AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I want to read everything Andrew writes.
Hell Followed With Us explores the religious trauma, how society tries to form us and make us in the image that they think is the right way. I love Benji, I love Nick and everyone at the ALC. I hope this is not the last time we see them.

(I received an advanced readers copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

Hell Followed With Us was one of my most anticipated books of 2022 so when I saw I got an ARC I literally SCREAMED and let me tell you, it delivered!

I rarely read horror but this book really made me delve deeper into the genre. The horror parts of the book are so unsettling and creepy in the best way possible.

The rage in this books is so visceral and very cathartic for me as a trans person so thank you to Benji for taking one for the team and being the rage monster I sometimes want to be😎

Also can we please talk about that cover it’s stunning!

All in all, I’m definitely planning to buy a physical copy of Hell Followed With Us when it comes out!

Rep in this book: trans and queer mc, autistic and queer major character, a side character with neopronouns + very diverse and almost all queer side characters

Some major trigger warnings: religious bigotry, trauma, and horror, transphobia, gun violence, violence, very graphic body horror, death, cults (the cult is based on Christianity)

Thank you so much, NetGalley, Peachtree and Peachtreeteen, for the chance to read this book in exchange of an honest review.

TW: violence, abuse, murder, body horror, transphobia, religious abuse, abusive parents and partner, victim self-blaming, self-injury,
Check the author's website for the complete TWs
https://andrewjosephwhite.com/content-warnings%3A-hfwu

Benji is a sixteen year old trans boy, on the run from the cult that raised him, a religious extremist sect that unleashed Armageddon and decimated the world's population and infected him with a bioweapon. Desperate to find a place where they can't find, hurt and use him. Benji is rescued by a group of teens from the local Acheson LGBTQ+ Center, known as the ALC. Its leader is Nick, gorgeous and autistic and he knows Benji's darkest's secret, that the bioweapon is turning him into a deadly monster. Rescued and sheltered, Benji decides to learn how to control the monster and use its power to defend his new family. Even if that means confronting the cult's hate and power and escaping from it alive and free.

Hell followed with us is a magnificent and furious queer debut, about embracing your monster and fighting back against your oppressors, to be alive and free.
The story is set in a post-apocalyptic world, with destroyed cities, dead and/or mutated bodies, where the survivors are fighting to live, eat and be safe from the monsters, humans or not.
Benji was raised by a fundamentalist cult, struggling with their hate and ideas, trying to get free and to live as a boy, when everyone in the cult wants him to be their savior girl, battling transphobia, deadnaming and violence from abusive parent and partner.
When he's rescued by the ALC, a ragtag group of queer teens, with different ideas, but who built a safe place for them, Benji starts to see another world, a chance to be himself and to find his own home, place and love.
The ALC is strongly opposed to the cult's ideas and violence and there Benji starts to make friends, to find a new family and a place to survive and he will be willing to do anything to keep them all safe, even getting back to the lion's den and destroy it from within.

The worldbuilding created by the author is eerie and scary, filled with violence and surviving, monsters and mutations, virus and religious fanatism and religion used and abused to justify genocide and bigotry. the writing style, the prose is so vivid I could imagine everything so clearly and I absolutely loved how immersive and evocative the story was.
Benjii is a great main character, struggling with victim self-blaming, religious brainwashing and wanting to be free and himself. He's stubborn, brilliant and filled with justified anger and the desire to destroy those who hurt and still threaten him.
I loved his relationship with Nick and how they slowly start to understand, respect, protect and love one other in a very messy and violent situation. I've also loved the disability rep and how wonderfully written was Nick's character.
The extremism, the constant use of religion to justify hate and violence is strongly opposed by the ALC and by these wonderful queer kids, fighting back and resisting a world bent on destroying them, by loving and taking care of one other.

The horror, grief, rage and hate are mixed with hope, found family and love in this awesome dystopian story. The author wrote a book full of gore, fire and justified anger, about monsters who decide to fight back for themselves and their loved ones. A story about embracing yourself and the monster within and fighting against your oppressors, finding your own home and family.

Hell followed with us represent a cruel world and the amazing queer teens who fight to survive.

