I absolutely adore this book!!!! It was a truly empowering and clarifying read for me. Alison Cook, a psychologist, offers such a compassionate yet direct approach to understanding and healing from emotional wounds, especially those difficult past hurts. She provides actionable strategies for setting healthy boundaries, managing complex relationships, and ultimately cultivating inner strength and a stronger sense of self. It truly felt like a supportive guide for personal growth and finding freedom. I also signed up for her weekly emails and love the insights in them!

In The Best of You, Alison Cook has written a book to help readers to break from their past and stepping into who you are supposed to be. She shared how she thought of this idea for the book when she experienced a hurt finger during Covid lockdown session. She described it as if her finger disconnected from her body. The day before she wrote about on her blog about learning to trust yourself. She has on average about 30,000 views. Later, she realized that she was having a stroke and there was a blood clot making its way to her brain while she was writing on her blog. She explained how this led to anxiety and a longing to write this book.



She begins by sharing the silent message women are faced with and how they are supposed disregard themselves for the sake of others. When we do this, we avoid, ignore, and skip over people and you treat them as if they aren’t important. We are sacrificing ourselves for others and we focus on other people and ignore our wants and desires. This will lead us down the path to bitterness and burnout and people pleasing. She explored Jesus and how he learned to say no and set boundaries. He said no to being on all the time, no to pleasing and performing, toxic behavior, no to bullies, and much more. He said yes to his purpose, asking for help, honoring his emotions, and choosing friends. She shared how women especially need to become who they are.


I would recommend this life changing book to anyone who is ready to become their very best version of themselves. She helped readers set boundaries, heal from emotional wounds, repairing your relationship with God, seeing yourself as God sees you, trusting yourself, and becoming authentic. This book is excellent to help women to become who God created them to me and its primary for them. But anyone can benefit. Everyone needs to be the best version of themselves. The lessons and the information presented in this book is very well written to assist us in becoming who we were meant to be.

Conversational and wise, this book feels like what you hope your therapist would tell you. So helpful and one I'll be returning to.

Dr. Cook's book The Best of You is an outstanding work of art! The author correlates scripture from the Bible along with scientific studies/facts, to create a symphony of information showing us how we can be our Best Selves! Dr. Cook displays a keen understanding of how we are to reflect the image of God in our daily lives, and how it should be our #1 priority in life to focus on our relationship with God, and then others.

I read this book after reading I Shouldn't Feel this Way and I found that this book gave me a lot of insight into areas in my own life where I need healing and growth to occur. Past hurts can overtake our lives and if we aren't careful, can infiltrate it like a disease. We must put in the daily work to work towards our individual healing, and have compassion and empathy for others as they worked through their own healing journey's, too.

Thank you to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson for a review copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

Dr. Alison Cook’s The Best of You aims to help us rediscover who we indeed are and what kind of life we should be living. The questions posed in every chapter, the journaling activities, and practical advice direct us to the best version of ourselves.

I appreciate the book's thought-provoking chapter titles, which encourage deep self-reflection and foster a better understanding of oneself. Among the eleven chapters, the questions that resonated with me the most were “How did I get here?”, “How do I find my way out?”, and “How will I know I’ve arrived?” These questions prompted me to reflect on my past decisions and how they shaped my current situation. The idea that there is a path to change gave me hope and helped me overcome feelings of helplessness. Lastly, the book's emphasis on understanding what it means to have arrived put my mind at ease and clarified my sense of place. I appreciate that the book acknowledges and accepts where I am without imposing any expectations.

An excellent resource for those who feel there should be more to life, but can't reconcile that feeling with the internal dialogs or external pressures of what is believed to be faithful actions. This book marries faith to various concepts from psychology in a way I've not seen before. I personally found this book very insightful and have many highlights to go back to and likely some re-reads in my future.

I am a longtime follower of Alison Cook via social media and newsletter so when her book “Best of You” was announced I looked forward to reading it. It is a solid, step-by-step guide to connecting with yourself. I have spent years in therapy and following Alison and others so much of it felt familiar but it was good to have my knowledge refreshed.

I loved these quotes:

“Healing is a process, a practice, a way of becoming more of who you really are”

“Your empathy may lead you to let someone off the hook when what they actually need is accountability…its not ok to let someone else mistress you, just because you understand the hurt behind their behaviour.’

“When you must deal with toxic or abusive people on the left side of the spectrum, the most effective response is taking action, which speaks louder than words. You’ve likely already tried to have a conversation with the other person but nothing has changed. That channel is closed. Let me repeat: if you could have a constructive conversation with the other person, the relationship wouldn’t be toxic.”

“Managing perceptions means I am trying to earn your approval through my actions. On the other hand, authentic connection means I want to be known as I really am.”

