A brilliant and scathing examination of the ballet industry and the complex ways patriarchy, misogyny, and the glorification of femininity all intersect within some of the artform's more harmful expectations. tw for inappropriate sexual relationships btw older/powerful men and younger/less powerful women, grooming, and mega tw for eating disorders. Highly recommend for anyone who has interacted with the ballet world in ways large or small, but particularly for any who spent formative years dancing themselves.

I enjoyed parts of this book but honestly had a hard time getting through it, especially after about 40% in. I love books about ballet, even though I've never been a dancer. I found the feminist spin on ballet to be so interesting though and I never thought about how ballet dancers can be considered the "ideal women" based on the traits they learn in ballet. All in all, I gave it 3 stars.
*I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

I loved this book of essays on ballet from Alice Robb, a former Balanchine dancer. Each chapter is a meditation on a theme, like pain, eating disorders, or movement, and how it relates to her experiences and the experiences of other dancers as they've described them in their memoirs. I found it to be well researched and expressive, and it really hit me as a former dancer myself. I would recommend this book to any former or current dancer for sure!

Less of a memoir than a collection of many dancers' experiences, but reader looking for stories about the strength and resilience required of professional dancers will find a lot to enjoy here. Thank you to NetGalley for a digital review copy.

Thank you Netgalley and Mariner Books for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

"Don't Think Dear: On Loving and Leaving Ballet" by Alice Robb is a memoir about the author and her classmate's experience at an elite ballet school.


I would give "Don't Think Dear: On Loving and Leaving Ballet" by Alice Robb a 1-star review because, this is suppose to be a memoir but it felt more like a textbook with how long the chapters are, everything felt disoriented, their were more quotes from official things then about the experiences about the author and her classmates and it felt more like a memoir about them giving up their dreams of ballet and explaining their reasoning.

As a ballet instructor for adults and the AD of my own ballet company, I read this book with a lot of interest. Alice Robb's book is a research-based memoir, if that can be a thing, and I loved reading about her own perspective. I invite her to take class with me! She would find a community of supportive students as well as great technique and fun choreography: those things do not have to be mutually exclusive.

I have read just about every memoir out there from ballet dancers, ex-ballet dancers, etc. and this was definitely one I would recommend to ballet fans as well as readers who want to know more about the "cult of Balanchine."

Thanks to Netgalley for the arc to review.

An absolutely amazing story of the lives of females who want to bercome ballet dancers in the American School of Ballet. I have never read about such fortitude and determination in dancers. Th4e book should be mandatory for any woman whose child want to become one.

One of the most incredible reads I have every read.

I love reading about ballet, and the life of dancers. That being said, this book fell a little flat for me. I was expecting more of a memoir than this turned out to be; probably my fault for not paying attention to the book description.
My main issue was the fact that half of the book seemed to be references and quotes from other people’s memoirs and books about ballet. Why am I reading this book when, clearly, so many others have already said it better?
Thanks to #netgalley and #marinerbooks for this #arc of #dontthinkdear in exchange for an honest review.

I was super intrigued by the title and cover of this book when I first saw it and just knew I had to pick it up. having danced for 10+ years before deciding to quit as a teenager, I resonated a lot with many of the stories and remarks made in this book - I will admit parts of it were even quite emotional to read as I was able to relate to a lot, especially the whole idea of ballet following you even years after quitting and being such a big part of one's persona.

thus, I thought that this book was well-done in the sense that it was very insightful and it was very intriguing to hear so many former ballerina's stories. seeing how ballet and dance as a whole affected them, paired with a bit of the history behind ballet, was very interesting.

however, this also became one of my problems with the book. I was expecting much more of a memoir-style novel which we get bits and pieces of, but there was also a lot of extra information and even some research included. at times, it simply felt a bit jumbled in my opinion and I was a bit overwhelmed by the varying tangents that were included as the author switched between different people's stories and new anecdotes.

additionally, it took me a long time to finish the book due to the sheer length of each chapter. since the chapters were so long, it was not a book I could just pick up in a moment of free time.

overall, I do think that I would recommend this book though, especially if you are a former dancer as it was ultimately very insightful and relatable!

