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Ace and Aro Journeys

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Member Reviews

I received a free ARC in exchange for an honest review

A nonfiction read that explains the more difficult-to-understand yet easy-to-explain aspects of asexuality. As a bisexual aromantic, I feel this read will become essential in the next few years as it is very well-researched and will provide education on such matters without too much discourse.

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This is an interesting and informative guide to understand asexual and aromantic people.

It felt like it was well-researched and highly involved, trying to give as many resources and viewpoints as possible. It was highly theoretical at times, even though there are many quotes and experiences from people in the aspect community. Personally, I think the writing made it hard to stay engaged in the book, but I don't think that's the point of this. It's not a novel - it's a resource, a guide. And for that I think that in a world where a life of sex and amatonormativity seems like everyone’s goal, this book felt a universal ok to just drop it and actually pay attention to all the options that exist. I feel like I’ll come back to read some parts of this from time to time.

Thank you Net Galley for the eARC.

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Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book.

I think this is an important book, that not only ace and aro people should read. I really enjoyed the quotes in this book from people on the ace and aro spectrum. It made the book more personal.

Another thing I appreciated about the book was that it covered different types of attraction. There was also a very good glossary at the end of the book. Finally, I also liked that the book gave advice to the reader, both to ace and aro people, but in general as well.

Now for what I didn't like. I wasn't a fan of the HP reference, although it was small it was still very unnecessary.

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Thank you to the publishers for the opportunity to check out an ARC of this book through Netgalley!

I finished this at just the right time as International Asexuality Day is tomorrow! I was super excited to receive an ARC of this book. I think overall this book is set up like a textbook which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I do think it may make people not necessarily want to pick it up.

I think with it being set up as a textbook it's a great resource for someone who thinks they are aspec or wants to learn more as being aspec. As someone who is aspec I learned so much that I wasn't even aware of.

As I was reading I did catch some typos or some things here or there that didn't exactly make sense. I think the part that could use some improvement is the section that examples on how to come out. The examples that were given seemed very unlikely to ever go down that way. I think seeing some more fleshed out examples may be useful.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this book as a starting point for anyone beginning their research into asexuality/aromanticism. It's an incredibly comprehensive tool.

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Another Ace and Aro nonfiction…I’ve read many of these books so far this year. This one is good. It has resources and data and anecdotal stuff. I feel like this one encompasses everything I read from the other ace nonfiction books I’ve read so far.

I didn’t particularly feel any kind of way about this book because it reminded me of a research paper that I want to read. It wasn’t boring, but it also wasn’t amazing.

Thank you NetGalley, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project for allowing me to read this eARC for my honest opinion.

Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project releases April 21, 2023!

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Thank you to Net Galley for an eARC!

Tldr: A clinical step by step approach to guide someone (including allies) through the process of identifying and accepting their asexual and/or aromantic identity. Very easy to understand and well organized. An excellent read for aspecs and allies alike.

The book is divided into 10 sections. Sections 1-3 are the basics, history, and the identity development model which is the frame for the next 7 sections.

The IDM outlines the process one goes through during their aspec journey from never having heard of the term through to full acceptance.

Part 1: Ignorance. This chapter discusses the feelings one has before learning about aspec labels and identities.

Part 2: Discovery of terminology: a self explanatory title.

Part 3: Identity Confusion: Ace specific and aro specific experiences, experiences with partnering, fear of pathologization, trauma, shifting orientations, intersectionality, gatekeepers, etc.

Part 4: Exploration and Education: Online/offline communities, media representation, community engagement

Part 5: Identity Acceptance and Salience Negotiation: Finding labels, processing negative feelings, finding community, creating a future, recontextualizing the past

Part 6: Coming out: common issues and fears, who to come out to, different coming out strategies, appropriate responses for when someone comes out to you

Part 7: Identity Integration: community involvement, confidence

Section 10 is the conclusion, wrapping up with aspec joy, an extensive glossary, and appendices with some fun bonuses.

Each section is written with a definition or explanation, examples, quotes from aspecs, and advice on how to apply the information.

This book is very thorough in definitions. It clearly explains what they are but also how the definitions are never black and white. There are several examples of how there can be nuances for the labels. That being said, it feels more clinical and technical, less casual friend conversation vibes.

