STRONG content warnings for body horror, gore, religious abuse, domestic abuse, and transphobia.
According to Jean-Paul Sartre, hell is other people. I’ve questioned this line of thought before, but it certainly proves true in Andrew Joseph White’s Hell Followed with Us.
We follow Benji, a trans boy running away from the doomsday cult he was raised in . Problem is, doomsday has already happened. A virus called “The Flood” was unleashed upon the world a few years ago by this very group, and the consequences were mind-boggling. Nine billion people died, and the ones that didn’t…aren’t really people anymore. (Another CW for body horror here). The Flood isn’t a run-of-the-mill illness. No, it rots your organs, makes you vomit them out, and kills you. If it doesn’t, you may become a Grace, a horrific amalgamation of body parts from multiple people, barely alive but conscious enough to have emotions. They roam the streets, or, in some cases, are used by the cult as attack dogs.
White is a very evocative writer, because I felt ill reading certain descriptions. A particular passage at the beginning really struck me: “A banner flutters high above me: GOD LOVES YOU. Corpses dangle from the wires, yellow-pink organs hanging from their stomachs to obscure their nakedness, like Adam and Eve ashamed of their bodies,”(White, loc 54). This isn’t a criticism, as it is a horror novel, but it’s something to keep in mind. It’s essentially two stories rolled into one: A post-apocalyptic hell, and a trans kid trying to survive an unaccepting world that surrounds him.
The book opens with a terror-inducing scene of Benji frantically escaping, mere moments after his father was shot in the face. He manages to escape the Angels, the death squads of the cult, and eventually gets taken in by a sympathetic group of young people. So who exactly is resisting this world of religious zealotry? Members of the local LGBTQ+ center, of course.
Benji’s new friends were in the center when the Flood hit, and they stayed. People of various religions, genders, and sexualities, all taking care of one another at the end of the world. It makes me tear up, honestly.
One of the best characters at the center, in my opinion, is Nick, a gay autistic boy. I was initially trepidatious, as there isn’t much good representation of autistic people, but my worries were quickly assuaged. Nick isn’t a supercomputer masquerading as a human, or someone to be infantilized. He’s just a kid, doing his best to be an adult. He makes and carries beaded lizards to stim, and occasionally has trouble speaking after a meltdown, something that I myself also experience. Even with people he trusts, it’s stated that “he finds himself trying not to be too autistic,”(White, loc 944). And…Nick is the love interest of the story. I cannot emphasize enough how rare that is in literature.
Of course, all isn’t sunshine and rainbows at the center. At its heart, it’s a bunch of scared kids and young adults forced to do horrific things to survive. And yet, there are moments of brightness, as we see Benji immediately accepted for the boy he is, making friends, and finally being allowed to wear what he wants.
This happiness can’t last long, though, because Benji is what the cult calls “Seraph”. As in, an angel who will cleanse the world with fire. In the book’s world, this means he’s been injected with a special strain of the virus, which will eventually cause him to…change. The virus is eating away at him, which only increases his feeling of being “other”.
I believe part of the reason bodies and monsters are so focused on in the story, besides the horror factor, is to demonstrate the trans experience. People trying to tell you how your body should be, what’s ok, what’s not, the feeling that there’s something wrong with you. It’s all painfully relatable.
Throughout the story, Benji occasionally mentions his fiancé, Theo, whom he adores. Part of this love seems to be due to the fact that Theo sees him as a boy. Benji’s devotion to Theo causes massive blind spots, though, which range from illogical to deadly. Theo is an abuser, and tried to strangle Benji before he left, but Benji can’t help but blame himself. It’s heartbreaking.
There’s so much to cover in this book, and I’ve barely scratched the surface. Ritual mutilation, group dynamics, Benji’s obsession with being good, death squads, monsters, and more. If you’re looking for a queer story by a queer author with gut-wrenching emotional twists and horrifying descriptions, Hell Followed with Us is for you.

