5/5 stars!

WHEN I TELL YOU I SOBBED!
The writing in this book is amazing, I could see the personalities of the characters very well and therefore understand their feelings and their choices. The relationship between both Emery & her mother and Emery & Kaiden was beautifully explained.
And yes I cried a lot

The ending was expected, but that didn't mean it was bad. There were plot twists and foreshadowing.

I would recommend it to everyone who loves new adult, heart breaking, tear-jerking books
;)

I absolutely LOVED this book. I rarely cry but this one got me. B. Celeste's way of writing completely consumes you, allows you to to fall in love, get your heartbroken and be changed forever. I highly recommended this beautiful story.

This author has been on my radar for quite a while now and I’m impressed. This is one of those books that you want to stay up late to finish reading. Because that’s exactly what I did. This book is absolutely heartbreaking, beautiful and so well written. It’s also something I didn’t know I needed. Right around the third chapter is where I literally couldn’t put this book down. I don’t want to say anything or get into any details about it because I’m sure I’ll give something away. I just know going into this book that you are most likely to cry and feel so many emotions throughout your entire read. The last three chapters I read with tears in my eyes.

This is my first read going into 2023 and it’s already on my list of top reads for this year!

You’ve stolen a piece of my heart, Barbara.

This book is giving my very rare six star rating!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Screw you, Barbara indeed! You will be paying for my therapy bills cause this book broke me so badly! I cried so long my eyes hurt and they're so swollen. There were so many scenes that just hit home and it just made me cry my eyes out and I hate crying. This book made me cry so much cause I related to it so much. I lost a family friend to cancer a few years back and I remember when we got the news about his death and I couldn't believe it. I ended up going to the bathroom and crying cause just the week before he was fine. Well, as fine as he could be and he wasn't the only one I ended up losing. So reading about Emery's struggle with her sister's death and what her mom became because of it just had me crying, not only that cause she dealing with all of this but on top of that, she has to deal with her own sickness which her sister died from so wow. Talk about having to deal with a lot. There were times I wanted to crawl into the pages of the book to just give her a hug. Something that I wasn't blessed with whenever I needed one but the difference is that Emery has Kaideeennn! (<--- insert in a sing-song voice). Now, not gonna lie, Kaiden was a total asshole at first. Could. not. stand him. But it ended up with Emery confronting her dad about nobody knowing about her when their relationship start to bloom. This man was not perfect if anything he had his own pile of trauma that he was trying to deal with but it's what made them understand each other more. They both were beginning to heal and move on from the past to live in the now, which obviously had me crying all over again. But cause life is a son of bitch, it all started to go downhill again but this time they had each other to support each other. It was so GOOD but then Miss Celeste had to pull what she pulled and I started crying all over again!

(Also when I read this book there was one song that just came to mind which just made me cry even more -when I tell you I was a mess I was a MESS this is why I read these books at night- the song is called In the Stars by Benson Boone. Listen to it if you haven't already. )

OH MY GOSH!!!! Underneath The Sycamore Tree written by Barbara "B" Celeste was the most perfect book to start off with for 2023. This book was so good, but yet so gut wrenching and heart tugging. My emotions were all over the place while reading this beautiful book, from smiling, giggling at the cute moments, to having uncontrolled sobs. Underneath The Sycamore Tree was so raw, yet it was so beautifully written. I often question myself on why I read the most heart tugging books, but I can't seem to find an answer as to why I put myself through that pain. I loved all of the characters, even though a certain one kind of annoyed me at first. I have never read this author before, but I will definitely read her other books. At times it felt like I was on the world's most craziest roller coaster ride gripping the side of my blanket. I don't know how else to explain this beautiful story. Please do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this book. From the very first page and the very first minute I started reading, I knew this book was going to be unputdownable. In my opinion, there's nothing better than eating a whole bag of chips while trying to control your tears. Underneath The Sycamore Tree will definitely be a book that stays with me for years and years to come.

THANK YOU TO NETGALLEY AND SOURCEBOOKS BLOOM BOOKS FOR AN ARC OF THIS BOOK IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST REVIEW!!!!!!!

🎶Music Playlist🎶
Wasted On You- Morgan Wallen (I added this one myself)
In My Blood- Shawn Mendes
Nobody's Home- Avril Lavigne
You Are My Sunshine- Elizabeth Mitchell
I hate you, I love you- Gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien
Late Thoughts- Hanx
Team- Noah Cyrus & Max
How You Remind Me- Nickelback
Goodbyes- Post Malone ft. Young Thug
My Immortal- Evanescence
Soon You'll Get Better- Taylor Swift

"It doesn't matter what battle you're fighting, it only matters that you're willing to fight".

