This book is a really short and cozy book that deals with self identity and friendship. There isn't a lot of 'doing' in this book, but it's a lot of dialogue and thought that moves the story forward. The main character, Elsie, is a realistic portrayal of an 18 year old girl still figuring out herself and her place in the world and her family. It's a great book for young queer or questioning readers who may be going through the same thing and have the same questions. A lot of the book features educating moments in queer culture those readers might need or wonder about as well. It's a very cute happily ever after, and a lovely although quick read.

I need to start off by saying that this turned out to be a reread for me. Yeah I was about 45% of the way into the book before I realized that I had in fact already read this last year. I hadn’t even realized that this was being rereleased and blame the concussion I had in January for this momentary lapse in my memory.

Good now that that’s out of the way I have to say that I really enjoyed this book. I especially just loved the way that fanfic and cosplay was just weaved into the story. It just made my nerdy little heart so happy. The main character Elsie met her best friend Ada because of fanfic and their moments just gushing over their favorite comic reminded me of the height of my Tumblr days (hey Tumblr was huge in 2010).

This book is also just delightfully queer. Elsie, our mc, is bi and there are other characters who are lesbians, gay characters, a non-binary side character, and some characters who are still figuring out their sexuality (sapphic and asexual respectively). We also get to explore some of the queer culture from Hong Kong thanks to Elsie’s childhood best friend Joan, which was something I really enjoyed.

My only complaint was something that was included in Elsie’s storyline. In the book she spends a lot of time tracking down Ada’s grandma’s long lost friend Theresa. This includes tracking down basically everybody that Theresa has ever known in England and trying to find her so that Theresa can reconnect with Rebecca (Ada’s grandma). This, while sort of sweet, made me a little uncomfortable at times. It ultimately works out in the end but I just was not a huge fan of this part of the story.

Ultimately this is a story of love, finding yourself, and being true to your heart no matter the risk. It’s also a story of second chances (for multiple characters).

TW// homophobia, mentions of grief, mentions of death (grandfathers), brief mentions of racism, brief mentions of anxiety, mentions of divorce

If You Still Recognize Me is an adorable and heartfelt young adult sapphic romance. It follows Elsie who has a crush on her internet best friend and is planning on making a big gesture to show her friend that she likes her. However, as she goes into town one day, she bumps into her old best friend who she lost contact with several years before. It’s a summer of change and love for Elsie as she spends one last summer in her hometown before she heads to university. This story isn’t without its flaws, but I still loved it and I was caught off guard by the complex issues that the story tackles.

I thought this story was going to be a light, cheesy romance and I was pleasantly surprised by how this book was so much more than that. This story tackles topics like grief, complicated relationships with family members, toxic relationships, and discovering your place in the world. It doesn’t shy away from the messiness of some of these issues and I really appreciated that.

The cast of this book is incredibly diverse and because of that, it gave insight into queer communities across the globe. The two main characters are both from Hong Kong and they’re both part of the LGBTQ+ community, but because they spent their teen years in different parts of the world, they each had different experiences with being queer. Elsie provided what it’s like to be Asian and queer in the U.K. and Joan gave insight into what it’s like to be queer in Hong Kong. It was really fascinating to read about and it’s not a topic that I see many young adult books tackle. I also really liked Felix’s storyline. He explores his asexuality in this book and the way it was written was beautiful. Reading his experience with discovering his identity in this book truly means a lot to me as someone who’s ace and needed this kind of rep when I was a teen. I’d honestly love a whole spin-off novel focusing on Felix some day.

I found Cynthia So’s writing style to work really well for me. It was fast paced and really engaging. The writing style is part of what carried the book for me. It wasn’t too flowery most of the time, but Cynthia really knew when to add in lots of beautiful similes and metaphors to make certain scenes more powerful.

As I said earlier, this book did have some flaws though. The story felt a bit young. The characters are all over the age of 18, but there were numerous times where it felt like they were younger. This wasn’t too much of an issue for me personally, but I can see why some people wouldn’t like this element of the story.

