In recent years, I’ve become fond of non-fiction. What started with a challenge to finally pick up the few non-fiction books I had on my TBR ended with me actively seeking out new books. Despite my new-found love for non-fiction, I seldomly choose biographies and memoirs. (I think I might still be traumatised from having to wade through Gabriel García Marquez’s for my Spanish lit class at uni 😬).

Eighteen Seconds came out as an audiobook under the name Daffodils in 2022 and I’ve been on the fence about it ever since. I have read and loved every book Louise Beech has ever written, so of course I wanted to read her memoir as well. However, memoirs are a tricky thing. What if the memoir shows you a side of the person you admire that you didn’t know, what if it puts that person in a completely different light, what if it spoils their art for you forever?

Moreover, considering the event that kicked off the introspection that led to this memoir – her mum’s suicide attempt – and the fact that all of Louise’s books have made me well up, also knowing that there are autobiographical bits in there, I was afraid it would make for some very heavy reading.

Hence the fence I sat on for much too long. When I came across Eighteen Seconds on NetGalley, I made the split second decision to request it, to trust in the universe and the publisher to make the decision for me, and I saw my request accepted with mixed feelings…

I won’t lie, it’s not the lightest of reads. Louise Beech and her siblings have been through A LOT. And some of that is horrifying and/or harrowing and/or absolutely heartbreaking. It made me sad to think about some of the things Louise has had to hide behind that dazzling smile. However, much of it is also heartwarming. The bond with her siblings is incredibly strong and their humour really does lighten up the whole memoir, as does the love for her children.

I can’t tell you how much I feel for the little girl who fought so hard and well into adulthood too. For a bond she now knows was never there with a mother who showed more than a few narcissistic tendencies throughout her entire life. For her own mental health, and that of her younger siblings. I can’t tell you how much I feel for the kid who only ever had one adult in her life who made her feel that everything would be alright, and it wasn’t her parents.

Much like Louise’s fiction, her memoir is not a cheap sobfest. It made me sad and it made me smile and yes, it punched me in the gut, but what I was left with after reading it, is a better understanding of both the woman and the author. I loved the references to her fiction, learning what real-life event or person sparked a fictional one. And instead of spoiling her art for me forever, I now appreciate it even more. I am truly grateful to the universe and Mardle Books for helping me off that fence, I would have missed out. I would happily recommend Eighteen Seconds to readers who enjoy memoirs and / or who love Louise’s books.

Eighteen Seconds is out on 27 April.

Massive thanks to Mardle Books and NetGalley for the eARC. All opinions are my own.

I couldn't have read EIGHTEEN SECONDS at a more symbolic time in my life. Although not to the same degree and with different circumstances, I related to the author Louise in such a way that this memoir was both painful and therapeutic. All the worries and fears of a young girl from having a neglectful and dismissive mother, and see how it impacts her choices growing into a young adult and a young mother. I so appreciated the dark humor, because frankly I don't know if I would have been able to finish the book due such heavy matter. I loved the theme of the daffodils. I loved the perspectives from all four of the kids. To see which memories stood out to them and how they reacted to and coped with their childhood in different yet the same ways. I'm so relieved that Louise and her siblings had their uncle Edwin and each other in their lives. I believe EIGHTEEN SECONDS should be a required reading for any psychology course. It addresses depression, addiction, suicide, estrangement, abuse, mental health, and trauma... yet it also addresses, hope, forgiveness, growth, strength, resilience, and love. I'm grateful for the author for sharing every one of her words in her memoir, and I'm go grateful for the reminder that our parents' happiness is not any more important than our own happiness.

Much gratitude to Ad Lib Publishers and NetGalley for the ARC.

Spare, honest prose. Beech writes with raw emotion and immediacy, especially in the opening chapters. This is a tough book, at times difficult to read, because of the subject matter. But it’s a story of siblings ultimately, and of love.

This memoir was deeply moving and raw. The author did an exceptional job of placing the reader in the midst of her turbulent and painful childhood. I appreciated how open the author was in sharing her experience. I did think the second half could have benefited from a quicker pace. I also got lost a few times trying to determine which time period I was reading about. Overall this was a deeply affecting, beautiful story of these siblings love and their journey to face and overcome their past.

