A heart-wrenching and heartfelt story about a Filipina-American teen struggling with the death of her mother.

This novel was a great reminder that everyone grieves in their own way. We, of course, are in the perspective of Marisol but we also get a glimpse into how her younger brother and father are grieving as well.

This story felt eerily similar to my own. I am also Filipina-American and my mom unexpectedly fell into a coma when I was 20 years old. She never woke up and then passed a couple of years later. Similar to Marisol’s parents, my mom and dad met because of the military. Then to top it all off, my last name is Martin haha!

I also have two younger brothers and an older sister. Marisol’s story gave me a glimpse into some of the struggles my youngest brother may have been enduring because he was the same age as Marisol when we lost our mom. Specifically, I remember how his driving lessons go put on hold and all the driving scenes with Marisol reminded me of that. How Marisol dealt with her mother’s passing was so different from how I did, but I appreciated the difference. However, like Marisol, I did engage in some self-destructive behaviors, but that’s a story for another time.

I thought this novel gave a unique look into what it feels like to not only lose your mother, but a mother who was your connection to part of your culture. Growing up, my mom did not teach us Tagolog because she wanted to give us the best chance of assimilation. In other words, she didn’t want us to be “othered” due to an accent like she experienced. Prior to losing her, she had begun teaching me some phrases. I thought the author, Shannon C. F. Rogers, did a wonderful job at conveying the hole that a mother can leave especially when without her you no longer hear her language as often, participate in certain events, nor eat the same food. I had always planned to visit the Philippines with my mom and never got to; I feel a loss from all the stories I didn’t get a chance to hear about her life before kids, and I feel a connection to her through Filipino food dishes. There’s a scene in the novel where Marisol tries to make garlic fried rice and I instantly thought of eating this for breakfast with my mom. Something my sister has done is to recreate the dishes and has written them down to pass on.

This book can be a comfort to other Fil-Ams and a look into what it’s like for children of interracial and immigrant couples. The characters are imperfect and relatable. Although my review focuses on grief, I should also mention that this novel does cover coming-of-age, friendship, and sibling dynamics. This story was close to home for me, but regardless of your background, I think many will be touched by this story.

Marisol Martin and her mother do not get along. They are constantly in a fight and yelling at each other. But when Marisol’s mother dies suddenly, she’s left with a lot of anger and no one to fight with. And when she sleeps with her best friend’s boyfriend (and then subsequently punches her in the face), she’s also left with no friends. She’s determined to stay angry (she has a lot to be angry about after all), but when an unexpected friendship develops, she slowly starts opening up and seeing that maybe she doesn’t have to be so angry all the time.

If you’ve ever had a strained relationship with your mother, this book will really hit you where it hurts. I saw a lot of myself in Marisol, especially in the scenes in which she interacts with her mother. She is an incredibly relatable and flawed character and feels all the more real for it. Rogers was able to capture the essence of Marisol’s strained relationship with her mother as well as all the regular teenage angst and anxiety.

Oftentimes when grief is depicted, it is depicted as sadness and withdrawing. That is not the case here. Marisol’s grief manifests itself in anger - at anything and anyone around her. The nuance and intricacies that Rogers was able to weave into Marisol’s anger was masterful. Consistently angry characters that are constantly lashing out can get a bit irritating at times, but the waves of anger and the reasoning behind Marisol’s anger made her an incredibly sympathetic character that I couldn’t help but feel for.

The story felt like a punch in the gut right from the beginning and the hits just kept on coming. Though the entire book is told from Marisol’s POV, we are able to see (through Marisol’s limited view) how her father and brother are also grieving. The theme of grief is strong throughout, but so are the things that you can and should try to do in order to help yourself process it.

With relatable characters, emotional topics, and a wonderful understanding of how to weave it all together, Rogers leads us on a journey of healing - for Marisol and maybe even ourselves.

Disclaimer: I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher for free and have voluntarily written this review.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this eARC.

I'd Rather Burn Than Bloom follows teen Marisol Martin as she falls apart in the wake of her mother's untimely death.

In all honesty, I kind of can't believe this is a YA debut. The story is magnificently fully realized, a beautiful and heart-wrenching coming-of-age narrative which centers on grief and family and complex relationships. The characters are rich and real, all of them so beautiful and so flawed I feel like I know them. I cried a few times as Marisol went through her many struggles, and by the end of the book, my heart felt full and hopeful. I also appreciated the interpersonal and individual complexity that Marisol and her friends' identities contributed to this story. This is a story that doesn't just involve race, but also heritage and family legacy, and the ways in which those aspects of identity can intersect with others.

Overall, I thought this was beautifully, spectacularly done, and I am so looking forward to Shannon C. F. Rogers' future work.

