Took me a long time to read this and get into it. Unfortunately just didn't hit for me. I didn't really connect with the characters or storyline.

This was an intriguing story! It has so much drama you can't help but keep turning the pages! It was a good read!

A beautiful story of family trials, love, and togetherness. Thoroughly enjoyed this book and these characters!!!!!!!!!!

A sharply funny and big-hearted multi-generational story about the deeply complicated relationships between mothers- and daughters-in-law, told through three women who marry into the same family, a treat for fans of The Nest and Fleischmann Is in Trouble.

It’s 2015 in New York City, and three women all known as Mrs. Tobias—Veronika, the matriarch, her daughter-in-law Mel, and Mel’s daughter-in-law Birdie—are trying to navigate personal difficulties, some of which are with one another.Veronika and Mel, despite having little in common, are both psychotherapists who are more skilled at helping other people than solving their own problems. Birdie, still dealing with the culture shock of moving to New York City and marrying into the Tobias clan, is pushed to her limit when her husband gets into trouble. No amount of badgering from his steely grandmother, smart-mouthed mother, or disillusioned wife can convince him to own up to what he’s done. Overwhelmed, Birdie bolts—along with the couple’s young daughter—to her Midwestern hometown, hoping that space, warmth and wisdom from her own feisty grandmother will help her find a path forward. And though Birdie begins to find comfort in unexpected places—a local bookstore and the arms of her old boyfriend—her absence stirs up long simmering troubles back home forcing the Tobiases to reconsider their relationships to each other, and ultimately, what it means to be a family.

Will the three Tobias-women-by-marriage ever find themselves—and a way back to one another? A timely look at how women hold families together.

Overall 4 stars
Writing Quality 8/10
Image / Illustration Quality 8/10
Character Development 8/10
"Couldn't Put It Down"-ness 8/10
Intellectual Depth 9/10
Originality 9/10

Family drama? Sign me up! Trouble getting on with the mother-in-law, hello relatable. And of course, a central location being a book store - this novel checks a lot of the boxes! The flaws of our MCs were certainly the main subject of the story and though I was propelled through it with that, I did find the end a bit of a let down. Still , all in all a good book that I could see many many people enjoying.

I wonder why I haven’t read more books about the relationships between mother in laws and daughter in laws. It certainly makes for dramatic family dynamics in stories. Especially with this one and the generational differences. I saw this likened to Fleishman is in Trouble, which is one of my favorite books. While it didn’t really have the wit Fleishman had for me, it was just as realistic and true to life.

The Real Mrs. Tobias is about three generations of Tobias women and their interactions. I enjoyed reading this book with their differences and the difficulty of them. I feel like the story could have ended differently, it didn’t feel like it was finished. I will read more from Sally Koslow.
Thank you to Harper Publishing and NetGalley for this ARC for an honest review.

A multi generational story of three women that are all Mrs. Tobias. I enjoyed the alternating points of view and understanding where each of the women were coming from. Overall, though, the story just felt a little flat. There was lots of potential and it never reached it. I would describe this book as fine - not great and certainly not bad - but just fine.

Thank you to #NetGalley and Harper publishers.

I've loved most of all of this authors books and this one was right up my alley with sort of dysfunctional Jewish families.

The characters were well connected and the humor along with some seriousness was a perfect blend.

I really enjoyed this book. The mother in law daughter in law relationship is such a tricky dynamic - not typically covered in novels. This book looks at 3 generation of Tobias women and their complex relationships. I found Mel, the bridge between the 2 generations to be the most annoying Tobias, but that may have been intentional. I thought that the description of David’s decline from advancing dementia to be particularly poignant. I think things were wrapped up a bit too neatly- especially Micah’s story. Overall a solid read and I am happy to be introduced to a new author. Look forward to more books by this author.

Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced reader copy.

🔹 My take: 3.75/5

🔸 This is a multi generational story of 3 strong & independent women of Tobias family; Veronika - the matriarch, Melanie - her daughter in law (DIL) and Birdie - DIL of Mel. Veronika & Mel both are psychotherapists. They are pro in solving issues of their clients better than the issues they have amongst themselves. Birdie is still grappling with her move to NYC post her marriage with Micah. Multi fold issues arise in each couple’s lives and the story is how they tackle together as a family inspite of differences. They become emotional, practical, sensible, protective & confrontational as situation demands. It shows how women in the family bind things & relationships together.