Absolutely one of my new all-time favourite books. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it!! Can't wait for this book to be out, and for everyone to be reading it. It's just so so so good.
Angry and spiteful and graphic - this is exactly the feral queer story my heart needed right now.
Obssessed.

I would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for a chance to review this book in exchange for an honest review!

Wow… I’ve got to say that I’ve been wanting to read this book for ages. The cover and bio stood out to me immediately. Religious trauma mixed in with an apocalypse and gay people, heck yeah! Anyway, the general plot of this book focuses on a young trans boy named Benji who has been raised in a religious cult during an apocalypse started by that very same cult. He meets up/is rescued used by a group of youth from a former queer rescue center and things fall into place. Also, the cult did something to slowly turn Benji into a monster. Furthermore, the book itself sure did impress. As a nonbinary/trans individual myself, I relate a whole lot to Benji. The book drew me immediately in with the first chapter. Gore, trauma, evil manipulative jerks that taunt the MC, amazing! I love love love it when a book just hits you with absolutely terrible environments and characters who have been through a whole lot.

The description in this book was absolutely rich. As someone obsessed with horror, I was totally satisfied. The Flood is definitely something that still freaks me out. The realistic and gut crushing portrayal of abusive relationships was another thing that hit me hard. It is hard to love someone who treats you horribly. And when everything comes crashing down, everything just sucks.

Despite really loving the plot, atmosphere, and the MC, I felt slightly unsatisfied with how rushed the ending was. Nick and Benji in particular felt slightly rushed. We went from Benji being in a not-so-good place to immediate romance, and that just wasn’t my style personally. Moreover, we were introduced to a lot of interesting characters that sadly never got the development they needed. I didn’t get the warm satisfaction I craved when I reached the ending, but I suppose for a mostly horror-based book that’s just what happens.

All-in-all, I’d give this book a solid 4/5. I think the bittersweetness of the end just didn’t cut it for me.

TLDR of my review: Weird in the best way possible. I loved the plot, the relationships between the characters, and the diversity of the characters. Such a cool read 5/5 stars. Check out the full review here: https://maeflowerreads.wordpress.com/2022/03/02/hell-followed-with-us-review/

Thank you netgalley and the publisher for the ARC

Wow i really don’t know to start this book was just amazing and my top read of 2022 so far !!

The representation in this book is just outstanding !! almost every character is queer as hell and i’m here for it !! our main protagonist Benji is a trans boy who escapes from a deathly cult who have just injected him with their deadliest weapon yet. on this path to escape he comes across an LGBTQ+ centre who take him in.

Yes you heard that right an LGBTQ+ centre, literally everyone is queer and the representation is just amazing !!! we have trans rep non binary rep, characters who use neo-pronouns, lesbian rep, aromatic rep, POC characters and autism rep and more !! i really loved the autism rep in this book the way it was portrayed in my opinion was genuine and with sensitivity.

I just love love love the plot of this book, it was so interesting and such a page turner i couldn’t stop reading as soon as i started !! i also really conected with the characters, and whilst their were quite a few i found myself connected to almost all of them by the end of the book and i thank the characterisation for that. the main queer (mlm) couple as well, i had so much love for them and were rooting for them the whole book and i think the author did a good job at building the romance whilst making sure it didn’t compromise the plot or get in the way of it. don’t even get me started on the found family this book has, my biggest weakness !!

Perhaps what captioned me the most abt this book was the writing and writing style this author just has a way with his words and descriptions that i could actively picture most of what was happening in my head especially the description of the horror and gore involved.

I really think this book has the potential to become a top seller for 2022 and i hope that everyone enjoys it as much as i did.

First of, i want to say that i was scared to be disappointed by such a large cast of lgbtq+ teenager, i didn't want it to be cliché or even bad representation like it often end u being, and i wasn't disappointed at all. The anger that many lgbtq+ teenager, especially transgender people was so well depicted, i wish i've had a book like Hell Followed with Us when i was a younger.
What i also loved is the relationship between the main character and religion, because he never hated God, he only ever hate the organisation representing Him and i think it was brilliant, because not all lgbtq+ turn their back on religion or hate it.
On another less serious topic i loved how love is depicted, this fierce feeling of loving something or someone so deeply that it easily turns to hatred.

