Cover Image: What Remains?

What Remains?

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date:

Member Reviews

I was really disappointed in this book. It was told nit in good taste. I felt that the author was not the sort of person that I want to arrange a funeral

Was this review helpful?

This one wasn't for me. I just couldn't connect with the author and his connections wit clients.
It was a really slow read for me and in all honesty i'm surprised i finished it.

Was this review helpful?

Thank you Chelsea Green Publishing and NetGalley for a read which was so different.

This is an absolutely fascinating book. Rupert became what he calls a radical undertaker over 20 years ago, and founded The Green Funeral Company.
The book is part personal memoir and part non-fiction.
I found this so interesting and honest. The book is thought provoking and important and should be read by others.
I would highly recommend this as it really does open your eyes.

Was this review helpful?

Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book.
I am struggling I admit - alot of the highly personal opinions of the author are just that, his alone.
I have not finished the book but do not want to be force-fed someone elses opinions in one sitting. I think this will take me some time to get to the end in small doses.

Was this review helpful?

This is an unusual book by an unusual man.

The author sheds his privileged background (that has been marked by bereavement and grief) to become an "alternative" undertaker.

His politics and finding of himself in rave culture leads him to following this unusual career path. He traces the roots of this choice as he starts his undertaking business with a battered old Volvo, planks of wood and 2 people. He re-invents the funeral service to throw off the shackles of the "market" which offers a set formula -which doesn't always suit the families- and has money as a driver.

He learns from each funeral how to sit with a bereaved family in their grief and how to craft a funeral that really fits the deceased, warts and all. He is firmly against some of the Victorian- inherited traditions and wants to offer an alternative.

He describes how his pre-conceptions are shattered as he deals with death by suicide, babies, traumatic death etc. He also describes some of the processes in detail, breaking taboos along the way. He is firmly against embalming and firmly for families having the opportunity to spend time with the dead person if they want to.

He crafts alternative rites and gets involved with a local natural burial site.

As time goes on he explores alternative magic and gets involved with KLF's "death pyramid" . This is part of him recognising that death is his constant companion and that it takes its toll on his marriage and personal life.

It's an interesting book to make you reconsider your own funeral plan (IF you have one) The acid test being would you want Rupert to be YOUR undertaker ? As he is local to me it's something I am considering as it made me think about the 20 minute slot in the Crematorium with poetry, readings, a eulogy and 3 pieces of music set formula.

I may not align with all his beliefs and politics, but it's time we all had a fresh look at this taboo-ridden part of life- for dying IS part of life and how the "right" funeral can mark and help. the beginning of the grief process .

Thanks to the publishers and Netgalley for an ARC

Was this review helpful?

When he became an undertaker, Rupert Callender undertook to deal with the dead for the sake of the living. What Remains? is the brilliant, unforgettable story of the life and work of a radical undertaker – but it is also a book about ordinary, everyday humanity and our capacity to face death with courage and compassion. To say goodbye to the people we love in our own way.

And in becoming the world’s first ‘punk undertaker’ and establishing the Green Funeral Company in Devon, Ru Callender and his partner Claire challenged the stilted, traditional, structured world of the funeral industry: fusing what he had learned from his own deeply personal experiences with death, with the surprising and profound answers and raw emotion he discovered in rave culture and ritual magick.

From his unresolved grief for his parents and his cultural ancestors to political and religious non-conformists, social outlaws, experimental pioneers and acid house culture, Ru Callender has taken an outsider ‘DIY’ ethos to help people navigate grief and death. He has carried coffins across windswept beaches, sat in pubs with caskets on beer-stained tables, helped children fire flaming arrows into their father’s funeral pyre, turned modern occult rituals into performance art and, with the KLF, is building the People’s Pyramid of bony bricks in Liverpool.

What Remains? is a deeply moving book that will change the way readers think about life, death and the all-important end-of-life experience. As Ru memorably says, ‘Death has shown me unimaginable horror, the unbreakable core of love and courage that lies at the heart of what it means to be human. Overall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Was this review helpful?

I received this book from Netgally in exchange for an honest review.

Please have a look at the blurb of this one as here are my thoughts only.

