<i>Thank you to NetGalley and to the Ace and Aro Advocacy Project for this eARC, which was given in exchange for an honest review.</i>

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Actual Rating: 3.75 stars

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I requested this book on NetGalley for many reasons, but one of the biggest ones was because I was intrigued by it. People are so diverse and it is interesting to read a book like this to learn more about where they are coming from. Plus I think we should all do our due diligence to educate ourselves on these experiences when people are facing barriers and difficulties in life because of certain aspects of their identity.

I did learn an awful lot from this book. Asexuality and aromanticism are identities I didn’t know much about before I read this. I feel like I came out of it knowing much more than I thought I would have, especially in terms of how important the internet was and continues to be for members of these communities. Having testimonies from members of the respective communities definitely helped with my understanding some of the things that were discussed in the book.

Each chapter is thorough and very informative, to the point where it is almost academic. This is not negative critique in my case, but I do think it would put a reader off if that is not the type of book they want to use to first dive into the subject.

This is one I read more or less in one sitting, but I feel it is more a guide to dip in and out of as the reader wishes. The extensive appendixes at the back would lend itself greatly to this type of a reading experience.

All in all, I think this is a good book for educating people on ace and aro identities and the issues they face. I’d love to see more books like this pop up in the future, they’re needed.

I was so excited to see a book that not only is about being asexual but also aromantic! This is something that I myself haven’t seen before and felt really represented by. I hope to see more of this representation in the future in both nonfiction and fiction.

It took me a really long time to get through this book, as it was pretty heavy going at times, with a LOT of facts, which I can't read a lot of before my brain switches off. That was a ME problem though!

I thought this was an excellent guide to the ace and aro communities, particularly people like me who have finally acknowledged that this is ME and don't know where to go next to get information. I really loved the explanations of how you can come out, and even if you don't want to come out to everyone in your life, that that is ok too! And the glossary was very informative.

A great little guide to all the various ways of being in these communities. I learnt a lot, actually, and I am a woman in my 50's.

Thank you to the authors for putting all these resources together as well, I really appreciate it.

5 stars from me.

Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Ace and Aro Journeys is the fifth and final book I've read in the series of books on asexuality acquired by Jessica Kingsley Publishers and it does exactly what it sets out to do.

Far from a prescriptive guide or comprehensive overview of asexuality, Ace and Aro Journeys centres the validation of young aces at its core. It is a book designed for people who know a bit about asexuality and may be questioning whether they fall under the umbrella, or for people who want a greater understanding of what it is to live life ace.

While Ace and Aro Journeys does not offer groundbreaking, heavy queer theory, it is a much-needed book that helps the reader ask what asexuality can look and feel like for anyone. And by feeling, I mean both understanding one's own asexuality, and accepting the impact it has on life: work, family, partners, friendships, within the queer community, intersectional identities and more.

Interview quotes are lightly touched on across the book, but it does not read like the findings of a qualitative survey. They are only included where necessary, which allows the content of the book to sing through.

Inclusive and original, it is a much-needed addition to the canon of asexuality literature.

Thanks to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for sending me an e-arc in exchange for an honest opinion.

I had so much hope for this book especially because it was from AVEN. But this book was maybe the worst aro/ace “guide” book I have read.

I actually DNFed this book. Here is the thing. As an ace person, this book didn’t feel like it was written for ace/aro people, but it didn’t feel like it was written for allies either. There were sections written to allosexual people and sections written to ace/aro people. It felt really unguided.

Besides it being vaguely ambiguous on intended audiences, this book was super negative. It felt like a “all the potential bad things that can happen as an aro/ace person” guide. There was even an “Asexual coming out Bingo” with all the possible negative reactions that someone could have about you coming out. There are amazing things about being aro/ace and there are some hard things, but only focusing on the negative just allows people to think it’s the norm to be treated badly.

Ace and Aro Journeys starts with the very basics and builds on them to create a clear and inclusive guide on asexuality and aromanticism. Testimonials from various aspec people add extra context to each part of the book. Despite it being sub-titled A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity, it’s also a good introduction to the subject for allosexual and alloromantic people who wish to better understand the ace and aro people in their lives.