Bear with me, it's a five star which means that it might be difficult for me to express my thoughts. So.

The world ended 2 years ago due to a Christian eco-terrorist cult unleashing a deadly, monstrous virus on the world. Most people have died, but not all, as had been their goal. In order to fix that, (kill more people), they have been trying to create Seraph, a bio-weapon to wield against the survivors. Unfortunately, Benji, a trans boy, is the one carrying the successful strain of it and he does not want to a part of it at all, which is made clear by him escaping into the city of Acheson, where he is taken in by the ALC, where he badly want to belong. All he has to do to accomplish that is control Seraph and get revenge on the people who hurt him and killed his father. Easy! Not.

Okay, awkward attempt at a blurb over.

The writing is wonderful. Here's a quote(non-spoiler):

"I tried to feel it. I did, I swear. I reached for it, squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could and begged for it. I pretended I was stretching mu hands out into the darkness behind my eyelids, fingers splayed wide, trying to find even the barest touch of something out there in the abyss. To feel the warmth Mom always assured me was waiting once I accepted God into my heart.
There was nothing. Always nothing."

Speaking of God. This book is very, very heavy with Christianity and the damage it can do. As sapphic woman who has been exposed to a similar kind of rhetoric, to people spitting Bible verses in your face as an excuse for telling you that you were "unnatural" and "going to hell", a lot of it resonated with me in a dull-clang-in-your-chest-and-suddenly-you're-about-to-cry kind of way.

The plot progression is a combination of slow and fast paced -- lots of minor events happening constantly and slow progression of the main development. I don't know if that made sense, but that is the best kind of pace.

We mostly follow Benji's point of view with the occasional (declared) switch to Nick or another character's (I'd say out of 36 chapters only 3 or 4 are not from Benji), which was pretty cool.

The characters. Lots and lots of representation. This is the first book I've ever read where neo-pronouns are used freely, which is great! Everyone deserves to see themselves in the books they read. Nick's autism is well written. The characters all feel very real, by which I mean not every "good" person was likeable and not every "bad" person was irredeemably terrible.

The world was developed well enough for us to focus on the plot and character development. We mostly stay in the now and how things are now, post-apocalypse, but we get little glimpses of what might have led up to this genocide happening through little excerpts from speeches and articles at the beginning of every chapter (also a lot of Bible verses) and Benji's recallings of what it was like before. The Flood is described in enough detail for us to understand what Benji was going through.

Love certainly plays a part in this story but I wouldn't say that it was the focus. There is a toxic relationship involved within the plot, which I feel was well done. Also, the themes of morality, grief and recovery are brilliantly explored here.

Like the author says in the note at the start of the book (that's actually when I knew I'd definitely greatly enjoy the book, actually) this is a story of survival. It's not doom and gloom, despite being post-apocalyptic. It's hopeful.

Overall, read it. Especially if you enjoyed Wilder Girls and/or Gideon The Ninth. Also, I did warn y'all about incomprehensibility but even so, I hope I made sense. Please be aware that Benji does get misgendered and deadnamed on paper and there's a lot of gore (from The Flood) and pandemic terminology used throughout the book.

Thank you to Netgalley and Peachtree for providing an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!

4/5

This book grabs you from the first chapter, spits rot all over you, screams in your face and makes sure you cling on for dear life. The writing is sharp, gory, a little dirty and queer as hell. This book had multiple things that would not usually keep me invested, such as horror, first person povs, and quick worldbuilding, but I kept finding myself coming back for more.

As someone that is not well-versed in the world of horror, a genre I admittedly ignore, this was a wonderful way to dip my toe. While I did gravitate toward this book for it's queer representation and The Last of Us comparisons, I found myself running through it for the unique body horror, terrifying and visceral images and snappy dialogue.

The characters are fleshed out and unique, each of them owning their identity and never bending to the plot or those around them. This made the story really pop out to me, I was able to keep up with each character because of all of their different characteristics. Benji is a trans hero in a world that doesn't deserve his utter kindness, he had faced such terrible things in his life and he still tries to be good and help others as his father told him. He's a wonderful protagonist and I loved living in his mind for this story.