As a child, Louise Beech told everyone she was going to be a world famous novelist one day.

The author pulled herself up from considerable disadvantages. She was one of the daughters of a single, depressed and far-too-often ignorant mother. As a child she cared for her younger siblings (twin sisters and a brother) and constantly dealt with a "entitled to life" mother. Author's initial encounter with her mother's drunk and negligent behaviour occurred when her mother took up alcohol as a saviour to fight depression. Needless to say, things began to crumble down. Her mother seldom took notice, she was all too preoccupied carousing. These manners continued for four decades and destroyed four youthful lives in the course.

When her mother jumped off the Humber Bridge all the griefs and trauma began to resurface, demanding collective confrontation. The jump led her to experience a tragedy so profound it changed the course of her life. Constant medical visits, as well as exhaustion from the critical conditions, drove her to seek sanctuary in writing once more. Writing has always been an escape for the author. It gave voice to her emotions. Writing always provided the assurance of an optimistic tomorrow (one that should have been assured from her mother).

Eighteen seconds is a powerful memoir about family love and the tragic impacts of mental illness and suicide.

Eighteen Seconds is a powerful and haunting memoir writer, Louise Beech, looks back on the events that led to the day her mother jumped off the Humber Bridge. She recounts the pain and trauma of her childhood alongside her love for her siblings. This is a heartbreaking account of their lives and the hardships they endured. It’s not a simple read by any stretch of the imagination. It’s raw, tragic and brutally honest. The story is heartbreakingly sad, but it offers hope and inspiration to those in a similar situation.

Even when Beech recalls some of the saddest moments in her childhood, she injects dark humour into the story. Some readers may find this odd or unusual, but it’s obviously a tool the family used as a coping mechanism in the darkest of times. The respect and love that Beech and her siblings have for each other is obvious. Even in adulthood, their bond appears to be unbreakable.

It must be difficult to admit a mother isn’t the ‘perfect’ role mother. It’s even more difficult to write about it and share your abusive childhood with the world, but Louise shows great courage, resilience and strength of character. She’s grown and developed and hasn’t let her traumatic childhood define her. Eighteen Seconds is beautifully written, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down memoir.
#EighteenSeconds

My review will be posted to my Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thebookreviewcafe and all relevant book sites

This is a memoir of Beech’s life.

Eighteen Seconds is a beautiful memoir of Louise Beech’s life from a small child to more recently. It chronicles her life with her siblings living with a mother who was an alcoholic, a chronic depressive and attempted suicide. It's not a cheerful happy story by any means and it's obvious why someone would be nervous to share such a personal memoir.

Eighteen Seconds starts with a chilling opening scene with her mother jumping off the Humber Bridge. What follows is deeply moving, an exploration of Beech’s childhood, how things affected her and her siblings and the resulting confusion. This is a harrowing account of a family torn apart and an inspiring look at Beech’s natural maternal instinct, caring for her siblings, protecting and nurturing them during such difficult times and then onto an uplifting account, offering hope to many who have been in similar situations.

I enjoyed Louise Beech’s previous novel, This is how we are Human which I enjoyed but while this is a memoir, her writing skill shows through providing a beautifully written account which includes care records, excerpts of letters, poetry and on occasion almost a stream of consciousness. I only hope this was a therapeutic undertaking as it certainly feels like it to read.

While it feels wrong to say, I loved the dark humour and banter between the siblings, a coping mechanism no doubt. They have not had it easy, but they have emerged with dignity, compassion and love.

I can only admire Louise Beech’s bravery in sharing this often raw and no doubt traumatic account of her childhood. To write it as therapy is one thing but to release it to the world and lay yourself bare is incredibly brave, I don’t even have the words to describe how this must feel to go through. The bravery has paid off though, this is an excellent memoir, inspiring to anyone who has been in a remotely similar situation, giving hope to thousands of people, perhaps especially young people who need to hear that things can work out, that bad experiences can be overcome and good relationships are possible despite a bad start.

