This review is hard for me to write. I was so excited to read a book about a non-binary person and how they come to term with themself. (I also didn’t know about the problematic history of the author, I just found out a few minutes ago and I’m not sure how to feel about that.)

I really, really wanted to like Frey. But they were just so obnoxious at times. They didn’t even realize what privileges they had and didn’t think they did anything wrong. I know it must be hard for a non-binary person to discover and realizing something so huge about themselfs and coming to terms with it and they also had a lot of growth throughout the whole book, but personality-wise I just didn’t really like them.

All the other characters felt super flat, they were just there for progress and as plot devices. The chemistry between our MC and the love interest was 1/10. The banter they had wasn’t entertaining at all.

And don’t let me get started on the “big reveal”, which was SO obvious that I was surprised that it was made out to be a plot twist. It only let me see our MC as super dense for not realizing it sooner.

First of all - when I first requested an arc of this on netgalley I did not know about the authors problematic behavior but I learned about it after I had already started it. If I would have known before I wouldn’t have requested it

When I first read the blurb of this on netgalley the concept sounded interesting. I mean a romance between a nonbinary and an asexual girl with fake dating and fighting for queer characters survival on a tv show, that sounds great right - it wasn’t. I did not like this and let me tell you why:

- The fact that this book was even written and published has honestly made me very uncomfortable while reading it because of the authors past comments on lesbians which is extremely weird and wrong of him to do. I do not recommend it. While there are some good quotes in here about queer representation on tv there are also a lot of moments/quotes/conversations that are not done well.
- I didn’t get attached to any of the characters. They weren’t fleshed out at all and I didn’t feel any chemistry between the two main characters. And a ”big reveal” in the end wasn’t that shocking to me, I think I actually guessed it very early on
- The pacing felt very weird. The beginning felt too fast and there was no time to get to know the characters
- The tv show environment felt very unrealistic. I obviously dont work in TV but why are there only two people working on it? They are both the writers and show runners and they are both evil which ofc I know happens but there are more people than that on set


Some lines/moments that felt wrong to me:
1, ”Tell me." Her voice drops low. Conspiratorial. "You don't ... you don't do that awful scissoring thing? I read about it online. Researching you."
[then there's more but i'm skipping to the next line of dialogue]
"No, ma'am . Never. Pretty sure that's not a real thing."

I´m just…. no words. It definitely is

2, ”A wave of guilt rushes over me. Really? There isn't solidarity between us, at least not in the sense that we have the same mission. Ruby's a woman; I'm pretty sure I'm not. #Morganetta is for queer girls--for all queer people I guess, but mostly girls"

I understand that Frey is going on a journey of understanding their journey but this quote feels like its invalidating their mission to get more queer representation on TV. Even as a nonbinary transmasc person I feel like they would/should show more support with a queer woman

3, ”I don't want to deal with explaining my identity to the world." "You don't have to," I say. "It's easier to say 'I'm a lesbian' because people sort of know what that is and what to expect from you. It's harder to say 'I'm nonbinary' or 'I'm asexual' without getting into a big debate defending that your identity exists. Like, when I first had a crush on a girl, I thought lesbian was the word for me--but that was because I didn't have better words yet to fit all my feelings in."

It’s interesting to follow Frey´s gender journey but this quote bothered me a bit especially knowing about the authors past comments about lesbians

4, "Even in a far future where racism is supposedly long over, where a Black family rules a third of the galaxy, a white woman's story takes priority [....] all I can think is Shit, I never noticed."

This is one of many lines where Frey learns about racism which feels so weird


Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for providing an arc

Lily Ashton is an actor born to an acting family playing the part of the fierce warrior Morgantha. Lily is out and proud queer and is angry to learn the writers intend to kill off Morgantha's on-screen love interest Alietta, played by uptight, perfect Greta. So a plan is hatched to try and save Morganetta and Greta's acting career and along the way discover more than just a simple "bury your gays" trope alive and well.

Having any nonbinary/transmasculine characters is so refreshing to me when I think I read maybe one book with a gay character in it growing up, so to see the kind of progress that's being made is wonderful. And also to have an asexual character, which are even rarer to come across! Lily (Frey's, I don't want to deadname them but I'm not sure how to go about it in a review without causing confusion if people haven't read the book) struggle with gender and dysphoria, even in such a public setting, was something I could relate to.

There was great commentary on how "bury your gays" is still so prominent in media (see Killing Eve) and how harmful it is to have actors of color act out story lines that play into stereotypes (like a black man killing the white love interest) as well as how being out and queer can still hinder an actor's career.

But also have pop culture references always been so popular in YA? I know I read a lot when I was younger and I've been reading more again, but I feel like a lot of what I've read recently has had an over the top amount. There was also an odd shift between current references like "Catradora" but then having the characters use Pinterest to share fandom content, which seems outdated.

There was also at least twice where Lily (Frey) mention either eating or hugging a cactus and that was just an odd bit that stood out to me.

The story itself had a lot of potential and I was interested in seeing how Frey would manage to turn the tide on having the white male writers change Alietta's death, but I honestly didn't see any chemistry between them and Greta. I know a lot of it was meant to come from "Aida", but when your characters spend most of the book not knowing the real person they're talking to, it takes away from any rapport that's been built.

Thank you to Net Galley for making this book available in exchange for an honest review!

My main criticism for this book would be to heavily edit the beginning before publication. I'm not even sure how to list all of the issues I had with the beginning, as there were so many. The pacing was weird, the info-dumping was weird, it wasn't hooking at all, and the whole part just felt very messy. I sorta felt like my brain was on fire while I was reading it, and I'm not sure how many readers would /keep/ reading through it to get to the rest of the book instead of DNFing. Otherwise, I thought this story was very fine. Some of the characterizations and lines felt a bit unrealistic at times, like the novel wasn't fully grounded in realist, and not just due to the Hollywood setting. However, I still enjoyed the book generally for what it was, I really liked the romance and characters most of the time, and would probably recommend for a YA audience.

I really enjoyed this book! The main character could be annoying at times, but I appreciated that they weren't perfect and were always willing to learn and grow. I really enjoyed how the romance developed and the conclusion of the romance. There were a few romance tropes that I think were executed well. I would definitely recommend this for readers who like ya romance or have an interest in science fiction tv shows and/or gaming.

Overall I liked this book. I had a few issues, the beginning felt rushed and a little confusing and I don't know how realistic it is, logistically and how the characters would react. But I enjoyed the book exploring the whole Joss Whedon feel the fictional show had, false feminism etc. Some of the realizations that Frey had seemed a little abrupt. But overall I liked him as a main character, and I liked Greta.