Cover Image: Go the Way Your Blood Beats

Go the Way Your Blood Beats

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Member Reviews

a raw and introspective journey through the complexities of identity, desire, and self-discovery. Through poetic prose and vivid imagery, Monterey invites readers into a world where authenticity reigns supreme. Monterey's writing is both haunting and beautiful, capturing the universal struggle to embrace one's truest self.It is a courageous and unapologetic exploration of what it means to live authentically in a world that often demands conformity.

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This is a gorgeous memoir of what it means to grow up-disabled, gay and briefly somewhat famous in 1980's London. De Monterey has a beautiful story telling style that completely draws you in. He talks about everything from what it was to have the cameras etc follow him around both before and just after what was suppose to be a life-alternating surgery, his relationship with his grandmother in the UK and his grandfather in the USA, what it meant for him to have to change school because the place that he gotten into wouldn't accommodate his needs, to coming to the slow realization that he's not just disabled, he's gay.
Overall this is a book written with a deep understanding of what it is to be human and to deal with limitations (especially other peoples) with grace. A fantastic debut and an absolutely gorgeous read.

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This was an easy book to sink into, with a moving and well-written narrative. Titled after a James Baldwin quote, Go the Way Your Blood Beats is a wonderful memoir exploring the author's life growing up gay and disabled in the 1980s in London. It's written in a format of twenty-six chronological short stories that string together to form a cohesive narrative, and captures the intensely ableist and homophobic society that de Monterey grew up in. Occasionally the author adds in reflection on the limitations of memoir, writing that he doesn't remember exactly what happened in one moment in time, or that some of his memories could be mimicry from watching events on television. Similarly, the author of the present provides commentary and reflection on his past self's thoughts, noting that what he believed at the time would change over the course of his life to come.

All in all, I really enjoyed this book, and I recommend it to anyone who loves memoir and is prepared for a brutal truth of an ending!

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The was a gorgeous, unflinching memoir of growing up disabled and gay. The author progressed through his childhood as he struggled with the way his cerebral palsy limited his physical abilities, and the way this influenced his relationship with his body. Educational systems were stacked against him, either segregated in “special” schools or poorly served by a mainstream that refused to accommodate him, with people eventually viewing his experience as a failed experiment at integration. I really appreciated how he considered his CP through his individual experiences as well as through the social vs medical models of disability, showing that self-hatred doesn’t form in a vacuum.

His accounts of recognising his queerness while surrounded by homophobia—from his peers, teachers and family members—during the era of Section 28, when teachers were forbidden from speaking about queer issues and frequently did little to stymie homophobic bullying, was particularly painful to read given recent rising queerphobia in the UK. His account of his first Pride had me smiling through tears, it was heartening and bittersweet in turns.

The prose itself was straightforwardly beautiful. Most heartbreaking was the isolation that was painfully familiar — too queer for the disabled community, too disabled for the queer community, left belonging to neither. This memoir put me through many big emotions, not least anger at how little some things have changed. It will stay with me for a long time, and I’m going to be recommending it to everyone.

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‘Go the Way Your Blood Beats’ is a memoir that is raw, unflinchingly honest, excellently written and everything a memoir should be. Emmett who has cerebral palsy and is gay explores his identity and also the identity that society puts on him due to how he is perceived. At times it is a difficult read as it doesn’t try to make the reader comfortable but instead does something more important and makes you look at the realities and how we get so much wrong through putting people who share various characteristics as a homogenous group who must only have one experience. As a disabled person I really liked how Emmett showed through his own experiences the social versus medical models of disability and both how things have changed over time and yet so many of the same prejudices remain. A book that will remain with me.

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A heartbreaking read. A memoir of being gay and disabled in the 80s. I found it eyeopening and heart warming. Would recommend.

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At a tender eighteen months of age, Emmett de Monterey receives a sombre diagnosis of cerebral palsy, burdening his youthful artist parents, who had been relishing the joys of their jubilant, beaming baby.

Set against the backdrop of 1980s southeast London, Emmett's existence unfolds, marked by the cruelty of street spit and the solace of church prayers. His educational journey is fraught with obstacles as he contends with educators who disregard his needs, compelling him to navigate stairs with gruelling effort. Even within a specialized college for disabled students, Emmett encounters prejudice, facing expulsion based on unverified speculations about his sexuality.

Hope glimmers when Emmett becomes a candidate for groundbreaking surgery in America—a procedure he pins his aspirations on, yearning for the prospect of walking unaided, of experiencing the commonplace beauty of movement, of holding hands in public without reservation. The operation is anticipated as a miracle, a potential remedy for his struggles. Yet, reality betrays his hopes, and Emmett confronts a world that often renders disabled individuals invisible, stripping them of desire and recognition. His battle for visibility commences.

This narrative is a resounding testament to its potency, gripping readers even as it traverses arduous terrain. Though challenging at points, the tale's compelling nature prevails.

While the eBook holds its allure, there exists room for improvement in terms of user-friendliness. Enhancements such as embedded chapter links, seamless text formatting, and an encompassing book cover design would refine the eBook's presentation, transitioning it from a document-like format to a fully immersive literary experience. A slight reduction in my rating reflects this aspect.

For a debut introduction to the author's works, this piece has left an indelible mark, eliciting my eagerness to explore their future literary endeavours. The book's captivating cover design would undoubtedly beckon attention from bookstore shelves. My sincerest appreciation extends to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for extending the opportunity to delve into this advance reading copy—a literary privilege that is deeply valued.