The book starts with two chapters titled ‘Basics’ and ‘Community History and Culture’, before introducing an ‘identity development model’ with seven stages after which the rest of the book is structured. Through these stages, the book describes common experiences in learning about, exploring and accepting one’s ace or aro identity. Lastly, the book includes a glossary of terms used throughout the book and others that are related to the topic, and a list of other resources for further reading (or watching, listening, etc.).

I think this book is most useful for people who are just starting to learn about asexual and aromantic identities. As someone who has been part of online asexual and, to a lesser extent, aromantic communities for years, I already knew a lot of the information presented. That doesn’t mean I didn’t learn anything new, though! I’m impressed with how comprehensive this guide is. I’ve identified as asexual for about six years now, and this book still helped me realise some things about my identity. Aside from that, I’m very happy to see all the information that I’ve had to slowly absorb over time on the internet compiled in one book.

I’m especially happy that this book is as much about aromanticism as it is about asexuality. As the book itself mentions, aro experiences are even more underrepresented than ace ones, and are often only mentioned as an afterthought in information about asexuality. It’s especially hard for allosexual aromantic people to find community. All of this is addressed in the book and care is taken to include as much information on aro people and experiences as ace ones.

As I said, Ace and Aro Journeys is a comprehensive beginner’s guide to the topic. I did find that information was often repeated, which combined with the academic style made it a dry read at times. The repetition could be helpful for looking up information and/or reading a chapter at a time, however. It just made it a little harder for me to stay engaged as I read the book cover to cover. I also would have enjoyed more or longer personal testimonials to break up the dryer parts of the text.

All in all I think Ace and Aro Journeys could help a lot of people who are looking for information on asexual and aromantic identities, whether for themselves or people around them. It includes all the basics you need and more, while aiming to be as inclusive of different experiences as possible. To top it off, it includes plenty of resources for those who want to dive in deeper. Any aro or ace person reading this book will be sure to learn something and, perhaps more importantly, will be reassured they are not alone.

If it is possible to get burnt out on reading nonfiction about asexual and aromantic identities, that might be happening to me thanks to all of the great books Jessica Kingsley Publishers has put out this year. Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity is yet another, though the Ace and Aro Advocacy Project has done a good job of making sure it is providing a valuable and different perspective. My thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the eARC.

I think the book itself sums it up nicely when it says it aims to be both ace/aro 101 and 201. It covers the basics that so many books already cover about what asexuality and aromanticism are—and then it goes beyond those basics. Like several of the other books I’ve read from JKP this year, this one includes quotations from ace and aro people. However, the authorial voice of Ace and Aro Journeys remains casual yet organizational, a departure from the much more personal voices of individuals who wrote the other books.

Another contrast to the other books I read was that they were all mostly aimed at a-spec audiences, especially a-spec people who are just finding or coming to terms with their identities. While allo people could enjoy those books and learn a lot from them, they weren’t the primary audience. Ace and Aro Journeys, on the other hand, aims much wider. It in fact includes a lot of guidance and advice for allies who want to support their a-spec friends and family. So if you are searching for a book to get the allo person in your life to help them understand you, this one might be it.

Beyond that, I’m going to be honest: the burnout I’m feeling makes it difficult for me to be as enthusiastic about this book if I had just read it on its own. I’m trying to be clear about this because I don’t want to damn the book with faint praise—I think this book is good, and I’m really happy it exists and that I got to read it, but I’ve had too much of a good thing these past few months, and it is showing! What a time to live in when I can complain about reading too much nonfiction about ace and aro experiences, eh?

There are a few other highlights I can mention that make it easy to endorse this book. First, it is very focused on practical steps. It talks about finding support networks and specifically traces the origins of a-spec havens online. From an anthropological perspective, anyone researching or trying to learn more about the earlier days of asexuality on the web could do worse than starting here. As someone who hasn’t ever engaged in specific a-spec communities (I only really found my people on Twitter, and nowadays many have left), this part of the book made me feel a kind of … I don’t know, yearning? So many of the queer spaces where I hang out online are inclusive of ace people but are not necessarily ace-focused. I’m not sure I am going to rush out and join an online space dedicated to a-spec experiences, but this book really got me reflecting on it and what kinds of ace connections I might want in my life.