I also got really frustrated with how Ritika was treated in the first half of this book. Elsie made a lot of decisions with her friendship with Ritika that I personally disagreed with and if I were Ritika, I honestly would’ve ended my friendship with Elsie or at the very least been furious with her because of some of the things that Elsie did.

I almost gave this book four stars because of those two issues, but then I read the ending and I felt it would be wrong of me to give this book anything less than five stars. The ending was super cute and it left on a hopeful note. Not every issue was resolved by the end of the book, but having an open ending for those issues worked really well.

Overall I adored this book. I highly recommend everyone gives it this one a try, especially if you enjoy queer romances.

Thanks to Harper Collins and Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was the first story I’ve read by this author and this sweet YA sapphic romance of best friends finding each other again was amazing.

Elsie lives in England and her family is originally from Hong Kong. Her tale of her not feeling like she fits in anywhere as she was a “tomboy,” Asian and the other was at times heartbreaking and beautiful. Her older family member’s very traditional values were sometimes at odds with what represent modern family values which recognize and accept each other for who they are.

As Elsie graduates from high school and readies to go off to university, she goes on many adventures and I couldn’t put the book down.

Elsie’s love for her childhood best friend, Joan, is best described by the author, “But Joan is Joan. She’s living exactly the way she wants to, dressing in a way that proclaims her identity to the world, distancing herself from her family because they can’t love her the way she deserves to be loved.”

If you’re a fan of Queer YA, I highly recommend, “If You Still Recognize Me.”

This definitely gave Heartstopper vibes like they said. Such a wholesome story with beautiful characters, and a lovely romance. Cynthia So did a wonderful job with this, I hope to read more books by this author in the future.

A Young Adult LGBTQ+

Elsie struggles finding her true self. With the help of friends, she has many adventures.

Lost and Found Love

Thank you to HarperCollins Children's Books, HarperTeen, and NetGalley for allowing me to read a copy of this book!

This was recommended to me by an (online) friend Finchie. Upon my completion of this book, I immediately sent her the following messages: "Finchie what the fuck" "I teared up so many times reading it" "Finchie I was BASICALLY CRYING ON THE SUBWAY", with a last response of "FINCHIE I WAS CRYING"

Anyway. Like Elsie, I found my sexuality through the internet, through fandom. Like Ada, it was easier, better to write and then it was. . . me? I made some of my closest and best friends through fandom, and I hope to see them in real life one day-- that desperate hope we have, when we realize how far away we live from those we love. Unlike Elsie and Ada, however, I've never been attracted to any of my friends, online or in-person.

But that doesn't change how I felt every lurch of Elsie's heart, every lunge of hope she had: that Ada liked her back. That by reconnecting Ada's grandmother to a former friend, Ada would see her and visit, and maybe even like her back. Her best friend Ritika is warily supportive: in it for love and the idea of love, even if wary of how it seems. In it too is Joan: former best friend, new and hot, and giving Elsie all sorts of questions with how well she fits in, the way she looks at her. . .

And the way Elsie's grandmother gets along with her. Joan is, save for her fashion aesthetic, perfect in every way; she can speak Cantonese fluently, remembers the names of Elsie's grandmother's friends, and gets along well with her. Po Po too, is a vastly important character-- Elsie hasn't seen her grandmother in so long, and there's the all-too-common realization of how little she knows her, and what she can and cannot say. She loves her and does not know her, something she feels about her grandfather, who died before the story and Elsie struggles with her mourning the idea and connection but not knowing her gung gung enough to feel like she can mourn him as she wants to.

This was an absolutely beautiful story about family, culture, fandom, love, realizations, and friendship. If You Still Recognize Me isn't just about Joan and Elsie seeing and knowing each other; but would Elsie still recognize her family? herself, in how she's changed?

All the stars and love. I look forward to reading the next books by Cynthia So!

