Cover Image: Lose You to Find Me

Lose You to Find Me

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Member Reviews

Lose You To Find Me was a book I really enjoyed and that surprised me in many ways. This was the first book I read by Erik J. Brown and I'm sure to read his other books when time allows. His characters were complex and human with qualities and flaws which made me keep wanting to read to see how the story would develop. The relationships between them also felt real and fleshed out. When the first plot twist came I really did not expect it due to the book's cover so I had some conflicted feelings throught the middle of the book but the end made up for all of it. I was glad to see the one characrer I was rooting for the whole time, get his happy ending! If you are squeamish though reading through the end of this book might be a bit hard on you but, for me, that whole unexpected scene really made this book stand out.

Overall I did enjoy this story and would recommend it to other people! It has a good balance of everything and honestly, all the food in it sounded delicious (and as a poruguese the reference to portuguese cuisine trown in made me happy)!

PS: I was also provided this ARC in order to draw a Dust Cover for a Special Edition of this book produced and distrubuted by Dazzling Bookish Shop.

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This was one of my most anticipated books of the year and it just fell flat for me. I think i would have liked it and its message in high schol but I just think it came to me at a time where i dont really relate to the characters. Ive already lived through it and the main character was kind of annoying with how he viewed the future, though i suppose that part of the plot lol. I didnt like the cheating aspect, even if the guy the other guy was with was a nasty dude. Dont go into this expecting a rom-com or anything because the romance in this isn't all that apparent or remarkable.

Having said that i really liked the setting. I used to be a server in an assisted living facility and it was cool to see that specific of a job in a book. The dynamics of the workers and setting itself were pretty accurate to my experience and i loved that about this book as it was my main draw to it.

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So this one is fun and adorable, but also quite moving at times. A great blend for me, really. At the start, it was giving me strong vibes of Milo and Marcos at the End of the World , to the point where I was like "wait I already read this one?" but pretty quickly diverges. This is a solidly contemporary book, which admittedly isn't my usual jam, but I adored the author's debut, All That's Left in the World, so I had to give it a go. And it was really good!

It's definitely a coming of age story of Tommy, who is trying to figure out his future plans, when his first big crush Gabe saunters back into his life. Only, Gabe doesn't seem to even remember Tommy, much less reciprocate his feelings. The cast of characters in this story is far and away the best part. I adored Tommy's "favorites" at the retirement community, and he has some great friends and an awesome mother. And it was full of humor, but also, really heartfelt, more serious moments.

Without giving away too much of the story, I loved the growth that Tommy underwent, and the lessons that were woven throughout the story. This isn't really a true spoiler but.... Some people didn't love how the story ended, but I thought it was perfectly fitting, and the message could not have been better, especially for young people trying to navigate relationships. Anyway, I really applaud the way the author handled a lot of the relationship aspects of the book, I'll leave it at that.

Bottom Line: Very cute and also very heartfelt, this was a strong second offering from Erik J. Brown.

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A solid 3 stars. I think I have a like/dislike relationship with this book. I didn't like it near as much as I liked All That's Left in the World that's for sure, but Lose You to Find Me isn't bad, it was just okay for me.

This follows Tommy Dees, a 17-year-old boy who currently works at a Retirement home but dreams of being a chef and going to a top culinary school. If he can get his supervisor to write a recommendation letter then he's well on his way to achieving that dream but in walks in Gabe, a boy he had a summer friendship with when they were kids and the first boy he ever had a crush on.

Things I liked:
-I loved Sunset Estates, it was such a unique workplace for a YA and I thought the dynamics between Tommy's coworkers and the residents, especially Willa and Al, were great.
-I felt like Tommy was a pretty relatable character, did I like him all the time? No, and he was pretty selfish at quite a few bits in the story, but he was interesting and well-developed.
- I actually really liked the ending and how things turned out, I found it surprisingly kind of healthy and refreshing since it didn't go the way you expect. I do wish that the setup might have been stronger <spoiler>Brad was very much the romcom character that's always there but you don't totally notice until they take off their glasses or in this case, come out publicly. I wish Brad would have been a bit of a stronger character/more prevalent in the story</spoiler> but it was still nice.