I will never look at daffodils again without thinking of ‘Eighteen Seconds’. sometimes I think when we view successful authors everything appears to be so easy for them, but this shows not to judge a book by its cover, always be kind as you have no idea what a person is going through and that there is always hope for a better future.

It is impossible to write a review that would do justice to this memoir. We are taught from an early age through words and instinct to love our mother and look up to her no matter what. If your mom isn't Beaver Cleaver's mom (you youngins google it) you don't say anything. To talk bad about your mom is taboo and frowned upon. "She gave you life."

But Louise is brave. Louise lets us know what it's like to have a mom who needs mothering herself. A mother who neglects her children in every way and is so self-centered, she refuses to acknowledge the neglect..

It is such a relief that her mother couldn't tear apart the siblings love for each other. You can see it even now on Louise's Twitter feed when she mentions her sister. It's like she reverts to being a child with her sister.

This is such an important memoir. We shouldn't be afraid to talk about how awful our mothers are if they are. I wish I had this book to read when I was young.

Eighteen Seconds is a powerful and heartbreaking memoir. Louise Beech explains the present with her mother and the childhood with her mother. Both times are extremely heartbreaking. There were so many parts in the book that I felt such a connection with Louise and felt seen for some common trauma and triggers from childhood. I give Louise so much credit for laying everything out in this memoir. With all the heartbreak in this book there was also so much happiness. The reference to The Office and After Life I was like I see you Louise! The group chats with her siblings and the constant group name changes added some light to a heavy memoir

I'm very lucky to have met Louise Beech on numerous occasions and have followed her books from her first publication. This is such a heartbreaking story of her and her siblings upbringing. It's so so true that you never know what goes on behind closed doors. A small insight of their turbulent lives with a mother who simply didn't care. Their strength throughout is just amazing.

This is such a powerful memoir raw,honest and heartbreaking.

Louise Beech as an author I’ve recently discovered and I was eager to read mor about her. Her mother struggled throughout her life with mental health issues which led to her jumping off the Humber Bridge

Louise had a childhood which was shaped by her mothers illness who also seemed to put her own needs before that of her children Louise took on the role of mother looking after her siblings while also navigating the uncertainty of their lives which involved the care system, neglect and abuse

Many adults are shaped by their early childhood experiences, but Louise has overcome her own past, which is an inspiration to others.By sharing with such honesty, her own story.she has no doubt, helped others who may be in a similar circumstances.

My own childhood was the opposite of Louise’s , and I felt at times heartbroken when I read how much the four young children had to endure .

We all have coping strategies and writing has always been Louise’s , this is evident in her wonderful books, I now have even more admiration for her after reading this powerful inspirational book.

If you are ever in a room with Louise Beech you will find her easily because she is the person with the brightest smile and most welcoming manner, instantly putting you at your ease. I was shocked to find out what lies behind that bright smile. A childhood of neglect and abuse, apart from the snippets of time spent with her loving grandmother, Louise brought up herself and her younger twin sister, while her baby brother was often separated from them when their mother could no longer look after them. This story broke my heart - I wanted to travel back in time to pick up those four little children and to rescue them from their life of neglect and lack of adult care and guidance. The book travels between Louise’s childhood with her unstable, narcissist, alcoholic mother and her mother’s attempt to take her own life by jumping from the Humber Bridge. The book is beautifully written and held me rapt throughout. Surprisingly, there is lots of humour as well, particularly with the exchange of messages on the family Whatsapp group. A highly recommended read.

I don't know if I'm qualified to review this book.

I've only ever read a few memoirs, Johnny Vegas, Peter Kay, Ken Bruce, Lemn Sissay and criminal turned crime writer Edward Bunker...

Ive never read a memoir like this...

I had just finished to the audiobook of End Of Story, my first read of Louise's fiction, you know when your read a great book by a 'new-to-you' author? You want to read everything they've ever written and you want to learn more about them.

I don't really read blurbs, I trust authors.

I knew it was a bleak subject, Louise's mother jumping off the Humber Bridge, but I wasn't aware of the traumatic childhood experienced. A childhood spent being a 'mini-mum' to her younger siblings, instability, children's home, neglect and abuse.

