Cover Image: I Am Ace

I Am Ace

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Member Reviews

Ace books and other forms of media are so important. Hearing about different experiences and the community are necessary to sharing what being ace is really like. Thank you for writing down your thoughts and spreading awareness through social media!

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If you are a follower of this website, you’ve probably heard by now that I’ve been on a mission to learn more about asexuality. I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life was the perfect book to aid me on that journey. Cody Daigle-Orians did an excellent job of combining facts about asexuality with his own personal experience to paint a complete picture of what it means to live as an ace person. After reading this book, I feel more knowledgeable on the topic and better able to understand the nuances of the experience.

Daigle-Orians became a public asexual figure with his TikTok “Ace Dad Advice”, and eventually decided to write this book about his experiences and about asexuality as a whole. As a gay man who came out as asexual later in life, he has a wealth of knowledge to share about navigating romantic relationships, coming out, and just generally living your best life as an asexual person.

From learning the definition of the word “asexual”, to exploring microlabels, to each of the other milestones on the journey from asexual birth to death, this book gave advice and explainations for each part of the journey.

I appreciated how easy this book was to read. Everything, even the most complicated of definitions, was explained plainly, and personal anecdotes were interspersed often enough that I was never bored. At certain times, the author would talk about his experiences in a way that was so relatable to me as another member of the LGBTQ+ community that it made me cry. I loved hearing about the acceptance which he received, the way that being a public ace figure inspired other young men, and how even as an Ace micro-celebrity he was still moved by seeing young asexual people living their best lives.

It isn’t that everything in the book was sunshine and rainbows— Daigle-Orians was fairly forthright about the aphobia in our society today. It isn’t easy to exist when you don’t fit into the norm! However, the way that he focused on queerness as action and activism, as well as all of the positives that come from living your most authentic self, truly resonated with me as a reader.

Regardless of your sexuality, I highly recommend reading this book as an easily digestible guide to asexuality, as well as for more insight into Daigle-Orians personal journey.

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I think the thing this book does best is offer a break down of being ace and then also different topics that intersect with asexuality (including intersectionality). The author provides many ways a person can be asexual and then also includes conversations about aromantisicm, microaggressions, relationships, etc. And even then the author is clear that there’s no one right or wrong way to be asexual.

This book is something I think would be something someone who’s already knowledgeable about the queer and ace community could read, but it could also be something to be passed on as educational material for someone who’s not as involved in the queer or ace community.

Thank you to NetGalley for making this available in exchange for an honest review!

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I had no idea who this man was before I picked up the book but I’m glad I know now, his TikTok videos are so informative and, being an older person, is giving a lot of younger asexuals hope and positivity for their futures.

This was so well written, accessible and informative without drowning you in words and was easy to understand. It contained a multitude of resources, and promoted the reader to be themselves and always be authentic.

I’d really recommend this to those who are learning about their own identities, who are newly asexual and also to those learning about a loved one who has come out to you as asexual. It really contains everything you need to know to get started and where you can go if you want more information.

Solid 4.5/5 stars!

Thank you netgalley for the advanced copy.

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This is such a thorough, informative, supportive book. It will be great for people new to exploring their asexuality and also for those who know ACE folks and want to understand and support them. This broke down so many stereotypes and misconceptions. I have a much clearer understanding of the many facets of asexuality now. The author is warm and relatable and covers so much. A great resource.

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I loved this book. Asexuality is a letter in the alphabet mafia I was woefully unfamiliar with. This book felt like sitting down for a cup of tea by the fire and learning all about it.

Daigle-Orians is homoromantic and asexual and brings anecdotes and pieces of his own story into his writing. He starts with a very narrow scope of defining asexuality and asexuality and the person, then expanding to partnership and relationships and finally expanding to asexuality and the world.

This book was a real learning opportunity and I really just want to thank Cody for allowing us into his journey, and taking us on this shared journey together. Highly, highly, highly recommend.

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This is a great, informative but also very personal book on being asexual. I'm so excited for all of the ace and aro-centered titles being released in 2023, and this is at the top of the pile! I wish I'd had these around when I was growing up, but they're super useful and interesting even now, for those who are on the ace/aro spectrums as well as those who aren't.

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as someone that has been trying to find out if asexuality is the term for me, i found this book really amazing. both interesting and insightful, definitely recommend reading this

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I have been following Cody for a while on TikTok and I have always felt seen and validated, as I am also an elder ace that realised is ace within the last year! This book is what I would have needed when I was younger, many things would have made lots of sense! But it is also what I needed now, I have known about asexuality for a while, as I have a couple of pals that told me they were ace a few years back. It is very straightforward and full of information for everyone who is exploring asexuality or just wants to know more about it, as it is a good intro!

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I Am Ace is a great non-fiction book about asexuality, which is great for both people who know about and haven't encountered any information on the topic before. It is very short and easy to read, unlike many other non-fiction books, and isn't very statistic-heavy. Cody Daigle-Orians does a great job of explaining different aspects of asexuality and giving insightful advice to aces, as well as sharing his own experiences and making the book more engaging. I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would, and definitely recommend it!

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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Exploring I am Ace has been a treat. I'm new to the idea that I am ace and this has given me an opportunity to explore what that means to me. Haven't finished it quite yet, but so far, I am enjoying it.

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This is the perfect beginners guide to what being Asexual means, both the ways that many people who identify as Ace define asexuality, as well as how they live their lives and is the perfect bite-sized guide for anyone questioning whether how they experience attraction to others might just be a bit different to the majority.