The queer representation is out of this world! Never have I read horror-dystopian novel that filled itself with as many queer character as it's pages could possibly hold. I loved Salvador's use of neopronouns, Benji's occasional body dysmorphia, Faith's aromantic-but-protective relationship with Aisha and Nick's platonic queer relationship with Erin. It was just overflowing and I couldn't get enough.

My only critique would be something that could just be a fault of my own: the worldbuilding confused the hell out of me. I'll put it out there, I'm not religious and this book leans heavily into Christianity, a topic I've actively avoided and never cared to educate myself on. While the author does a great job of giving a crash course on all of the religious aspects that held importance in the story, I still found myself having to go back a few pages to reread and try to peace together parts of the plot. But again, this could be a fault of my own.

I can only hope that this is the beginning to a series or a duology because I want more of this world and it's inhabitants!

I'll start this off by admitting I finished this book in two days, a surprising feat after my two-month dry reading spell - it was that good. Also, have you seen the stunning cover art and chapter illustrations? I know you're already eyeing the synopsis and going, but what about the part about dystopia? Pretty sure I'm not alone in saying that we were all scarred by the same boring, looted-city backdrop and cardboard heroes circa 2014 when dystopia was all the rage. I pinky-promise you that this time you DON'T have to be afraid.

Written by Andrew Joseph White (@AJWhiteAuthor on Twitter), HFWS follows trans-boy Benji on a harrowing journey across a city plagued by disease, where bodies hang from urban structures and carnage decorates the curbs. Every chunk of rotting flesh, ruptured organ and exposed bone is worshipped by Andrew in beautiful prose and hauntingly vivid vocabulary, yet I'm pleased to report that the banger of a setting isn't even the greatest thing about the book.

As an absolute slut (I said it) for character-driven stories, I fell in love with the inhabitants of the LGBTQIA+ youth shelter Benji takes refuge in. From Nick, affectionately described as "gorgeous, autistic, and a deadly shot" (can you already see me screaming?) to Salvador who goes by xe/xir pronouns and the asshole who dislikes Benji for not binding, Andrew Joseph White creates people with complexities and flaws that are painfully raw and real. Buckle in, because we're about to go to hell with a bunch of scared queer youth who are funny and mean and above all, wonderfully human.

Symbolism hammers this masterpiece into queerlit Hall of Fame. I drank in every single parallel, every metaphor that AJW used to describe the turbulent relationship between Christianity and the queer community. Prayers twisted into monstrous contexts, God's grace depicted in the cruelest of ways, and Benji's ultimate form as Christianity's celestial being and Earth's horrifying bogeyman.

HFWU is a riotous and triumphant tribute to the struggle of the LGBTQIA+ community against radical Christianity. Plot twists, striking characterisation and bobby pins make ME want to kneel in worship, and I don't think I'll ever stop yelling about the brilliance of this.


This book is a shoutout to queer kids in homophobic societies who are tired of being kicked around and forgotten. Mark your calendars for its release on June 7, 2022 for a ride of chaos, friendship, faith and love.

I have no words. I don’t really know how to explain this book or my feelings. I just know I loved every minute of it.

It was bloody, raw, and emotional. This bloodied dystopian world after these “Angels” took over and ruined it absolutely hit hard seeing as how some of the issues in our world now are hurting it just as much as this enemy. It’s hard for me to touch on everything in this book as I’m a straight cis woman. I feel like my words are not as important than those who can sadly relate to the darker parts of this book. But just the emotions the writing put me through, the Bible verses mixed in? It was gorgeous in a gruesome way.

I really can’t put my feelings into the proper words at the moment. Please, heed the trigger warnings on this book, but if it sounds like your thing I beg of you to please read this book. Please bring these characters and their stories into your life.