Emery Matterson is diagnosed with the very same thing that took her twin sister, an incurable autoimmune disease. Emery lost her twin sister, Logan. Emery did everything for Logan while she was slowing losing her battle. Logan and Emery weren't exactly the same person, but Emery did everything her sister liked to do, such as being a cheerleader, but none of Logan's friends really liked Emery, which absolutely broke my heart. Before Emery lost Logan they basically did everything together, from baking with their mother, to always being filled with laughter and smiles. Before Logan died, their father decided to leave their family for good. When Logan needed doctor appointments, their father would use work as an excuse. After Logan died, everything changed, Emery's mom's eyes would change a different color when she was crying, but the last thing that broke Emery was having her mom call her Logan.

After that happened, Emery decided to leave Bakersfield, California to move to New York and be with her father for a fresh start, and to finish out her senior year. Emery got held back because she missed so much school spending time with Logan. Emery's dad now has a new wife, Cam, and his stepson, Kaiden. When Emery is diagnosed with the same disease that killed her twin sister, and her mother falling apart, Emery can't live under the same roof as her mother anymore, the only option for Emery is to move in with her father that she hasn't seen in ten years and try to start over. Emery holds baggage with her father for leaving them, but if Logan was still here on this earth she would want Emery to forgive their father and try to build a good relationship with each other. But nothing is harder for Emery than new beginnings, Emery is worried she will never get a chance to truly live.... until she meets her step brother, Kaiden Monroe. Kaiden is a brooding lacrosse athlete with more than enough baggage of his own.

Kaiden makes Emery feel normal, hatred, cared for, loved, and loathed. Kaiden was so sweet and kind towards Emery, but at the beginning he kind of pissed me off, you'll know why once you read the book. But, after you get past that point, Kaiden is such a sweet soul. Cam, Emery's step mom, opened Emery with open arms and made her feel loved as well, Cam has done so much for Emery that Emery's own mother couldn't offer. When Emery would go to Logan's grave and talk to her, it absolutely shattered my heart and made me sob like a little baby. As Emery cried multiple times, it made me want to reach into the book and give Emery the biggest hug ever. She just deserved the absolute world. If you do decide to read this book, have at least two boxes of tissues close by. I'm so sorry for how long this review is, but this book was so raw and beautiful, I can't help it. I absolutely love how Emery's dad was willing to build a healthy relationship with his daughter despite past mistakes. As i'm writing this review, my heart is still shattering, so i'm going to stop it here.

I’m actually rating this 4.5 stars 🌟

I truly have no words for the amount of feelings I had while reading this book. One of the things I appreciated about this read was its take on chronic conditions and ‘invisible illnesses’. In the case of this story, it’s Lupus. Theoretically speaking, I understand why people refer to certain chronic conditions as invisible illnesses, but that terminology drives me nuts because the audacity that one has to assume another person is healthy because they “don’t look ill”? Are they in that person‘s body? What is that? OK I need to chill.

Emery’s journey held my attention the entire time I was in her story. Her love of reading and her ability to get lost in a book to escape her reality is some thing I deeply relate to. I feel like this book did a fantastic job in describing grief, loss and how it affects different people, even within the same family. My advice to you is to pick up this book and bring all of the boxes of tissues in your home along with it 🤧

𝔽𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤:
✨ Chronic illness gives little wiggle room for peace of mind. Having “good” days doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there; it just means that it’s not as noticeable—like a limb that’s sort of falling asleep but still functioning. Days where I have energy can end abruptly for no reason other than fate playing games with me
✨ Reality is ugly and painful and full of the kind of heartache that some books help you forget exist for a short period
✨ Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It just means that it can no longer control our lives

✨ARC Review✨

“I find that the books with the saddest endings are the best because they make us feel. We don’t always get a happily ever after no matter how hard we work for it.”

⚠️Heed my warning: if your books must contain an HEA, then this is not for you (there is not one). If reading about death/chronic illness bothers you, this is not for you. If you don’t do well with emotionally wrecking books, again not for you. Lastly, if you don’t enjoy the stepbrother romance trope, turn away.

Did this book wreck me? ABSOLUTELY, but it was beautiful. Beautifully written, and full of love, loss, reparation, and awareness. I won’t go much into detail as the synopsis speaks for itself, but it involves chronic illness, death, love, and loss, while impacting multiple relationships. This was incredibly hard for me to digest, and I felt it in my core from the beginning how this was going to play out and ultimately end. I chose to carry on and allowed myself to be gutted. The writing was beautiful yet heartbreaking. It brought truth and emotion, love and pain.