Sadly there is a HP reference. It's in the history section, but it could have been alluded to instead of being mentioned by name, or left our all together.

There's a section called 'Advice for allies' which is a nice touch. Yes the book is for aspec questioning folks, but it's nice that there is a page you can hand to a queer ally and they can get some quick info.

My favorite section was how to respond to someone coming out as aspec. Generic and also as a partner, family member, doctors/therapists, friends, coworkers.

This is the most information on aromanticism I have read in a book and it was a delight! It's definitely worth picking up just for the aro parts.

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I received an eARC of this book for review from the Jessica Kingsley Publishers via NetGalley, all opinions are my own.
• The Brief: This is an explanation of the seven stages along the path of identifying on the asexual or aromatic spectrums, including advice for those on the journey. It's for anyone interested in a detailed exploration of one model explaining this process.
• Although it is primarily a guide to asexuals and aromantics, it would be helpful for anyone seeking to understanding more about experience of being ace.

Ace and Aro Journeys is an exploration processing and accepting an asexual or aromatic identity written for those who have, or think they might, used one or both of those labels to describe their experiences. The language is clear and straightforward, although the text takes care to document appropriate sources. It is organized around the recently developed Asexual Identity Development Model*, and includes short excerpts from surveys which provide context and examples of important points. There is an extensive glossary, but the text itself does not focus on defining terms. The appendix is a list of resources: published material, internet sites, influencers, etc.

There is a lot of good information here. The overarching structure and chapter format supported the mission of the book. It is very readable and informative. It was occasionally a little repetitive, at times it felt like nearly identical sentences were repeated in multiple chapters. Given the reliance on the survey as supporting evidence, the decision to withhold demographics and analytical statistics was uncomfortable for me. I would recommend this, with the understanding that I do question some of the decisions.

*The Asexual Identity Development Model:
1. Ignorance
2. Discovery of Terminology
3. Identity Confusion
4. Exploration and Education
5. Identity Acceptance and Salience Negotiation
6. Coming Out
7. Identity Integration

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As I noted in my Ace Notes review, comparisons of this book with Sounds Fake But Okay and Ace Notes are inevitable with all three books coming from the same publisher in the same year. This book is the most formal of the three and has the best explanations of the history of asexuality and its contemporary iterations. It includes some quotes from aspec individuals but lacks the indepth interviews found in Ace Notes. I found this book the best in balancing needed background and historical information with discussion of various topics, but others may prefer the more conversational tones of Sounds Fake But Okay and Ace Notes. Ace and Aro Journeys is the most professional and comprehensive, so it’s the one I’d most likely use as I continue exploring the asexual community and its history, both as an individual and a researcher.

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A broad yet coheasive coverage of what it means to be Ace from various experiences as the spectrum is so diverse. Great for someone just beginning to figure out who they are, for those already familiar and for those who just want to understand a bit more what the ace experience is.

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Well worth a read, for anyone who’s aspec or questioning or just wants to know more about the community. I’m aromantic asexual, have known I’m aspec for years, and was still learning new things by the end of Chapter 1. I felt very seen by this book, and think it is an excellent read.
It’s not perfect, but I would never expect it to be, and the authors are well aware of this and acknowledge it throughout. They provide a multitude of additional resources for anyone who wishes to know more, though, and it is very difficult to sum up an entire community in less than 300 pages, so I think they did very well. There is commentary from aro/ace people who were surveyed for the book interspersed throughout, which help to contextualise what it discusses. There are also various hypothetical scenarios which reflect the diversity of people who identify as aromantic or asexual. The complexities of intersecting identities and what may seem to be conflicting labels and the realities of living as an aro/ace person are not shied away from, but handled very respectfully.
In short, this book is clearly very well researched and written by people who are part of the aspec community and are proud of it. Read it, you won’t regret it.

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I identify as ace and I have leqrned more about aromanticism thabks to this book. However, I found the format a bit all over the place as is like a mix of textbook with self-help. It is also a bit repetitive at timed when goving advice. Still an important read for those who are new to this or/and want to know more about asexuality and aromanticism.

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'Ace and Aro Journeys' offers and an introductory guide to ace and aro identities, and covers potential stages involved with learning about your identity, accepting your identity, and coming out. The book defines a wide range of terms related to aspec identities interspersed with quotations from people who identify with the terms. The mix of clear explanations and personal experiences helps to create multiple paths to understanding. As the book continues through its guide to stages of understanding and accepting an aspec identity, it balances recognizing past understandings and research about aro and ace identities with sharing what criticisms they may receive ad where opinions may differ.

