I started this when it first released and just wasn’t in a place to read it….

This is about the United States falling into a Civil War. I immediately read that and put it down. The main character also lives in Baltimore and I lived there for many years and will always have a special place in my heart. Last night I picked it back up and couldn’t stop reading. You meet Hestia, a forty-something woman, who decides the best way to handle all the stress from the war is to start online dating. The story focused a lot more on her and world building and that really had me hooked.

“I had new insight into what I didn’t like about relationships: I will never be able to truly know another person. The most intimate relationship of my life would be by relationship with me- which was wildly unappealing. This is why people believe in gods, so we can have intimate relationships with them instead of ourselves.”

Hestia is awkward and quirky and also smart and relatable. This is primarily a character driven book and if you are into that, read this one.

4 stars

Christine Grillo really said, "I'm going to write a mid-life coming-of-age novel, but I'm going to set it in the midst of a second American Civil War." I respect her boldness, and I was impressed by the results.

In the 2023 of Hestia Strikes a Match, it's once again the Union against the Confederacy, and our forty-something narrator Hestia's husband has abandoned her to fight for the Union cause. A former journalist, Hestia gets a job at a retirement community, where she develops friendships with her co-workers and the residents -- especially Mildred, a fiery 84-year-old who becomes her closest confidant. While the country crumbles into chaos around her and her parents make a plan to move to the Confederacy, Hestia embarks on a mission to find love amongst the ruins.

Hestia Strikes a Match is such a fascinating and brave book that strikes a perfect balance between humor, heart, and social commentary. Christine Grillo's world-building is impressive and believable. In the alternate-universe Baltimore of this novel, she depicts people going about their lives in the midst of war: checking safety apps for war activity in various areas of the city, dealing with gas shortages and power outages and protests, paying up-market prices for Confederate-produced products like cigarettes and bourbon.

While the Civil War is a constant source of stress and conversation for the characters, it takes a back seat in the narrative to Hestia's own experiences and relationships. Hestia Strikes a Match is a character study more than anything else, as Hestia navigates the dating world, her fraught relationship with her parents, a charged political climate, her career, and her friendships. She is a complex and flawed protagonist, self-aware and strong and relatable. Her sweet friendship with Mildred was the highlight of the story for me.

Grillo manages to maintain an optimistic tone to the story, even though it veers into sobering territory. It's irreverently funny at times, and at other times prompts the reader to ponder thought-provoking questions about life, love, relationships, and social issues. Grillo explores themes like dysfunctional family relationships, divisive political viewpoints, and the complexities of gender dynamics, while also providing tender, heartwarming insights about found family and the joys and pitfalls of being alive. The book is anchored by a series of questions that Hestia poses to the retirement community residents about their lives and thoughts, and the residents' answers were like a balm to the soul: a comforting, gentle reminder that life goes on. Those sections brought a lot of levity and sweetness to a story that could've been depressing, but instead left me feeling uplifted despite everything.

The audio version is well-done; the narrator who voices Hestia really encompasses her character, but I especially loved the narrators who voiced the residents of the retirement community. Hestia Strikes a Match is not, it has to be said, a politically neutral book; there is a strong liberal-leaning viewpoint that I imagine will be a turn-off for some readers. But as for me, I found it to be captivating and unique, a story unlike any I've read before. Thank you to Macmillan Audio, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and NetGalley for the complimentary reading opportunity.

I didn't manage to finish this book, so I feel bad leaving a starred review.
The 2023 America portrayed in this book is truly not different enough from our current reality. I get that that's the point -- that this AU is just now dialed up 2 notches -- but it made it incredibly difficult to enjoy. I read for a lot of different reasons, but foremost, for me, is that I have to derive some pleasure from whatever I'm reading. I don't mind difficult books, but this just made me viscerally uncomfortable while offering little else to take the edge off.
Hestia is boring. Her love life was dull, largely because I didn't believe she truly cared for any of the men in her life, even when she was genuinely heartbroken. All of her relationships felt flat.