Things I didn't quite like:
- I wish Tommy hadn't been so obsessed over Gabe, I wanted to shake him at points, especially when Tommy's selfishness came in. But also Gabe wasn't that interesting to me, he was a bit like Andrew from All That's Left but bland and without the heart.
- I felt like Vic was a bit of archetype, like you could pretty much predict all of his actions just on how the first interaction with him went, I kind of wish he had been different or had more depth than what he did.
- There's also just something about the story that felt like it was lacking, but I can't quite put my finger on. It might just be that I'm not the biggest fan of books that take place over a year, especially when it's senior year, because I feel like time jumps a bit too much and you only get this focus point snapshots that just move the story forward instead of developing the world.

Like I said, this one was a bit of like/dislike for me, but I do look forward to whatever Erik J. Brown does next.

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I cannot believe how much I enjoyed this! Lose you to Find Me is a contemporary coming of age story that I was not expecting to connect with so much. I loved all the discussions that are brought up with this book; self discovery, worry about the future, relationships both romantic and platonic.

The characters felt so real in this and I loved reading about them all. This was heartfelt, fun and quirky but talked about so many good things. I'm so excited that I loved this and hope more people pick it up.

Excited to see where this author goes in the future!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the e-arc.

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i didn’t end up finishing this book as it was not for me, originally the synopsis seemed interesting but the writing from the very beginning felt awfully stiff and uninteresting to me. however creatively i liked the idea of the plot, 3.5/5

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This powerful story of accepting reality versus forcing dreams to be real is a heartfelt and realistic portrayal of teenage indecision in the face of growing up.
Tommy is an adorable character. His passion for cooking and the way he cares for others makes him instantly likable. That he freaks out over his crush almost as a way to distract himself from the pressure he's putting on himself to get into the elite culinary school his dad attended is incredibly relatable. He has a full life with a wonderful best friend, tons of people that care for him, and a part-time job that he excels at. But he's also insecure and still wrapped up in the first guy he ever had a crush on but that disappeared before he realized his feelings, or at least he had disappeared until Gabe suddenly appears back in his life and there's no way to avoid him.
There is so much great character exploration and deep topics touched. I love how deftly Brown managed to weave sensitive and important topics into the plot without ever getting preachy or making light of how important a decision such as picking the right school or even deciding to go to college can be. There's also the importance of friendship and having people to have your back, I love how well that message gets through when Gabe finds himself in an awful situation.
And I don't want to give away the ending, but brava to Brown for how things get resolved. It's the perfect ending that shows the growth and maturity of the characters, not to mention that it resulted in some of the cutest scenes.

Very happy thanks to NetGalley and Balzer + Bray for the wonderfully inspiring read!

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This was so disappointing. I absolutely loved Brown's debut last year and was excited to see what he'd do in his sophomore novel. It was going good at first, with the writing being as great as I remembered and the interactions between Tommy and Gabe were really cute. But then Gabe revealed he had a boyfriend after they kissed for the first time. My enjoyment rapidly declined after that, especially when Gabe continued his affair with Tommy, who was actively seeking to be the homewrecker; he was even more determined to be so after he got advice from older queer people not to do so. From the whole thing with Gabe to not supporting his best friend, Tommy was so shitty. Yeah, he realized he fucked up by the climax, apologized, and had some growth, but I was just so over it by that point. At least he got with Brad instead of Gabe at the end, a bold move by Brown. I only wish there was more development between Tommy and Bad to make their ending up together feel more natural. I also hate that Brown had to make Vic such a shitty person in order to justify Gabe's cheating. I absolutely despise the cheating plotlines and I'm tired of it popping up in my queer YA novels (Looking at you Always the Almost).