I appreciated the section towards the end which shared a reminder there are positive aspects to discovering an aro or ace identity, as I think this can be helpful for some people discovering their identities to remember, as it definitely was for me. Overall, I always enjoy the opportunity to hear more about aspec experiences and learn more about my own identity.

**Thanks to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing an arc in exchange for an honest review**

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I liked that this was written by ace and aro people for ace and aro people. That was super validating and at times felt like reading a more coherent version of my own internal monologue. It was great that this book gave being aro equal importance to being ace. As little ace representation there is out there, there is even less aro representation. I am aroace myself but reading alloaro and alloace perspectives was intriguing - I am glad both of these identities were treated as their own entities rather than being conflated. I appreciated the thorough explanations of the Split Attraction Model and about the attraction confusion that A-Spec people tend to experience. Having the correct language to express those sometimes abstract and blurred feelings is so important. The very specific advice for specific situations is practical. I especially loved reading the section on the history and culture of the communities.

The overall structure of this was good however I don't feel like discovering an ace and/or aro identity is necessarily as linear as this book made it seem at times.

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I really liked this guide. The stages of identity development were a good structure format. This book is inclusive while it does focus on two unique but sometimes intersecting identities (aro and ace). I think many people in various stages of identity (including allies) will find something relevant and educational here.

I'm so excited that there are more books about this topic, and I wouldn't recommend all of them. This is a book I will recommend. Both to folks exploring their own identities and to allies who want to understand more folks who have shared their journeys with them.

I loved the personal anecdotes throughout, it helped illustrate the diversity of experiences. I enjoyed the "our advice" sections at the end of each chapter - this gave a good summary of what came before with some forward momentum to continue exploring.

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Many thanks to Netgalley for letting me read an ebook ARC of this!

As someone on the asexual spectrum myself, I was eager to pick this up when I saw it on the Netgalley shelf.

This book by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project seeks to delve into the process of discovering and embracing being ace or aro. It also intends to enlighten those who know nothing about these identities - teaching them the right terminology and the potential struggles, issues, and possible backlash they face.

'Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity' is exactly what it sets out to be: A guidebook to being on the ace/aro spectrum, and helping those who want to support the ace/aro people in their lives.

Although the writing can seem a little dry at times - as the purpose is to inform and give accurate and understandable facts - this seems very intentional and doesn't detract from its quality.
Its aim is to be a guidebook, and it succeeds.

A lot of effort has gone into collating personal accounts, surveys, and research to accurately present the facts. It's very impressive that - given the amount of variations of ace/aro identities - it manages to clearly and concisely explain the differences and experiences each group face.
I reckoned I knew quite a bit about the topic, but it turns out I knew a lot less than I thought!

I'd highly recommend this to anyone who is coming to terms with being ace/aro, or someone who wants to understand and educate themselves about a group of people who do not get enough representation.

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I've read quite a few non fiction books that cover asexuality (and very briefly aromantacism), and I have to say, this has to be one of my favorites.

One thing that I'm always hoping for when reading another book about identities is to learn something new, and I was pleasantly surprised that even with my background, this book had more to give. This book is laid out in a very accessible manner, full of great information and resources throughout, and written in a light enough way that it can easily be read in a day. This book is honestly a fantastic resource for everyone, no matter their familiarity with asexuality and aromantacism.

The first thing I want to say that's amazing about this book that I have yet to see in others like it: aromantacism isn't neglected and given a paragraph explanation that it exists and is different than asexuality. This book carries on throughout with both orientations, showing the similarities and differences in experiences for each. There are excellent quotes throughout that come from a diverse group of people with different intersecting identities, including allo aros.

This book has a great tone and voice, it is written by a collective of people, but the writing is consistent throughout (with one exception with some awkward theoretical dialogue). It is done more from an educational and informative point of view rather than relating information through the authors' own stories, which I really enjoyed. Quotes were inserted throughout the book from surveys/interviews to support the information presented in a very effective way.