💗 Found this hilarious, witty and packed with punch. The sandwich generation who has to deal both MIL and DIL is generally overwhelming and tricky at times. I loved the way author unabashedly wrote about Mel’s thoughts and showed how she yearned love from her MIL and respect from her DIL. Jewish essence was spread throughout by talking about traditions, clothes, language and food. I also liked the fact that the ending was not made a happy ending forcibly. Bcoz all is not always hunky dory in life. Sometimes hard decisions need to be made to cut the losses early.

💫 In mood for some light banter and intricate family drama, I would suggest this.

Thanks @harperperennial and @netgalley for sharing the eRC in exchange of a honest review.

The Real Mrs. Tobias is a family drama that focuses on the relationships between Mothers-in-law and Daughters-in-law. The Tobias family lives in Manhattan. Veronika is the matriarch of the family--a successful psychiatrist who calls most of the shots in the family. Her daughter-in-law, Melanie, is a counselor, mother of two, and grandmother of one. Birdie is married to Melanie's son, Micah, and gave up her writing dreams to move to Manhattan to be with Micah, The women are forced to examine their relationships when the family faces a series of challenges, including a hit-and-run accident, a terrifying medical diagnoses, and relationship drama.

I struggled for much of this book and honestly had a hard time relating to and/or liking these characters. Additionally, there were a lot of storylines to follow and I felt like the book was going in too many directions. But I felt compelled to finish the book and I'm glad I did. I thought the author tied up a lot of the storylines very well. And, ultimately, I really enjoyed the focus on the Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law relationships.

I thought the author's note at the end, in particular, was insightful and a good reminder to the reader of the overall theme of the book.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advanced digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest reivew.

Sally Tobias has written a warm, witty yet complex novel that explores the bonds between mothers and daughters and daughters in law and all the messy complications inherent in those relationships.

The book is set on the UWS of New York City in a Jewish household, with the city adding much color commentary to the book.

Fans of domestic fiction will enjoy this title. Recommended for all public libraries

In this multigenerational family drama, three generations of women - matriarch Veronika, 40-something grandmother Mel, and young mom Birdie - grapple with their relationships to each other and the three generations of Tobias men they have married. They meddle and argue and offer support, each sure that they know what is best for the others, while also trying to steer their own lives and marriages.

This was a great read, equally entertaining and thought-provoking, particularly in its second half. I found it a bit hard to get into, perhaps because the choice to tell the story from three alternating points of view kept me from getting fully invested in any single protagonist. Mel, the middle-generation wife, was the most central character, and I found her scattered yet overbearing personality difficult to sympathize with. This became less of a problem as the novel picked up speed; there were so many characters and plotlines that disinterest in one of them wasn't an issue.

The Real Mrs. Tobias by Sally Koslow
4 1/2 stars!

As the mother-in-law to two daughters-in-law, I fret over what I should and shouldn’t do. Or what I did or didn’t say. As wonderful as my sons’ wives are—and they are!—mother- and daughter-in-law relationships are tricky.

A huge thank you to author Lynda Loigman for putting this novel on my radar. I ripped through the page-turning story about family dynamics and the ups and downs of mother- and daughter-in-law behavior.

Sally Koslow, the former editor-in-chief of McCall’s magazine, weaves a heartwarming tale told by the three generations of strong Tobias women. Confronted with surprises, struggles, and loss, Veronika, Mel, and Birdie work to solve problems and hold their family together. But are they the people who should confront these issues?

This mother-in-law learned some excellent lessons!

Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for the copy.

I enjoyed this book. I’ve always been intrigued by the lives of New Yorkers, and I liked that aspect of the story. My big problem was the amount of similes and metaphors used. I thought there were way too many of them and that the made the book a little pretentious. Still a good read!

Three women are involved in very complicated relationships in their roles as in-laws in The Real Mrs. Tobias by Sally Koslow, which published in September.

Veronika is the matriarch of the family, and she is tough and stern as she interferes in the lives of her son Jack and daughter-in-law Mel as well as the lives of her grandchildren Micah and his twin sister Jordan. Birdie, Micah’s wife, struggles with adjusting to New York City and the Tobias’ women. Both Veronika and Mel are psychotherapists, but they are less adept at handling the difficulties within the family as they are with other people’s problems.

Micah is in crisis mode, and all the women in the family have their opinions about what action he should be taking. Micah’s reluctance to take charge of his situation overwhelms Birdie, and she and their daughter April flee to Iowa as Birdie is having second thoughts about the marriage and the Tobias family.

