I decided to pick this one up after reading a quick synopsis, and thought it sounded like a fun read for spooky szn.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU VAMPIRES is a story about a girl named Lily who finds herself turned to a Vampire by Tristan. They team up, fending off other vampires while Lily faces living sin a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never change.

There was action and romance, but I got a bit tired of the repetitive diet talk and fat culture discussion.

*many thanks to Dreamscape Media and netgalley for the gifted copy for review

There was so much good humor in this book but I quickly got tired of her constant remarks about her body and what not that it kind of killed it for me. Overall it was cute but I wouldn't do a reread.

I enjoyed listening to this audiobook. the reader is engaging. The main characters are fun and realistic. A must listen for fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer & True blood.

Great plus-size heroine. Mediocre story. Just meh. The rest of the characters, just meh. They fell flat for me. I can't even remember their names. I think the story was just trying too hard to be like a fun and flirty vampire novel and then tried to be serious with the Vampire Council so it just didn't work, it didn't mesh.

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for a review.
While romance is not normally my genre I don't mind a vampire and some humour thrown in for good measure. I found the story enjoyable enough and that it took pleasure in rehashing tropes from romance and horror. Lily is a clearly flawed protagonist who expresses a great deal of fatphobia towards herself and inadvertently to others. Upon finding out that she is undead and will not change from the physical state she is in now she is at first horrified but over time feels freed by this once she starts to understand that sometimes her problems have been about her choices and behaviour and not about how she looks. That she cut off perfectly good people from her life by projecting her insecurities on them.
In the mean time there are also some fine subplots to keep you preoccupied either with Lily's budding romance with her maker Tristen or the finding out what fate in the new political order she finds herself in after being turned a vampire. There was a very refreshing conversation about consent that I have never seen happen in vampire fiction regarding the popular power vampires possess to influence
This book was one I had to come back too. Even though I felt the book wasn't promoting Lily's thoughts I wasn't always in the mood to hear Lily's inner monologue that was so filled with self doubt and body shaming. I would give it 3.5 stars.

When Life Gives You Vampires by Gloria Duke is an incredible story! It has everything you could want in a book: action, romance, and of course vampires! It's a fast-paced read that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The characters are well-developed and you can't help but root for them. The plot line is unique and twists and turns will keep you guessing until the very end. It's a great read for all ages and I would highly recommend

I wanted to like this one but the miscommunication between the two main characters was so annoying, like so much could have been avoided if they literally sat down and had a chat. Also I know no one can instantly love their bodies but the amount of time she spent concentrating on her body really look away from the story, I wanted her to not focus on her weight for like 5 minutes but it always looped back to that which was disappointing . Like lets focus on her awesome writing skills or anything else. Also this might just be because I just read another book where the main love interest was like I love you and the girl was still randomly confused by how he felt, like at what point is it over kill when the guy is like hey I love you and the girls don't believe.

This was a fun romcom of a vampire novel. There are things that I do find annoying. Our protagonist is a plus size lady like myself. She is constantly worried about her image and her size in particular. She believes that she needs to be thinner. This becomes a blockage in her mind for most of the story. Whether it’s because someone couldn’t like her for her size or how getting down on herself for her own size, harms other people. Those portions of the story really annoy me. I was hoping this would have good fat representation, but the character is just so down on herself that it gets annoying with how often it happens. She does come to accept herself in the end because she’s a vampire and will never be able to change the way that she looks but her size is mentioned, commented o,n made aware of, its just too much. Take all that stuff away and this book is otherwise pretty fun. She is made a vampire by her own accidental, exuberance and fooling around. This brings the vampire council to her door to tell her. Hey that’s illegal. They do this by stealing her mother. While that is more the end of the book, the rest of the book is this hot guy who happens to write romance novels can never love her because she doesn’t love herself. Overall, I liked the book and would be happy to read a sequel as long as they cut half of it out. I like this book when it focused on the romcom story. I didn’t like this book when it focused on the weight of our main character.

Th book reminded me of my favorite paranormal romance series, the Accidental series by Dakota Cassidy. It has the human turned paranormal unbeknownst to them, someone wanting the new paranormal dead/for something, and a big finish. I loved it.

This is a story about accidental vampirism.

I wanted to love this, but unfortunately it didn’t work for me. The protagonist seemed more concerned with being plus sized then she does about being literally undead…. And there’s a blurred issue around consent that didn’t sit well with me.

Despite my general objections to the book- I did love the narrator! Thank you Netgalley & dreamscape media.

This book is absolutely not going to be for everyone. The way Lily talks will probably be off-putting to some people. She uses a lot of shorthand phrases such as: obvi, bff, bestie, natch, FYI, etc.

I listened to the audiobook and I thought the narrator was great so I didn’t have a problem with the dialogue, I found it really entertaining.

