When Life Gives You Vampires is a quirky and unique read perfect for fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Charlene Harris' Dead Until Dark. It was a truly hilarious and camp vampire rom-com, and a breath of fresh air in a genre that occasionally gets same-samey.

This book wraps up everyday struggles and concerns in a fantastical, gripping plot. Lily, our heroine, struggles with her body image and loving the skin she's in. Her experiences in this regard were incredibly realistic and relatable. These were blown up to exaggerated proportions when she realises her immortal body is stuck in the same size and shape forever. I thought this was an exciting and unique way of exploring these themes, and Duke did an excellent job of portraying them with care and understanding.

The plot in this book is absurd and over-the-top in the best kind of way - it takes classic vampire mythos and transposes it in a very ordinary context, thrusting immortal life and the world of the undead upon a regular, relatable woman. I really enjoyed the humorous elements, and the way Duke leaned into the ridiculousness of vampires (I mean come on, they're dramatic creatures). This book frequently had me laughing with its tongue-in-cheek, clever vampire lore tidbits and inside jokes. As someone who LOVES vampires of all kinds (Twilight, Buffy, Sookie Stackhouse - I adore them all) this book was clearly written by a fellow vamp lover and I really enjoyed the way it pokes fun at the genre and its conventions without looking down on them.

I think the romance was also really enjoyable - it was a little insta-lovey, which I suppose is typical of the vampire/supernatural genre, but I wish there'd been a little more behind the relationship. The story moved very quickly too, which didn't allow a lot of time for development between them. In a similar vein, there was a lot going on in the plot, and some things did appear to be tied up a bit too neatly at the end. I wish we'd gotten a bit more depth in some of the main issues/conflicts, just to heighten the emotional stakes and make us even more invested in Lily and Tristan's relationship.

That said, I think the plot was really engaging - despite its simplicity towards the end in terms of resolution, it moved quickly and had plenty to keep the audience hooked. Duke took on a difficult task - attempting a supernatural/fantasy plot as a secondary plot to the contemporary romance element, and I think she did a good job of balancing the two. While some things were rushed, glossed over, or left unexplained, on the whole I enjoyed the plot of the book and found it very easy to keep up with.

This book is a funny, easy read with lots of unique and amusing elements, especially for lovers of the supernatural romance genre. It strikes the rare balance between poking fun at a genre without being condescending - the author shows a real appreciation for the genre, even when she is making observations about the campiness of the tropes. Whilst it has some parts that could've been further developed and explored, I think this is a really solid debut and a fresh take on classic conventions.

When life gives you vampires by Gloria Duke is a fun, fast-moving story of a girl trying to figure out who she is while learning to love the body she has been blessed with. That's a lot to sort out especially now that becoming a vampire has been added into the equation. Who knew twilight was real? Lol. A super cute fun read from a first-time author that was a delight to read!
~Tanja

This had promise. I was really routing for it. Plus sized and vampires!? What a win. Unfortunately it fell real short with just about everything. I honestly think this is either an I loved it or I hated it book. I definitely didn’t care for it, but hopefully someone else will.

After an accidental turn of events, Lily finds herself waking up a vampire. Not remembering what happened until she has her first taste of blood, all memories start flooding back in and she realizes that a man she met while out on a double date must have turned her after biting her neck. This man, Tristan ends up seeking her out after the fact realizing what he had done to help lessen the blow of her new life.

Although this book had the potential to be truly amazing, the execution was lacking in my opinion. The amount of self-deprecation was over the top. I get that this book was supposed to be about body positivity, but this was a bit much as it almost took over the whole plot for me. I found myself skimming quite a bit, and eye rolled often with the lingo that was used. I’m not sure if that was meant to be “in the now” but it was a miss for me. It just made things feel very immature for characters that were well into adulthood.

Furthermore, the speed at which Lily’s friend Cat, and her mother accepted the fact that Lily is now immortal with a hankering for blood was not believable for me. I know I personally would have had a ridiculous number of questions and concerns to bring up, and this was not the case in the book. The number of references to Twilight was also incredibly shocking. Not only is the book outright referenced (which isn’t an issue), but the glaring similarities makes me feel as though they were almost plagiarized.