Thank you so so so much Netgalley and Andrew Joseph White for letting me read this early. I loved it.
#netgalley #hellfollowedwithus

Absolutely nothing is better than the feeling of a powerful book and that's how you know for sure you've got yourself a five-star book. This is by far one of the best debut books I have *ever* read if not one of the best books in general that I've ever read. I have a good feeling this is gonna be one of the most talked-about books once it's out, mark my words. The characters felt so real that they were literally coming off the page; they (particularly the teens of this book) are so multi-dimensional. From the very beginning, this book was extremely engrossing and brings you right into its world-- to the point where I nearly missed some trains on the way home from work. There's so much emotion coming from this book. With first-person narratives, it's very easy for the POV character to seem bland, boring, and just like anyone else--that was the furthest thing from the truth with Benji. The queer representation of this book does exactly what it should, it helps enhance the story, it isn't the only aspect of the story that keeps you reading. I also really loved the autistic rep, both confirmed in text and not confirmed in the text (I very much read Benji as an autistic character too). There were a lot of trans/queer/autistic parts of this book that I related to and I believe others will as well. This book is really something special and while everything didn't go the way I thought it would by the end, I can't recommend this book enough. There are a lot of unanswered questions by the end of the book, so I really hope we see a sequel, but even if we don't the book still ended in a good place-- with hope for the future.

To my fellow queer friends with religious trauma, this book is for you. Give it a preorder, and a read, and you will not regret it.

I really wasn't expecting how dystopian this story would be. And as much as it was quite an original story. It just was that type of dystopian that I struggle to read. At first the book was very interesting. Finding out about who Benji was running from and what he was. To meeting the other characters that would be his allies. The characters where good. The whole story idea was very interesting and it's definitely going to draw people in. Just isn't a genre I work well with. It's still nice to read a trans rep book though. And one done well.

Thank you so much to Peachtree and NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review!

It's very hard for me to love a book more than I loved Hell Followed with Us. This book is perfect for trans teens struggling with gender dysphoria and religious trauma, and in many ways, I wish I had this book sooner. The prose is a gorgeous blend of monologue and scripture that fits perfectly with the story being told. If you are interested in reading this book, please listen to the trigger warnings, it's very gory and intense all throughout. And when the angry Christians and TERFs eventually start targeting this lovely book, please don't forget the trans kids who need this the most.

First of all I have to say my reviews are usually a list of types of a person who should read it and I didn't write a more analytical review in a while. Sorry!

I absolutely loved reading this book. It was fast paced, thrilling, and avoided the very common part 2 drag which I was worried about. It seems like a cliche, but I could not put it down to the point of forcing myself to leave it at 4 am. So here are some points I have to make about it:

I am usually not a fan of first person narration, but I think it really worked here. Benji's limited knowledge and his unique point of view made the story more profound than I expected it to be. I felt like other two boys got their pov for such a small moment there wasn't really place to develop their own voice. Still, I find it impressive that we got so many flushed out characters on so few pages, especially considering everything that was going on. Even the secondary or background characters were multidimensional and unpretentious.

I found it very interesting to have a protagonist who knows the motivation behind the different sides of the conflict, but doesn't try to be impartial. I think the moral aspects of the story are handled very well in general. I really loved how the concept of being "good" is separate from being fair or being a saint. Obviously we are supposed to see a eco-terrorist cult as what it is, but on a personal level it is more complicated than being "good" or "bad". The characters' actions have consequences, and understanding their motivations wasn't equated with justification or forgiveness. I am not sure how tiktok ya fans are going to handle this once the book comes out. I also liked that this complexity was extended to the graces- I expected them to be a simple creature feature with Benji as the one sentient exception and feeling for what I expecting to fear was a unique experience. At the same time it wasn't as simple as a good old "the real monsters are people" postapo switch which at this point I just find tiring.

So appart for the morality and the horror, the book was recommended to me as a queer story. I don't usually read books for representation, it's sure an added bonus but I still stay in my genres. However. It is very rare that I read about queer experiences and see myself in them this strongly. Benji's thoughts about dysphoria and gender in general are so realistic to me it got hard to read at times. But at the same time I felt that this is just one of the possible perspectives - with so many queer characters there really isn't a need to try to represent everyone and anyone in just one little guy, which makes it so much better. I liked how the subjects of conflicts within the queer groups were approached, and that the queer aspects were not simplified or made palatable for a cis audience.