I think this book does a great job of showcasing some aspects of the aspec experience that I haven't seen talked about much in other books, including that some people don't even realize their experience differs from most people and that sometimes there is a period of mourning your imagined future in your identity journey. Not only that, but also showing the parallels and differences that exist between the aspec communities and the broader LGBTQ+ community.

Intersectionality is brought up throughout this book, mostly from a more broad perspective, but this book acknowledges the way that different parts of a person's identity will change their experience with asexuality and or aromantacism. If you're looking for a book that goes more in depth with intersectionality though, I would recommend Angela Chen's Ace.

There is a lot more I can talk about with this book (acknowledging that some existing representation is not accurate or harmful! Yes!) But I want to end by emphasizing how many resources this book provides. There is a fantastic glossary of terms at the end as well as a monster of an appendix that has tons of other resources and descriptions of them. I'm really excited for this book to come out to use as a resource for myself and others.

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I found this book an odd combination of academic-style writing, which talks about ace and aro people as "they" and self-help writing using "you". It seemed like a number of things were presented twice, once at an academic remove, and once directed to ace people. So it felt a bit distant rather than warm and accepting. It's got a lot of useful info, though, so appreciate that.

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As usual with this kind of non fiction, take my rating with a grain of salt, especially since I have realised I do not really enjoy reading non fiction about topics I already know a lot about, and generally I prefer memoirs and non fiction about personal experiences or crime.
Anyways, this is a great book if you are new to the aromantic and asexual spectrum discussion, and especially — I believe — if you are questioning yourself. This book will surely help you feel seen, understood and affirmed, so I would highly recommend it for this.
What I liked the most about this guide were definitely the quotes from people who compiled the survey from The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project, hence my realisation I do prefer “personal” non fiction to general non fiction. I wish there were more of those, but at the same time I believe they were placed perfectly, and it was interesting to read from different perspectives. The ace and aro communities are very much about sharing experiences to understand each other and one self, so it made sense to have them sprinkled throughout the guide.
The book was also really inclusive, and took into account how experiences may vary for people with different cultural, ethnic and religious background, disabilities of any kind or traumas of multiple origins, and for people of different races, genders and with varying sexual and romantic orientations other than on the asexual and aromantic spectrum.
This, I really appreciated, however it still felt a bit anglophone world-centric, but that was addressed by the authors themselves. Sadly, in Italy, we don’t have as many aro and aces communities in real life, and all the aro and/or ace people I met, I met online.
I also really liked that the authors took time to showcase how, while often linked and somewhat similar in some aspects, the aromantic and asexual spectrum are two different things, and it was nice to see such attention given to the aro-spec people. I find that usually, when talking about aromanticism and asexuality, the bigger focus is on the latter, and the former is often disregarded or treated as the same thing as asexuality. Aromantic people often feel alienated for this, but I find that this book will make them feel seen and understood.
Personally, I wasn’t a big fan of the “Our advice” sections at the end of each chapter, but that was more of a me problem, due to the fact that all the information contained in the book, I already knew. For people who are just now approaching the subject, this advice may be vital, and I am glad it was included. It is a guide, after all, and it is written like one.
Overall, I would recommend this book. However, if you — like me — already know a lot of things about aromanticism and asexuality, this might feel reduntant. But, if you are looking for answers, knowledge or if you need a book to make you feel understood as an aromantic or asexual person, this is definitely the book for you. I am very happy to have read it, so that I can now recommend it to questioning people and allo people wanting to know more about the a-spec and how to be a better ally to their friends and a-spec people in general.

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A great starting point for anyone who wants to learn more about asexuality or are recently coming to terms with the fact that they are asexual. This felt very affirming as an asexual person seeing other peoples experiences and feelings. The only downside for me if that it started to get a bit repetitive.

It’s got a very extensive glossary and appendix which I think is super valuable.

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"If you are ace or aro, you are not alone--you have never been alone."

I think at this point I've read every ace/aro nonfiction book that's been published in the last 5 years (I'm ace aro spec and I like learning about different perspectives). Because of this, lot of them are very similar with the presented scientific information. I tend to prefer ones that have a more personal approach since at this point I know all the scientific information. But if this is your first book on ace/aro spec and you are wanting a more scientific approach instead of a personal approach, you will enjoy it and learn a lot.

Happy aro awareness week.

Thank you to netgally for a free copy in exchange for an honest review!

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