Now for something completely different than the normal true crime fare. The Ghosts That Haunt Me by Steve Ryan is not your typically true crime book. This is not a memoir where a grizzled detective tells you how amazing he is at solving crimes. It's also not about sensationalizing a bunch of well known murder cases. Instead, this is a blunt and concise retelling of six crimes which have stayed with author Steve Ryan well after retirement from the homicide squad with the Toronto PD.

For those looking for blood and guts or the deep dive into a killer's mind, you will be disappointed with the book. However, I loved it. I felt Ryan told these stories because he had to get them on paper. It was not done to became a bestseller, but because these nightmares are keeping him up at night and he believes the act of writing them down may actually ease that burden. I also appreciate how Ryan keeps the victims in mind in the narrative. Very often, true crime leans toward obsession with the murderer and their deeds. I felt like this book very much was written with the victims in mind and that's just the sign of a good cop. I highly recommend it while warning the reader that Ryan is not kidding about these stories being haunting.

(This book was provided to me as an advance copy by Netgalley and Dundurn Press. The full review will be posted to HistoryNerdsUnited.com on 10/6/2022.)

This book was quite well written. The cases mentioned are all ones I am familiar with.
This is an honest, unflinching perspective.
I highly recommend this book to true crime fans.
I voluntarily reviewed an advance reader copy of this book.

This book Does. Not. Fail. As a investigative forensics student, I was so excited to be approved to read this book by NetGalley.

Steve Ryan does not disappoint in his retelling of the homicides that continue to haunt him. In these quick chapters, you feel the pain of the victim and family and I almost felt as though I was there. I didn’t want the stories to end but was happy that they weren’t bogged down by too much terminology. For true crime fanatics who just want something quick and entertaining, this is perfect.

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

Steve Ryan has been in the police force in Toronto for 30 years and part of that was spent as a homicide detective. This book outlines 6 of the cases he worked on that have haunted him ever since.
It seems awful to say I enjoyed this book when the topics are about murder and how families have suffered it such brutal ways but it was a beautifully written book. It was sad too read in parts but Steve did a wonderful job of telling these peoples stories.
If like me you are a fan of true crime then this is definitely a book you need to read.

Steve Ryan’s The Ghosts that Haunt Me was one of my favorite books of the year. It was an absolute page turner, and I could not put it down. While mainstream media, podcasts, and documentaries are interesting, Ryan has a unique perspective as a retired homicide detective. As a reader, we get to see the background work, emotional trauma, and life-altering experiences that come along with fighting for justice.

I particularly enjoyed the structure of the book – separated by case. Ryan outlines six cases that impacted him the most throughout his career. While learning about the cases themselves was interesting, I particularly enjoyed hearing true crime from the detective’s point of view. We get to learn not only what was going on in the cases, but also get to understand the irreparable harm that homicide has on people far beyond the victim. Ryan explains his navigation of happiness in a world full of pain and death, which helps the reader understand the purpose behind sharing these stories.

Ryan gracefully shows us that death does not discriminate and that there is no way to hide from evil in this world. However, Ryan inspires us to find a way to live for the living and respect the lives that were taken far too soon.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a fascinating book. The realness of the 6 homicides the author writes about is absolutely frightening and horrifying. I'm sure there are many more homicide investigations that he could've written about and choosing 6 was probably a difficult task. I can really understand how his job haunts him. He is a very caring man and sounds like he did an amazing job while he worked as a policeman and detective.

The Ghosts that Haunt Me is a fast read that you don't want to end. As I sit here trying to find the right words, I'm thinking along the lines of a decadent dessert. Remember Beauty and the Beast where Lumiere says "Try the gray stuff, it's delicious!"? That's where I'm going with this. When I stared at my to-be-read pile, I was a little overwhelmed. I figured I'd start at the top to make things easier even if I didn't feel like I was in the mood to read this type of book. Or rather, what I assumed this book was going to be about.