Overall, very sad about this one. I just hope I'll enjoy Brown's next work, if there is one.

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This is a story about what it means to follow your dreams.  Tommy Dees's dream is to go to culinary school.  One culinary school in fact -- La Mère, one of the top culinary schools in the world, where his father went before needing to drop out.  To help get experience to support his application, he is working as a server at a local retirement community and hopes to one day work in the kitchen there.  He also needs a letter of recommendation from his often unreasonable manager, Natalie, who just so happens to have worked for a famous chef earlier in her career who is on the admissions committee for La Mère.  Natalie said she'll write Tommy a letter if he meets three conditions that prove he is worthy.  The first condition is training a newly hired server, Gabe.

When Tommy sees Gabe, he realizes that he already knows him.  Tommy and Gabe attended the same summer camp when they were ten, and Tommy developed a very close relationship (and a crush) on Gabe.  After that summer, though, Tommy never saw or heard from Gabe again.  To make matters even more awkward, Gabe does not recognize Tommy.  So Tommy does his best to undertake the training process without revealing their past, but he can't help but feel a strong connection to Gabe.  Tommy is delighted when they seem to grow closer, even as true connection seems elusive.  As Tommy juggles his focus on getting into La Mère with his feelings for Gabe, he feels like all his dreams may be slipping through his fingers just as they finally seem to be in reach.

I really enjoyed this book.  I was a huge fan of the author's previous book, so I was quite excited to read his latest -- and it exceeded my expectations.  Like in his previous book, the author creates a highly creative premise to explore the joys and complexities of coming of age as a queer person.  The book combines both wish fulfillment that comes from imagining re-encountering your childhood crush with the realities of the baggage and intricacies that come from the separate lives they lived leading up to a potential chance at love.  The novel also effectively captures the dynamic when one's dreams are wrapped up in the dreams of one's parents -- the ways that can be both motivating and restricting.  Finally, the relationship between Tommy and several of the residents of the retirement home was delightful and heartwarming, as we saw the ways that Tommy, without realizing it, built a found family determined to support him no matter what.

Very highly recommended!

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A fantastic contemporary YA romcom! Teens in a workplace romance is a story I haven’t read before, and Erik J. Brown blew me away with this fantastic story. It felt fresh and modern with its references without feeling like it was dating itself, and the inclusion of elder queers and bits of gay history was a smart and entertaining choice. I’m thrilled that I got to read this story full of personal growth, heartbreak, and the normalization that it’s okay not to know what your plans for the future might hold.

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Lose You to Find Me is definitely everything that it says on the tin, but it's also so much more than that and that's a great thing. This story explores everything from grief and crushes to figuring out your future and what it means to have a healthy relationship. Starring a lovable cast of characters and a variety of relationship dynamics, this is a book that is just as much a classic teen rom-com as it is a moving coming-of-age story. The characters didn't seem to have much personality at first, but they definitely grew on me as the book went on and I ended up enjoying this one a lot. But overall, this was a very enjoyable read for me, and I'd definitely recommend it, particularly if you enjoy YA with a full cast of fun characters, rather than something purely romance centered. I had a great time reading it!

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Tommy Dees has had one dream for as long as he can remember -- to attend one of the top culinary schools in the world. To get experience that will help with his application, he's been working as a server at a local retirement community. He has realized his manager has a connection and that she can provide a recommendation letter that may put his application over the top. The only problem is that she does not seem to really like Tommy (or anyone they work with). The manager agrees to consider writing Tommy a recommendation letter if he completes three tasks, including training the new server. When Tommy meets Gabe, the new server, Tommy realizes that he is the same person who he had a crush one year at summer camp many years ago and never saw again. But Gabe does not seem to have any idea who Tommy is -- making their time together awkward, at least from Tommy's perspective.