Shannon Rogers' debut YA novel is a potent look at grief, rage, and diaspora. Marisol is struggling with these things from the very beginning, but clearly it gets worse when her mom passes at the very beginning of the book. It sets of chains of events that are realistic and painful, and it's exactly the type of portrayal I would have wanted to read as a teen struggling with these same things at a high school in Albuquerque. I read this book in a single sitting because of it. It's the kind of character and the kind of story I want to see more of in the world, and it definitely brought me back to a time in my life where a could have really used a story like this.

Marisol is lost in anger and frustration when her mother dies. Marisol must deal with losing her mother after always fighting and arguing. She sleeps with her best friend's boyfriend and they fall out. It deals with many issues that young people may face. Marisol must learn to face her fears and anger and deal with the relationships she has remaining.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me early access to this title in exchange for a honest review!

This story just tugged on my heart strings and never let go. Marisol as a character is written so well in my opinion; she’s flawed in ways that if you really think about it can appear ugly and she’s aware of it to an extent and is just trying to do better. Her grief was soul crushing and you can truly feel it come across as the book goes on. Every character was thoughtfully written and I just want to give every one of them a hug. A story I’ll be thinking about for a long time for sure.

Two things: 1. It has been a while since I’ve read a YA book that I really enjoyed. And 2. It has also been a while since I’ve read a book that made me cry (probably since the last TJR book I read) but this one was so heartbreakingly great that I couldn’t stop reading. The main character, Marisol, is dealing with the loss of her mother, through all of the unhealthy mechanisms you’d expect of a teenager. Things just keep getting worse and worse for her, even when she starts to think they’re getting better. You can feel her pain through her anger and self destruction. But you also can’t help root for her to get better. I’m not always a fan of an open ending but I really liked the way this one handled it. Would DEFINITELY recommend.

I don't know how I wasn't expecting an emotional family drama, but here we are. I found the time skips really interesting, especially given their framing with grief. You can flash back at a moment's notice, just by seeing something that reminds you of your loved one. Marisol is coping with all of that, the implosion of her friend group, and the casual racism of daily high school life. It's a lot.

What I enjoyed most about this book was how Marisol grew. She went from floundering around and blaming herself for everything to acknowledging her role, but also being critical of the roles of those around her. The family and high school dynamics were so realistic, there were points where I was yelling at her dad too. I loved watching her discover the punk music scene and her own sense of autonomy amidst all of her crises. The voice was lyrical and the ending was perfection.

*Thank you to Feiwel & Friends and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review and LibroFM for a gifted ALC*

I felt like this book dragged a lot. The ending made up for it though. I am a little disappointed about this book though.

Rogers’ debut is a beautifully devastating novel that demands to be read.

“I’d Rather Burn Than Bloom” follows Marisol Martin, a Filipina-American teen who tragically loses her mother to a car accident. Haunted by the an argument they had in their final moments together, Marisol clings to her anger to escape her sadness. She is determined to burn until the start of a new friendship convinces her otherwise.

This book really made me feel a wide spectrum of emotions, though I must confess that for the most part I was in a perpetual state of bawling my eyes out, which just goes to show how powerful this book is. Part of what makes it so powerful is the way the novel’s timeline is organized. Rogers alternates between the “then” and the “now,” dedicating whole chapters to Marisol’s memories of her mother. It was devastating to read about their tumultuous relationship in raw detail, but at the same time, I felt further connected to Marisol in learning about her past.

An aspect of the novel I appreciated is the ways in which Rogers familiarizes her readers with Filipino culture. She does this through religious customs, but also primarily through food. Rogers describes the preparation of specific dishes and the community that is established during this process at length when Marisol’s mother was alive. As a result, the absence of Filipino food and the reliance on microwave meals after the passing of Marisol’s mother is jarring, so much so that Marisol questions whether she has lost the Filipino part of her identity entirely in losing her mother.

Marisol’s story in “I’d Rather Burn Than Bloom” contributes to the conversation surrounding racial imposter syndrome in today’s society. Rogers did a fantastic job in shaping my understanding of this phenomenon— specifically who it impacts and what can be done about it. I highly recommend this book and intend to implement it in my classroom curriculum.

After the death of her mother, Filipino-American Marisol spirals with grief and regret over their difficult relationship. Can a new friendship help Marisol cope with her loss?

As a whole, I found I'd Rather Burn Than Bloom to be rather unsatisfying. There were so many unresolved issues in Marisol's life: the lack of closure following the death of her mother, her school and driver's classes troubles, her maybe-relationship with Joel. I was hoping for clear endings to all of the problems presented to me, or maybe just steps toward a solution.

The transitions aren’t as smooth as I would have liked. Night to day, past to present, and even just moment to moment. I found myself flipping back often, trying to figure out when the switch happened.

