Thank you to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for the ALC of this novel in exchange for a review. I was not in the mood when I tried to listen to this at first and didn't get a chance to pick it back up before it was archived.

Cosby’s impressive debut reads similar to Razorblade Tears and All The Sinners Bleed, with a gritty storyline, complex characters, and sensational prose with the perfect amount of sarcasm. However, the graphic scenes (violence, sex, gore) feel more reminiscent of Razorblade Tears than ATSB. True to his Southern Lit roots, Cosby explores themes that have become his signature style: racism, religion, and unresolved family trauma. I highly recommend the audiobook; Lazarre-White and Cosby are a match made in heaven!

I gave this book 5 stars on Goodreads. It was my last read of 2022 and it was such a great way to close out the reading year. I have waited to post this review so that I could gather and compile all of my thoughts (because, believe me... I had so many thoughts about this one!).

I will start off with this---S.A. Cosby skyrocketed to the top of my 'new to me' favorite author list. I cannot wait to check out his other works. The last time I remember being THIS impressed by a fiction author's debut novel was Ashley Winstead's In My Dreams I Hold a Knife---and if you've been following along here on the blog you will know that I absolutely loved that book. I am embarrassed and almost ashamed that it took me this long to pick up an S.A. Cosby book but I can assure you that I will be making my way through his backlog ASAP!

When I say that this book was SO well written, I absolutely mean that. The story is told from the first-person point of view of main character, Nathan, and as I read, it felt like I was watching a Dateline or ID Channel special. I read a lot of mysteries/thrillers but very few have made me as engrossed as this book did. I was practically hanging on every word and was so desperate for answers that I was having to physically restrain myself from jumping ahead a few sentences!

Overall, this was a phenomenal read! I would recommend this book for readers 18+. This book is full of adult themes, dialogue, and language that may not be suitable for all readers. Reader's discretion is always advised!
If you are a lover of southern gothic fiction, or are just looking for a new favorite author, I think you should give this one a try!

**S.A. Cosby has another book called All the Sinners Bleed that will be released on June 6th! To see the synopsis for that book and to learn more about it click here! I will be anxiously awaiting my library loan on this upcoming release!

S. A. Cosby is quickly rising to the top of my favorite authors. Each novel is more compelling than the last, using the best narrators to give character to his... characters. This was a dark story in regards to undertaking, religion, and trauma. I was deeply entranced by this novel and can't wait to read the next!

Amazing narrator. Fast paced thriller. Former military and law enforcement officer Nathan is approached to investigate an untimely death of a local minister. Parish Wes believe the case is being dismissed and not fully investigated.

It was ok but not my favorite S.A. Cosby book
Thanks NetGalley, the author and publisher for the audiobook

S.A. Cosby has been a favorite of mine since his first major mainstream release, Blacktop Wasteland. I was super excited for the opportunity to read My Darkest Prayer, which was actually Cosby's debut novel that has recently been re-released. If I hadn't known any better, I would have never guessed this was a debut. My Darkest Prayer reads as stunningly as Cosby's other two novels. He is an absolute talent and finds his strengths in writing about gritty, seedy, but likable and relatable characters. My Darkest Prayer's protagonist, Nate, is an undertaker at the local black funeral home in Queen County, Virginia. An ex-cop, he's asked to look into the suspicious death of a prominent pastor by members of his congregation. The storyline is exceptional and entertaining on its own, but it's Cosby's ability to create such detail and layers into his characters and paint the picture of a rural, backwoods setting that really shines in this book.

S A Cosby is absolutely brilliant and I love that I had the opportunity to read his republished debut novel. Love the rawness and honesty of his characters, the southern church scandal plot was perfection, and I didn’t see the twists coming. I was NOT prepared for the amount of sex in this book, so make sure you’ve got the earbuds in for this one if there are little ears around. S A Cosby is easily an auto buy author for me and I look forward to seeing him at the Theakston Crime Writing Festival this year.

Adam Lazarre-White has such an easy-listening voice and made the book just that much better!

*received for free from netgalley for honest review* Ngl this is more of a 3.5 but i will round it up to a four. I'm not sure how much i actually liked the book but i did laugh a lot lmao

Thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan audio for the audio arc of this book! Although I didn’t enjoy it as much as Razorblade Tears, the story really kept me hooked and the narrator was very good.

"My Darkest Prayer" SA Cosby

First published January 1, 2019
Republished December 6, 2022

“I handle the bodies.”