Mel, who is accused of “smothering mothering” by Jack, also has an opinion on a situation with her daughter Jordan. Of course, Veronika has a bewildering solution to Jordan’s dilemma, which is unacceptable to Mel, Birdie, and possibly Jordan.

Just when the Tobias family seems to be splintering in several directions, it is David, Veronika’s husband, whose beginning struggles with cognitive issues that shows how the women of the family can pull it back together.

Sally Koslow is also the author of novels Another Side of Paradise, The Late, Lamented Molly Marx, The Widow Waltz, With Friends Like These, and Little Pink Slips. She is a former editor-in-chief of McCall’s Magazine, and has contributed essays and articles to The New York Times, Real Simple, and other magazines and newspapers. From Fargo, North Dakota, she lives in Manhattan with her family.

My review will be posted on Goodreads starting September 29, 2022.

I would like to thank Harper Perennial and Paperbacks and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in return for an objective review.

Mrs Tobias is a character-driven multi-generation story about the relations between daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws. It features solid New York City, specifically UWS, and Jewish references that readers might enjoy. The story was well written, though I personally prefer a little more plot than this offered. Still, the characters were thoughtfully developed, and I appreciated how this story had both humorous and heartfelt moments.

Thank you Harper Perennial for my final copy in exchange for my review.

“despite grumbles and gripes, irritation and incompatibility, I believe we are a family united in optimism.”

The Real Mrs Tobias is a witty, sometimes gritty, easy yet poignant read… a multigenerational revealing of the intricately complex relationships of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law (lol, all sharing the name Mrs Tobias!). It’s a wonder more books don’t showcase this relationship… it’s ripe for storytelling!

As in any family, there are interesting dynamics in the relationships between the MILs/DILs as well as with their husbands and sons, which especially come to the forefront when the family gathers together. The story is told from 3 POVs (Melanie, her MIL Veronika and her DIL Birdie) and over time you see that as much as the characters are different, they are also often the same…all strong yet flawed. As the stories progress, their relationships grow, especially between Veronika and Melanie. They learn how to slowly let go of control and expectation, realizing they’re all on the same team, allowing themselves to become vulnerable and develop respect for one another. Some of the more touching moments are the beautiful snippets where you see real respect develop betw Veronika and Melanie.

One thing I loved was the painting of relational contrasts throughout the book: mother/daughter vs mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, MOTHER-in-law/daughter-in-law vs FATHER-in-law/daughter-in-law; mother/daughter vs grandmother/granddaughter. There were also comparisons highlighted in regional personalities (midwest Iowa vs northeast NYC) and in religious tradition (Jewish and Christian).

The book is funny, but with some serious storylines as well that cover topics like dementia, infidelity, finding yourself and facing responsibility. Maybe there were too many to delve into fully, but then again, it adds to the chaos of family drama so in a way it works.

I have to say, this book had a wonderful family cadence that made me think of one of my favorite movies, “Moonstruck”. I’m thinking this would make a fun movie too!

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!

Family Ties in Jeopardy

Psychotherapists abound. Where could you find a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both with viable practices? In a novel by Sally Koslow, it appears. This novel is somewhat predictable, but it has enough “chutzpah” to grab the reader from the very beginning.

Veronika, note the spelling, is the know-it-all mother-in-law who sets the rules and expects instant responses to her plans from this tight family. Mel (real name Melanie) is married to Veronika’s son, Jake, they have adult twins, Micha (son) and Jordan (daughter). It’s a larger cast of characters, and I will add one more name: Birdie, who is married to Micha. She is the most likeable character.

Altogether, it is the Tobias clan. They are a close group with many of the mundane problems and pure joys close families enjoy and endure. Micha gets in trouble, which is the basis of the plot, and the story moves forward, with more characterizations and small scenes that were not necessary.

The novel peaks when Birdie leaves Micha and the family must plow through some difficult health problems mixed with the joy of granddaughter, Alice. There are startling scenes; however, Koslow packs in many secondary characters. Each one serves a purpose with a different agenda, but it becomes overwhelming. Some of the humor is lost in the feisty scenes among family members.

The women are stronger than the men, or course, as they steer through family crises. The novel focuses on the Jewish Tobias family. Nonetheless, Birdie’s Iowan family represents a sharp contrast and provides astute perception among resilient strong women.

My gratitude to Net Galley and Harper Paperbacks. All opinions expressed are my own.