I don’t know how to rate this book. It was heartbreaking and provocative. I don’t think I was the right reader. I love memoirs, and I’m okay with reading about trauma, but this one was just too much for me to learn from. It felt very specific, more like a journal than a memoir. Thanks to the publisher for the advance copy.

<b>Young offers a brutally honest behind-the-scenes look at the systematic abuse she suffered in The Children of God cult and a front-row view of the misogyny and gaslighting she experienced in the military in this powerful memoir of resilience, reflection, and self-discovery.</b>

Daniella Mestyanek Young grew up the daughter of high-ranking members of The Children of God cult in Brazil. Her mother was forced to marry the cult's leader when she was thirteen and worked as secretary for "The Family" for many years.

While in the cult, Daniella was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused, while being told these acts reflected God's love. She was not allowed to attend school.

Young doesn't flinch away from sharing the grueling details of the generational abuse, hunger, male-dominated power structures, and various methods of deprivation that kept her and other cult members under control of the Uncles, as the group called the men in charge.

At age 15, after years of excruciating systematic suffering, Young escaped to Texas, enrolled in school, and made a new life for herself. After various naïve missteps during her entry into a more typical American life, she graduated and gravitated toward the armed forces in intelligence. She spent years fighting against destructive misogynistic power structures and making her way, struggling with mental health issues, and trying to establish an identity within a constrictive, gaslighting environment.

I'm fascinated by a peek into a secret scene, and cults and the military each fit the bill. Young's pain in both avenues is substantial and horrifying, and she is brutally honest. Yet Uncultured is primarily an affecting account of Young's impressive perseverance, hard-fought growth, personal reflections, and significant strength.

I received a prepublication edition of this book courtesy of St. Martin's Press and NetGalley.

A good read if you’re interested in the subject of cults, but definitely pass on this one if you’re even somewhat sensitive about child abuse.

What an absolutely amazing memoir! This gave me a much deeper insight to the children of god cult than I had known before. The authors detail and way with words have for such a vivid take on her childhood. This will for sure go down as one of my absolute favorite memoirs.

I pretty much has constant chills while I read Uncultured. A startling, raw biography that reveals a hidden world that you never want to visit.

A very good memoir that delves into cults and the US military. I will update this with my full review soon!

Daniella Mestyanek Young grew up in the Children of God cult as a third generation member. She describes in excruciating detail the physical, sexual, and emotional abuse she suffered at the hands of other cult members, including those she was taught to trust. It’s incredibly hard to read at certain points and I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been to write down those experiences and have to re-live them again. I have read some other books and watched a few documentaries on the Children of God, but this is the first one to have gone into such detail when it came to the abuse. The cult was essentially a breeding ground for pedophiles and religious extremists. How you could join the cult and willingly stay as you watch the abuse going on is beyond me. It’s the thing I can never understand about cults. It’s really easy to get sucked into a cult, even for those of us that say it would never happen to us. They prey on vulnerable individuals and those that are looking to belong somewhere, have some sort of purpose, or looking for a way of life that will bring safety and security to themselves and those they love. It’s easy to be drawn into that – to want what everyone else does. A family, a purpose to life, love, joy, comfort, safety. But at what point do you see that what you’ve joined is the complete opposite of those things? For Daniella, who never had a choice about joining a cult, realized that life could be better and left the cult as a teenager. But leaving a cult you have lived in your entire life is not as easy as just leaving. Having never lived in the “real” world, Daniella had to figure out education, making a living, love, family, etc.

Daniella’s life took a turn when she decided to join the military. Just like those who join a cult, Daniella was looking for purpose, somewhere to belong, and to find a community. The military did just that. It gave her purpose and a community where she felt like she belonged. But just like with a cult, the military had it’s own problems. Daniella details her experiences with this misogynistic group and the rampant sexual abuse that women in the military experience. She was essentially told that it was not a matter of IF she got raped, but WHEN she would get raped. I think we’re all aware of the US government and military’s dismissal of the abuse that happens to women in the military, but to hear Daniella’s first hand account of it is so incredibly disturbing. The worst part is that this is still a real issue that is often swept under the rug by the military.