Overall rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Thank you Netgalley for providing me with this e-arc!
(content warnings for the book; transphobia, horror, gore, religious abuse/trauma, body horror, abusive partner, abusive parents, victim self-blaming, violence as in; mass murder, murder, arson)

Hell Followed with Us follows Benji, a gay trans boy who is fleeing from the angels at the beginning of the story. It shows us his journey as he tries to become free from his past. Personally I think this book was pretty good, the story was interesting and there was a lot of diversity. But the book felt incredibly rushed to me, some ideas or people were introduced rather quickly, which made the book feel anti-climatic for me. I feel like if the book had been longer, or maybe a series, there could've been better development with the relationships between characters, or generally development for characters and plot.

While I adored this book, and it def had me hooked, I was slightly disappointed by how fast everything was going, it barely left any room for growth.

I did love the writing for this book, and I will consider rereading it in the future. Benji most certainly has my heart (:

rating; 3.75

This. Phew this book was heavy. Extremely heavy. Ease do yourself a favor and if you need tws and content warnings please look them up. This has ALOT! with that being said, I couldn't help but turn the page. This had my attention from the first couple chapters and didn't let up til the end. Worth the heavy stuff in my opinion.

Hell Followed With Us
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (6/5)
TW: violence, transphobia, domestic and religious abuse, self-injury, and attempted suicide
This book is a lot, it is very heavy, and you really need to pay attention to the TW. It is also incredibly good. It has some really well written body horror and the horror is fantastic overall. The plot is wonderful and incredibly well-written. The characters are fantastic. The “bad guys” are horrifically banal and truly terrifying. It is a fantastic commentary on the state of the world, a horrifyingly possible premonition, and a fantastic story of queer rage. It releases on June 7, 2022, and everyone should read it.

*Thank you to NetGallery and Peachtree Teen for the eARC of this book*

TW: Trasphobia, deadnaming, misgendering, violence and gore, body horror and blood, vomiting (graphic), religion and religious trauma, cults, brainwashing, physical and emotional abuse, suicide attempt and self harm

Please note: This review comes from a white, trans, non-binary, queer autistic person who was raised in an evangelical religion (since left) and suffers from religious trauma.

Ok, first THE COVER, the COVER baby. This is one of the most beautiful book covers I've seen in my lifetime and I need this framed -in my home- and tattooed on my face. Evangeline Gallagher has created a masterpiece that truely captures this book in every way. The mood, the religious style that captures the pure rebellion that Benji personifies. It's so good.

Reading the summery hooked me from the start. Trans rage? Yus. Religious rebellion? BIG yes. Autistic rep that's not only done well, but is the gay love interest? ALL MY WANT. But this summery promised a lot. Would it deliver on my very raised hopes?

Reader, it did (and I would marry if I could).

Andrew Joseph White did everything right by this book, and everything promised was given. It was raw, complicated, gory, traumatic, healing, affirming, queer, hostile, open, yet firm on its feet. This world is a wild dystopia, and yet felt so completely like an accurate biography from these strange 2020's. The characters were well done, well developed, and full of flaws, but also hopes, dreams and staunch morals and goals. They were real people. People I've known, people I've been or strive to be. Benji is me leaving the religion I was raised in, Nick is the me now, knowing who I am, but still learning to accomodate my autistic needs and reactions, and also trying to do whats right but flailing wildly while doing so.

I could honestly write a whole novel on how good this book is... but better for you to read the book yourself. It is worth it. Its existence is a beautiful love letter to all us queer, trans, traumatised and healing folks, and a bloody hellfire to those who seek to bring us down.

Thank you Netgalley for the e-ARC!

I loved the characters and the diversity in this book! Also the plot was really well written and real. This book talked about a lot of important topics which I enjoyed.

*I received an advanced copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*

TW: Graphic violence, body horror, transphobia, religious abuse, domestic abuse...please check the authors website for a full TW list.

In Hell Followed With Us we follow Benji, a 16 year old trans boy who has been raised by a religious extremist group. This group caused the Rapture, as they saw fit to, and decimated the world's population. Benji has been infected with a special bioweapon the group created.