I did find some of the stories shared to make the lessons tangible triggering or do stressing so do be aware. I chose to skip over some of these.

It is a fantastic resource and so I highly recommend it. It’s a four out of five on the enJOYment scale.

I received a complimentary copy of the book from Thomas Nelson through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

"The Best of You" by Alison Cook was an excellent and insightful read! This book was written in a very easy to read format and was so informational! You can tell the author really did her research. I highly recommend this book.

I received this book from the publisher through NetGalley for my honest opinion.

Fantastic! Researched and encouraging. The chapters were packed with information but short enough to not lose interest. Not just a better you, but the you God created you to be.

To sum it up in one sentence, this book is excellent. Dr. Cook masterfully bridges psychotherapy and the Christian faith in a loving and accepting way backed by scriptural truths. Each chapter is an invitation to go into hard places while also feeling kindly supported by the words on each page. As a therapist, I appreciate the down to earth communication style and lack of psycho-babble which makes it an easy book to recommend to my Christian clients. The only thing I would change in the book is the women specific language. The author’s primary audience is women and its reflected in the book, but the content is so important for BOTH men and women.

The Best of You is a fabulous book for anyone who wants the confidence needed to be the best they can be, learn to make lasting friendships, and help setting boundaries. I wish I had read this book years ago. I know I will be going back and rereading sections in years to come. Dr. Cook has written a timeless book based on God's wisdom.

This book is EXCELLENT.

As a general Christian women's self-help book, "The Best of You" ticks all the boxes--warm, practical, encouraging, and deeply *helpful*. Dr. Alison Cook draws both from both personal stories and years of experience as a trained therapist to cover many of the most common areas where women struggle. At the heart of every conversation, Allison gently draws women back to a question many of us have never had the courage to ask: "What is it that *you* want?"

On the surface, that's a simple and obvious question--but it's one that many women (especially those within American Protestant/evangelical circles, I suspect) have difficulty answering. In an attempt to "take up our cross," "turn the other cheek," and avoid selfishness/pride, Dr. Cook describes how many of us have mistaken "selflessness" for not having a self, altogether. This particular misrepresentation of how Christ actually lived (and how the Bible teaches us to live) results in deeply unhealthy ways of relating to others--which in turn, often lead to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

While Dr. Cook does a great job identifying problems, her focus--and clearly, her passion--is on helping her readers find healing and growth. She does not waste time over-analyzing or criticizing who is to blame when women internalize Christian messages in ways that lead to codependency, poor boundaries, spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. (In this age of divisiveness, she probably could have sold more books--and controversy--had she taken that route!) Instead, Dr. Cook's clinical background gives her compelling stories from real-life women to share, and a talent for asking questions that cut straight to the heart of a matter. In fact, I found that the reflection/application questions at the end of each chapter were especially strong compared to other books I've read. (Having made their case in the bulk of a chapter, some authors will make the mistake of overwhelming a reader with too many questions to actually digest, or only offer low-quality, fluff questions that don't bring the material home.) Dr. Cook's writing clearly benefits from years of time spent listening to actual clients, and learning how to ask effective questions that prompt meaningful change.

Dr. Cook's advice is wise and familiarly grounded within the best practices of modern psychology, so there is probably nothing particularly ground-breaking about much of her content; and the book actually covers so many different relational situations, that I (personally) hit a point of emotional over-saturation around chapter 8. That said--the content is all *really good,* and the *way* it is articulated is even better. "The Best of You" feels like time spent sitting with the very best kind of therapist--someone who is wise, trustworthy, and deeply committed to helping you become the best version of yourself.

Thank you to the author and publisher for providing me with a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Dr. Cook--God bless you! and thank you so much for your work.

From personal connections to work clients, I see women facing the challenges of the painful patterns Dr. Cook addresses in this book. It's so common, and yet there is so little support for breaking free from the things holding women back. Dr. Cook does that in this book, providing real-life examples that help you feel seen and understood, and then guiding you through a practice process to heal and uncover the best of yourself. I highly recommend this book to women who are ready to overcome what has been limiting them from the best of who God created them to be.

In "The Best of You", Dr. Alison Cook discusses the patterns and traumas that prevent women from being true to themselves and fully living their lives as God intended. Throughout the book, she reminds us that in order to show up as our true selves, we have to face our wounds and address a number of behaviors that keep us stuck, ranging from people pleasing, to denial of our true emotions. With a warm and straightforward writing style, Dr. Cook provides clear strategies for addressing the obstacles that prevent us from moving forward, while sharing stories of her past struggles, as well as the healing journeys of other women. The book is filled with practical advice on topics such as setting boundaries, creating authentic connections and more. I highly recommend the book and plan to read it again. Thank you, Dr. Cook!