SPOILER ALERT:
• Mother being kidnapped
• Standing up against the council
• The council excusing behaviors they deemed as irreparable just because the MFC proved her devotion
• Tristan leaving Lily to “protect” her and her choices
• Forest running scene recreation when Tristan jumps to the top of the empire state building with Lily in tow

I truly had higher hopes for this book. Unfortunately, it was just a miss for me.

**thank you so much to NetGalley, and Sourcebooks Casablanca for the advanced copy of this novel in exchange for my honest review**

What happens when you wake up with no recollection about what happened to you last night, no undergarments, and a thirst for blood? 25 year old Lily Baines wakes up to all of these things... and discovers that she has no reflection. When finally quenching that thirst for blood she begins to recall what happened the night before... and it all boils down to handsome Tristan who happen to accidentally turn her into a vampire when he thinks he has her consent, when in fact he did not. Now Tristan realizes that he’s broken a sacred vampire rule by turning a newborn vampire without the council sanction and now they’ll be after both him and Lily if they don’t find a way to fix this. Lily only has her best friend Cat and Twilight to help her navigate her new vampire lifestyle. Lily has a lot of self criticism, body image problems, and lots of triggering eating disorder and dieting in the book. She’s constantly putting herself down and then comparing herself to others as well as making comments about other girls bodies, and while she does begin to work on her body image acceptance the book was rife with it. The romance was not there for me, Tristan is our resident Edward and the guy was so bland for an ancient vampire dude. I did think it was a fun touch to have all the little nods to Twilight but honestly the romance wasn’t really there and the final fight/battle was a bit anti-climatic. Sadly for a vampire rom com this one just didn’t work for me, I was so excited to read one with a plus size protagonist but unfortunately this one just didn’t work for me.

*Thanks Netgalley and SOURCEBOOKS Casablanca, Sourcebooks Casablanca for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for the Advanced Copy of this novel. I love everything you continue to do for authors and readers, alike.

This is a debut novel, following our heroine Lily—a plus sized, 25 y/o, female…who accidentally becomes a vampire after a date with the dreamy and mysterious, Tristan Newberry. While Lily is struggling to love and accept her body for what it is, she’s now frozen by immortality in her curves, which she is very hard on herself about thought the entirety of the novel (Trigger: Body Image and Potential Eating Disorders). Thank God for her best friend, Cat; her skinny, beautiful, tiny, smart, and slender, best friend Cat. At least she already works the night shift at her, less than glamorous journalism job with “TakeABite.Com”, so there’s that, right? However, Lily soon finds out from Tristan that she is an ILLEGALLY created, vampire, for which the punishment is…destruction for them both. Fang-tastic.

This book had an absolutely amazing concept, but its execution was so poor I really wanted to DNF within the first couple chapters. For starters, Lily’s dialogue is so foul and cringe-y, I could hardly make my way through it. It came off as though that author felt if she just threw in a bunch of Millenial/Gen Z lingo and obscenities that it would read as “young” or “trendy” with her target demographic. However, it really gave the entire book a very juvenile feel, almost as if it were aimed at Teenagers.

Furthermore, I simply cannot believe how many references to Twilight (and some near plagiarisms) were featured in the story.
SPOILERS BEYONDTHIS POINT.
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- “Hold on tight spider monkey.”/ Forest running scene is recreated when Bella/Lily and Edward/Tristan jump to the stop of the empire state building together.
- Mother kidnapping ploy to lure the heroine into a trap, when Bella/Lily’s mother is kidnapped and held against her will in the NY Subway Tunnels.
- Edward/Tristan gathers an army of his vampire friends to stand with him against the council/Volturi.
- Vampire council/Volturi excusing inexcusable behaviors simply because the heroine stood up for their kind one time, proving their devotions to protecting the race.
- Edward/Tristan leaving the main heroine as an attempt to “protect/respect” their choices.
- Rosalie/Raven coming to Bella/Lily about how she was once a romantic interest for Edward/Tristan and the “I don’t hate you, just your choices” conversation takes place at her underground nightclub, “The Crypt.”