Benji is rescued by a group of queer teens from the local Acheson LGBTQ+ center and quickly becomes friends with most of the group. His body is changing from the virus and he has vowed to control the monster and protect his friends at all costs.

This book was incredible! This book is angry, fed up with the world, and shows us the damage hate causes. We are shown how toxic it can be to just blindly believe without question. It shows how toxic relationships can be between people who do not accept you and want you to mold yourself to their standards.

Hell Followed With Us is definitely graphic in its depiction of violence and body horror. Some of the images conjured based on the descriptions made me think of creatures Guillermo Del Toro would dream up and I loved it. The novel is completely immersive whether you like to read as if you are the main character or as if you are watching a movie.

If you love queer representation like me or are a fan of Harrow the Ninth or if you are a fan of Chuck Palahniuk then give this book a try.

4.5 stars rounded up.

An angry primal scream of a book with beautiful, vivid writing.

In a post-apocalyptic world, a disease released by an evangelical Christian death cult has wiped out most of the world's population, and a trans boy named Benji is trying to escape the cult and his fate of being turned into a monster to be used as a further biological weapon. He joins a group of queer and trans teens living out of a former local LGBTQ+ centre and just trying to survive, lead by a autistic boy named Nick.

White does a great job of portraying the MCs, as a reader you really feel their pain and anger and confusion, and also their tiny moments of joy. (Though this is mostly a dark book, there is a few cute found family moments sprinkled throughout.)

Though I can't personally speak for the accuracy of the portrayal, as a reader I truly felt the experiences of the characters. For example, *mild spoilers* there's a scene where Benji is dead named and I - a cis woman who likes and uses my birth name - felt the punch to the chest whilst reading it. Similarly, White does a great job of showing how Benji's evangelical upbringing affects his thought process. There was also lots of little details throughout the book in regards to Nick's autism.

There is a wide array of queer and trans characters amongst the kids of the ALC (the former LGBTQ+ center where they are sheltering) and this means that various different identities and experiences are shown and explored, and also how people who share the same identity can have different experiences, and a brief touching-upon gate keeping in the LGBT+ community.

It was slightly difficult to keep track of everyone at the ALC at times. Partly because Benji - and therefore the reader - are introduced to a lot of people at once, and, just as when this happens in RL, it's hard to keep the names straight (ironic turn of phrase, I'm aware.) This did make it hard at times to connect/ care about some of the SCs, purely because I couldn't remember which one they were.

It's important to note there is a lot of body horror and gore in this book. Depending how squeamish you are, the strength of White's descriptions might make this a hard read for some. I will admit it actually made me gip a couple of times in places. It was on the edge of what I can cope with when reading on-page; I would most likely struggle to watch a screen adaption. However, I will admit to being a little bit squeamish and very much reading outside my comfort zone, so YMMV.

On a related note, this is definetely a book where I recommend checking the Content Warnings before reading/ purchasing. The author himself notes this in a beautifully written AN at the start of the book.

Overall though, this was an amazing emotive read that really let's you feel the anger and horror of its protagonists at the world and people who have hurt them.

I received a free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you Netgalley for goving me a copy of this book in exchange of an honest review.

CW: body horror, gore, death, transphobia (deadnaming and misgendering), violence, mentions of abuse, self injury,.. check authors website for more in depth trigger warnnings.

While the book is a post - acpocalyptic book it doesnt focus on it but instead on the people and how their lives change and just about them, Yes, there are multiple scenes that are violent and triggering and that can gross out people but the most important part of the book is the people.
The author shows a reality that its not that far from ours and that actually, i can totally see happening in a few years or even at any moment now. A cult of catholics deciding to use a bioweapon to control the world. Sounds dramatic but is it really??
Here we have children who are forced to be soldiers and test subjects and while this sounds like fiction we cant deny the fact that this happens in a lot of places in the world. It is a reality too.