A surprisingly good read, and I'll definitely be pursuing more by this author. It's a fast read, but relevant, insightful and punctuated with some especially brilliant bits of writing.

Cute feel good novel. Quick read and enjoyable. Loved the idea of the second civil war admits Hestia finding love and creating a new family.

"Hestia Strikes a Match" is a sparkling piece of satire. In this all-too-plausible version of the not-so-distant future, certain conservative states have successfully seceded from the United States in order to govern themselves as they see fit, sparking a new civil war that tears families and communities apart. But amidst all of that, Hestia is still combing the dating apps and searching for love, even in a crumbling world.

Part of why this is such a successful satirical work is because that political backdrop is rooted in realism, and it's exaggerated ever so slightly in order to show the audience not only how plausible such a future might be, but also to spotlight how "ridiculous" it is to try and forcefully revert a country to its white supremacist roots. The civil war raging on in the background of this story is rather bleak in and of itself, but by focusing instead on the mishaps of Hestia's dating life, there is a much-needed sense of levity. The story's tone is light and humorous as we follow this average woman trying to find love at what is essentially the end of the world, and the stark contrast between that personal journey and the dire state of the country is what really grounds the narrative and makes it feel approachable.

But I think the reason why this story lands for me is the fact this is essentially the world we live in. Yes, there are some key political differences and some details are exaggerated here, but we in the United States are essentially living through an unspoken civil war every single day of our lives— with domestic terrorism, police brutality, the rise of white supremacy, the outlawing of basic human rights, bans on reproductive health, violence against minority groups, and so many other terrible things that have become commonplace.

We have the option to compartmentalize the trauma so long as it doesn't directly effect us in order for us to carry on with our silly little lives and do our silly little tasks and worry about our silly little personal problems, which is exactly what Hestia is doing. In the reality that she lives in, it's easier to try and just focus on her love life, which is at least somewhat in her control as a horrific world around her rages *out* of control.

In a way, she's trying to remind herself what is worth living for and what is worth hoping for, and it's clear she thinks the answer is romantic love, which is why she keeps desperately trying to throw herself in its path. And obviously through all those cringey first dates, the story explores how drastically shifting political divides effect our ability to connect with other people and how they force us to redefine our boundaries and reconsider what—and who—is safest for us.

So overall, I enjoyed this book. I think it's a smart social commentary that's brilliantly able to walk the line between seriousness and frivolity, like any satire worth its salt. My one minor hang-up is that the story fails to acknowledge Hestia's immense privilege—especially her white privilege—that keeps her relatively safe and very far removed from the worst of the civil war. Some of those traumatic realities start quickly encroaching on her corner of the world towards the end of the book, just to provide some kind of climactic payoff, but I think there are definitely moments where it seems like civil war is more of a backdrop detail rather than the dire situation it actually is with its very real consequences.

But as I said, I still had a great reading experience with this. It's funny, it's light-hearted, it's easy to read and makes this somewhat dystopian future very accessible to the reader. I would definitely read more from this author in the future!

3.5/5. A truly unique, unsettlingly believable near-future dystopia that proves chick lit and scathing political satire can go hand in hand. Right off the bat, I found it funny, compelling and scarily real. It unites two of the most essential and aggravating themes in my life-online dating and intense political anxiety-in a way that made me both excited and uneasy picking it up.

What makes the satire of Hestia Strikes a Match work so well is that it doesn't hold back on anybody. It gives brief but limited attention to the kind of reactionary conservatism that's gaining traction in the U.S. right now, of course, but it focuses most of its attention on moderates, well-intentioned liberals, and even leftist and activist groups. Hestia's parents, who are highly educated, non-religious, and who aren't outwardly in favor of the open bigotry of the novel's Confederates, are eventually drawn to the Confederate side, ostensibly based on principles of free speech and anti-censorship. Hestia herself argues with her parents, even cuts them off, over differences in beliefs, yet focuses most of her energy on her dating escapades rather than the violent political landscape going on around her. She attempts, and badly fumbles, a dialogue with Sarah about how their experiences in the war are informed by their race. Hestia's husband, who seems to have more awareness of the seriousness of the war, benefits within the leftist spaces he occupies by positioning himself as one of the good straight white men; he experiences a sort of glass elevator effect in his activist groups while discarding and mistreating his wife. Grillo goes for the throats of the sorts of well-meaning but tone deaf people who normally don't get called out in fiction, and I found that truly refreshing and thought-provoking.