Then we have Nick whom I absolutely loved. I found it so incredibly refreshing to see an autistic character that is portrayed as hot? I didn't realise how rarely that happens. Not nice or lovable or cool but actually attractive and admired. He's so good. I may have internalised Benji's pov a bit but I love this boy so much I can barely form a coherent thought so I will drop it now.

The main complaint I saw about the book so far was that it was confusing. Sure, the reader gets thrown into the plot without much explanation. I personally enjoyed it- it reminds me of some classic sci-fi/dystopia. After the initial catch-up the pieces fall together neatly and there aren't really bits that are left completely neglected, and the bits that are not explained also make sense as ones that Benji wouldn't necessarily know. I don't think in this genre everything has to be explicitly said. The graces, or rather their actual appereance, may be confusing at times but I liked this part as well- when it comes to horror, especially body horror, I prefer when it's at least a bit ambiguous- too much explanation can easily just make it funny instead of terrifying.

The one complaint that I actually have is that I didn't quite like the very ending. The stakes got so high, like when you turn into archangel what can possibly beat that. I felt a bit like the ending was left open enough for a possible sequel but not so much to actually promise that sequel. But in the end, two weeks later I don't think about this little drawback but keep catching myself thinking about the parts of the book that I actually loved.

I'm not sure if it's just in my circles but this book was hyped so much in the last half a year I tried to lower my expectations. So I expected a little young adult story, just with my favourite themes. It turned out so much better than that. Not to be too full of myself but it feels like the book was written for me. Like I could give it to my therapist and I would never have to say anything again. So I don't know how much my review is actually worth to anyone. But when I think about it, I can't really draw direct parallels between me & Benji. And somehow I still feel exposed. So maybe that is a more universal feeling.
I am however a bit worried about the possible target group- like this is YA but I wouldn't recommend it to teenagers really. So here is my list that I mentioned at the beginning. This is a book for:
-kids who tried to use the pandemic as an excuse to skip mass
-young adults who got out of a religious family and didn't have time to think about it
-people who internalised equating health with morality and get therapy for it
-eldest daughters of any genders

First off, the imagery is amazing. Dark, unnerving body horror? Sign me up! I really enjoyed that! The writing is scrumptious and I flew through the book in less than a day. My only complaint is that the plot is not coherent and solid enough for me to fully understand some of the events, but maybe I'mm just too smooth-brained for this.

Anyway, I love the queer rage and horror portrayed here and would definitely pick up the author's next books.

What an amazing, guttural, book. Bravo.

Hell Followed With Us follows the story of 16-year old trans boy Benji, who’s been living with the Reformation Faith Evangelical Church, an eco-fascist cult responsible for the death of 9 billion people, since he was 11. The book starts with him running away, infected with something that threatens to tear him apart.

The way Andrew Joseph White crafts this story is exquisite; there’s queer rage in every page, but there’s also queer joy, hope, love. I found myself gasping in several parts, screaming, happy stimming. I texted my friends “I can’t believe something like this can be published” (in the most positive way). I’m so happy for queer stories of horror and sorrow and grief and everything in between.

This is now my favorite book. It has all the nuance, all the things one wants in queer horror and horror in general, the intricate ways in which Holiness, horror, and queerness are intertwined is magnifique. It’s artistry.

Growing up Catholic, so much of this hit right in the right spot. Benji being such an insightful character despite his upbringing made me so happy. He's just a boy growing up surrounded by people who don't want him to be himself. And he's angry, but he's also scared and it's gonna help so many queer teens reading this. Specially because it's not sanitized and understands that kids can be traumatized and act upon it, instead of wanting to teach some sort of lesson.

The only things I would change is maybe describe the Graces better, as I didn’t quite understand what to imagine, and to flesh out some of the side characters a little more, I felt like I was missing a lot from them.

This is a winner.

[ARC offered in exchange for an honest review]

First off, thank you to Net Galley for giving me the chance to read and review this ARC! This book felt like an amalgamation of every angry tear I’ve ever shed, and it was horrifying in the most beautiful way possible.

This is a story of Benji, a queer trans boy who escaped the cultish society of New Nazareth and its Angels, but Benji has a secret—he was chosen to be the host of Seraph, a brutal monster that has the ability to bring whatever is left of this post-apocalyptic world to its knees. Benji meets a group of teens just like him (queer and in fear), including a boy named Nick who almost makes Benji forget about his fiancé back home, and together they lead a resistance against the Angels to save themselves and the world.