Highly recommend, though would possibly recommend to younger readers over older, and was a little disappointed by the 'coming out' section, but only as i would love for us to get to the stage where people in the LGBTQIA+ community don't feel they need to do this as everyone is accepted equally (but I do admit this seems a long way off yet).

I learnt a lot and would read more my the author about his experiences if they were to write more.

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This book is really a 101 level book written with the young person who is just starting to ask themselves if they're really ace, that person isn't me. If you are looking for a deep dive in ace theory this isn't the book for you, if you don't think you might be ace you might only find limited value in this book.

Now I know this all sound like I didn't care for this book but that would be wrong, this is the kind of book that I think should be in school libraries, this is the kind of book I wish I had had access to when I was a teenager so I'm glad that it exists now. A lot of this book hinges on providing an explanation of micro labels as a way of showing how diverse the asexual experience is. Cady expresses a lot of genuine tenderness which is always refreshing in an educational piece, especially one that is directed towards younger people. The author does a pretty banging job of reminding the reader at every turn that labels are tools, that they can be descriptive but that they should not be prescriptive that it's okay to change them if they no longer align with who we are and that part was so very comforting.

I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I was unaware of who the author was/that until I started reading so this review is not influenced by being a fan.

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Overall a great resource for anyone who's questioning if they're asexual or just need affirmation and validation in their asexuality. The author did a great job going over pretty much everything asexuality encompasses and different aspects of the experience and culture as well as how to navigate an allo world. That being said as someone on the asexual spectrum that's much further along on my journey I didn't find it very helpful personally. That being said I'm sure it'll be really important for others who aren't very far on their journey. It would also be great for anyone who's partner is on the ace spectrum.

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Informative and interesting read. It’s great seeing more and more Ace books out there, to see representation increase. Great read for those who identify as Ace and those who just want to know more

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I've started reading a lot of asexual nonfiction lately, and while this wasn't really my favorite, I still thought it was solid and I liked that it wasn't afraid to feel personal!

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Thank you to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the ARC of this book, which will be published on January 19th, 2023.

This book is part memoir, part advice, part self help book all about (most) of the Asexual eperience. Cody Daigle-Orians goes through many questions that one may have about being asexual, and a little guidebook that feels like a pocket guide. I am biased as I am asexual and understand a lot of the concepts that the author brings up throughout the book.

This book is perfect for those questioning if they are asexual, those who are just understanding their identity, and/or for people who want to know more information about asexuality. The author goes through each topic succinctly and to the point which helps point out each curvature of the asexual experinece, and does it well without sounding too much like a professor. There are books out there that dive deep into the intricacies and intersectionalities that Asexuality holds, but for this type of nonfiction novel, it isn't necessary because it is not the type of book that it is. This is a great starting point and I would reccomend it to anyone who wants to start understanding the sexual orientation.

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I only realized I was Ace a couple years ago, though I’ve known since I was a teen at least that I wasn’t like most of my friends and classmates. I think it would have done a world of good to have had a book like this when I was younger. I appreciate how many aspects of asexuality this book touches on because it’s a complicated topic. This wouldn’t be the only book on the topic worth reading but I think it’s a really good first book to open up that world.

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Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this book.

This is the book I wish I had when I was high school. It would have made everything so much easier for me to understand what I was feeling and saved myself years of searching. Cody Daigle-Orians gives us a full view at asexuality that is so often missing. Not just the orientation, but it's place in community and also a little of his personal journey, which so many of us share. This is a must-read for anyone who wants a little more information or is questioning if they fall under the asexual umbrella.

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This book is for people of all ages who are ace, questioning, allies, parents, and all people who could use some advice on how to navigate a world filled with societal norms. I Am Ace contains clear definitions and information that is detailed without being dense. Sprinkled throughout are delightful, helpful tidbits from the author’s own life as a queer, ace human.

One of my favorite things is how the author talks about the purpose of labels and micro labels. If you follow Cody on social media, you've probably heard him say, "Labels are tools, not tests." By clearly defining labels and micro labels, he helps ace and questioning folks understand themselves better, have language to talk about their experiences, and release the pressure of getting it "right" or thinking a label is irrevocable.

This book may be geared towards a person who is questioning or new to their asexuality, but it would be so helpful for many kinds of readers. Another one of my favorite sections was where Cody talked about negotiating consent with partners. Imagine a world where we all had open, honest, (probably uncomfortable), conversations with partners about boundaries around intimacy. Imagine we had those conversations regularly, because boundaries and desires change, often moment to moment. His ideas and tools for how to have these ongoing discussions are brilliant and immediately useful for anyone in a relationship. (And not just sexual or romantic relationships.)

The best thing about this book is that it affirms that asexuality is just another human experience. Being ace doesn't mean you're broken. It doesn't mean your boundaries are less important than a partner's. It doesn't mean you're a liability. It doesn't mean that you are less than anyone else. Ace people are whole, awesome, fully formed humans. Everything about this book uplifts that idea. The author gives practical, actionable advice and enriches the information with stories from his own experience. Cody is a cheerleader, an educator, and an example of one ace person living their best life.

I Am Ace is informative, affirming, empowering, and -- above all -- JOYFUL! I felt warmly educated, uplifted, and validated. I hope every ace person who reads it feels seen and cared for, like I did. Thank you, Cody.

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