**Thank you to Penguin Young Readers Group, Rocky Pond Books, and Netgalley for an ARC of Ever Since in exchange for an honest review.**

Ever Since is a heart-wrenching story told from the POV of a young woman named Virginia, who has embraced her body in the only way she knows how: by giving her physical body to the men who demand it, not yet ready to admit that her promiscuity is, in fact, sexual assault.

Most of the reviews reflect the writing style, and so for future readers, I implore you to go into this story with the mindset that it's prose-poetry. It's very lyrical and not written according to standard fiction writing styles. Expect the sentences and word choices to reflect poetry instead of prose, and you'll probably enjoy this much better.

Writing style aside, the story is deep, and while there are more explicit word choices toward the end, the beginning is largely beating around the bush to symbolize how Virginia cannot yet speak of what she does, even to herself. The plot twist at the end shocked me, and I had to pause my reading to let the truth sink in of who abused her. Despite the difficult topics discussed in this story, I read it cover to cover over the course of a day. I couldn't put it down, no matter what was being discussed, because Virginia's innocence is still so clear even when she thinks she's the one deciding her fate.

The only section of the story I didn't enjoy was Virginia's experiences with Rumi. The romance didn't feel forced at all, and in fact felt cathartic until the reader and Virginia realize that while Rumi treats her with more kindness than any other man, he still doesn't stand up for her when she needs it most.

That aside, the female role models and friendships in this story are spectacular and made me cry. The unconditional love that the girls not only receive from each other but from the adult women in their lives is inspiring and I recommend this story for anyone who can stomach the triggering topics.

In Ever Since, Alena Bruzas takes an unflinching look at LGBTQ themes, grooming, sexual assault, and the secrets that can shape or shatter lives. While the subject matter is undoubtedly challenging, Bruzas navigates these topics with sensitivity, giving readers a raw and honest portrayal.

Bruzas’ writing is elegant yet hard-hitting. Her characters are fully realized, and their stories resonate with authenticity. The theme of secrets permeates the entire novel, underscoring the importance of openness, both in terms of sexuality and in confronting the past. The revelation of these secrets provides the book with its most powerful moments, prompting readers to reflect on societal biases, the importance of consent, and the healing power of truth.

"Ever Since" is a deeply moving and thought-provoking novel. It's a brave exploration of important, and often overlooked, topics. Although the book's heavy themes require emotional readiness, it is a worthwhile read for those seeking a story that speaks truth to power, advocates for change, and ultimately, underscores the resilience of the human spirit.

4/5

TW: Sexual abuse, grooming, alcohol/drugs abuse, sexual abuse of minors, suicidal ideation, abuse, homophobia, transphobia

This was an ARC that I received from NetGalley. An absolutely heartbreaking. The teenage characters deal with a lot of trauma and handle it in their own ways. It’s an important and impactful read.

DNF @6%

First off, the writing style was not my thing. Second off, the MC cheats with one of her friend's boyfriends within the first 6%. She has a conversation with another best friend about how she doesn't feel bad about it. Again, not my thing. Even if she goes through some amazing growth arc, I don't think learning not to cheat with your friend's boyfriend is going to be the point of this book. So yeah... I stopped reading it and won't ever pick it up again.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me an e-arc in exchange for my honest review.

4.5 stars

I don't even know where to begin. This is not a happy story, but it's a story that needs to be told. From the summary on the Goodreads/Amazon page, I knew that this book is about sexual abuse, so I had to prepare myself for a tough read. And it is that. But as much as it reminds us how terrible this world can be, it's also about a girl, Virginia, who decides to speak up, even if she knows she won't be believed, even if she knows she's just opening herself up for more abuse, even by her own friends, because she can't watch someone she cares about go through what she went through. It's about the victims taking back their own agency.

Within this narrative, the author spun the tales of Medea, Fatima, Aife, and Sita, four women from mythology who were also abused, reflecting what Virginia suffered and felt, and the self-destructive behavior she fell into to try to escape everything in her head. It was very well done but it also reminded me just how long women have been abused, but even worse, been dismissed, disbelieved, and called liars and many other terrible names if they dare speak up.

Though only 288 pages, the story was a slow burn, and I didn't feel as if I got to know her friends early on. I had trouble keeping them straight and was confused about which one was dating which guy and so on. But somewhere around chapter 7, I started to get immersed and ended up reading the rest in one sitting. And then chapter 13 hit and I started figuring things out and the tears started. I was sniffling on and off until the end of the book.

The author's note at the end is important to read. While this story is fictional, it channels her own pain.