What I loved:

The representation and diversity in this book is like no other book that I’ve ever seen: there’s ace, aro, bi, gay, and lesbian rep on the sexuality side, and characters that are trans and non-binary (even two that use neopronouns). Additionally, though more in the background, there are a variety of religions represented within the characters as well (including a Muslim character). All of the character’s identities are treated with respect and care.

The structure was very interesting in that at the beginning of each chapter, you get a tiny snippet of worldbuilding (or a relevant Bible verse), that gives you more context into this world without it being inorganic or forced. Also, when the POV switches away from Benji, it becomes third person, rather than first person like it is normally. I’ve never seen a book have switches like that before, but I really liked it!

The horror aspects of this book coupled with the religious cult themes made for such a unique reading experience. I love horror so much, and as a Christian, I found the use of Christianity to be very fun to read about, especially since I know groups like the Angles exist in real life (though not quite to that extent). Additionally, the descriptions for the horror parts of the book, were very well done. I love gore and psychological horror, and this book has heaps of both.

Without spoiling, the plot is very engaging, even in the parts without much action going on, mostly due to the incredible characterization of every character in the book—learning about the characters and seeing them interact, grow, and bond is just as interesting as seeing the plot progress. It is so hard to put this book down.

What I didn’t like:

This is a very small complaint, which just speaks to how good this book is, but I do wish the romance in the book had a smidge more development in some places. While it progressed naturally in most parts, it felt like the progress would halt and then skip a few beats every so often, which was a bit confusing because I didn’t understand how the feelings of the character(s) got from Point A to Point B on occasion. However, the romance was not the focus of the book (something I found refreshing), and it was very realistic and pure, so I really don’t care.

Because there were so many characters and so much worldbuilding, I found myself misremembering or forgetting names and small plot points, which may be in part due to being thrust into the book with no exposition whatsoever, but none of this took me out of the book or the experience, so it was mostly just a minor inconvenience.

Finishing thoughts:

This is a book that I will definitely reread in the future! I just loved everything about it, and I can’t wait to find things that I didn’t notice before and to appreciate things that I didn’t realize were important before (I’m a big fan of good foreshadowing). I can hardly believe that this is a debut novel, but I know I’ll be looking out for any and everything else that Andrew Joseph White does in the future.

I have to say this first: if you think of reading this book, please check the trigger warnings. This is not an easy read.

So, I am very much not a horror fan. I’m not queer myself though I love and support the community, and I’m a christian (not evangelical) though I’ve had my share of religious trauma too. You could say I’m not the target audience and that’s very correct, I don’t think this book was meant for me. But there is an important autistic side character with his own POV so I had to read it! Being autistic myself, this meant the metaphors went waaaaay over my head. I see people reviewing this book ranting about A+++ metaphors so it’s probably very good, but I didn’t spot a single one lol! I simply read a book about an apocalypse caused by weird religious extremists, and a haunting yet beautiful story about a trans boy who has to figure out who he is, even as he’s transforming into something else. And a story where an autistic man leads a group of queer teens in an apocalypse and who is masking all day long to not look autistic. I loved reading about him, it is so very authentic! The masking part hit me right in the gut as it’s very relatable. I love how “autistic” is just an aspect of who he is as a person, diversity casually thrown without it being the main focus in is the best. And there was a lot of diversity! I really liked the small things, the conversations and personal issues, and it was the smaller abuses that were heartbreaking like the use of a deadname.

Though, as I mentioned before, this wasn’t the book for me. It took a while to get this world, and when I finally thought I had all the pieces together, it somehow became entirely different at the end. I still have no idea what exactly happened there. I think it ended bad? But maybe not? However, it was the extreme amount of gore that made me nauseated. I don’t have a weak stomach at all, but this was just way too much. The hopelessness was hard to stomach too. I expected more queer rage but I got angst, monsters and a big epic something. Which is OK but it just didn’t blow me off my socks which I hoped for. Still, I enjoyed this story, just not the actual apocalypse and monsters and gore.