As Tommy tries to balance training Gabe, meeting the manager's other conditions, working on his application, being a good friend and son, and all his other responsibilities, he is determined to keep it all together and reach the future has always dreamed of, even as the obstacles seem to keep piling up.

This was a frequently touching and thoughtful exploration of this stage of life, including the ways that so many pressures are self-inflicted. The author creates vivid characters and a compelling narrative about friendship, first love, and following your heart.

Highly recommended!

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LOSE YOU TO FIND ME by Erik J. Brown is such a lovely rom-com! It's definitely one of the funnier rom-coms I've read in the YA space. Tommy and his friends and the residents of the "old folks home" where he works have some great banter. Meanwhile, Tommy's pining over Gabe is so accurate and beautifully described with some well-timed plot events and reveals that heighten the tension and make for compulsive reading. All the senior year experiences and stress over college are well done too. I do have mixed feelings over how some of the bad behavior by the senior citizen characters gets shrugged off, I realize it's a pretty accurate depiction. On the flip side, the ending is just perfect. Overall I loved this book and look forward to more from this author!

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I love Erik’s first book All That’s Left in the World, so I was excited to read Lose You to Find Me. I wasn’t disappointed. This story is so simple and lovely, but addresses serious anxieties and hurdles that young adults face. It teaches us all about the heartache of making assumptions and the stress of the expectations we put on ourselves throughout life. The protagonist is extremely likable and relatable. All of the characters are. This journey of overcoming what we feel is expected of us and the discovery of who we truly are is one you are bound to enjoy. Please read this book.

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With every contemporary I read, I love them more and more. I went into this already thinking I’d love it because it has a food theme and I’m happy to say I was right. Lose You to Find Me was an absolute joy from start to finish.

The childhood best friends that get split up by something and then find each other again years later theme/trope is always fun to read. It was done so well here and it’s so funny that they both act as if they didn’t remember each other because they were embarrassed that the other person didn’t remember. Despite this obviously not being true. Sorry that is a slight spoiler, but it was too funny to not mention.

Tommy was an extremely likeable main character; he definitely had his flaws, but he does become a better person because of them. He was very charming and funny and I really enjoyed how much he loved cooking because of the connection it has to his dad. I’m not going to give away a main plot point, but this connection with his dad is very important for his character growth and I really liked how it played out.

I had a real love-hate relationship with Gabe. The banter between him and Tommy was really fun to begin with and they had really great chemistry but when it was revealed that he was keeping some pretty big things secret from him, I stopped liking him as much and I definitely stopped rooting for them to get together. Tommy could do much better. I did enjoy them watching films and tv shows over the phone though, but that didn’t make up for how crappy Gabe actually was.

The LGBTQIA+ rep in this book was very refreshing and I love how no one questioned any of the characters romantic preferences - as they shouldn’t.

It going to sound really sad to say, but I really enjoyed the parts where Tommy was working. I’ve never worked in the service industry and it was kind of fun to read, I know it’s a horribly stressful job, but Sunset Estates seemed pretty chill.

The interactions with Al and Willa were some of my favourites in the entire book. They were hands down two of the best characters; they provided a lot of comic relief and were so loving with Tommy. They did everything they could to help him achieve his dream and the fact that Al gives him $200 for every holiday is incredibly generous. Plus I love the idea of a gay old man causing chaos in a retirement home. More power to him.

I really like how the story ended and it was actually what I had predicted from around halfway through. The choices made were very mature and showed a lot of character growth from everyone involved.

Lose You to Find Me was a very enjoyable read and is definitely one I am going to recommend to others. If you like YA romances and don’t mind teenagers who make silly decisions, then this is the perfect read for you.