Final concerns:
- How quickly the story moves. It all takes place within the span of 5 days—and Lily’s mother and Cat both accept her transition into vampirism immediately, with virtually no questions or concerns.
- Lily’s mother apologizes for all the years of nagging Lily about her weight and fad dieting, and then Lily immediately accepts her body as curvaceous and wonderful, as if she didn’t spend the entirety of the book vocalizing the years of trauma, by her mother’s words.
- Tristan and Lily have virtually no character development, very few shared interests (1, really, which is writing as he’s an author and she’s a journalist), and while the spicy scenes were not the worst, their chemistry wasn’t really there for me because all they did for the entire book was argue and regurgitate the same lines over and over. (i.e. “I need to protect you.” “I don’t need protecting.” “Why can’t you take your safety seriously?” “Why can’t you tell me things?” etc, etc.)

Overall, I gave this book 2 stars. I truly had much higher hopes for it.

Thank you NetGalley, Edelweiss, and the Publisher for access to this eARC.

I just can't. I'm only 25% through and I can't handle the MC's far too informal dialogue/thoughts. It feels unrealistic to me and I can't get past it. DNF.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU VAMPIRES was really fun.

I appreciated the body positive story and the fun vampire mashup.

I didn't connect with the characters too much, though. I think the the pacing was a bit slow for me for a romcom -- perhaps a bit too much interior monologue? Overall, I enjoyed this story and would definitely recommend it to others.

Book Review: When Life Gives You Vampires by Gloria Duke
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Rating: 3.5/5 stars
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Let me start by saying I really did enjoy this book. The numerous Twilight references had me DYING. And the Marvel references were a lot of fun too.
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An interesting take in this book was how the author got into how Lily's fat-shaming of herself actually hurt others around her. Lily has a very unhealthy relationship with her body and throughout the book we see Lily grow towards a more body acceptance/positivity attitude which I loved for her.
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Some things that bothered me about the book were that I didn't really understand the relationship between the two MCs. They weren't unlikeable, just I felt that there wasn't a lot of chemistry between them. The last thing that bothered me was that I felt that the final "fight or battle" scene was very anti-climatic.
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Overall, very enjoyable and a perfect fall/spooky season read or a good read for any twilight fans.

This was a cute vampire romantic comedy about a woman who wakes up a vampire after a goodnight kiss goes awry with a man she met in a bar. Lily's snarky wit is laugh out loud funny, and the supporting characters are great. I loved the origin story that he went in for what she thought was a kiss and when he bit her, she bit back. I appreciated her emotional growth and the world building in the book, as well as the burn of the romance.

The book examines body disphoria in a young woman who has been fat shamed her entire life by her mother. Lily really struggles with it throughout the book, and I would have liked for it to have been less of the story. In paranormal romance it is not uncommon for characters to grow suddenly beautiful, so it was great that she didn't suddenly become thin. It is also common for characters to explore their new powers alongside the limitations of their new conditions. While pieces were dark and flippant comedy like Christopher Moore, it would not be out of line to recommend this story to paranormal romance readers, or contemporary romantic comedy folks.

I received an advanced copy of this title from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my non-biased review. I am a librarian, and I will add this to my library's collection, and recommend it to our patrons.

I went into this knowing that body shape/size, dieting etc would be involved but the focus on it was just way too much and took away from the main story. Every other line felt like it was reference to disordered eating or weight gain and it just felt like a bit of a slog to get through. The writing style also made this a little hard to read because it was so choppy and felt almost rushed.
It just wasn't for me sadly.

I wanted to like this book more than I did. I liked Lily’s body positive journey, but I didn’t really care for much else.

The world she built was definitely off the beaten path of what I’ve come to expect from Vampire lore; barring Twilight, which the author references a few times. Actually, it kinda explains the unorthodox route she took with the lore. But I just didn’t buy into her world. If Vampires were made THAT easily there’d be a sh!t ton and that contradicts with the “council” and their strict rules of not making any new Vampires.

Besides not being able to immerse myself in this world, the tempo was off. It started well, but it rushed over seemingly important parts. And I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the over use of the word “um”. Fun pun coming up? Better preface it with an “um”. It just took me out of the book so many times. Just let the pun do it’s own job. I don’t need a lead up with a drum roll.

There was definite promise from this author. The humor was there and the main character’s journey of self acceptance was nice. Overall, I was entertained so it wasn’t all bad. I give this book a 2.5.

Special thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for releasing this arc to me in exchange for an honest review.

For the authors first book this is amazing! This have some questions that I would have like answered but nothing major that affects the story or plot. I also hope we get another book about cat and the vampire hunter!!!