Daniella left the Children of God only to be sucked into a different cult, the US military. Another cult she eventually left. Her story is like a horrifying movie being played out on screen and I’m in complete amazement of the person she’s been able to become. She is so brave for telling her story and revisiting a past I can only imagine she’d like to forget.

It’s really hard to judge and rate a memoir because it’s someone else’s lived experience. Daniella’s story was tragic and inspiring. There were moments in the book that took me out a bit, such as the very complex thoughts she was supposedly having as a 4 year old. But I will chalk this up to her adult reflection on the thoughts she had as a child. The other thing that bothered me a bit was that half her story was about being in the military with misogynistic and sexually abusive men, but that she was still very supportive of the military at the end of the book. And I know that part of that is the fact that she was in the military and is part of that community, however, she did kind of make it seem that the rampant abuse was something the military needs to “work on” versus it being an extreme issue incredibly ingrained in the military community. It doesn’t really seem like she’s really done anything to help bring change. Not that it’s up to her, but she has a platform and I hope she uses it in the future.

This book is definitely worth a read and I hope that Daniella has been able to find peace since writing it.

Rating: 4.5 / 5

I was a little puzzled by this one. It seems like it had a ghostwriter but it was so intimate and frankly at times grotesque. It gave me a bad feeling and seemed explorative. I thought it was an important, interesting story to tell but I don't think these were the people to tell it. It was uneven and some how both too vague and too detailed.

Meh. Didn't connect with this. The writing felt really stilted and like it was going for shock value rather than telling a story.

Uncultured is a memoir written by a "Children of God" cult survivor (also known as "The Family"). The first half of the book is about Daniella's childhood in South America where she experienced serious child abuse as well as neglect, incest, sexual harassment and rape at the hands of a variety of adults all referred to as "aunties" and "uncles". At 16, Daniella is excommunicated (by choice) and fleas to America to live with her older half sibling. She goes on to complete high school despite improper schooling throughout her childhood, and then goes on to college. From there she joins the army, which leads to the second half of the book. Daniella makes several comparisons between her life in the cult and her life in the army, some of which include: sexual assault, sexism, abuse, prejudice and trauma.

Uncultured is very well written, in chronological order with dates and locations, often something that can be challenging for writers of memoirs surrounding childhood trauma because their childhoods are extremely chaotic and memories can be incomplete or missing entirely. She was able to paint a clear picture of a life few readers would understand, both in the cult and in the army. I was able to picture her surroundings and connect emotionally with her challenges at each stage of her life. In both audiobook and written form I enjoyed her writing style and felt that the amount of detail included was perfect. There are many parts of this story that could be triggering, including some sexism and racism (mainly in the form of comments from other members of the army), but I think that the honesty and unfiltered descriptions provide a clearer picture of the problems in both cults and the army. I would highly recommend this book and am so appreciative of NetGalley and the publishers: St Martin's Press and Macmillan audio for giving me the chance to read and listen to this remarkable book.

Sheeeeesh. What a ride. This was an emotional roller coaster for me. While never having experienced any part of any situation Daniella had endured, this book ticked away at several mental triggers and fears for me.

An outstanding must read. I’m glad Daniella shared her story. I’ve seen plenty of documentaries on cults, but the insight from her first hand life experience brought a whole new light to the ideology of the Children of God.

That being said, I went into this having read a few reviews that didn’t particularly like the Army part of her story. I found this part to be the most interesting. I felt a sense of pride in her for her years of service and success. It felt empowering. Definitely would read more on her experiences.

Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the ARC.

Albeit flawed, Uncultured is a brave and important story that aptly highlights the prevalence of cult dynamics in more than just things traditionally labeled as cults.

I truly felt for Daniella as her horrific story unfolded. Her childhood was was cruel and, with all of the manipulation, few would have been wise enough to see through the charade or bold enough to speak out against it. At such a young age, Daniella managed to, and that is immensely impressive.

I did find that the military aspects were not communicated as succinctly as the details of her childhood were. Regardless, she illustrated relevant parallels between her upbringing in The Children of God and her time served in the military that included, but were not limited to: A misogynistic imbalance of power, a forceful teaching of hate toward the others/an enemy, and an ability to silence those who speak out against anything that doesn’t align with their doctrine.

