A must read for anyone questioning whether they are ace or on the asexual-spectrum and a valuable resource for anyone wanting to learn about asexuality. I personally really loved this book. I don’t typically read nonfiction but I wanted to read this as someone who is ace but was still lacking confidence in my sexuality and was also unable to articulate some of the experiences and thoughts I had. Reading this was incredibly helpful in not only explaining the concepts I had trouble with, but also giving me the confidence to truly embrace my asexual identity.

The writing is simplistic and super easy to read despite its complex subject material. The metaphors and analogies used were relatable, easy to understand, and humorous a lot of the time. And despite its simplicity, the author acknowledges that some terms and concepts could not be summed up in a few short sentences, which is something I’m glad was mentioned. Furthermore, the abundance of resources included at the end of the book was amazing; not only further reading, but also a-spec fiction books and ace activists, educators and content creators to follow which I thought was super important.

I really loved the chapter on microaggressions because even though I already knew those microaggressions to be untrue, it helped to deconstruct them in a way that I understood and thus I could finally articulate exactly why they were untrue, instead of merely knowing they were. That applies to the whole book; it was incredibly helpful in explaining some concepts that I only vaguely knew about and some I’d never even heard of. And whilst there is quite a bit of new information, the book is structured in little sections that make it easy to put down and pick back up, so there is no need to take it all in at once. I also loved how the book ended on such a lovely note. (And slightly off topic but I did not realise I followed the author on Tiktok until about 60% through the book but that was a fun surprise!)

If I had any issues, it’s that I did wish it went into more detail at times, specifically in how the asexual experience can be impacted by other identities like your ethnicity or gender identity, but it did not take away from the reading experience, particularly as there were additional resources provided that do offer deeper analyses.

Overall, a great book that serves as an expansive but easy to read introduction into asexuality and the many experiences that asexual people may go through.

This may very well be my favorite comprehensive book on asexuality that I’ve come across yet. This went above and beyond any other book I’ve read on asexuality that, comparatively, felt a bit more basic and rudimentary. They would only ever skim the surface of all that asexuality is and can be for many different people. Because after all, asexuality is far from being a monolith, which is one of the points that Cody drives forward in this book, delving into all of the intricacies, nuances, and micro identities that fall under the umbrella of experiences that is asexuality.

Even just reading this myself, I came across nuances explained in the book that I myself experienced in my own asexual identity but always struggled to come to terms with because I feared that it made me “not asexual enough” or “not really asexual.” But it was only because I didn’t have the vocabulary until now. This just shows that your identity can constantly shift and grow as you gain new insight into asexuality that you hadn’t know before. This is just one of the many reasons why this book is so, so important, not only in highlighting these other micro identities that are seldom discussed about in detail, but in Cody’s insistence to the reader that your journey with asexuality is yours and yours alone. There is no “right” way to be asexual. There is no checklist or official diagnostic sheet that grants you the right to call yourself asexual. Your identity is whatever feels right to you.

I also just really appreciated that this book had genuinely useful information for asexuals in their everyday lives, from how to know when the right time is to come out that makes sense to you (or if you need to come out at all), to navigating the realm of dating and relationships as asexual. This gives so much more of a jumping off point for asexuals to even after finishing this book, to incorporate and practice in their own lives that goes so far beyond just a basic Asexuality 101 with basic terms and vocabulary.

This was simultaneously the most in-depth and most validating, affirming book for any asexual to read. Cody not only brings in-depth knowledge of asexuality to his book but also comes forward with such empathy and reassurance, reminding us that our asexuality is not something to apologize for but a part of ourselves that should be celebrated and embraced. This is a must-read for anyone who belongs to the A!

I was interested in reading this book because I wanted to learn more about asexuality. This book provides an excellent and accessible introduction to asexuality and the asexual spectrum; I would recommend it anyone who wants a better window into this under-represented and misunderstood group, but especially to anyone pondering how they fit into the broad realm of human sexuality, to parents trying to understand their children, and to educators and counselors.

I could not have asked for a better introduction to this topic.

(I will post a mini-review of this on my blog on July 23, and will prompt again in January upon the book's publication.)