"Envisioning the best of you is the starting point for becoming the woman God made you to become."
Dr. Alison Cook is a Christian psychologist who has quickly become a well-respected expert on the integration of faith and psychology. Her work focuses on emotional and spiritual health, drawing from experts like shame researcher Brene Brown, Internal Family Systems creator Richard Schwartz, and trauma therapist Aundi Kolber. Dr. Cook is gifted at translating complex psychological theories and concepts into easily understandable tips and steps for those beginning their journeys toward emotional health.
In her newest book, The Best of You, Dr. Cook aims to "teach you how to do the hard, beautiful work of becoming--and trusting--your truest, deepest self, in partnership with the God who made you."
The book is divided into four parts. Part 1: Uncover the Hidden You describes concepts like codependency and painful patterns. Part 2: Discover the Best of You includes finding your voice, setting boundaries, and trusting yourself. Part 3: Express the Best of You provides strategies on healing childhood wounds, finding authentic friendships, and healing your relationship with God. Part 4: Live the Best of You commissions readers into a vision of living out these new revelations in their relationships and identity.
This book is very clearly meant for Christian women. Dr. Cook specializes in the integration of psychology and Christianity. As someone who is both a Christian and a psychologist myself, I know how challenging it can be to write and share your ideas with an audience—on one side, you’re too “religious” and on the other side, you’re too “woke”, “liberal”, or “secular.” As I read, I could imagine readers on one side might be uncomfortable with Cook’s emphasis on agency, selfhood, and “becoming your best self”. Readers on the other side may be uncomfortable with the frequent references to God and Scripture. Yet readers who find themselves both open to the wisdom of psychology and grounded in Scripture and faith in God will find a perfect match in The Best of You.
Dr. Cook is most successful when she is deconstructing Christian platitudes with both reverence and deft. I cheered when Dr. Cook debunked Biblical phrases such as “turn the other cheek”, “honor your parents”, and “the heart is wicked and deceitful” in a way that both challenges traditional interpretations of those verses and honors their true intent. I gained the most from the sections on spiritual abuse and spiritual bypassing—a term I learned for the first time from Dr. Cook on social media.
I found myself nodding along and highlighting various sentences to share with my therapy clients (in fact, I have already recommended the book to a few of my clients). The Best of You is probably best for those with a beginner level of knowledge of psychology or those just starting their journey toward emotional health and boundaries. But for those who have spent some time in therapy and are further along in their healing, there may not be much new ground to cover. Dr. Cook offers a good introduction to concepts such as boundaries and codependency as well as some reflection questions to go deeper. The practical action steps and concrete guidance she provides will help readers put abstract psychological concepts into practice.
In Dr. Cook, we find a wise and safe guide who both validates the impact of confusing church messages and spiritual abuse while pointing us toward the One who can provide ultimate healing.
I received a free ARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

“The Best of You” by Dr. Alison Cook - As a follower of the teachings of Dr. Alison Cook, this book makes pure, magical, and instantly usable sense to me. When I applied the seemingly obvious “be good/kind/loving to myself from my God spirit-led self” it virtually takes no time to stop betraying myself or bypassing my pain. Instead, I bear spiritual fruit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, gentleness, and faithfulness — toward other people and toward myself. I no longer need to give in to painful emotions, nor do I deny them. I no longer bend myself into contortions to appear as if I have it all together. I now pause before I people-please, produce, perform, perfect, or peace-keep. I ask myself to check inside and pray before I commit or communicate. I can also apologize, and course correct when I make mistakes. The best part is I now trusts that I can navigate life’s challenges. This book describes in detail with examples how to have a meaningful life with friendships/relationships in a way that guides you with skills and integrity to change your life so that you become the BEST YOU. I’m on a journey and discovering that I am stepping out of my conditioning— out from under my invisibility cloak into the beautiful person God intended, the same way Jesus has shown up for you— with honesty, and love. To many of us grow up with codependent tendencies because of childhood wounds, confusing church messages, and cultural conditioning. Life is all too often busted wide open. It’s messy. And yet, our ability to heal, by design, is beautiful. Superb book, I’d recommend it to everyone.
Bless you Alison, your courage, your journey, and most of all for sharing. I look forward to reading your future books.
With deep love and appreciation,
Annie Harmon

The Best of You challenges me to ask, “What do I want” as I move through each day giving me a new sense of freedom and respect of self! The whole book feels like a gentle guide allowing me to explore who I am and how to choose life-giving paths that honor my core and my Maker. The Best of You is a keeper that I will turn to often as I grow and change with the seasons of life.

This was the best book I have read in a long time. I think I may have highlighted half of it. I will definitely have to go back and read it again there was so many nuggets of wisdom that you just need to sit with and let the goodness sink in. A must read for any woman going through a divorce!!