I highly recommend this story, but trigger warnings include sexual assault, grooming, child abuse, child neglect, and alcohol and drug abuse. This is one of those stories that are not easy to read, but these stories matter.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley and the Publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I think the dedication might have been my favorite part. This was not for me. I feel bad rating it so low especially because it's based on some experiences the author had but the book just didn't work for me. I had a hard time with the main character and her friend group. I can't put my finger on what it was but it wasn't for me.

Thank you to Netgalley for this arc and my review is of my own opinion.

Wow. What an intense read. It was both hard to put down and hard to continue. I can say that I related a little too heavily to this novel with my own personal experiences. I would definitely warn readers that this book could be very triggering and to proceed with caution. I will say though loved the combination of mythology in this book. It was a great blend which added layers to the story, depth to the trauma and pain.

"Ever Since" by Alena Bruzas is a tough, gritty story that follows a group of teens struggling to cope with some very big secrets. This raw and gritty YA novel invites an honest conversation about how to understand and approach tough subjects such as trauma and sexual assault. For those who don’t want an easy story and those who can relate to these topics, this book was written for you.

“Ever Since” is not about the troubled kids or the rough group of girls who look for trouble and finally receive it. They’re the average group of kids who, unfortunately, are dealing with their own personal troubles and, unbeknownst to them, a shared trauma. These secrets cause their bond to disintegrate, and for them to turn on one another, instead of seeking refuge in their friendship. When it becomes clear the same incident that happened to them is about to happen to someone else, the girls have a tough choice to make: remain silent and let the abuse continue or speak up and risk everything.

While many YA novels successfully tackle substance abuse, trauma, bullying, and sexual assault, there is something so heartbreakingly intimate about Bruzas’ writing that reels you in and won’t let go. Perhaps it’s the novel's tone, which reflects the hopelessness and terror of the main character as she is constantly put in situations that worsen her mental health. Or maybe it’s the vivid details that force you to see and feel and experience what the characters do. Every emotion and thought and sensory experience is laid bare to immerse the reader not just in the story, but the characters’ lives.

This is a tough one to read because Bruzas doesn’t gloss over the brutality of what the girls experience with pretty words, nor does she try to romanticize the abuse they’re put through. And maybe that’s why I enjoyed the story so much. Bruzas doesn’t glamourize the effects of trauma or the situations the girls intentionally put themselves in to try and feel better or to forget what they’ve been through. It’s the first story where I thought I understood something about abuse and how that can flip a whole person’s life upside down, as well as everyone around them.

“Ever Since” is an important book to read, but one with many trigger warnings readers need to be aware of before picking it up.

“Ever Since” by Alena Bruzas is expected to be published on May 23, 2023. If this book speaks to you, add it to your TBR and look for it on shelves on its publication date.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group, Rocky Pond Books for providing me with a free e-arc and the opportunity to share my honest opinion in this review.

A heart-breaking, gorgeously written book that left me emotionally raw. It's a very heavy book about sexual abuse and there are plenty of trigger warnings. I felt for Virginia and rooted for her to overcome her demons. The relationships with her friends Paz, Ro, Poppy, and Thalia felt authentic. I loved the parallel stories of Medea and the other goddesses. I would recommend this to older teens who can handle such a dark premise.

Gorgeous poetic prose and embedded fairytales and myths carry readers through Virginia's intense experience of childhood sexual assault its aftermath. At times graphic and deeply disturbing, all of the assaults by the adult "Him" occurred in Virginia's past, allowing Bruzas to show (realistically) how children often lack the power and agency to escape their abusers but also to give Virginia power and agency at the moment of this story so that she can rediscover her voice and a supportive community of peers and adults to help her find safety and heal. In this novel, storytelling is not only a catalyst for healing but a bridge of connection between isolated survivors which will no doubt reach readers as well. Bruzas concludes with an author's note acknowledging her lived experience with CSA. An impactful read for fans of heavy YA/NA contemporary fiction.

A powerful, tender, and beautifully written debut about abuse in its various forms, and the ways it impacts young women. A truly moving read, Virginia's story is haunting and one I won't soon forget.

4.5 stars

Content warning: Contains descriptions of sexual assault, child sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, and drug and alcohol use/abuse.*

This story is a beautifully heartbreaking debut about abuse, trauma and the power of finding your voice. This story featured domestic and sexual abuse, slut shaming, victim blaming, and grooming. They are some heavy topics, but if you can deal with them, I highly recommend checking out this book.

Five friends whose lives are filled with real love, betrayal, heartbreak, and secrets unfolding. It all started when one friend, Poppy left without a word. Then Virginia our the mc found out that a little girl was being groomed. This book shows how the effects of abuse never really leave you. How shattered your life can feel and how messed up your perception of consent is.