What an incredible debut! I love YA books that focus on friendship and family as well as crushes and relationships because they feel more authentic. Friendship is at the heart of IF YOU STILL RECOGNIZE ME, and I love the idea of a second chance reunion with a long lost friend. It’s a cozy, warm read but it also has a lot to say about identity (race, culture, and sexual orientation), coming out, and intersectionality within in the queer community.

If you’re looking for sapphic YA that’s sweet, low-angst, and features an engaging cast of characters, I highly recommend this book.

LGBTQ details: bi MC rep, butch lesbian rep, side character ace rep, and queer/questioning rep.

Actual Rating: 4.5 stars
This was such a feel good book for me. It involved so many great aspects, friendships (new and old), familial relationships, finding one’s true self, and so many more. I read this so fast because I felt so seen throughout and kept feeling inclined to read it. If I wasn’t reading it, I was thinking about it and what I thought was going to happen next. If I had the opportunity to sit down and read the entire thing I would have, but having it strewn out over a few days because of my busy life made the experience so much better.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperTeen for an eARC of this book.

On the summer before going to uni, Elsie thought of the best way to confess to her online friend, Ada. And that is to find the penpal of Ada's grandmother from decades ago. Plans begin to change when Elsie's childhood best friend, Joan, came back as if she didn't leave Elsie to live in Hong Kong.

The beginning was so slow for me. It took me awhile to actually get into the groove of reading the book. I am aware that the characters, situations, and the comic book that Elsie is such a fan of is very important, it just took awhile for me to actually get into it.

Once I actually got into the story, I actually really liked reading this. The way Elsie's identity, culture, and family came into play, everything was just so interesting to me. I thought the author put so many great points about the culture Elsie grew up on and how it's so important on how it shapes up herself.

I also learned so much from this book. And I love that I took something away from reading this. I learned something about the country that Elsie's grandmother lives and how they look at the LGBT community.

The flow of the story is just amazing to me. And I love that even though Elsie was travelling from time to time, it was really more about the people she met than the places she's been.

Though it took me awhile to get in to this book, I actually really enjoyed reading it.

At first, "If You Still Recognize Me" felt like a book I had read before, but eventually I realized what felt familiar to me was my own life. The giddy Tumblr conversations, the hopeless crush on a long-distance friend seen only over Skype, the quiet rotting heartache of remembering a childhood friend who never wrote back... I hadn't already read those stories somewhere else, I experienced them myself.

The book itself is a slow burn, but I prefer another reviewer's description of it as having "quiet depth." The gradual buildup is necessary to fully understand the complex weave of relationships and expectations surrounding the main character, Elsie. She is a bisexual Chinese-British eighteen-year-old who has just graduated from high school (well, the UK equivalent) and is still coming to terms with a recent breakup. She used to be inseparable from her childhood best friend, Joan, but when Joan moved to Hong Kong, Elsie's letters went unanswered. Her only local friend is Ritika, her classmate, but she also has a close friendship with and secret crush on Ada, a Black fanfiction author living across the world in NYC.

There's so much more backstory and so many more characters, including another set of long-separated sapphic letter-writers whose mystery is the core of the plot, but it all is revealed so perfectly throughout the book that to explain further would spoil the experience.

While I can't comment on the accuracy of the identity-centered aspects of the book (for context, I am a white American femme lesbian), it was clear that the many different characters and storylines were written with knowledge and care. The main plot focuses on Elsie's family: her parents, who she is not ready to come out to, and her grandmother, who has flown over from Hong Kong to live with them for a little while after the funeral of Elsie's grandfather. Elsie's exploration of her identity as both Chinese and queer, and her slow realization of the ways that cultural pressures (such as the fetishization of Asian women) have shaped her, are nuanced and gentle, but (wonderfully) never blunted or diluted for the sake of readers who don't share these experiences. "If You Still Recognize Me" also touches on butch/TB/TBG dynamics in Hong Kong, being Black in online fandom, inter-generational dialogues with queer elders, dating as an asexual person, and general questioning of identity.