Earlier this year Queen Elizabeth II died and me, as many other people around the globe, whiteness how a funeral works here in the UK, (Im not British and I was overwhelmed by the whole thing) Obviously this specific funeral wasn’t average at all, yet all the elements of the very standard funeral were present. As I was appalled by the lack of emotion and the over ceremonial of it all, I wasn’t surprised, so I decided to read this book and see if this detachment was a very normal thing here. Sad to say, it really is. But happy to know that there are people who actually cares for the bodies left behind, and the very alive people who have to deal with it.

I enjoy the back story of the author and he lead us into his own mind and paths that he took in order to become an undertaker. All the stories intertwine with the narration make this book worth a read. I wasn’t very happy with the writing style as it kind of jumps from place to place. I think I’d been better if the book was split into short stories or essays as at some point it looses its thread, then the ending seems to go for longer than it was necessary.

The digital ARC was good to read as I could synced to another device , as there are mentions of other cultures funerals and death related rituals, I got curious and downloaded the audiobook version (which I purchased) the author himself reads the book, but his pronunciation of the Spanish words could’ve been improved, his reading voice wasn’t as pleasant as you’d like on an audiobook, so I only heard parts of the audio (anything to do with Día de muertos I wanted to hear) I wouldn’t recommend the audiobook.

The topic is fascinating and his points of view weren’t easy to digest, but I love that he made me think, and his stories brought some very important issues to the table as he explains that in the UK there’s an over practicality and the emotions and bereavement are often set aside (Just like a saw on telly during the Queen’s funeral)

I highly recommend this read as a part of your own mental health, we all are gonna die, and there are things we don’t think to do (or planned too much) while we all should have a better understanding of life and death, funerals are for the living taking part on the process could really help most people getting a sense of closure.

Was this review helpful?

I really enjoyed this book, it had strong charcters, a good plot and kept me interested. would highly reccomend.

Was this review helpful?

I tried really hard to get into this story. Read it on and off for two months but couldn’t get into the story. The premise is interesting but just couldn’t finish it. DNF’d halfway

Was this review helpful?

The hilarious and shocking trials and tribulations of the justice system, and this is from the perspective of a barrister. Excellent book.

Was this review helpful?

Oh my.. What a book.

I was looking forward to reading this book as I was hoping it would be a British version of 'Over Our Dead Bodies' which would also give an insight into Natural Burial Grounds and the ethos around it.

Sadly what I got was a tirade of anger and bitterness. Against traditional funerals. Against religion. Against cremation. Against his parents (a lot). Against public boarding school. Against humanists. Against other natural burial grounds. And of course against capitalism.

This anger was a little hard to take, especially as the author came from a middle class privileged background, where he was sent to boarding school and then received a substantial trust fund when he was 18. Which he moaned about before blowing it all on drugs, raves and questionable businesses. He then decided to be an undertaker as his first job, and based his entire career on going against tradition. Almost for the sake of it.

The author is clearly used to writing short form articles, which doesn't work well as a book as often the ideas within a chapter don't follow, and there is a lot of repetition.

All in all a disappointing read and whilst I learnt a little about natural burials, that didn't seem to be what the book was about. Although the point of the book still escapes me,

Was this review helpful?

Thank you for the ARC.

This is my first book on this subject matter and at first it took me a while to get into it but it was worth it. Very well written, well put together, very honest and I found reading this to be a journey for me as you get swept along it. Some parts a little beyond me but highly recommended.

Fascinating subject area.

Was this review helpful?

This is an absolutely fascinating book. Rupert Callender became what he calls a radical undertaker over 20 years ago, and founded The Green Funeral Company. Part personal memoir and part descriptive non fiction, I found this wonderful, searingly honest book to be both moving and life affirming. Thought provoking and very important, everyone should read this book.
With grateful thanks to NetGalley for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Was this review helpful?

This book was not what I expected, but I found plenty of thought-fodder in it anyway.
While there are descriptions of some of the funerals Rupert arranged, and an impassioned critique of the death industry the book is as much an autobiography as it is a book about undertaking. Rupert dives deep into his own psyche, examining his early experiences with death, with the oppressive environment of boarding school, and with the hospice his mother campaigned for.

There are plenty of gems in there, lines I highlighted and will go back to, but lets be honest, he does ramble. There are parts that went way over my head (the KLF: I think you had to be there) and parts that really resonated with me (the natural cemetery up on the hill, the rituals).