I thought this was going to be a memoir on life in ballet and how difficult it is to make it and eventually give up your dream and leave. Instead, the part I got through, which admittedly wasn't much, was just a regurgitation of other dancers' thoughts and experiences in ballet. And this, to me, wasn't interesting. I struggled to get through it and inevitably just gave up. Her experiences might be later in the book but I couldn't make it there.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes in the ballet world. It is extremely well written and honest. The historical background that Alice Robb provides is very helpful in understanding the current ballet world and was an interesting addition to her experiences.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the e-galley.

A delightfully honest and entertaining peek behind the literal and figurative curtain, and a must read if you love ballet.

I came into this thinking it was going to be a Memoir, and I was pleasantly surprised that the book doesn’t quite fit that description. Robb, who spent time at SAB and was a gifted young dancer, shares plenty of her background and experience in the world of dance, but the book is primarily a broader look at what it’s like to be a serious ballerina, with all the joys and sorrows that come with that.

Robb has a wonderful writing style that is both approachably conversational and deeply well informed, and I really appreciated the balance she struck between being honest about the value system of the industry while acknowledging its problems. It feels sympathetic without being, for lack of a better way of putting it, hysterically politically correct in order to pacify zeitgeist-y outcry.

If you’re familiar with the ballet world, you’ll hear some familiar stories and the history of some very famous names, but there’s lots here that was new to me even as a ballet enthusiast. And if you’re new to the topic, this is an approachable and informative primer.

This is eminently readable and well-paced nonfiction, never dry or dull, and I loved this frank but loving look into the world of ballet.

Ok, I love memoirs. I love reading about true events from ordinary people and learning how they lived their life, or what experiences others have encountered.
But this book, Don’t Think, Dear, did not feel like a memoir. This felt like I was reading a textbook.
I love the dance world, my daughter has been in competitive dance and is now in drill team at school. So I saw this book and knew it was one I had to read. Ballet is such a beautiful, classic art form. But this book missed the mark for me.
The author is definitely a wealth of knowledge and she did her research. But I felt like this was only that, her research from classmates’ memoirs and quotes from their books. It wasn’t really her story, which is what I was most looking forward to. There were a few parts that were hard to follow and it seemed a little disorganized. I did have an early release copy, so editors may have helped with this some in the final copy.
If you’re a ballerina, and especially if you have studied in New York at The School of American Ballet, you’ll probably like this and will be able to relate to all of this book. There were some interesting facts and because it was so passionately researched I’d give it 3 stars.

Thank you NetGalley and Mariner Books for the ARC!

If you thrill to the beauty of a corps de ballet floating across the stage in glimmering tutus and you practically tear up at the sight of a perfectly executed string of fouettés, don’t read this book. Your tears will be shed not for the beauty, but for the ballerinas and the torture they endure, albeit willingly and even self-imposed. There have been other exposés of the poor treatment even the most talented ballerinas receive, but Don’t Think Dear comes from the perspective of a woman who achieved some measure of success as she followed orders to “lengthen” (lose weight) and became proud of “corrections” (insults delivered by the teacher in front of a whole class).

Well-written with the insight of an insider, the book details several of the author’s friends as they struggle through starvation, sexual abuse, bloody blisters, and impossibly negative self-images for girls whose bodies are the envy of their peers. And these are girls, not women. Starting as young as age 5, the competition and physical demands take over their lives until, in spite of all their efforts, they are rejected after many years of effort with a casual snub such as “Don’t come back, dear.”

From Anna Pavlova and Margot Fonteyn to Gelsey Kirkland and on to today’s rising stars, ballerinas off stage are not the strong competent women one would expect of such athletic prowess. Here are the touching stories of the famous and the never-made-it women for whom Balanchine was a god, Nuryev and other male partners were tormentors, and teachers at the School of American Ballet wielded absolute power.