What’s On The Pages:
-chronic illness
-death / grief
-no HEA
-stepbrother romance
-love / loss
-mending of multiple relationships

⚠️CW/TW: chronic illness, death of a sibling, stepbrother romance

✨Rating✨
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

A special thank you to NetGalley and Bloom Books for this eARC! Underneath The Sycamore Tree is out today! (This was a previous book written years ago by the author, now picked up with a new cover by a major publisher)

I grabbed this one because someone said it was like Colleen Hoover. So of course I jumped on that one. Sadly it let me down. It felt kind of like a mash of up of things like Five Feet Apart for adults. And the romance was kind of weird. I think that for me this just wasn't my type of story.

My first B. Celeste book and it was definitely a book that stirred many feelings. Tough to read at times but I was happy I did. Not sure I would recommend widely but would recommend this to a specific audience.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest review and opinion.

4 ⭐️

After seeing a recommendation for this book from a friend, I went in without even reading the blurb. This story is amazing. The variety of emotions it makes you feel can make it hard to read, but it is so worth it at the end. It is a great book to start the year!

Emery Matterson is definitely broken, but she tries not to let it show. We learn that her twin sister, Logan a.k.a. Lo, died when they were children after battling lupus. Sadly, Emery also has lupus, though she is eighteen. The loss of Lo was extremely difficult for their mother, who goes into a deep depression basically pushes Emery away. Their father was noticeably absent when Lo died, but still had limited contact. In an effort to get away so her mother might heal, Emery decides to move in with her estranged father and his new wife, Cam, and step-son, Kaiden.

After moving in, Kaiden kept Emery at arms length and was brutally honest. This refreshing interaction led Emery and Kaiden to get closer in their way, offering Emery opportunities and many different firsts she may not have otherwise encountered.

This story is told in such a raw and honest way that you feel all of the emotions. I loved every minute of it, even when it was breaking my heart.

Thank you NetGalley and Bloom Books for an e-book for honest review.

5 out of 5 stars.

My first read of this year 2023 and I'm satisfied to have picked this book in order to start my reading journey for the year. Just the perfect Emotional read I needed.

Emery - I almost forgot she's a fictional character. I was hoping that she'll find ways to ease her pain. This girl truly went through so much and she's so strong enough to let the pain over take her. If the loss of the twin is not enough to tolerate then she herself is facing all the pains and aches her twin has faced. When her mom should support her she sent her away to her dad who abounded her sister and mom. Luckily she was having a sweet step mom (Cam) who helped her female better with her health condition. I just wanted to hug her so tight and cry with her telling all her pains would vanish soon.

Kaiden - As much as he appeared to be a Jerk. I somewhere sensed he was protecting her. The reason behind him taking care of his Stepsister was something I didn't expect. Each time he called her mouse it was really adorable.

“I was about to risk getting arrested just to see you. Do you know how damn hard it was standing out there while they had you in here?” This line when he told her while she was in the ICU.... just made me cry even harder.

How can someone be so sweet? God! Why wasn't he able to have his mouse forever in all his games as she promised him?

Tropes:-
Hate to love
Stepsister/Stepbrother
Chronic illness
Tragedy
Small Town

Everyone should read this book to know how much we should value a day in our life. If anyone's is in a need of a heartwrenching book please go ahead with you and I'm sure you won't regret.

Thank you so much @netgalley and @authorbceleste for the ARC of this extraordinary book with the best plot line.

Oh wow.
If ever I was going to cuss out an author, this would be the book to do it.

Besides pulling intently on my heartstrings, Ms Celeste managed to rip it out, then stomp on it for good measure

While I have no experience with a disease of this nature, I can only imagine how hard it is to know that one day—soon—you are going to lose the battle with your own body.

Reading a book like Under The Sycamore Tree is such a treat. It not only reminds you to embrace your life but also puts into perspective some of the daily struggles people with "invisible illnesses" deal with. As one of those people (with an invisible illness), this story really resonated with me. While I may look fine from the outside, some days it is a struggle to find the motivation to get things done. Anyway, I digress.

If you are looking for a book with hearts and flowers and all the good feelings, this is definitely NOT the book for you.

This book will suck you in, tear you up and leave you with a gaping hole where your heart was. But I couldn't love it anymore if I tried.
One of the best books I have EVER read.

I thought the chronic illness rep was done really well but the relationship in the story was a hard pass for me.

I absolutely adore B. Celeste's writing - her words are so beautiful, and her stories are always so heart-wrenching. Underneath the Sycamore Tree was no exception. Emily and Kaiden's story is very hard-going at times; there is so much loss and sadness that in parts I had to take a break to just steady my nerves. The thing is, I always trust this author to get me through the pain and bring me out the other side...and she did just that.
This book is so gorgeously written and I fell in love with it right from the start.