Querness. The book showcased so many identities and queerness and the different dynamics that exist in the community. We have Trans folk, aromantic characters, f/f, m/m.. Groups of queer people exist. And every single person can be queer. It is not impossible or a lie as people say. The author decided to share the complicated and beautiful sides of queerness and i appreciated it so much.

Overall, i really enjoyed this novel. Remember to check the trigger warnings, the novel has dozens of it and it could really trigger someone.

Queer trans monster boy + religious trauma + body horror? Sign me up!

I devoured this book in less than 48 hours. There is so much to love here, from the worldbuilding to the vibrant and ragged group of queer teenagers who make up the supporting cast.

I had issues with the pacing and some of the POV changes. I also wanted there to be a larger time frame to the story, but that comes more from wanting to dive deeper into this story.

Personal quibbles aside, Andrew Joseph White carves language into new and glorious forms here and I'm tremendously excited to see what he writes next.

(3.5 stars, rounding up. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC!)

This book follows MC Benjamin, who is a trans young adult trying to find a way to survive in the dystopian world “the Angels” have created, long enough to grow up.

“In what world was my God ever a benevolent one?”

Can I just start with saying how beautifully gorgeous that cover is, and just how much I adored the authors note at the beginning of the book! He is brutally honest and open about the depictions in this book and includes the trigger warnings that come with this book (which I definitely recommend readers checking beforehand)

Plot
HFWU is a post-apocalyptic story, in which our MC Benjamin is trying to thwart “the Angels” plan of human extinction. Following on from “Judgement Day” the “Angels” believe it is “God’s Plan” for the human race to be reborn, and thus this sets them on a journey of destruction, killing all sinners and non-believers. The story does come across as an end of the world dystopian kind of novel, just with more character development included.
I will say that the book is very heavy on the religious side of the story and there is a large mention of “God”, and “Him” and “His plan” which I understand is part of the main storyline, but in all honestly I did struggle a little towards the end with how heavily this is included, however that does not take away from this novel just how truly fantastic it is. Plus, it was interesting to read just how much the bible (and other religious works) can be read and manipulated to fit a person’s ideology.

Characters
The character development in this book is fantastic and representation throughout the book its absolutely amazing, there is representation for everyone here! The book is predominately from Benjamin’s point of view but there are occasional chapters from Nicholas and Theodore which also adds to the plot and character development.

The MC is Benji who is absolutely adorable, and I love just how much support he has for his new friends that he finds at the ALC (Acheson LGBTQ+ Centre) which is a collection of kids all within the LGBTQ+ community, who all have their own battles and demons, but who all ultimately look out for one another and provide support and friendship. There is huge representation in this book, including but not limited to; trans individuals, non-binary individuals, CIS individuals as well as one of the MCs opening up about being autistic.

I loved how the author was able to still remind the readers that these characters are still just kids/young adults, they have been forced to grow up in this dystopian world and become soldiers trying to fight for their survival and their lives, and it especially angered me when you had the likes of the Vanguard refusing to help unless certain conditions were met. I did also like the fact that the characters were still able to find happiness and have the ability to play games and joke and laugh whilst facing such despair.

World Building
There is a large portion of depicted gore and violence throughout the book, which is written very well (and disturbingly graphically in places, I can actually imagine how grotesque some of the “Grace” actually are) and it did often feel like I was reading parts of the “Walking Dead”. These are the parts of the book that fall into the horror/apocalyptic genre of the book, and in all honesty I am not a massive fan of horror in general, so I was a bit squeamish in places. However, I was completely attracted to the books synopsis in the first place, so I handled the horror/gore sequences purely for the amazing collection of characters and their journey.

All in all, it was a great read, that I am really happy to have picked up, and I know for a fact a few of the characters in this book will live rent free in my head. I desperately would love a sequel just to be within the world of “the Watch” again and see where these characters are heading!