But the Fil-Am rep has a special place in my heart. Marisol's relationship with her mother was so relatable. I saw myself in her, especially when she questioned her identity without her mother. Those moments were profound and beautiful and kept me reading.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC of the novel. 3.75/5 stars

I didn't really know what to think about this in the beginning - I really thought about DNFing it just because while there is a plot...it's more of an emotional growth plot for Marisol. It's also not resolved at the end, but there is growth in terms of Marisol's grief over her mother passing. There's a lot, a LOT of anger in the novel. Anger at her father. Anger at herself. Anger at never learning her Filipino side. Anger at the world. Anger at everything. A lot of it is unprocessed grief for both herself and her father, and it was painful to read at some points -- especially when her dad needed to process just as much. This anger also leads to Marisol making reckless, impulsive, dangerous decisions...leading to her dad cracking down...leading to more rebellion.

Eventually, Marisol finds a new friend after losing her old ones and tries to let this new friend in and to learn to live again.

Like I said, I didn't quite like it at the beginning but then I binged it because Marisol is very real and you could feel her grief and anger through the writing.

I think this is more of a me thing rather than the book. I mean, all the elements are there. The complexities of grief, the dynamic relationships between all the characters, but particularly with family, great character growth, this should have hit for me, but it just didn't. I just couldn't get into it, which sucks because I was really looking forward to this one.

Despite my lack of enjoyment, I think this book will still connect with many other readers to come.

Thank you netgalley colored book tours and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group, Feiwel & Friends for the free e-Arc in exchange for my honest review.

I hope sincerely hope that the finished copy includes tw as I swiftly sobbed starting this book.

My heart shattered for Marisol and the loss of her mother, broken friendships and having to navigate grief while feeling immense regret for how she spoke and interacted with her mom. This is something I immediately connected to as I watched my 2 small cousins work through their grief and come to terms with her untimely passing. They were 4 years old and 4 months old when their mom died.

I attended a very diverse and inclusive high school with many Filipina friends who also loved to talk about their culture, food and religion.

I feel this book accurately depicts the despair of losing a parent and how lost, disconnected and numb to everything around you often leading to poor/regretful actions. I found her girlfriends really distant in how they treated her and didn't genuinely show her the kindness and tenderness she needed.

A book and that will stay with me for a long time...

An amazing look at a Filipino American teen's life while dealing with the sudden loss of her mother. I loved the growth of the character through the novel, from not being able to speak to her family much (or anyone) to expressing her feelings and communicating with her dad about what she needs from him. Amazing selection for students dealing with anger from a loss, friendship fallouts, or tough family situations.

Absolutely amazing and one of my favorite books of 2023. I related so much to Marisol and her struggles throughout high school and with her family and with her friends. I also liked Marisol's relationship with her brother. This book exemplifies how love can be shown in different ways. Also, Marty the cat!!! I am definitely looking forward to what Shannon C.F. Rogers writes in the future. I recommend this book to anyone who needs a book where they can see that it is ok to struggle and that the grieving process looks different for everyone. Also, the focus of this book is more on family and the romance is not a central part. This is another aspect I liked as this book is really centered around Marisol. Marisol learns how to define herself.

Marisol’s story is raw, heartbreaking, and pure. This novel follows Marisol’s journey through grief, the struggles, the pitfalls, while slowly unraveling the past through dual timelines.

This story was a breath of fresh air in the saddest way. This is only that second book I’ve read with a Filipino American main character and I love the inclusion of the Filipino culture. I love that Marisol has an imperfect relationship with her mother, and the complex relationship with her father is well written. Her brother Bernie is so damn likable. This whole family is relatable in every way, and I can’t wait to add this book to my classroom library!

I loved the story, the world building and meeting the different characters. I felt completely immersed in the story and couldn't stop reading it.

This book is a perfect snapshot of real-life. Marisol is dealing with the aftermath of her mother's sudden death. She has all the normal feelings--guilt, anger, frustration--but she doesn't know how to deal with them. She makes some poor choices (including sleeping with her best friend's boyfriend and skipping school). I loved that this book was true to life. Marisol didn't have some huge revelation and suddenly change. Her change is small and gradual, just like healing and grief are. She makes new friends, messes things up, and then tries again. This book is perfect for high school students.

The realness of the book is what sold it for me. Marisol isn't perfect and doesn't suddenly become perfect. She's flawed and rough and human. Her dialogue is just snarky enough. The supporting characters are great, but this is really Marisol's story and she shines. So much so, that I don't even remember the other character's names. It works for this novel, though.

There is some language, so an older audience is recommended. I think readers will connect with Marisol and her story.

Thanks to Net Galley and the publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.