and wild [like the author] and some hide away from the world [this is me] but we are all bound by the suffering from grief and the shame that those around us put on us because they don't really understand. It would be really great if we could move towards more acceptance of those living in grief and let them be and learn to not shame someone for feeling the loss so deeply.

This is a difficult book. There are mentions of suicide and self-harm and the after affects of both. This is a book about grief and shame and the after affects and ongoing effects of both. But it is also a book about learning to heal and the steps needed to move forward. It is a good read, but it is not for everyone. You need to have an open mind and heart and also you need to either have known deep shaming grief or are open to helping those who have; if you aren't either of these, this book is not for you.

I was lucky to receive an audiobook ARC of this book and I found listening to the author tell the story helpful - listening to her emotions that leaked through from time to time really helped me connect with her and the story and all that she had and still feels. I love how she realized that her grief for Richard will never go away and how she has become okay with that. That is all that we who have experienced deep, life-altering grief can hope for.

Thank you to NetGalley, Tiffany Philippou, Bookouture Audio/Thread, and Thread Books for providing the both the book and audiobook ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I am not a huge fan of the apparently popular belief that a non-fiction book is for education. I want to read for entertainment sometimes, sometimes to experience things I have never experienced in my life, and sometimes to understand things I hope to never encounter.

A lot of the reviews of this book say that they hoped there were “lessons” on grief that they could take away from this book. I am not saying that that’s a bad take, but it’s not a take I have. When I read this book, I was hopelessly upset for the author – we do make horrible decisions when under extreme duress. I know this. I felt this with the author even though our circumstances aren’t the same at all.

In some ways this book was too brutally honest, but if the author felt it, lived it, then so be it. We all live and react to things very differently, and that’s okay.

That said, I wish the editing had been slightly better in this book – there definitely is a bit of clunky work in here. I also wished there were a better narrator used – someone with a bit more professional experience.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for approving me for this arc

I really enjoyed this, the grieve and her struggled that she shared were so moving and I feel so lucky to have read this. Jr was really eye opening

This is not a book to read on a whim. You must prepare yourself to hear a vulnerable account of a young woman, who was forced to endure the most traumatic time of her life, when she learned of her boyfriend’s suicide.

Tiffany is raw when she admits that she did not possess the tools necessary to have healthy relationships with those in her life because she lacked the ability to articulate her emotions. As a result, she found herself making poor decision after poor decision just so she could keep her head above water.

It is safe to say that I had to pause my reading of this when I became overwhelmed or frustrated as Tiffany talked about her life choices. Yet, I completely understand that while her choices made no sense logically, she was merely trying to function in a world that no longer made sense.

It is easy for me to sit here and judge her when I have never been forced to endure what she has. I simply wanted better and more for her after hearing her story. While she does end on a happier note, I was left feeling that I needed more. I want her to have the happily ever after we hear about in fairytales. Sadly, as Tiffany’s story illustrates, life does not go as planned.

Thank you to NetGalley.com and Bookouture Audio for allowing me to read this in exchange for my honest feedback.

It was like listening to a car wreck. I don't wanna hear car wrecks. I feel like the author reading this was supposed to be very personal and heartbreaking, but instead, it was like an emotionless commercial for god knows what.
I couldn't focus for most of the time, but when I did I realized it is just a very sad story about self-destruction and how to maybe overcome it. Maybe if I read this instead of listening maybe I could describe it better.

Unfortunately, the book wasn't for me.

I kept listening hoping that we would come to the lessons learned, but we never got there. There was just one bad thing after another and I think the author did a poor job of demonstrating the lessons their grief taught them about life as indicated in the title.

I almost DNF'd it, but by then I was 60% through and committed to the time I'd already spent.

At the end, in the epilogue, the author mentions that the lesson her grief taught was to love and enjoy the people around you and I don't think that vibe/tone was demonstrated at all throughout the rest of the manuscript.

This story was incredibly exasperating because of the author's interesting life choices. Her story reveals how challenging it is to comprehend our own experiences and process our pain. While I did not find the story relatable, the author's vulnerability kept my interest throughout the length of the audiobook. Thank you, NetGalley for the ARC.

Despite having very little in common with Tiffany I found her story relatable. I do think the book could've benefitted from a professional narrator because at times the telling felt a bit stilted. It's a good reminder for people that Instagram is a lie and when people say they're fine, they're probably not.

To judge this book by it's cover and indeed blurb you would expect a memoir about grief, and dealing with the suicide of a loved one. After listening to Totally Fine it's clear it appears to be more a letter from the author to herself in some attempt to reduce her self-declared shame and guilt surrounding the suicide of her and many of her linked behaviours. I found this quite a tough one to warm to as Tiffany is quite honest and self deprecating and there doesn't seem to be a lot to take from this book. I do however hope that this book gave her the closure and freedom she appeared to be seeking.