I had some frustration with the second half of the book, but it’s Daniella’s right to be honest about her experiences and perceptions so I will leave it at that. This is her story to tell, not mine to criticize..

This is a memoir that should make readers think. It isn’t just Daniella’s story, but a critical look at the frightening power of influence and control. It’s something we need to consider more deeply within our own networks. Daniella’s keen sense of awareness shines a light on the evident and obscure cultish practices of our society.

I am immensely grateful to St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for my digital review copy. All opinions are my own.

I struggled with this at the beginning because I read Sex Cult Nun and I couldn’t help but compare them. Once I got into it though I started to understand Danielle and want more for her as the chapters went on. While I was sad to see her enter the military, it made sense for someone with that kind of trauma background. This book is one giant trigger/content warning but it’s worth the heartache.

This was a very well written book that kept me interested in the story on every page. Whether you are interested in a story on Group Think, cult behavior, obstacles women face in the military or just a story of the triumph of the human spirit this book has it all. If you want a story of the human capacity for blind obedience, how that obedience causes such harm in the world, and the incredible resilience and faith it takes to overcome such adversity, this is your book.

This was a difficult memoir to read. The intense abuse that the author faced is heartbreaking and eye- opening. The immense resilience it took to ensure and grow from this experience is also admirable.

6/10

“The first rule of cults is that you’re never in a cult”

And so begins Daniella’s memoir. She was raised in the Children of God, a cult that abhorred the “Systems” of society. They didn’t believe in doctors, lawyers or educators. They felt that sexual freedom was important so sexual behavior began when kids were very young.

Pedophilia, rape, physical and emotional abuse… it was a horrendous life.

Daniella describes it all in its raw and horrifying reality. It’s compelling to read in a scary train wreck sort of way. In that way, it reminded me of Jon Krakauer’s “Under The Banner of Heaven”.

That’s the first 2/3s of the book. Then Daniella gets out and joins the army - arguably another cult. The book takes a different turn here. I get why it is important to the entire story, I get the struggle she had as a woman in the military, I’m grateful for her exposing the challenges that women have in the military, it just didn’t hold up to the first part of the book.

Suffice to say, Daniella has gone through more struggles in her first 25 years of life than most people will ever understand. She’s clearly a very strong woman. This is a compelling book, it just seems a little more like two stories crammed into one.

I get that memoirs are hard to rate because it's like rating someone's life. With that said, I feel like memoirs can still be rated according to how the experience of reading it was for each individual reader. I found the subject matter extremely interesting but I struggled actually getting through this one. I don't know if it was the writing style or what but I trudged through this one and found myself relieved that it was over.

This book was highlighted as being in the same vein as Educated and The Glass Castle (two of my favs, which I’ll need to dissect in therapy). 😂 So, I knew I had to read it.

This book is also about a cult, which will draw me in every time. I’ve gone in deep on the unraveling of NXIVM and am eagerly anticipating the start of S2 of The Vow. I wasn’t as familiar with The Children of God, so this book provided an interesting look via Daniella Mestyanek Young‘s firsthand account, as well as her time in the military.

Many thanks to St. Martin's Press, the author, and NetGalley for sharing this book with me. All thoughts are my own.

Thank you St Martins Press for a digital ARC.

In this raw, gripping memoir, Daniella Mestyanek Young gives us a sneak peek into her life as a child in the Children of God cult. The horrors she faced at the hands of the “Uncles” are unconscionable and very difficult to read about. And yet she figured out a way to leave, on her own, at 16, get into high school (after only educating herself before with minimal materials), graduate, excel in college, and find herself in the midst of cult-like behavior again in the Army.

Daniella somehow beat all the odds with no support system and her story is powerful!

I have mixed feelings about this book. Overall, I just think it could’ve been shorter. The first portion that described her upbringing was both incredibly interesting and severely triggering. I don’t remember if the book had a trigger warning, but it most definitely should. The most interesting part of the book to me was her education after she left the cult. I wish that section of the book had been a bit more detailed! Her description of her time in the military was really fascinating, but definitely could’ve been shorter. Overall it was an interesting read because of her background, but also just so incredibly triggering and somewhat drawn out.