I had my gripes, of course. I thought the pacing was a little off at times and that it might have worked better as a novella. Mildred felt like a bit of a caricature of a Wise But Snarky Older Mentor Figure and her scenes and dialogue felt pretty canned. Hestia's relationship with her parents was beaten into the ground - there were about three or four scenes that seemed like they rehashed the same interaction, and her parents aren't afforded individual personalities and character traits. I thought that in some places the speculative fiction background was a little too far in the background, and occasionally the humor verged on flippant. The ending scene drags on a little, and there's a weird, clumsy, out of place take on the American flag at the end, where Hestia suddenly becomes intensely patriotic and infuriated that radical conservatives have coopted it (as if it's not also steeped in centuries of racism and colonialism, but okay! This just seemed out of place in an otherwise pretty nuanced and self-aware critique of American politics).

Said gripes aside, there was a lot to love in here. I am a sucker for themes of love and human connection in the midst of chaos and destruction. I liked Hestia's and Sarah's friendship and found it one of the more compelling dynamics. The way that Grillo works in backstory without infodumping is inventive and fun. I adored the exploration of different types of relationships between love and sex and friendship and how the lines between all of those blur together, and I found the end of Hestia's story deeply romantic. Overall, a quirky, heartfelt, and thoughtful take on both American politics and modern dating culture.

I highlighted this book on my Booktube channel. The video can be accessed here: https://youtu.be/f7XqNUTMULg

It was eery to read about a world that could currently be a reality if certain events played out differently. While a current civil war was in the background of the story and played a major part in the plot, I enjoyed getting to know Hestia and her learning about her love life. Every character in her life felt so realistic and I could envision each of them as I was reading.

Hestia is a former reporter working in a retirement home midst America's second world war. She has a strenuous relationship with her parents, doesn't have friends, and her husband has been off fighting for his causes since the war started. In her pursuit of love and a purpose she befriends her co-worker and a rambunctious elderly resident who help her narrow down what and who she wants out of life.

I really wanted to love this one. An elder millennial in her 40s finding love, the harsh reality of what road America is one, and the human connection. Unfortunately Hestia was not a character i felt myself rooting for. I could not connect with her and I found her very whiney. She felt like a character who only liked the idea of love and wanted to be miserable. The best parts and characters were the retirement home residents especially Mildred.

This was a really interesting book but it is not for everyone. It has a STRONG political viewpoint which will alienate certain readers. So, I just wanted to mention that upfront. I was initially interested in this book for that very reason. As it centers around the idea of the United States falling into a civil war, it felt like an interesting idea and all too real given where we are in our political climate at the moment. I was interested in seeing what Christine Grillo would do with that premise. And, for me, this one really delivered an interesting story that held my attention & made me THINK. But, I do want to mention that this is more of a character study in that it's really the story of Hestia, a woman who is seeking love and acceptance - through relationships with men, her parents, her friends, and her co-workers, etc. It really focuses heavily on THAT and not so much on the Civil War world-building. That is there, certainly, but it's not the focus. It still worked for me but I wanted to mention that so you aren't coming for one thing and feeling disappointed that the narrative focuses on something different.

I think this novel really excels at character development. Over the course of the novel, I came to really KNOW the people in this novel, in all their glorious flaws and complications. And it sort of snuck up on me, to be honest. The relationships in the book gave me, as a reader, so much to think about and consider. It was a really effective narrative device.

I should also mention that there were a lot of laugh-out-loud moments for me - the irreverent humor was very successful for me. The author had a lot of humor about relationships and how odd, strange and complex they are which I could really relate to. I loved all of the quirky that she so successfully blended into the characters and the narrative.