Beautifully written, but detailed violence I decided to start with Cosby's first book, before I read "Blacktop Wasteland and Razorblade Tears...both are on my TBR list and have now jumped to the top.

Nathan Waymaker is a southern man who has pretty much seen it all and done it all. A former marine, a former sheriff's deputy and now works at his cousin's funeral home. Big, strong, and not afraid of anything. When a local minister is found dead, Nathan is asked by some parishioners to make sure his death does not get forgotten. The death did appear odd, so Nathan does a little side investigative work. He learns quickly that he is up against crime lords, low life criminals, crooked cops, major city corruption, and a not so honorable preacher. Nathan needs to reach down deep and count on his background of unique skills, his great wit and his buddy Skunk, to figure out what is going on. Set in a small Virginia town, and told through an intriguing lead character, readers learn of Nathan’s history as the biracial son of a peaceful, non-violent white man and a more pragmatic black woman. It just makes Nathan all that more of an interesting character- often conflicted in that he feels like he’s constantly failing his late father. And yet he knows he’s just not the kind of guy who thinks that turning the other cheek is the correct response to a cruel and unfair world.

While this book is full of violence, and many details of said violence, there are many glimpses of humor. I was fully invested in the plot and thought the narrator of the audiobook did a fantastic job.

This book is gritty, dark, violent and hard to put down. I loved Cosby's writing style, his vivid descriptions and characters.

Thank you to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley (@netgalley) who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Sorry it took so long for feedback. This one truly improves from the amazing audiobook.. Thank you to the publisher for the ALC.

Thank you to @netgalley and @macmillan.audio for the ALC for this re-publishing of SA Cosby’s debut novel, My Darkest Prayer.

After reading Razorblade Tears last year, I was held captive by Cosby’s writing. It’s brutal, gripping, graphic and sometimes hard to read. But, powerful.

My Darkest Prayer falls along those same lines. Nathan Waymaker is a former marine currently working at his cousin’s funeral home. When a local minister is found dead, his parishioners ask Nathan to investigate on the side.

This book includes sex (including a porn star), drugs, police officers as crooked as they come, and even some hardcore thugs. Turns out this minister wasn’t quite as holy as he wanted to seem…

Adam Lazarre-White narrates this audiobook and I think this book was written for his voice. I can’t imagine anyone else reading this book to me. His rich, deep vocals made Nathan come to life. I’ll listen to him read anything…he also narrates Blacktop Wasteland, which is next on my S.A. Cosby backlist. I remember my brother-in-law reading it a while back and he said it was amazing.

The language is rough, but so realistic and…just good. I don’t know how else to describe Cosby’s writing style. I gave Razorblade Tears a full 5 ⭐️s and I’m giving his debut 4 ⭐️s too. Oh yeah, and I can’t wait for his newest to come out in June!

I enjoyed this one. The characters were well fleshed out and the pacing kept me turning the page. While this isn't my favorite book by S A Cosby it is well worth the read. This authors writing style makes me feel like I'm leaning into a conversation to ensure that I don't miss a word, it's that good. Well worth the read!

S.A. Cosby is quickly becoming a favorite author of mine. I love everything he writes, he can do no wrong. I absolutely loved the narration, it was easy to tell who was who. The plot was intriguing, I absolutely adored Nathan as a main character and narrator. He seemed like a huge teddy bear… maybe a murderous one. Cannot wait for more books!

Last year one of my favorite audiobooks was Razorblade Tears, so when I saw this author's debut novel was being reissued and offered as an audiobook by Netgalley and MacMillan Audio for review, I jumped at the chance to listen to it. I was not disappointed. Although not *quite* as fantastic as Razorblade Tears, My Darkest Prayer was a strong, well-developed novel in its own right with richly drawn, sympathetic characters and an excellent mystery holding the book together.

The book has an audio introduction from the author in which he sounds almost apologetic for the book, but he has nothing to apologize for. The book starts strong and picks up in intensity, telling the story of a youngish man, Nathan, who is now working for family in their funeral home, living in a bedroom in the back of the funeral parlor, struggling to get his life together. A local reverend dies and some of the church board members ask Nathan, a former Marine and former local deputy sheriff, to look into how the reverend died, as they fear the sheriff's office is going to brush the death under the rug. The more Nathan pokes around, the more he uncovers.