I'll admit, I am not thrilled with the foreward and the intro before the Author dives into his childhood. The foreward felt like a poor attempt to heighten the Author's credibility. I may have read three times by the start of the book that he left homicide and now works a TV gig. The "voice" was a turn-off. Then, once we fall back in time to his childhood and the motivation for why he became a cop is revealed, it all changes. This turned out to be an inspired and motivating read.



I sit on the fence about my feelings in regards to officers. I went to prison for a crime I didn't commit with my arresting officer admitting he lied about things he claimed he saw on his report. He actually admitted that - on the stand, next to the judge. I had a long, ridiculous trial. The cop faced no penalties after he came clean. I'm still bitter. Obviously.

I also got to know cops when I became a witness for a murder trial. These were a different breed. More professional. More serious. More aware. As I read this book, and you get into the head of how the Author feels about each case and it affects him, I constantly thought back to these homicide detectives. I wondered what ghosts they carried with them. I understood.



This never reads like you were handed a script for any of the police procedural shows on TV. I've never been interested in those shows and honestly, I don't get the fascination. Instead, while we are given summaries of each case I feel that every spoken word could honestly be audited from testimony and interviews. There is no feeling that anything was made up to give stories some buoyancy. None was needed. These are very poorly constructed sentences so I apologize if I am incoherent here.



The sadness and the grief are what carry each chapter. There is a job to do and he does it, but he's never fully alright. Remember in Rescue Me, at least at the start of the series, where Denis Leary is repeatedly haunted by all the victims of fires he was not able to save? It's that emotion. Beyond the interesting cases which got to me more than not, it is his view on sadness that tore into me. Not even going to lie here, I started crying within the last ten pages because his words made me think back to the people I have lost.



So there's that.

In The Ghost That Haunt Me by Steve Ryan we’re here truly horrible stories where the murder victims are killed by those who were supposed to love and care for them in the ones where strangers took their life. Either way the stories were said and I can see why they still haunt Detective Ryan. Although he is going on to be a crime analyst for a local TV station he is still haunted by these cases and they are all in this book and if you love true crime you’re definitely going to want to read this. He was a Toronto detective for 13 years but a policeman for 30 and he gives credible remembrances and then one it was a trip to Jamaica in the middle of winter, but the last thing he did was make great memories instead he was there to tell him mother the daughter she thought went to be educated in America was dead. I am so glad I got to read the stories and I’m thankful Mr. Ryan decided to share them with the world. He feels much and conveys all in this book and I appreciate it. Please forgive any errors I am blind and dictate my review but all opinions are definitely my own. I was given this book by Net Galley.

Compulsively readable, I binge read this. If you lived in Toronto during the early 2000s up to 2016, you’ll probably recognize most, if not all of these cases. Such a unique take on a true crime book, where Steve Ryan puts a lot of focus on how a crime can have such an affect on so many people, and how these crimes he talks about still impact him to this day.

Steve Ryan, a veteran of the Toronto homicide squad, tells the tales of six murder investigations among the many that have stuck with him from his time on the force.

I enjoy true crime, and morbid as it is, I really enjoy true crime memoirs – there’s something very visceral about it, when the writer can bring their firsthand viewpoint to the table. And Steve Ryan does it well, with a sympathy and care toward the victims and their families that is badly missed in a lot of true crime.

In the book, Ryan recounts how he came to join the police force, then takes the reader through six cases that spanned his career. Each tale was succinct and well-told, threaded through with just the right amount of personal introspection without detracting from the main subject. I felt the stories were sensitively told and liked learning about how the cases, some seemingly without leads, were tackled.

I did wish sometimes that we saw the personal investigation of Ryan more in the stories – it’s more prominent in the latter cases, but in the first few he plays more of a background role which takes away a little from the immediacy. However, he really hits his stride as the book goes on.

Overall, I really enjoyed this read and will look out for more by this author. Be warned, though, that this is quite intense reading.