There were times when I was frustrated at Elsie for not recognizing larger parallels, assuming things, or forgiving too easily, but to be honest, it's my past self I was frustrated at. "If You Still Recognize Me" is YA. The teenagers act like teenagers, and their past trauma informs their actions and decisions. If anything, it's more realistic than I'm used to reading! I'm not saying I've carefully scrolled on Instagram to avoid accidentally liking old photos (like the characters do), but... not saying I haven't.

If I had been able to read a book like this back when I was a the lonely teenage lesbian, hanging around my local comic book shop between summers as a camp counselor (okay, I might relate most to Ada), I think it would have been a great comfort and weight off my shoulders. I'm so glad that's going to be possible for future young adults.

(and there was only one bed!!)

"If You Still Recognize Me" is an enjoyable story about reconnecting, young love, and finding oneself. Elsie is a fan of the comic "Eden Recoiling", which features prominent queer characters of colors -- something that resonates with her as a bisexual woman of Chinese heritage (family from Hong Kong). She has bonded with a fellow fan, Ada, over the comic and related fan fiction. Ada is a good fan fiction writer and ships Zaria and Mayumi, the same characters that most interest Elsie. They have never met, as Ada lives in New York, and Elsie lives in Oxford, England, but communicate regularly via text and video chat, and Elsie has developed a crush on Ada, which she has yet to reveal. Elsie's love of "Eden Recoiling" will lead to her applying for a job at a local comic shop, where she will work with the owner's son (who is gay and ace), and where she will have the opportunity to promote comics that feature queer characters as well as comics written by queer individuals. The events at the comic shop and the friendship with Felix (the gay ace coworker) are some of the best aspects of the story.

Adding to the complication of her secret feelings for Ada, Elsie has to get used to her grandmother (Po Po) living with the family. Elsie and her family used to visit Hong Kong at least annually but that stopped eight years ago, and Elsie does not know why, just that there is tension between her parents and grandparents. However, her mother has recently been in Hong Kong because her father (Elsie's grandfather) was ill and passed away, and she has brought her mother back with her to England, not wanting her to be alone. Po Po is traditional in her views and not shy about sharing her opinion, which would not be favorable towards a bisexual granddaughter (if Elsie were to come out to her family). One thing I particularly liked about the book is that the author includes Cantonese words and phrases, and provides the English translation, as well as discussing cultural differences between England and Hong Kong.

Furthermore, Elsie's former best friend, Joan, has suddenly returned to Oxford, where she will be attending university in the fall. When Joan's family moved back to Hong Kong, they promised to stay in touch, and Elsie wrote multiple letters and later sent multiple emails but never received a response from Joan and never understood why. Joan has changed quite a bit in the intervening years and is now a butch/tomboy lesbian. That is quite the contrast, as when they were younger, Elsie was the more tomboyish of the pair and Joan was the more feminine. This will lead to an interesting discussion of how queer culture differs between England and Hong Kong, especially with respect to the butch/tomboy identity.

Joan's return will add tension and confusion, especially as Ritika, Elsie's new best friend, does not understand how Elsie can so easily forgive and welcome back Joan after years of no communication, and because Elsie invites Joan to join her and Ritika on a trip that was supposed to involve just the two of them; Ritika has no romantic interest in Elsie, she was just really looking forward to this special trip before their paths diverged, as they were attending different universities in the fall. Moreover, Elsie will start to question how she feels towards Joan, and whether those feelings are platonic.

If that was not enough, Ada's grandmother used to live in Cornwall, and when Ada told her that was where Elsie was planning to go on her summer trip, Grandma Rebecca began reminiscing about a childhood friend, Theresa, and showed Ada letters from Theresa that contained "sapphic vibes." Rebecca and Theresa had exchanged letters for a while and then lost touch. Ada shares digital copies of the letters, and Elsie decides she wants to try to find Theresa and surprise both Ada and Rebecca. This will prove to be quite the adventure.