The sheer number of testimonials from different people is also very powerful. My experiences as an ace person don’t always match up with many of the most visible ace voices out there (and the same is true for my experiences as an aro person). This is the case for a lot of marginalized communities; I am sure my experience of this is not unique! But in this book, I definitely heard stories that felt closer to mine. I hope other a-spec readers find that too.

On that note, I’ll close my review with one other wish that I’ve said previously: these books do a good job of acknowledging the limitations of their positionality, but we need to go further. It’s great to say, “hey, this is primarily from a white and Western point of view.” Nevertheless, it would be even better if publishers like JKP could invest the time in finding non-white, non-Western voices to explore ace and aro identities from those perspectives as well. I hope in the years to come, I can complain about being burned out by the number of those books too.

This is a great book for someone who wants to know themselves better as an Ace person. It's a little too like a textbook for me, but the experiences written by actual Ace people made the book better!

This book is a good guide for examining different identities that don’t get a lot of focus in the media.

Book was ok, offered lots of information for people wanting to learn more about the lived experiences of asexual and aromatic people.

I was expecting Ace and Aro Journeys to be more conversational and positive attitude yet this was dry, academic, and most critically, not inspiring nor raising up. However, much of the info was useful, so consider this a good reference book.

While at times a bit on the dry side, Ace and Aro Journeys was a perfect step into explaining the categories of asexuality and aromanticism. It's more than a simple introduction, but not daunting or overwhelming. I'd recommend for people on the spectrum, people questioning, and people who want to learn more.

For starters I could not get past the formatting on this one. Hopefully in print or final digital form the formatting is improved because it made it near impossible for me to read. In addition this seemed a little more based on the organizations thoughts than hard research. I have read several other books on asexuality and this one just did not stand up in comparison for me.

I struggled a bit with this one. It was semi-academic which didn't work in it's favor. The academic language could've easily scared some people away but it also wasn't actually sited or given research examples so it wouldn't be useable for an actual psychology paper or research.

Not bad, but not necessarily accessible for everyone.

Another aspec nonfiction and once again I'm on the fence. This one took me a long time to get through and there were multiple times when I wanted to put it away and not come back. Which doesn't mean that it's a bad book!

My main problem was that I really don't know who is the intended audience of this book. A vast majority of this book is dedicated to expanding on an aro/ace identity development theory. Which is a psychological theory... but this is not a psychology book. And the theory doesn't pretend to be academic, either, there are hardly any references and the research behind it is never explained. Which is confusing because that means it's basically unuseable for academics, especially psychologists, but the semi-academic language makes it way less accessible for an average reader.

Is it written for aspec or questioning people? I'm not sure, it was a heavy read full of dismantling of aphobia and negative experiences and violence but even more strikingly, it seems almost hostile towards aspec communities, mentioning multiple times (basically almost any time an aspec community is mentioned) that you're basically only likely to experience prejudice, violence or other form of hostility there. It made it really hard to read and these were the times when I almost dnf-ed it.

Is it for the allies? Maybe? There are some pretty nice guides on how to react to someone coming out in various settings and lists of resources.

There are some great lists and advice for various situations here. However, it's also another aspec book that is very US-centric (I love when authors pretend that it's "Western" but their reality doesn't transcribe to Western Europe at all) and a lot of advice just isn't relevant to someone who doesn't live there. While the author's try to be super inclusive and it's noticeabe, they fail to realize that not everyone lives in a place where queer identities have any sort of protection or acceptance, much less aspecs. At the last check, the only place where aspecs were legally protected was New York City so some of the advice is almost dangerous - you can't fall back on legal regulations in a workplace to protect you if there are no regulations like that in the first place. They also repeatedly recommend to turn to your local aspec organizations as if that was a popular thing that exists all over the world.

Also, format note - I think it would read much better in a physical copy, all the lists and appendices would be much more accessible.