This book is told in Lily’s POV which I think is a good thing because Tristan is a 400 year old vampire who doesn’t understand modern women, so I’m pretty sure I would not have been interested in his POV at all.

This book features a plus size main character who has struggled with her body image her entire life and is having trouble with the fact that she is now a vampire and her body will stay exactly the same way forever.

Lily spends a lot of time during this book worrying about the way she looks and what other people think of what she looks like or what she eats. At times it can be a bit much,

It would be absolutely unfair of me to fault Lily for being insecure and uncomfortable in her body. However,

Not every fat heroine can be fully confident in her body because not every fat person is fully confident in their body. It’s unfair to judge Lily for this, especially because she grew up with a mom who was judgmental of her body.

She does eventually come to terms with this, but it takes a while.

Tristan was not the best hero but I did really enjoy the fact that Lily refused to put up with his shit.

Sadly, this one wasn't for me. I'm not sure what it was but I couldn't get into the story. I really liked the synopsis along with the cover but I think the main character ruined it for me. However, just because it wasn't for me doesn't mean you won't love it. So I would still recommend this one.

Unfortunately, I will not be reviewing this title. I have heard some not so great things by readers and reviewers that I trust so I don't feel like my input would be helpful or useful regarding this title. Thank you for the opportunity!

When Life Gives Your Vampires by Gloria Duke was the fall/Halloween read I never knew I needed. I loved following Lilly's journey as a newborn vampire. She has so much to unpack with her new lifestyle while still coming to terms with her own human body. Lilly is on a journey that she never expected but one that is needed. Add in hot vampires and a funny story and you have the perfect spooky time/anytime read.

The narrator, Meg Sylvan, did a fantastic job and I felt like I was listening to my own best friend's story.

Thank you to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for this copy in exchange for an honest review.

There's no shock quite like going out with a friend, meeting a cute guy, having him buy you a drink, feeling a connection with him, leaving the bar with him to go somewhere more private, and then waking up a vampire the next day (night?).

But that's precisely what happens to Lily Baines. Once over the shock, Lily is pulled into a centuries-long rivalry between her "master" Tristan Newberry, and Gideon - head of the vampire council.

With their fates resting (not so securely) in Gideon's hands, Lily gets a crash course in her new vampire life. But that also means Lily is confronted with her own insecurities. And she'll have eternity to come to terms with it.

I thought the narrator did great in giving Lily a voice. Initially, I wasn't sure how I felt about the male-voiced characters, however. But like all good narration, it didn't take me long to become immersed within the story where I did associate the different voices of dialogue to their respective characters. I hope if this becomes a series, for consistency's sake that the same narrator is used.

I like that Gloria Duke challenged the typical vampire story. I mean, when I think about vampires in fiction, the image that comes to mind is typically this ethereal confidence and exceptional beauty. Lily's insecurities mean that she looks at her plus-size figure and sees everything wrong. She's spent her entire life trying to fit into what she believes is the ideal body which is not her body - according to Lily.

Now, she's kind of thrown into this new life where she has to begin to love and appreciate herself because vampires don't age. As much as becoming a vampire has ultimately changed Lily's life, it's also forced it to remain the same in many ways. One of those ways is her body. A lot of the story deals with Lily's newfound vampirism and the revelations of things lost and gained. We often think of immortality as something great, offering new freedoms. But there are also downsides and Gloria Duke explores those really well.

Because Lily's body image hasn't only been something that has impacted her self, it impacts her relationships. I think when we don't love ourselves, or think kindly of ourselves, it's difficult to see how others could love us.

This is especially apparent in Lily's relationship with Tristan. They have a kind of love-hate start to their relationship. There's an undeniable attraction, but you know, he changed Lily into a vampire altering her entire existence plus it's his grudge with the head vampire in charge that has put them in danger. There's also the fact that not being comfortable in her own skin means that she can't understand why Tristan would be attracted to her.

Basically, in order to come to terms with her relationships, Lily needs to learn to value herself. The book spends a lot of time on this and I think it's safe to say that a lot of progress is made. If this continues into a series - which there is certain potential for - I'd like to see Lily with her new sense of self-worth and how that informs her actions.

Now, I'm not too sold on Tristan as the romantic hero here. I think that Gloria Duke wrote him exceptionally well in that his antiquated views certainly speak to a life lived in the past. Along with Lily, I want to see Tristan making moves to the present which I can totally see happening in another book as Lily kind of brings that freshness to his life.

Overall, I enjoyed this story, I'm very interested for it to continue. I think there's plenty left for Lily to explore in her new life and new outlook, but there's just as much opportunity to get a different perspective.

2.5/5 - Audiobook

This was an interesting plot line, but overall I just didn't connect with the characters. The romance plot was a bit funky, and to me it just didn't read/ present well in the storyline. But I DID love all the vampire movie references. I really waned to like this more than I did, but the excessive focus of Lily's plus size figure insecurities took away from the rest of the plot.