Perhaps you should read this even if ballet thrills you, or especially if that is the case. And definitely if you have a child in your life wishing to pursue a professional ballet career. There are dance companies with brilliant choreographers, talented directors, and dancers with athletic but well-fed bodies. Well-written and engaging, this book can help you make better choices for your entertainment dollars.

I generally like books about ballet, but this feels one note. I appreciate the research, and the memory pieces. However the two don't work well together. I'd appreciate more clarity between what kind of a book this is / is mean to be. I DNFd at 99 pages of 239.

impactful quote:

...it was impossible to worry about my performance on the next day's math test or my position in the middle school hierarchy while I listened to the music and thought about the placement of my hands and my arms and all ten of my toes.

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC.

I read an excerpt of this masterful memoir in the latest issue of Vogue and loved it, so when I saw that it was available on NetGalley I immediately requested it. I took dancing lessons for 10 years and though I never intended nor desired to be a professional dancer I was very interested in this author's book.

Robb describes her own "failure" to become a professional ballerina, and follows the career trajectories of a handful of her classmates, plus similar stories of famous ballerinas from the last century. She details just how detrimental ballet can be to a dancer's body and spirit but how hard it is to give it up. Her writing is powerful and vivid, her stories shocking but not surprising. I highly recommend this for any woman who has danced, has children who dance, or who loves the ballet.

art memoir , part history of ballet - mostly about The New York City Ballet and the still continuing influence of its legendary founder George Balanchine. The author joined the school as a young girl, appearing in several Nutcracker performances. Sadly no matter how hard she tried, how little she ate and no matter how she tried to force her turn out she never measured up the Balanchine ideal of how a ballerina should look or dance. Unwilling to give up on her dream she attended still more Ballet Camps and Summer Programs and attended tryouts at other Ballet companies. It was all for naught and eventually she let go of her dream (though she's still taking classes) , continued her education and became a writer - this is her second book.

I found the book a bit disjointed- it jumped back and forth and each chapter could almost be read as a stand alone. The book reminded me a great deal of the some of the documentaries I've seen about abuse of young gymnasts. Young, innocent girls manipulated and preyed on by powerful men who held their futures in their hands. I very much enjoyed the book though after reading it I was very happy I never enrolled by daughters in ballet classes!

Very much recommend Don't Think Dear to anyone with any interest or background knowledge of Ballet.

Any former, current, or future dance can relate to this book. I was impressed by the meticulous research. I wish the book included more about the author's own personal journey, but all the difference perspectives made for an interesting read.

Thanks to #netgalley for the advanced copy!

Journalist Alice Robb tells a compelling story that is part memoir of her time as a student at the School of American Ballet and how that experience shaped her, and part exposé of how ballet affects women. In sharing her own experiences and those of her friends from ballet school, as well as stories of famous ballerinas, Robb paints a grim picture of how dancers are treated and how they drive themselves. As someone who has enjoyed watching ballet but knows very little about it, I was shocked at how these dancers suffer, particularly considering how much of the abuse is self-imposed. I thought Robb did a nice job presenting a balanced story though.

I found the discussions of how ballet affects the dancer’s bones, brains, and sense perceptions fascinating. And after so many horror stories, I was relieved to learn that most of the dancers portrayed have gone on to have other successful careers and seem relatively content, despite lingering physical and emotional aches.

I recommend this book for anyone who enjoys memoirs and is curious about the history of ballet and what life is like for the dancers.

I received a complimentary ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.

I haven’t read a lot about ballet or even dance in general since I stopped dancing at 17. Like the author, I avoided the topic for making me feel inferior. That being said, I really enjoyed this book. It brought me back to memories I haven’t thought about in years and reminded me of names and information about famous ballerinas that I used to obsess over, like I might magically inherit an ounce of their talent.

While I was never near the author’s status/level as a dancer, the dream of being a professional someday is fairly universal.

The research that went into this book is daunting to imagine, and over all, the book is well-written, funny, heartbreaking, and gives a very real sense of life as a ballet student.