📚 BOOK REVIEW 📚

Thank you to NetGalley, Gloria Duke, and Sourcebooks Casablanca for providing this e-ARC copy in exchange for my honest review.

“When Life Gives You Vampires” was an entertaining, spooky season, rom com. It was super cute and highly enjoyable. It was a combination of Twilight, iZombie, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The best friend was a vampire expert because of vampires in the media.

I enjoyed the plus-size mc learning to love herself and being on the journey to self acceptance, but I did not enjoy the constant reminds that she is fat. It just didn’t feel natural to me. I really enjoyed the sass knead and sarcasm. It made the story very entertaining.

This is definitely a great read for spooky season for anyone who wants the rom com and spooky vibes combo.

I will post this review to my goodreads and amazon accounts immediately. I will post to my Instagram (@ginganinja333) and my newly created bookstagram (@paulas.book.nook) closer to the release on October 4, 2022.

DNF

I struggled a lot with the writing style of this book. I found the sentences to be a bit short with a heavy reliance on commas. As a result, I found it to be difficult to read. I do still love the premise and would recommend giving this book a shot.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

I really loved this book! It was a super quick read, and I enjoyed seeing Lily grow into her body positivity. There were some parts that I felt were rushed, like finding out she was a vampire, or everyone in her life’s complete and immediate acceptance of it, but it was still super cute.

I received this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

I think this could've had better flow without all the extra f bombs. Ended up being distracting from the plot.

When Life Give You Vampires was a fun dive into the world of vampires and vampire hunters/slayers. With a mix of some Twilight, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and iZombie vibes (the whole "waking up" dead thing) it captured my attention and kept me entertained.

What I enjoyed:
- the sass and sarcasm
- the best friend as an "expert" because of vampires in the media (books, movies, tv shows, etc)
- an homage to classic vampire traits (ex. no reflection).
- plus-sized mc learning to love herself.

What didn't work for me:
- the relationship between Lily and Tristan felt forced, rushed, and not completely believable. The mix of enemies to lovers and insta-love just didn't work for me.
- the constant reminders that Lily was fat and hated herself - the growth eventually happened but again, it felt a bit rushed and not as organic as it could have been. I think it's possible to have a plus-sized mc who has some insecurities that they work through without it being a primary personality trait, which is what this felt like at times.

I really was expecting a fun vampire romcom that was like If The Shoe Fits meets The Ex Hex with vampires instead of witches. I really enjoyed both those books so I was super excited for this, but unfortunately it missed the mark for me. That wasn't entirely what happened. There were many things I didn't find enjoyable and the first and most obvious was the writing. It is campy, millennial humor to the core. It was really cringey at times. Honestly, the writing was what did it for me early on but I kept pushing because I was expecting it to relax on some of the cringe as the plot grew more intricate, but that never happened. The dialogue was really weird too. The story lacked diversity that I usually prefer to have in my reading. The relationship between Lily, the MC, and other characters didn't always mesh up. The third act was so irritating and forced. It happened and then was cleared up in like 2/3 chapters. The love interest had potential but their relationship didn't quite hit home for me. I also think everything was really predictable. I wouldn't have cared about it being so predictable had I liked the characters, but none of them stood out. I'm sure some people will absolutely love this, but sadly it didn't work for me!

When Life Gives You Vampires is a cute debut from author Gloria Duke.

I struggled with the first half of this book, and nearly didn't continue a few times. There were a few too many things that I couldn't get around, including the frequent use of the word 'Obvi', and the phrase 'Fuck the fuck off'... The language in the book wasn't didn't feel suitable to the MC's age, which was a shame.


Tristan was an alright character, but his insistence on being stuck in the past was a detrimental aspect to his character. It made him unlikable, and I'm not convinced he redeemed himself. I also had no idea why Lily wasn't subject to the vampire influence, it wasn't explained and I actually spent the whole book waiting to find out why she was so unusual.

The second half picked up, and I thought the chemistry between Tristan and Gloria was cute. It was a little too reminiscent of instalove for me to get completely sucked in, but it was still nice.

The plot itself was intriguing, and the book was okay for a debut. I wouldn't recommend this in its current state, however I would definitely give Gloria Duke's future books a read.