Source of book: NetGalley (thank you)
Relevant disclaimers: none
Please note: This review may not be reproduced or quoted, in whole or in part, without explicit consent from the author.

Note: I found examples of Brown being referred to by the pronouns “she/her” and “they/them” online, but couldn’t find anything from Brown directly. I’ve chosen to use ‘they/them’ here not to misgender Brown, or attempt to impose a particular identity on them, but as the closest ‘neutral’ pronoun the language currently offers.

Well, this is complicated because there aren’t many reviews of this yet and, err, as a white British allosexual I’m kind of concerned about my own voice in discussions of the text. I mean, on GR. Not in general. I’m not that arrogant and there’s already been plenty of (well-deserved) high profile praise for this book.

In any case, take this an obligatory privilege check before I say—with full acknowledgement of my own lack of standing here—that this feels like a powerful and necessary book. It kind of reminded me of The Transgender Issue, not, I hasten to add, because I think a book by a white British transwoman and a Black American asexual are somehow the same but because they are texts about identity that refuse to be shaped by the current discourse about those identities.

For example, the generally accepted definition of asexuality is something like: “lack of sexual attraction.” Brown however, offers the following:

“I believe it is more true to say that asexuality is defined by a relationship to sex that is atypical to what has been decided on by society at large to be normative, and that atypical nature is marked by varying degrees of sexual attraction and desire.”

Which is not only more precise, more nuanced and more inclusive, taking as axiomatic that asexuality is flexible in its expression and moving the language away from the idea that something is lacking or missing in asexual identity, but I would argue more useful. Since the prevailing idea of asexuality as … a kind of negative sexual space is not only problematic and alienating for asexuals, but feels almost constructed to diminish empathy on the part of allosexuals. Let me make it very clear, I absolutely don’t think an understanding of asexuality needs to be accessible to allosexuals—we owe other humans empathy as a matter of course—but the more I read this book the more I found myself interrogating the ways in which asexual discourse not created by asexuals seems to centre around ideas of absence and otherness, and how deeply fucked up that is from the language we employ onwards (something the text itself addresses with reference to the philosophy of Miranda Fricker and the notion of epistemic injustice).

Anyway, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is an exploration of Black asexual identity: specifically the ways capitalism, cisheteropatriarchy, rape culture, and anti-Blackness (including the colonialist hyper-sexualisation of Black people) form—and forgive me lack of technical language here—a clusterfuck of oppression that is deeply harmful to ace people, Black ace people in particular and, because of the way oppression works, a bunch of other folk too. Much like The Transgender Issue made the case that trans rights are human rights and that trans liberty offers liberty to all, Brown emphasises that the way we currently normalise particular expressions of sexual desire not only serve to reinforce a denial of ace people, but to compromise sexual autonomy in general. In other words, our refusal to honour the experiences, and accept the humanity, of ace people is impeding our ability to properly interrogate rape culture or conceive of definitions of queerness that are not rooted in sexual behaviour.

I should probably mention at this stage that Brown’s cultural framework—especially when it comes to race—is explicitly American, something they are themselves careful to emphasise. While the book has certain things to say that are, I believe, both vital and universal, it is also specific to their own experiences as, to use their own words, “a displaced African born, raised and living in the so-called United States.”

Look, the long and the short of it, is that Refusing Compulsory Sexuality was an absolute revelation to me. Not necessarily because its ideas were completely beyond anything I’d ever thought about before, but because of the clarity with which those ideas are explored, articulated and contextualised. I know I’m probably making this sound like a lot of deep, heavy reading but—while Brown’s knowledge, and the breadth of research they’ve pulled together is legitimately impressive—it’s actually a really accessible book. Believe me, I read it as a lay person on most of these subjects, and I didn’t once feel overwhelmed or left behind.

I can’t tell you if this book will speak to you, but I personally feel it’s saying things that not only deserve but need to be listened to. If you’re Black, asexual, and living in America, it might well be the book you’ve been waiting for all your life. For the rest of us, especially the queer-identified, it’s still the kind of book that—and I do not say this lightly—we owe ourselves to read. Not in the sense of any book being an obligation but because it’s the sort of book that makes you want to be a better person, living in a better world. It’s directed my thinking in both significant and subtle ways, and I can’t be anything other than profoundly grateful for that.

I honestly have no words to describe how this book made me feel and all it’s taught me . As someone who is not part of the LGBTQA+ , asexuality was not something I thought about until now. I can truthfully say I didn’t know a lot about this topic, but book opened my eyes to what is asexuality, the discrimination asexual people face , black sexuality and parts of black history that I didn’t know about.

There’s a lot of parts in this book i related to that had me thinking a lot for which I am grateful.

One of my favourite things about this book was the fact the author put content warnings for when they talk about heavy subjects such as S A. I also appreciate the fact there was a bibliography at the end giving me the options to do further reading.

I read this is one sitting !

Thank you netgalley & the author for giving me the opportunity to read this book. I will definitely be buying the physical copy when it’s released.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality shells out important information and intelligent insight in spades, and the in-depth annotation of stereotypes when it comes to sexuality and the sociosexual scripts that are ingrained in our society and social interactions made for an intensely interesting introduction to some of these intersecting subjects. That said, I'm sorry to admit that a) its superficial approach towards some topics and all-around US-centric attitude is a bit irksome as a non-American, and b) my incongruity with the intended audience of this book (as a non-Black and non-American ace-identifying individual) maybe shaped some of my atonality to some of its analysis, and I sadly soft DNF'd at about ⅓ of it.

Thank you to NetGalley and North Atlantic Books for kindly passing on this ARC! 💫