Cosby writes terrific, humorous dialogue, excellent suspenseful scenes, a well-plotted mystery, and some of the best portrayals of male friendship that I've ever read. He demonstrates the value of having a network of Black community support surrounding you. An old classmate who has become a porn star turns out to be the daughter of the reverend, and Cosby handles her character with humor and sensitivity, as well. The narration is excellent, and despite the novel containing more violence than I might care for, I highly recommend this book.

What a trip this was! Nathan Waymaker is an ex-marine and an ex-deputy who knows how to handle problems. He has a reputation for being a man who can find answers and get things done, mainly because he is not afraid to kick some butt.
This is a fast-paced novel that is excellently read by Adam Lazarre-White. I've since discovered that this is a reprint of S.A. Cosby's first novel. Well if this is how well he started I am excited to see what else he has done.
Thanks to @netgally for the opportunity to listen to this audiobook in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion.

Nathan Waymaker is a man who knows how to handle the bodies. Working for his cousin at a funeral home, Nathan comes in contact with a lot of bodies. He has some practice; Nathan is not only a former sheriff’s deputy, he is also a former marine. The unique skills that Nathan has picked up along the way has also given him a reputation as someone who can take care of things, when others don’t seem to be able to. His services are requested when a much-loved minister is found dead of an apparent suicide, but those that knew him best don’t believe that. What seems like a simple request soon leads Nathan down a path filled with crooked cops, drug dealers, gangsters, and a rich megachurch preacher.

Wow! This story was so twisted and so good! I can’t get over the descriptions and figurative language used by Cosby. At times I got as much enjoyment from the pictures painted for me as I did from the actual story, which itself was unbelievable. I really liked the characters, especially Nathan. He was intriguing and interesting; he almost reminded me of a modern-day Robin Hood. I was kept at the edge of my seat right from the beginning with the intense action and constant revelations.

The audiobook was out of this world! Lazarre-White’s pace, inflection, voices and overall presentation seemed spot on for the story, especially in his presentation of Nathan. This was the first audiobook I have listened to where I didn’t feel like my experience was lessened by not having a copy of the book in front of me. I much prefer having the text when listening to an audiobook, but Lazarre-White’s narration was so strong, more than making up for the lack of text. I am so glad I listened to this audiobook.

⚰️ 🆂🅸🆇 🆃🅷🆁🅸🅻🅻🅸🅽🅶 🆃🅷🅾🆄🅶🅷🆃🆂 ⚰️
|| 𝗠𝘆 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿 by S.A. Cosby ||

𝗜𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲?
- If you don’t like stellar writing, bad-ass characters, and great plots, then just say that. Of course, I’m reading anything S.A. Cosby writes. #autobuy

𝗪𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁?
- Victor Culler, a white cop that is a bully in a badge, and continues to antagonize, demean, and insult Nathan after he resigns from the Sheriff’s department. Culler is corrupt, racist, and a coward.

𝗪𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁?
- The obvious answer is Nathan, but I’m going to choose Skunk. Although he is a natural born killer and mastermind, he is also a great friend. He is somebody you want in your corner. Skunk sounds fun and chill.

𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘀/𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀:
- Police Corruption
- Bullying
- Vengeance
- Hypocrisy in church

𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸:
- “But I believe there is good and evil. Positive and negative energy, ya know? I believe you do right by people, and it comes back to ya. Same thing if you do wrong.”

- "Some people need to go to hell, and we need to get them there."

- “Talk shit. Spit blood.”

𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻, 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆?
- Tell me if it’s me, but the sheer violence by Nathan Waymaker finds a warm place in my heart. It is so sexy and thrilling. I’m rooting for him to kill everybody in the room because revenge is best served cold and bloody. I also know Skunk is doing something gross, too. Just get it done.

(*Bonus Question*)
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸?
- Cosby knows that we are not perfect by any means. The hypocrisy in this world is thick as fog so people are should be free from external judgement. We pray God hears our darkest prayers or we are lost to find our own way.

Also, the audiobook was awesome, the narrator does a great job with the voices for each of the characters and should always do Cosby's novels. He has the perfect cadence, tone, and attitude to bring the characters to life. I just love the energy he brings to each scene as well. The audio version would not be the same without this specific narrator.

Audio Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Book Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thanks to Macmillan Audio for the copy of this book.

I looooved Razorblade Tears and hoped to love this too, but unfortunately this one wasn’t for me. The character development was lacking and there was a lot more sex in this book. It was evident this was written before Razorblade because he’s improved a ton as a writer!