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I really enjoyed this book,. I was nervous at the beginning because I'm not a big fan of the whole 'leaving a current significant other for another person' trope. Just not my cup of tea and you find out very early on that Gabe, AKA first crush of our MC Tommy, already has a boyfriend. They decide to remain friends though, which is a difficult spot to be in considering Tommy still has totally not-friend feelings towards Gabe. The two have a lot of similarities which help them to bond, but also a lot of differences that continue to keep them apart. Plus Gabe hasn't always had the easiest time with being queer which makes it hard for him to trust people.

Lose You to Find Me is a queer, YA, coming-of-age story focusing on two boys getting ready to graduate high school as they navigate family life, expectations, being queer, love, and the all encompassing question every teenager must face: what comes next? I appreciated Brown's take on young love and the teenage experience. I also loved the ending, it was everything I needed and wrapped the story up beautifully with a bitter-sweet parting sentiment: Your first love isn't always the right love.

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erik j. brown is my favorite author, without a doubt. their debut novel had me hooked and this one has proved to be just as good, if not better. brown has a way of making everything feel natural and real. there were no moments where i, as a nineteen year old, cringed because i felt as though i would say and do all these things also. the story was touching and romantic, everything that i wanted to read. not to mention, i easily devoured it.

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Lose you to find me was a really solid novel.

Whilst I admit, I did expect this to be a romance, I'm almost happier that it wasn't.

This book had a big cast of characters, from the residents to the workers, and all of them no matter how small of a part they played to the story were so dimensional.

The friendships and fostered relationships were a mix between painful and realistic and whilst this book was ridiculously dramatic at times - I ended up thoroughly enjoying regardless.

There were a few pacing issues in the beginning but this was thankfully solved relatively quickly.

I didn't enjoy this AS much as Erik J. Brown's first book but there is so much hope for the future of his work.

This was good! I had fun! What more do you need?

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This was really cute and fun! The story took some turns I wasn't expecting, which is always a plus for me. It did take me awhile to get into the book, it wasn't until around the 25% mark that I really felt invested. The characters didn't seem to have much personality at first, but they definitely grew on me as the book went on and I ended up enjoying this one a lot. I especially loved the retirement community setting and all the side characters there. It added so much humor and heart to the story. This also had some real cute banter and was all around just really sweet. It also tackled some serious topics well while remaining a pretty lighthearted read.

I will say that this was definitely more of a "finding yourself" book than a romance. I think the title implies that, but the cover and blurb made me think it was going to be more of a romance than it was. I did like the way the story played out, especially the idea that things don't always work out the way you planned, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. And I thought the message at the end of the book that life is full of times that are so hard as to seem impossible to get through, but that once you do get through them there are better times ahead was so important. And I liked how flawed and often misguided and self-involved the characters were. They are teenagers. They make plenty of mistakes. All that felt very real.

I was confused in some parts, because the way some of the backstory of various characters was written. It was almost like the author referred to these past things about characters as though referencing something the reader already knew, when actually it was the first time they'd been mentioned. I also wished we'd gotten to know one of the romance MCs a little better, and that there had been more on page time with them together.

But overall, this was a very enjoyable read for me, and I'd definitely recommend it, particularly if you enjoy YA with a full cast of fun characters, rather than something purely romance centered, .I had a great time reading it and miss the characters already!

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Super cute YA second chance romance’ish that’s equal coming-of-age (Rom-Dramedy). An ode to young restaurant workers. It’s adorable!! 🥹
“𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒆?”

I would recommend going into this book blind, or only reading the blurb - as I feel I got more from not knowing how Tommy’s journey would work out.

Erik’s a great YA storyteller, writing humorous and relatable characters just trying to figure themselves out during their senior year with college on the horizon. All the characters and their friendship were great. The growth and development - exceptional!

Especially loved Al and Willa, who now I want to be my queer grandparents! 😂 🥰

𝙇𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙈𝙚 by Erik J. Brown (2023)
Out on May 16th - ★★★★★

This is the second book from Erik J. Brown (𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙇𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙).

Thanks to HarperCollins Children’s and NetGalley for a chance to early review this story in exchange for an honest review.

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