What I think also really worked for me with this novel is how well done the author's observations of the very complex issues in the divisive political climate, family dynamics, gender dynamics, humanity, love, happiness, and more. She was able to weave the 'issues' into the narrative very successfully.

While I really enjoyed this one, I think it could have used a little more editing so the narrative was a bit tighter. It got weighed down in the middle for me and I think this was why. I also wished there were more of the world-building details about the civil war included. I had a number of questions that were never answered ... I suspect that was intentional on the author's part but I wanted MORE of the details about this civil war and what it looked like. However, all in all, this book was very successful for me and I think a certain reader will really enjoy this as much as I did! But, if you are someone who is on the more conservative side of the American political aisle, this may not be a book that you'll enjoy.

Oh hi, I loved this book. Loved loved looooved. So much that I pre-ordered it so my mom could read it and love it too. The premise is wonderful, and twofold: First, we are hanging out with main character Hestia during her daily life of trying to find love and friendships and such, which seems pretty normal. The second part is, she's doing this as the country is in full-blown war and chaos. And holy crap is it realistic.

In the story, Joe Biden dies. I mean- the author doesn't call him out by name, but we know it's him. And Kamala becomes president. And the Shitty White People™ in the Shitty White People™ parts of the country basically lose their racist, sexist minds. And so, we fight, because this is what people do. I have seen a lot of reviews marking this as alt-history, but the truth is, this is set like... today, and this could so very easily be our today. Or tomorrow, it doesn't actually matter, because it is so spot on in terms of how this country reacts over stuff. There's even a bit where Hestia comments that we have really been at war for years, but "we were in the habit of giving it names like 'arson,' or 'shootings'". Which wow, yep. Basically, instead of alt-history, I felt like I was reading an eerily accurate description of our future.

Anyway, the story isn't just about the awfulness of the country, which was what makes it so incredible. It was about Hestia trying to navigate this new-but-not-really society (more like, coming to terms with it being so out in the open) and also trying to find her own place. She's a bit adrift after finding herself newly separated, and finding her parents on the wrong side of the war. You can't help but feel for her, as she discovers how messy her parents' viewpoints are, and finds herself back in the dating pool in her forties.

She's also just a really likable character, frankly. Her bestie is an old lady named Mildred who lives in the senior center she works at. Mildred is the best. She is so funny, and reminded me of my own grandmother. I loved their bond so very much. Hestia eventually finds some other people to add to her circle, but you'll have to read about that for yourself. And look, it is hard enough finding your People as an adult. Imagine doing it during a literal civil war! Hestia even has to rely on an app to tell her which places are probably not going to get attacked, especially since she lives on a boarder city in Maryland.

The best thing about this book was how authentic it felt. How plausibly this could be our world, and how completely relatable Hestia was as a character. She commented at times about how strange it was to still be doing mundane things like going to work, or meeting someone for a drink while the world fell apart around her, and that is facts. It is also exactly how I'd see the actual civil war happening, frankly, because people don't want to give up the mundanity that makes them feel sane. Also, Hestia's concerns are everyone's concerns: worrying about how to deal with family who have toxic views, trying to feel less alone, worrying about friends. It's all just so relatable, and so life-affirming. Like, if Hestia can do it in the midst of crisis, maybe we can too.

Bottom Line: As war rages on, this book shows us that there is still a whole life to live, and we can still find ourselves in the darkest of times.

In an alternate history, the U.S. falls into another civil war. Hestia Harris has been abandoned by her husband, who has left to fight for the unionists, and her parents, who have moved to the secessionist states. In the midst of a larger world that seems falling apart, and a personal life in disarray, Hestia takes a new job at a retirement village, where she finds a new family of sorts with Mildred, a resident who loves to provide Hestia with advice about dating and relationships, Sarah, her younger officemate, and some of her coworkers. With their advice, Hestia seeks to find a connection that will serve as an anchor in a world, and life, that seems to be falling apart all around her.

This is an interesting story, complete with strong characters, engaging writing, and interesting insights about family, love, and modern life.