All in all I did really enjoy this, but if you choose to read it be prepared to go on a journey with Ru and death as your companions and have absolutely no idea where you’re going.

Was this review helpful?

This book wasn't a good fit for me. I failed to feel any of the warmth or emotion that the author claimed to have for his clients and the only real emotion I felt from the author was anger towards his mother, which he mentions constantly throughout the book.

I thought there would be more stories about working within the death industry but it's much more a disapproving critique of the industry in general.

I think the book might be saved by better editing but as it stands, it just felt like a chore to read.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for giving me a free digital copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review.

Was this review helpful?

This is my second undertaker / funeral director memoir - and it seems that as long as you can describe yourself as alternative or counterculture, there is plenty of mileage in the genre. What Remains? is very British, and the life and the rebellion contained within are themselves very British too (very restrained childhood, parental death, no grieving, years of public school bullying, independent wealth, drugs and acid-house). From how he writes and his own sense of self-awareness I have known plenty of Rupert Callenders and whilst I feel ideologically closer to him than I would most of his type, I also find that time almost uniformly annoying.

So how to separate the wheat (ideas about how to conduct funerals and grieve) from the chaff (a difficult life, the KLF). The two are weaved in and out of each other pretty seemlessly, though that is because sometimes they have something to say to each other. So I don't doubt that Callendar not being allowed to go to his own father's funeral is at the heart of his drive to make funerals inclusive. His diatribe against embalming on the other hand, because it has next to nothing of the personal in it, feels like an oasis of clarity here, where he isn't having a minor dig at our awful government or his own fucked up childhood. At the heart of it there is a romance with his partner - in work and life - Claire, which feels like a massive hole in the story as they have since split up. It seems amicable, and of course all the stories he tells of her are only complimentary, but it does create a warts and all biography with some of the warts burnt off.

Broadly I was fascinated by the content of What Remains, but the packaging didn't quite work for me. That is a personality thing, it is certainly well written and extremely informative (without replacing the DIY funeral guidebook he pimps regularly in the pages he also wrote). Its clear eyed about the role of ceremony, whatever ceremony that is, in the business of processing death, and the celebrate the good and the bad. Which is what I hope I have done here.

Was this review helpful?

My thanks to NetGalley and Chelsea Green publishing for the opportunity to review this memoir.
Well written but a struggle as it was not exactly what I expected.
The first third of the book was definitely heavy going but I'm glad I persevered as there was the occasional diamond in the rubble.
Although it wasn't for me this is a personal opinion and I'm sure that some people will love it

Was this review helpful?

‘Death has shown me unimaginable horror, the unbreakable core of love and courage that lies at the heart of what it means to be human.’

I was pleased to find a biography of a life as a underaker, specially being set in my home town which was really nice to read. While you read his stages of life from boarding school to a punk undertaker he takes you deeper into a self emploment career how he started from the bottom and rise to make funerals a beautiful intimate service, a truely unique bio, I be happy to buy this copy.

Was this review helpful?

A very powerful and gripping story that is difficult to read in some parts but worth sticking with. This is a first for me by the author and one I enjoyed and would read more of their work. The book cover is eye-catching and appealing and would spark my interest if in a bookshop. Thank you very much to the author, publisher and Netgalley for this ARC.

Was this review helpful?

The way that undertaking has turned into a largely industrial process run by Funeral Directors is an anathema to me. As is pointed out in the book, there are still sympathetic undertakers around but they are becoming more and more subsumed by "the big boys" and corporate greed.

As the book points out, death is an intimate part of our life cycle and should be approached as such.

Can you imagine a live birth being approached and celebrated in the same way that death is?? The death of someone close should be part of the celebration of life and not something rushed and brushed (under the carpet).

Rupert Callender does an admirable job of setting out the reasons for an "old fashioned", personal even intimate acknowledgement of death and the procedures for dealing with it, whatever the age and circumstances of that death. It is his style of writing and his anger at everything else that has crossed his path that I had great difficulty with. If his book had been sold as biography rather than about "the proper way to deal with death", I would have stopped reading it. Fortunately, there was enough substance within his anger to make the book worth reading.

Was this review helpful?