At first I was confused by Virginia's decisions. But this book really opened my eyes.
I haven’t experienced anything like the topics in this book but I feel like this is definitely a realistic portrayal of abuse and the affects that last a lifetime. The decisions she made were all impacted by her trauma and the feelings that never went away. There were a lot of scenes in this book that I could feel the truth and led me to understand a lot of things.

Another thing I loved was the portrayal of friendship and the bond that was shaken but still stayed strong. I also loved the inclusions of the mythological stories and how the story of Circe was weaved into this one. I find it hard to write a review about this book, but I truly felt the story and it was emotional, raw and just an very important story with an important message about finding your voice and the impact it has on others.


Thank you so much to Netgalley, Rocky Pond books (Penguin) and the author of this advanced copy of the book in return for my honest review.

This is the story of five friends, filled with real love, betrayal, heartbreak, and secrets unfolding. It all started when Virginia, our main character, found out that a little girl was so close to being groomed by a man she knew when she was a kid. Ever Since is about the power of finding your voice and sharing your story of trauma, and how one who stands up amidst the defeaning crowd can make an uproar for change. 

I requested this debut on Netgalley because of this gorgeous cover alone. Little did I know there was a haunting and ugly story within. This story featured domestic and sexual abuse, slut shaming, victim blaming, and grooming. Alena Bruzas was brave enough to tell this fragile story of a girl who experienced it all. With a slam poetry-like writing style, it made this even more poignant and remarkable.
 
Weaving the tale of Medea, the infamous niece of Circe, into Virginia's story was well done, and I love when a story has snippets of stories as well. Although this debut novel smashed me into tiny shards of glass, I was looking for more closure in the end. I wish it was longer. I wish it was more grounded. But overall, I finished this book in one night, and it left me with a scar I couldn't erase anymore. 

What could've been better than writing an honest story as your debut? I can't wait to see what you do next, Alena Bruzas. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this impactful story of yours.

The devastation I feel after reading this, wow... I am still wholly reeling from the emotions this stirred in me. It’s been hours and I’m still not okay, while feeling a healing from reading it at the same time.

Never before have I felt so incredibly seen in a book. This spoke to the silent parts of my teenage years that I try to keep buried. There is so much desolation in trauma and the guilt left behind. It’s really messes a person up. It makes you question yourself. Question events. Question your self worth. And Alena Bruzas has demonstrated all of these little microcosms perfectly.

Virginia is me. I am her. My friend is her. My neighbor… so many people. This was just a phenomenal show of truth and I am in awe. In Ever Since, Virginia is just coping silently, making bad decisions that mask her pain. She is covering so much of herself, using drinking and drugs to feel anything but the pain of her own silent thoughts. The group of friends she has in this book are iconic. Where she has 4, I had just one, though. It’s still feels the same though.

I recommend this to anyone dealing with sexual assault trauma, and that comes in so many forms. This book was a balm to me, while still ripping me open. Best book of the year!

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of Ever Since. All opinions are my own. When I started reading this book I was originally taken back by the writing style. I didn't love the writing and how the book flowed at the beginning, however I instantly connected with the characters. The writing just leaves me wanting more. The characters however reminded me of my friends and I when we were in high school. Going out and having fun, building a tight knit community. All of the happy in the beginning quickly fades in the later chapters. Virginia is easy to love, but I am sad for her. Her back story is tragic. Watching her push down her feelings and use her body to deal with her emotions is heart breaking. This book is so real for so many young women. I can see how this could be helpful for young girls to read but It is filled with triggers that make me worried. I appreciate the idea behind this book and the feelings that it evokes but the writing style isn't for me.

I was amazed to find out that this was a debut novel because it had such a strong presence that it was almost like it had been written by a long standing author not someone just getting their feet wet. This was a book that while I found hard to read at times strictly because of the subject I'm very glad I persevered because it was such an amazing book that I feel I'm lucky to have been given the opportunity to read. This book was full of some very serious subjects abuse assault etc however it wasn't a very dark book to read and the word choices were so light that it made it an easier pill to swallow for the reader. This is a story all about our main character Virgina and her dealing with her sexual assault but at the same time seeing the same warning signs in her friends little sister. If she wants to do anything to stop it however she has to come to terms with her own demons first, demons that she has been trying desperately to suppress. I liked how the book was written through the girls point of view because it was a little less triggering to read since we just saw the abuse signs second hand instead of listening to the inner monologues as it was happening. The only thing that I didn't like about this book however was I found the writing to be a bit choppy and stunted so it was a little hard to become emersed in a story line that usually consumes me. While I found it hard to follow at some points it is possible that I was just not the target demographic for this story. Pretty good concept just the execution left a bit to be desired.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Ever Since is a hard one for me to review, for a few different reasons.