There are many great aspects about this story, and I would certainly recommend it to anyone who likes young adult romance, especially if you like books that involve queer characters, people of color, and comics/fan fiction.

This book actually took me by surprise. I was in for a good old fashioned y/a romance but what I got was even better.
This story takes you on a self discovery journey. It is raw, honest and heartwarming. It also focuses on reuniting two women who lost touch many years ago and kind of parallel's with our protagonist reuniting with her best friend that she also lost touched with. I think the story was developed beautifully and I really think all the characters were important to the story and fun. The only thing that would have made the book so much better (5 stars from me) is if it was longer. I kind of wanted to see more of Joan and Elsie throughout the story, I think the chemistry between them was lacking in most of their scenes together up until they realized they had feelings for each other. There were not a lot of longing stares, awkward conversations or those butterflies you get when you're connecting with someone. It actually made me wonder throughout the book if they were going to get together because I wasn't seeing the chemistry in the first 100 pages. However, I do think that is because the book was so short and there was not a lot of time for the fluff when there was so much detail and important storylines to pack into it without feeling rushed.

If You Still Recognize Me is a slow-moving sapphic story. I picked it up and put it down many times. I really like the formatting of the story, especially how the text messaging and emails are accomplished.

Cynthia So gives us a love triangle. They also give us lots of information about what is going on in other stories and fandoms that just didn’t interest me. It just seemed like filler to me. I wanted the meat and potatoes and didn’t need it covered in all of the gravy.

There is also a lot going in Elsie’s life and I don’t even know how Elsie had time for it all. (chuckle). It just seemed like too many messages trying to be crammed into one book. As if it wants to be too many ideas instead of just a story of a girl trying to figure out where she fits in with her culture and community and falls in love along the way.

It’s just too busy and yet too slow at the same time for me. This does not mean that this book may not be perfect for you. Give the book a read and let me know what you think.

I struggled to get into this, and I really wanted to like it. The story dragged from the beginning and spent an excessive amount of time on the “Eden Recoiling” fandom. I love queer romances and was excited to read this one, but I just struggled to get into it.

I was given an ARC by NetGalley and HarperCollins Childrens all opinions are my own.

Gosh, this is such a delightful, perfect story of lost and found connections, community, and identity. I love the complexity of feelings and crushes, and how hard it can be to have a crush on your best friend. This also has such great familial complexities, with parts of family history finally being revealed to Elsie so the reason they haven’t been to Hong Kong in eight years is revealed. This is all around such a great story of friendship, found family, blood family, community, and having a space to discover your identity and representation to normalize that it’s not only quite people who are queer or attractive. Just, so many good elements!

This was a really sweet book that had me on a bit of a roller coaster. This is something I would have loved to read as a kid. The characters and romance were adorable and while it took me a bit to get into the book once the story picked up it was a very entertaining read.

This is a tricky book that will connect with teens on a fundamental level. It started out as a slow read where I wasnt connecting with the MC possibly because of age. I'm definitely out of the YA age range yet some of the most relevant and emotionally thought provoking material can be found in this section of a library. Given that, this might be an example of where I could've let this story slip. Hence my hesitancy at the start.

Regardless of all that, this book was well worth the extra effort on my part. As the story evolved, I found myself growing with the MC.
This book is journey.

Thank you to Netgalley and HarperCollins Children's Books, HarperTeen for providing an eARC for a honest review.

This was such a cute romance it took me on an emotional rollercoaster that I had no intention on getting off of. This book was exactly what i needed when i needed.

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest rating and review.

This book was a nice coming of age, self-discovery novel. I really enjoyed the storyline about finding the main character’s friend’s grandma’s long-lost lover. I also enjoyed the internal monologue throughout about the main character’s thoughts about self expression and coming out. I was extremely frustrated, however, with the fact that it seemed like every couple minutes she had a big crush on somebody different. It made the ending less special, as I felt like anybody who expressed they had feelings for her would’ve made her happy. The story also felt a little too dragged along throughout the middle.