In the introductory chapter, it's stated that the goal of the book is to be a stepping stone to understanding the asexual and aromantic identities and communities, including discussing challenges individuals on these spectrums often experience. In my opinion, the book is incredibly successful at achieving its goal. There is a combination of definitions and discussions of community, quotes from a variety of individuals about their personal ace and aro experiences, and a walkthrough of an interpretation of The Asexual Identity Development Model offering advice at each of the seven steps. from What I think is this book's biggest strength and appeal is its clear audience - there are very specific sections that are aimed towards aspec individuals confident in their identity, sections that offer advice to people who may be questioning if they are asexual or aromantic, and sections that speak directly to the allies who are picking up this book to support any aspecs in their life. There is also a very evident emphasis on the differences between asexuality and aromanticism, and, while acknowledging the possible overlap, makes sure to offer information for individuals identifying on one spectrum but not the other. I will say that at times, this book did feel like reading a textbook, and occasionally I felt like it was focusing too much on negative outcomes or situations. I do appreciate that it didn't shy away from discussions of negativity, such as explicitly stating that the asexual and aromantic communities are not immune to racism, homophobia, and ableism, it felt a little heavy at times which could be difficult for someone questioning their identity to read. There were also bullet points offering direct advice in the later chapters, but these sometimes felt very repetitive especially if there were multiple sections per chapter. I respected that there was such a big emphasis on trusting yourself in understanding your own identity and relationship with the terminology and community, because words are personal and your own experiences can shape what they are able to mean for you.

Overall I found this to be a really great introduction to the asexual and aromantic communities, as well as advice on evaluating your personal identity and ability to achieve confidence in yourself. I'd recommend it to anyone questioning if they are asexual or aromantic, and for individuals who want to learn about and support the aces and aros in their lives. It's a rather all-encompassing read, and I feel like everyone who picks it up, no matter how they identify, will learn something important. *Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, for the early copy, all thoughts and opinions are my own.*

I requested this book because I think I may be on the ace spectrum myself and thought this might help me figure out where I might fit in. I actually found myself being more confused after having read it. I understand that sexuality is hugely broad but I found the sheer number of new words and terminology used in this book right from the start to be quite overwhelming. I think this book could be great for people who are already established in and/or knowledgeable about the LGBTQ+ community, this is a great read, as the different stories were great, but for anyone who might be questioning or completely new to the community, this book may be confusing.

As a side note, I am not very good at reading non-fiction in print so I may have got on with this book better as an audiobook and I acknowledge that that may have had an impact on my rating.

As an ace myself I was really excited to read this. It was very informative I even learned quite a bit! I would recommend this book to anyone that is asexual, in the queer community, or is even curious about what this book is about. Thank you to NetGalley for providing me an ebook ARC!

2.5 rounded to 3

As someone who is ace/aro, I was really excited to read this book. I was hoping that I would be a brilliant book that I knew a younger me would have loved and appreciated.

While the personal accounts/quotes did help a bit with the writing, the book felt very repetitive and insensitive to ace/aro people.

I genuinely felt a bit uncomfortable when reading it.

It would have been so much nice if they went on the personal route a bit more, seeing if they could source conversations from online forums rather than a lot of the statistics that just felt harsh and weren't explained very well.

I almost DNF'd this book at the HP reference 15% into the book (because please, STOP. If you truly respect and support Trans people ans Jewish people and everyone that that author has offended and continues to harass, you wouldn't even think to add a reference to a book like this.) But I decided to continue on because I wanted it to get better.

That being said, some things I did relate to eg the mention of ace/aro people trying to fit in at a young age pretending to have crushes on people to fit in. I did that a lot.

But overall, for anyone who is new to the terms aro and ace, I don't think this is the first book you should pick up. It can be confusing, repetitive and just lacks personal experiences to back up all of the facts that it gives.

I do appreciate the publishers for providing me with an eArc of this book, I'm genuinely sad that I didn't love it as much as I wanted to.

4.25 stars

*eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

really glad this book exists! for me it was a little bit too 101-y, but i'm not the target audience for those sections so that was absolutely fine. i loved the sections about community history, and the use of academic explanations like the model of coming into your identity where it was relevant in a really accessible way. it was really honest and helpful about difficult emotions that come up about living in an allosexual/amatonormative society, and how to engage with ace/aro communities with lots of great resources at the end. also i appreciated that aromanticism featured significantly and didn't feel tacked on as it can do in some other aspec resources i've engaged with.
i would have put the glossary at the beginning, but i was using an ebook which made it much harder to flick between sections than it would have been otherwise. also i did think the book slightly simplified how non-ace/aro queer people realise their identities - i appreciate this book isn't about those experiences but in comparing how aspec people realise theirs it made it seem like it's easy for non-aspec queer people to recognise and label their attraction.