Before the book/ARC even begins, it mentioned it was the first stage of printer’s proofs.Meaning, it hasn’t been corrected in regard to formatting, errors, etc. I tried to keep that in mind and not let the many, many errors get to me but by 40%, I was over it. All the errors made it hard to read. I mention all that because It got to the point I was wondering what was done purposefully by the author, and what wasn’t. Paragraphs would end suddenly, with Virginia in one place, seemingly in the middle of something, and then jump to mid conversation with her friends, in a completely different setting. It was jarring.

It read like the author was trying to write lyrically and if it had been done successfully, I would have really enjoyed it. It didn’t work for me at all. We got more descriptions of unimportant things than we did of any of the characters. Most of them had no real personality. I’ll be honest, I had to force myself to finish this book. At 80% through, things sort of started changing and that is what bumped my rating up from 1 star to 2 stars.

The subject matter is incredibly difficult to read about but it is also incredibly important that these stories are told. I do recommend that potential readers of all ages read the content/trigger warnings.

Incredible. This story realistically relates trauma from sexual abuse as a child, sexual assault, the difficulties these things bring to a teenage girl's life and her view of herself. I really felt this. As a survivor, I related so much with this main character. The division her trauma caused between her and her friends through drug and alcohol use is just one of the multitude of examples a teenager and also, adults, deal with the corruption of their youth.

This is a hard topic to read about, and I want to warn any to be readers that this hits hard and goes into some detail. However, what an important book! I've read several stories this year by authors who have survived this trauma, and I am continuously in awe.

The gorgeous and heart-wrenching descriptions of certain mythology characters, particularly Medea, that were sprinkled throughout this story is another example of finding a voice to speak through this trauma. And, it was really, like I've already said, hard hitting... as it should be.

There are no happy stories of childhood abuse and trauma... but there is hope.

Out May 23, 2023!

Thank you, Netgalley and Publisher, for this Arc!

**Thank you, NetGalley, for the free ARC. This review is my own opinion**

Okay, this book is a tough one. On one hand, I'm glad there's another book that talks about rape, sexual abuse, child abuse, and trauma. We need more stories that discuss these things because it is a hard subject, but one that needs rep. I've endured abuse like this, so I'm glad there are trigger warnings. On the other hand, I didn't like the main character, Virginia, or her voice. The writing really threw me off and I almost DNFed this a few times because of it. Also, yes, Virginia has been raped and abused, but the way she acted didn't feel...real to me. There are a few times where she initiates sex with Edison, her best friend's boyfriend. She freely admits that she has cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had, and continues to try to get closer to another friend's boyfriend.

That is NOT okay! Poppy, her biggest best friend, ends up going to a family member's for the summer, and basically goes radio silent. Virginia panics and then starts a relationship with Poppy's boyfriend. She even falls in love with him, despite not knowing a damn thing about him. She clearly has some major codependency issues, which I have had experience with. I couldn't relate or feel too sympathetic to Virginia because of her childish, selfish acts. There is no reason for her to try and be intimate with Poppy's boyfriend just because Poppy ignores her texts and calls. That is toxic and I would never want a friend like Virginia.

Overall, I will give this 2 stars because of the content it deals with. Again, the writing really is hard to deal with; the author constantly says "and" a lot and uses run-on sentences. From what I learned, the author did this on purpose. Still, its not for me.

The writing was beautiful and lyrical which pulled me in right away and held my attention; I was so drawn in that I didn’t notice the passing of time or how many pages I’d read. The writing style using repetitive phrasing was also a great demonstration of spiraling thoughts and anxiety/panic attacks especially for someone dealing with the aftermath of trauma.

I loved the characters for the most part, they had a lot of ups and downs with each other but their friendships and character development was excellent! Throughout the book, the MC Virginia also weaves in stories of powerful women in mythology such as Medea and Sita. I thought this was an interesting way to show the growing power Virginia has in using her voice!

Overall a heartbreaking, heavy novel but wonderfully written and I think also an important, powerful story.

Full review to be posted on IG May 15


TW/CW: sexual assault, child sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, alcoholism, infidelity, underage drinking, drug abuse, transphobia (brief mention), homophobia (brief mention), sexual content, bullying, victim blaming, violence (brief), panic attack, death of parent, neglect, grooming