I really enjoyed Hestia Strikes a Match. I liked the insight into what the country would be like if we had another civil war. I also liked the character studies, and how the whole book was focused more on Hestia than the actual war. I liked her dating struggles and they were funny at times.

Ah Hestia, i relate, girl. Hestia is a 40 something divorcee living in America during the 2nd Civil War. She is a liberal, her parents are unionists aka conservative right wingers. Hestia is a really relatable character in how she interacts with her family, potential friend and boyfriends and how she navigates the world Christine Grillo has built. Interspersed are opinions of other Americans I found relatable as well. This book may hit too close to home for some, but I found it an enjoyable read about a woman trying to make her way through the world.

When I picked up this novel, knowing it was set in a fictional (though strikingly close to reality) 2023 America in which the United States is amidst a civil war, I expected more of a dystopian vibe and thought the war would be more central to the plot. However, I quickly realized the war was more of a backdrop than the center of the story, and instead I settled in to this quiet, character-driven story.

I typically run from books described as “quiet” but I felt like I really enjoyed this one. In this book, we follow Hestia, a 44-year-old quasi-divorcée, as she navigates dating and family relationships in the midst of a civil war. I absolutely loved Hestia as a character. I loved the narrative voice — Hestia is witty, insightful, hopeful, raw, and relatable. I loved the growth we saw in Hestia, both personally, and in her relationships.

Though much of the book centered around her dating life, I think my favorite part was her friendships, especially with Mildred, a sassy, chain-smoking resident of the nursing home where she works. I loved the intergenerational friendship element and Mildred as a character.

One complaint I did have though, is that this book had LONG chapters. It’s a 400 page book with only 7 chapters. The chapters have frequent breaks in them and they’re broken up by oral-history-style interview questions with the nursing home residents (which was one of my favorite parts of the book!), but I kind of wish the chapters themselves would have been broken up more, especially when reading on a kindle.

I haven’t seen this book around much, and it’s a shame as it really struck a cord with me and I found it so timely and insightful. I really enjoyed this book and I’ll definitely be thinking about it for a while.

Eeekkk I really wanted to like this one, but it just didn't work for me. I even listened to parts and read parts... and neither worked. Maybe I am too old - maybe it is targeting a younger crowd, but I found this story to be all over the place and the main character to be annoying. I found that the political part was surprisingly real and not over done. The search for love - and challenges along the way were just too over the top for me. I also found that the book bounced all around leaving me lost and uninterested during many parts. Maybe for a younger crowd - or someone deep into the dating world, but I just couldn't identify with the character at all.
Thank you netgalley for my advanced reader and audio copy.

This clever, funny, and thoughtful novel is set in an alternate version of the present day, one where the United States is once again embroiled in a civil war. Hestia's husband has left her to go fight for the Union, and she is trying to date, make friends, and make the most of her job at a retirement village. I loved all the side characters, and Hestia's dating misadventures are a lot of fun, but Grillo also slips in a lot of heavy truths and observations that really hit home. This is one of those books that sneaks up on you; I wasn't even sure what my star rating would be until I started writing this review and reflecting on how much I enjoyed this novel, and how certain aspects continue to linger with me. It's always impressive when someone can write a fun, entertaining book that's easy to read and yet addresses some really big, important themes, in particular the great divide in our country that seems to be growing wider every day. Thank you to NetGalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for a digital review copy.

Hestia is in her 40’s and living through the new American Civil War. She is newly single as her husband has left to fight for the union. This was a really interesting and at times difficult read. It feels a little to real right now. The book is very funny too. I love reading about a protagonist that is around my age. Her relationship with Mildred one of the residents at the retirement community that she works at was the real highlight.

Hestia Strikes a Match takes us into an alternate United States. It's 2023 and a civil war is raging in the United States. Hestia is looking for companionship amongst the chaos and turns to dating apps.

Hestia is a wonderful main character. She is charming and lovable and I loved seeing the dynamics between her and everyone else in her life. I was impressed with this debut novel, and found the writing clever and engrossing. Overall, a smart and funny (if sometimes horrifying) novel about a modern woman's quest for love.