Trigger Warnings!
Graphic violence (including but not limited to gore, domestic violence, child abuse, violence and death) transphobia, homophobia, deadnaming, body dysmorphia, Emetophobia, religious abuse/terrorism, self-harm and attempted suicide

Hell Followed With Us is a labor of love, passion, anger, hope and the lack thereof, and the need to be seen and heard. The thing is: the main concept of this book has been done before, but the author spins this subgenre of horror into a huge symbolism about being trans, queerness, queer friendships, religious trauma, abusive relationships, etc. And really, I cannot commend him more for that.

Now, the only reason why I didn't rate this any higher (3.5 stars!) is because this book has everything I want in a book and yet it did not feel like it when I was reading it. It wasn't able to hold my attention for long. The pacing is slightly messy and I had some issues with worldbuilding and its history. Because it's mostly told through Benji's perspective, I wish we could have seen more from other POVs in order to build the contrast of who Benji could be (Theo) and the mirror of what he is becoming (Nick).

There are a lot of violence and graphic depictions from the beginning to the end, but for some reason, it was more cringe-worthy than disturbing—at least to me. The ending may seem idealistic, but it's the only proper ending for this book that I could see, so hats off for that! Finally, I especially liked how friendship is shown here. The world may be ending but teenagers—even those with blood in their hands—are still teenagers. The way they bicker, argue, and annoy and then find solace in each other is beautifully done. Overall, what a ride! If you're a fan of YA horror and you like gore and horrifying descriptions alongside queer and neurodiverse representations, then this book is for you!

Thank you to Peachtree and NetGalley for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!

(A longer, more detailed review is posted on my Goodreads and will be posted on my blog at the end of the month!)

HELL FOLLOWED WITH US is a horrifying tale about surviving all kinds of changes: bodily changes, changes in identity, and changes in the world. Benji is a 16-year-old trans boy who has escaped from the fundamentalist doomsday cult his parents help to lead. There's only one problem-- his parents managed to infect him with a horrific virus that will transform him into a monster and a killing machine. Benji finds a ragtag group of queer kids ensconced in the local LGBT center, and now must navigate new relationships, his new gender, his past, and the uncertain future. A must for fans of apocalyptic and body horror!

I absolutely loved this book!
It was an amazing queer YA horror read!
The story was extremely dark and gruesome so I definitely recommend you check trigger warnings as it was full of body horror and much more...
I can't wait to see what the author writes next as I'll definitely be reading it!
Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book was written for trans and autistic people with religious trauma. For those of us full of rage. People who would rip the world apart to protect whatever safe space and family they've found or carved out for themselves. I cannot say enough about how cathartic this was to read, even if I paused halfway through to go bleach my hair and emotionally process.

HELL FOLLOWED WITH US by Andrew Joseph Smith is a 🔥hell🔥 of a queer debut about harnessing rage and hope in post-apocalyptic YA horror. CW: violence, body horror, religious cults, medical trauma in the novel and my review.

Benji witnessed the apocalypse as a pre-teen when his mother and her terrorist evangelical cult unleashed a virus on the earth that either kills the victim immediately with extra pairs of ribs and teeth growing their their lungs or brain, or mutates their bodies into nearly-deathless eldritch horrors that shamble around the ruined landscape, absorbing more bodies as they become "Graces" of the cult's God. Benji is chosen to become Seraph—a martyr injected with a version of the virus that will liquify his insides and turn him into a horrifying creature that's meant to bring about a second purge of "nonbelievers" as he leads an army of Angels. Until Benji escapes and has to decide between dying somewhere in the wilderness or using the monster to destroy every last person who brought about the end of the world.

This novel is visceral, disgusting, and kept me on my toes as I binged it. Tbh, I was expecting the plot to be very straightforward—of course we just need to kill the bad guys who started the apocalypse cult, right? Except many of the characters are entangled in the church, in each other, and are caught in what it means to be "good" in a world where one has to kill to survive and protect their loved ones. In particular, the characters Theo and Nick had me constantly reevaluating whether I trusted them or not, making me doubt myself alongside Benji as well, which was very refreshing (I am Not a fan of dramatic irony). And finally, this is a very queer book, rooted in body horror and Benji's dysphoria as a gay trans guy, the found family inside an lgbtq youth center that survived the apocalypse, and even an autistic secondary main (Nick) trying to keep it all together to atone for past sins.