Brief Plot: Lily wakes up turned by a vampire accidentally, know she has to be taught by Tristan how to be a modern-day ampire, accept the end of her old life, and battle the vampire empire that is prepared to kill her for becoming a vampire in an 'illegal' method.

Thank you NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for an eARC audiobook copy of When Life Gives you Vampires, by Glori duke, narrated by Meg Sylvan. This is my honest review

3.5 stars

This was a fun, fluffy read; it was not, as one might expect, life-changing literature. I kind of hated the protagonist for the first chunk of the book, but she did grow on me after a while; although I could relate to and understand a lot of her feelings and experiences, the way she expressed them was not enjoyable to experience. The protagonist also needs to work on speaking a bit more like an adult…she frequently says things like “obvi” and “fuck the fuck off,” which, while cute and amusing once in a while, prove to be pretty irritating after a while. There were a few too many Twilight references throughout the book for my taste, although I did enjoy the mentions of Buffy and a couple other franchises. The ending was nice, I suppose, but it was definitely one that felt like many pieces were wrapped up a little too perfectly to be realistic. All that being said, this was still a fun(ny) and enjoyable read.

Before you read any further in my review, please know that if you have a severe eating disorder or body dysmorphia, this will not be the book for you. It is not worth your time to sacrifice your mental wellbeing if you think you might be triggered by this book. I personally do not struggle with those and I really do not think this book will be problematic for a general audience. However, if you are sensitive, please take care of yourselves 🥰

Read if you like:
- More traditional vampire trope (no sparkles here)
- Strangers to lovers
- Plus size main characters
- Funny banter


This book had a lot of potential especially during the fall spooky season. Unfortunately, this book did not live up to my expectations. The main character constantly compares herself to others and is most disappointed when she realizes she will be stuck as a plus-sized person forever. Even though she does come to embrace her body more, the negative self-talk could eb extremely triggering.

The antagonist of the book (besides how Lily feels about her body) is a creepy vampire who heads a secret vampire council. The conflict between the main guy (Tristan) and this character was weak and not very interesting.

I think this book was average. The romance was fine and progressed ok. The characters had good chemistry. It had some great banter between the two. The writing was fine, not outstanding, not annoying.

If you want a quick read about vampires, I think this book is ok.

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

DNF @ 50%
I cant do this anymore.

Contemporary vampires don't work, atleast not in this. Idk you're gonna tell me they can't be in sunlight, have super jumping, but also can't get daylight rings like in TVD.

There's so much cringe, like her taking a break from work to drink blood in the bathroom and she calls her best friend saying she's "just having a snack" and her friend says "not on a girl, right?" Also this whole quote "It wouldn't be about me either. It wouldn't be about him wanting me, desiring me, choosing me." pick me. love me. choose me.

This tries to be a woke take on fatphobia and fat representation. MC flops between being confident and then extremely insecure. Every comment is a threat to her appearance, when it literally has nothing to do with that. He ate one point says he approached her because he thought she was attractive and she's like "you just thought I was a easy target because I'm fat didn't you." She has a breakdown about being stuck in her current body now that she's turned a vampire, and I understand how upseting that could be if you're not confident in your body. She's upset about now no matter how much work she put into improving herself her body will not change. What's annoying about this is the chapter immediately following MMC meantions vampires don't need to eat human food but because of that you can eat as much as you want without gaining weight, feeling sick, etc. and she's just baffled by this information? but you literally just had this realization but in the opposite.

There's so much going on but nothing being fully fleshed out. Like a main one is her needing to feed, but she refuses to feed on humans (there's a whole consent message too that keeps coming up and it genuinely doesn't make sense). MMC offers his own vampire blood but warns that it will basically make her horny as hell and she will have sex with him after. so she has to give consent to sex if she wants to feed, but they're also putting it off. So why does she need to feed if she's surviving days without feeding fresh blood.

"...because that's what vampires are fiction; like big foot, little green men and one size fits all clothing."

I continuously laughed out loud listening to love interests vampire Tristan and his newly made vampire Lily in When Life Gives You Vampires by romantic comedy author Gloria Duke.

Lily wakes with what she thinks is a hangover but when she sees fangs in her mouth and feels hungry for blood she realizes something went very wrong with the handsome stranger Tristan she met last night.

The comedic timing of narrator Meg Sylvan made Lily's vampire journey filled with an imposing grandmaster vampire, a sexy bodice ripper author vampire and a vampire slayer like, "Buffy...minus the cheerleading moves and witty banter " a very endearing romance with the added bonus of excepting your body and embracing yourself especially when life gives you vampires.

I received a free copy of this audiobook from the publishers via #netgalley for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.