Get your tissue ready. Underneath the Sycamore Tree is heartbreaking. It explores reinforcing familial relationships heavily strained by invisible diseases and the harsh realities of them when someone is diagnosed with one. In 368 pages, you are immersed in the head of 19-year-old Emery Matterson, a high-school student, grappling with these realities. Her thoughts convey sadness, and depression, but also gleanings of reflection and hopefulness. 

Although I enjoyed Underneath the Sycamore Tree for the first-person narrative, near the midpoint, it became challenging to read, and left me unsure. Despite tugging on my heartstrings and forming a likeness towards Emery, because of the forbidden love element, I still have mixed feelings about it and that’s the reasoning behind my rating.

My rating is 3.5/5. I enjoyed it for being informative and entertaining, however, I do recommend this book with a hint of neutrality and caution. :-) This book has a specific audience. Try it out. This may be your next great read. 

Many thanks to Bloom Books, B. Celeste, and NetGalley for an Advanced Review Copy in exchange for an honest review. My review/reaction is voluntary, all thoughts are mine and unbiased, and receiving the ARC does not influence my rating and/or recommendation.

My full review: https://readingbeyondthebookcover.com/book-reaction-underneath-the-sycamore-tree-by-b-celeste/

Underneath the Sycamore Tree
B. Celeste
5 ⭐️

OMG this book is beautiful inside an out! As soon as I saw the words “for anyone who loves Colleen Hoover” I instantly clicked to request. So happy that I did. I loved it so much. It gave me a little Heartbones, and Hopeless vibes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Blurb: Time is a luxury we don’t all have… Emery Matterson’s life has been broken for a while. First, she lost her twin sister to an incurable autoimmune disease, then her father left, then her mother fell apart when Emery herself was diagnosed with the same disease that killed her sister. The only option for emery seems to be to move in with the father she hasn’t seen in ten years, and start over. Enter Kaiden Monroe, the brooding athlete who has baggage of his own. Kaiden makes Emery feel normal. Hated. Cared for. Loathed And…loved.

“The trouble with time is that we only think we have it. It’s an illusion—an excuse to linger in existence. Some people use it to be reckless; others use it to hold themselves back.”

Underneath the Sycamore Tree was an emotional, gut-wrenching story that had me full on crying and wanting to sing you are my sunshine. 🎶 It wasn’t easy to read, but the story and the characters were so beautifully written, and perfectly paced, that it was absolutely worth the heartbreak.

“I find that the books with the saddest endings are the best because they make us feel. We don’t always get a happily ever after no matter how hard we work for it.”

What I Loved;
🌳 Coming of age/NA romance
🌳 Chronic illness rep
🌳 Emotional journey
🌳 ALL the feels

A story that will having you feeling ALL the feels, and one I will definitely recommend to everyone.

Thank you Netgalley and Bloom Books for the advance digital copy in exchange for my honest review! I honestly loved it and I can’t wait to add the stunning finished copy to my shelves.

I finished this book feeling bereft and full of emotions. Having read books by B. Celeste in the past, I was not expecting this story and its characters to have such a chokehold on me. There is death, divorce, autoimmune disease diagnosis, chronic pain, grief, moving away, starting over, falling in love. I was definitely not expecting the outcome. Nonetheless, Emery and Kaiden's story is a beautiful one. The author's note at the end of the book helped piece together those parts of me that broke apart and shed some light and understanding into her thought process.

I received an advance copy of this book at my request and voluntarily left this review.

I felt so many emotions reading this, from the pain and heartache to the loss and feeling of understanding behind really loving someone.
While I was completely enthralled from page 1 till the very end. I felt like I was best friends with these characters till the very last page and I’m going to miss them greatly!
If you can go into this blind I would, it’s the best way to get the full effect and feel every word the way you should!

This is a heavy topic that creates some dark spots in the book and can be difficult for some readers. Underneath the Sycamore Tree was a book I had to put down for a break and it was sometimes hard to pick back up; because of the subject matter. I commend the author for bringing an honest and raw view into a misunderstood world that she herself lives in. While harder to recommend this book to the masses, I would encourage those who are intrigued by the synopsis, to give it a chance.

The chronic illness representation is this book is really well done. My heart ached for Emery and the pain she experienced on a daily basis. She was so tough and determined, I really enjoyed her character. Unfortunately for me, the relationship piece just wasn’t my favorite. I wish it could have been a strong friendship that was built from the characters bonding over their shared grief and learning to heal rather than the direction the story took. I felt disconnected from those pieces of the story because of that and didn’t enjoy it as much as I hoped.