This is a DNF for me - after a good third of the book, I did feel like this is an important perspective to share but the storytelling was clunky and brought me out of the narrative. I typically love when authors read their work and agree in this setting it is powerful for this author to literally tell her story, but some nervousness shined through and became a bit distracting. As a long-form memoir this didn't work for me, but if it had been edited to focus on different aspects as essays it may have felt like a more cohesive work.

It felt like I was reading this woman’s confessional, a pathetic attempt to make herself feel better about the horrible things she’s done and ways she’s treated people. What started off talking about grief and the loss of her boyfriend in college, turned into an egotistical reason for the author to talk about herself, her career and use her grief as a lame excuse to treat people like crap and behave recklessly. This entire book was so cringey.

This book tackles the difficult subjects of suicide and grief. The author lost her college boyfriend Richard by suicide. She found it difficult to come to terms with this, but decided to put her experience into a book to help other people who are trying to cope in a similar situation

I personally am struggling with grief , but to have the added dimension of suicide is unimaginable to me.The descriptions of grief I found a spot on and the stages of grief and guilt resounding to my experience.

As the author is a very young woman I feel the book may relate better to the younger reader. On saying that a lot of the events in the book could be of benefit to any age group. I felt the book was a little long which I struggled with but I appreciate the need to tell the complete story.

I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by the author herself. I found this added to the authenticity.

The book reinforces the fact that love and the people in your life are the most important. We should try to live with no regrets and value the people who are important to us.

Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to listen to this audiobook..

It felt like I was on a pogo stick reading this book. The premise was interesting and I just wanted to like it so much more than I did. Every time I really got into the book the author bounced us onto something else and it was rather jarring.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This is a nonfiction book about the author's struggle with grief and finding herself during her 20s. After her college boyfriend, Richard, dies by suicide, the author spirals and has difficulty connecting with others and deciding what she wants to do with her life. The author is admittedly a fan of Brene Brown and referenced various terms used in Brown's work, which I appreciated because it contributed to the feeling that this book was an honest endeavor to make sense of her own life.

While I initially thought that this book would be focused on the lessons that the author learned from her grief, it felt more like a book about how overbearing grief is. I didn't mind that because the author's reflection on this decade of her life was incredibly raw. At times I almost felt like I was a close personal friend to whom she confiding in about the most difficult period of her life. I really enjoyed her style of writing about such a difficult, complex topic. I also enjoyed the fact that more than simply being about grief, that the author included her struggle to find herself and cultivate relationships in the modern era. I do think that some of these issues felt somewhat disjointed from other parts of the book though.

Thank you to Bookouture Audio and Net Galley for the advance electronic copy of Totally Fine (And Other Lies I've Told Myself): What my decade in grief taught me about life in exchange for my honest review!

The opening chapters that focus on the huge problem of suicide in today's world are quite well-written, poignant, and interesting. I found it harder to enjoy and understand the purpose of the remainder of the book, which didn't really connect back to the opening much at all.

A memoir on the effects of grief and the self exhausting act of pretending to be okay for the sake of others. Insightful, honest and detailed.

I read the description and I thought it would be an interesting read about a lady grieving, I thought I could listen to it but I just couldn't, I'm sorry I cant give you a review on this. I'm sure is lovely but I just couldn't get through it.
I will give it 5 stars so it lets me continue.

I listened to this audiobook and I'm pleased I did as it was narrated by the author herself and I find that I always enjoy this more. In this book, Tiffany tells the tragic story of her boyfriend taking his own life whilst at university and the downward spiral her life takes following this event.

Tiffany's writing is so raw and vulnerable and I appreciate that it must have been incredibly difficult for her to write, particularly as she doesn't always paint herself in the best light.

I felt drawn to listening to her story, and I'm glad that I did. However, I think I had been expecting a little more than 'just' her personal story, whether it be tips on how to deal with grief or how to move forwards.

Re-reading the blurb - 'And that it is only by sharing our stories that we can give a voice to what is unspoken. A voice to the stories that we don’t want to tell. So whatever pain you’re holding on to, whatever story you’re scared to tell, I’m writing this for you' - I feel that she is sharing her story in order to deal with her grief and is suggesting that this is the way to move forwards.

My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me this ARC in return for an honest review.

Grief is a personal thing and a process to work through, can take months or never. I hope the author found some peace writing this book, her personal story. Not a great read unless you are young and connected to the scenarios and life style. Thank you #Netgalley for the audiobook to review.

The book discusses grief and how it shaped and effected the life of the author in her 20s. I also liked the fact as well as talking about relationships there was also discussion of the authors work life. I found myself learning new things I never knew about start ups at the same time.

The ending of the book was quite important for me as it didn't end with a perfect conclusion. There wasn't a list of these of the lesson I have learnt or this is what you should do. Rather the memoir ended a beautiful heartfelt message to her boyfriend who had taken his own life while they were at university.

Grief can be felt in many different ways and is so individual. This means this book isn't a guide for getting past your grief. Rather it aims to take away the stigma often surrounding grief.

I quite like that the author is also the narrator of this audio book as I found it gave more of a connection especially on such an emotional topic.

I would highly recommend this book