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An honest and heartbreaking memoir of growing up gay and disabled in 1980s London. Many times while reading I found myself thinking that the prejudice the author faced felt more like 1950s than 1980s-1990s and I hope we've come along way as a society since then. Though there was a lot of heartbreak in the story, ultimately it is one of resilience and success, and his parents and the close friends he has are truly bright spots in a difficult childhood. A very moving and well written memoir.

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Go the Way Your Blood Beats is a beautifully-written memoir of growing up queer and disabled.

In wonderfully fluid prose, de Monterey charts his childhood through friendships, medical appointments, schools and first love. Honest and intimate, he is not afraid to grapple with painful memories, revealing how the pressures of an abelist, homophobic society impacted his own sense of identity. The microaggressions de Monterey describes make you realise just how devastating an impact these seemingly minor comments or actions can have, whether they are intentional or not.

There is also a charming sense of intimacy in the way de Monterey describes place and characters - particularly his loving-rendered family. There's an immediacy to the prose that sweeps you up in his story, and makes Go the Way Your Blood Beats a really engaging, emotive read.

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Disabled and gay this memoir is frank and moving. Realising it was set in 1980s London was a shock, attitudes of many have changed so much over such a short period of time. With liberal artist parents what em faces is a life with problems many would not consider, but his strength and determination sees him building a better future.
Whatever you identify as, consider reading this, as a story of hope and courage.

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This is a memoir of growing up gay and disable in London of the 90’s. This book is very good I enjoy know Emmet life and story. This book is warmth and emotional, is such a intimate memoir that is so intense and so beautiful that could be one of my favourite memoirs this years. Is a solid ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for me. I left this book feeling GREATFUL, heartbroken but this book is written beautiful and very poetic, big Shout out to the author for sharing this beautiful book with us. Thanks to NetGalley , the editor and the author for the ARC of this book in exchange of a Honest review

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I’m sitting here looking at a blank page, wondering how to word a review that does this frank and honest book justice.

Go The Way Your Blood Beats is a memoir, written by Emmett de Monterey.
The author’s story runs more or less in parallel to my own, Emmett being just a few years younger than me.

Emmett’s story starts with his premature birth, weighing a tiny 1lb 1oz. His survival seems miraculous, though after reading his memoir, I’m sure the author would not appreciate this terminology. We travel through his diagnosis with cerebral palsy, and his understanding and acceptance of being gay; the behaviour and attitudes of others in the brutal 1980s and 90s.

The very last page, when Emmett had brought his story up to date, made me gasp out loud. I find it makes me both sad, and incredibly angry that anyone can have thoughts such as these, let alone voice them out loud, in the age in which we live. I truly hope that that individual, is in a tiny minority, and that most of the world now possesses the emotional intelligence to understand that difference makes us neither less, or more than anyone else. The world would be a rather dull place if we were all replicas of each other.

The book is raw and intimate, showing his childhood experiences of, in Emmett’s own words, his “double difference”. As a reader, I felt so many emotions. I felt angry, sad, ashamed for the behaviour of general society, afraid for the author; while his first experience of Pride made me smile.

Emmett is painfully honest, brutally so in places. His strong voice is bold, brave and courageous. The book shows the resilience of human nature. To have encountered such narrow-minded and judgemental attitudes, and now to be happy and comfortable in your own skin, is to be celebrated.

Thank you for sharing your story so honestly Emmett, for shining a light on your experiences. I wish you nothing but the very best in your future. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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‘Mum, why did you have me?’
She looked startled; her face clouding, wary. ‘Well, we
wanted a baby. We wanted you.
‘I hate you,’ I said quietly. ‘I wish you hadn’t.’
// ‘You should have got a better one, then. I’m useless, broken.’

This is an extraordinary memoire about growing up disabled and queer in the 80s. The writing is consistent, heartbreaking and gripping and I found myself completely hooked from the first few pages.
I cried, I laughed and I ached my way through it, as a queer disabled person, the authors accounts of his life struck me deep and I couldn't put it down.
I highly recommend reading this.
Thank you to Netgalley, Penguin General and Viking for the ARC.

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AN EXTRAORDINARILY MOVING AND ORIGINAL MEMOIR OF GROWING UP GAY AND DISABLED IN 1980S LONDON. Thanks to a great author we have warmth, wisdom and emotional intelligence, this book was a huge pleasure to read!

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I tired to read this story four times and every time I got a little farther in my heart kept breaking for Emmett, the stuff he was put through just for being born.
Knowing that he was able to get through it and find a way to be happy after all that is heartwarming, his fight to be recognised and treated fairly was powerful and moving

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What a brave young man the author is. His account of growing up disabled and gay during the 1980’s was extremely moving and a shameful indictment of the attitudes of society at that time. What is even more shameful is how little some people’s attitudes have changed since that time. Emmett’s struggles through school are especially sad and the refusal of most of the staff to support and intervene is disgraceful . How alone and lost this poor young man must have felt. He is very honest in his recounting of how he ‘dealt’ with this . I could happily have read more about the intervening time between the main body of the book and the epilogue which led to me feeling the end was a little curtailed. However, I feel very humbled for having read this memoir and it has given me a much better understanding of the author’s life.

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