I compared this book to WILDER GIRLS with its queer adolescent rage, survival, and body horror, but if you ever felt disappointed by WG's ending, you will find HFWU much more satisfying.

Thank you to Netgalley and Peachtree Teen for providing a free digital copy of this book. The following is my honest review.

Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White is absolutely everything I've ever wanted in a YA book. It's angsty and emotional and horrifying and so, so queer and it's perfect.

The Plot
A fundamentalist Christian cult has taken it upon themselves to bring about the end of days with as much suffering as possible, and so they've created a virus that rots and mutilates the human body from the inside out until they become a sort of zombified Biblical monster of chaos. Teenage Benji was forced into the cult by his mother years ago and has been chosen to be injected with a special strain of the virus that will turn him into God's holy messenger meant to lead the believers to heaven. Except, Benji realizes, maybe that's not what he wants to be.

The Good
Everything. The characters. The chaos. The monsters. The angst. The queerness. Benji was the perfect main character for a YA novel and his arc was excellent. Nick was the best (and only non-offensive) portrayal of an autistic person I've read in fiction. Theo was the most perfect villain/love interest. Andrew Joseph White handled a ton of sensitive topics with care, but without feeling like he was preaching.

The world-building is probably my favorite part. It is immersive and impressive, to say the least. White leaned in hard to the Christian apocalypse theme and it was 1000% believable and awesome. Highly, highly recommend this book to ex-Catholics in particular because I found it cathartic in that sense. A way to release everything that's been pent-up since my time as a queer person in Catholic school.

The Bad
Nothing? Sometimes the gore was a lot to handle but I got through it and it was worth it. Otherwise? Hands down my favorite 2022 read so far.

Huge content warnings for MASSIVE amounts of gore, death, body horror, and really just carnage of all kinds. Also misgendering, deadnaming, and abusive relationships.

Thank you to Netgalley and Peachtree for an arc in exchange for an honest review.

I grew up in the YA Dystopian era of The Hunger Games, Divergent, and The Fifth Wave, and this book recreated that for older me. I read this book over the span of a few days, and every time I opened it I couldn’t put it down until something else called me away, usually a class. This book is dark, incredibly gory and not for the faint of heart.

I enjoyed this book as much as is possible with how heavy it is. At its core, Hell Followed With Us is a story of survival. I normally am not a fan of first person narration in general, but I feel that it was crucial for this specific story.

I personally am a fan of being thrown into a story rather than being given a ton of exposition, and this book throws you in fast. It took me a little while to pick up on the backstory, but I think that worked to the books benefit. I definitely can see how this would turn someone off from this book though.

Content Warnings
* Violence (explicit gore, arson, murder and mass murder, warfare, terrorism)
* Frequent body horror
* Transphobia
* Religious abuse/Christian terrorism, combined with elements of eco-fascism
* Abusive parents and domestic partner violence (including returning to an abusive partner and victim self-blame)
* Self-injury (including attempted suicide of a side character)
* Emetophobia (vomiting) warning throughout

this book was really great! i haven't read a lot of post apocalyptic books and the fact that this is a YA that focuses on that but also has really great representations is enough for me to read this because I feel like that is a great way to bring this genre back. And it feels unique and fresh, which I also love. I really enjoyed the representation, and I liked the writing as well, although there was some that I feel was too gruesome for me to read.

What a journey this book was!
As my first time reading something from the author, I didn't know what to expect and I'm glad to say I was not disappointed. The setup for the story as a post-apocalyptic world as well as the religious horror, made this fictional world feel quite real, which made this book hit that much harder. I appreciated the rawness of certain topics that made the experience of reading more gut-clenching.
Benji, our main character, felt complex in his journey throughout the book and his interactions with other characters.
I enjoyed the rest of the characters even when I wish we could´ve seen more interactions between them.

Overall, I loved this book and I encourage everyone to give it a shot because you may find it is worth it.