It's a heart-wrenching story told with unflinching honesty and openness. The narrative flows, back and forth, key events and memories are seen from different perspectives, there are contributions from the siblings and other relatives. It's clear the author sought to research, to understand and present the fullest, truest picture rather than present a single narrow agenda.

Such a brave book, filled with humour, hope and heart in amongst all the hurt and turmoil.

Absolutely compelling reading and I have so much admiration for the author, her resilience, determination and honesty, and of course her writing.

I hope this book provides inspiration and hope to others.

A deeply powerful and moving book.


Thanks to Netgalley and Ad Lib Publishers

Powerful memoir that is compelling in every way. For every heartbreak written about, there is compassion. For every upset, there is the opposite, an uplift where our author looks at what has happened and tries to understand it.

Sometimes the only way to understand and come to terms with something is to write your way into it and through it. I feel this is what Louise Beech has done in relation to her memoir Eighteen Seconds, which focuses on the author's relationship with her mother. The book begins after we find out her mother has tried to commit suicide by jumping off the Humber Bridge and has miraculously survived the fall.
The book moves between present-day accounts of hospital visits and updates and flashbacks to Louise's childhood with her twin sisters and brother living with their mother and in care when things break down at home as a result of their mother's mental instability, alcoholism, depression and suicidal tendencies. Some tender moments are shared between the siblings and, in particular, Louise's reflection on her grandmother, which I found particularly moving and reminded me of my grandmother's love and care for me.

This is raw, honest writing that must have been challenging to put down on paper. It is punctuated by a savvy and dark sense of humour witnessed in all the family members, something that was undoubtedly used as a coping mechanism.

It's not an easy read, but it is compelling, highlighting the complexities of family dynamics and how those we often have the greatest expectations of can continually disappoint us.

A courageous write by a brave writer. This is the third book I've read by this author and I shall definitely be seeking out her back catalogue to add to my reading list.

4.5 stars.

A memoir of the author, this is a bares all telling of her upbringing along with three siblings and their depressed (understatement) mother. A heartbreaking account of their lives and the hardships they endured. What does shine through is the compassion and care they have for a woman who didn’t always (another understatement) put their needs first, but was more than happy to bestow love and friendship on various lovers. The support that Mother’s children gave her was heroic, and the fact that they are functioning adults, though not without some trauma, is amazing.

One memory was particularly poignant. After describing a train journey when Mother was in fine form and making them all laugh, the author wrote this “This is where the deepest hurt lies. When someone makes you smile that much, it reminds you that you love them. Makes you forgive. Makes you go back to them after the hurt. But the hurt is bigger. The hurt is too much.”

The latter chapters giving the reader an insight to how the actions of their mother had affected them were harrowing, especially the lengths that Louise went to to feel loved and wanted, she is unbelievably brave.

As said in the book, a novel has and ending, but a memoir continues after the last page. The Afterword is intriguing. I am invested in this family and would love to know how they get on, but appreciate that, for them, this is perhaps enough.

An outstanding read, thank you NetGalley.

This book blew me away so much I felt I needed a day after to absorb all of it and reflect.
It seems too simplistic to call this a memoirs, but it covers the childhood experiences of the author Louise Beech and her siblings living with their mother and in the care system, alongside the more current documenting of her mother's recent suicide attempt and the pandemic.
Both heartbreaking and hopeful, this story shows the conflicting and important truths of life with involvement of mental health services and of a very difficult home environment.
The courage of the author and her siblings (& uncle) to share their memories and the immense bond they all have was so profound; I found their shared (dark) humour so amusing and laughed on more than one occasion. I've also found humour to be such an important life raft in my own life when things seem bleak and unfathomable.
I initially heard about this book a while ago via Louise Beech's Instagram page and at the time the book was called "Daffodils" which knowing the symbolism and importance of that flower throughout the book I kind of wish it had kept as a title. Having said that, the 'Eighteen seconds' title refers to a conversation the author has with her mother who wished for people to live eighteen seconds with depression to know her reality; that section and the reflection of both empathy and truth between what everyone experienced was a very moving chapter to absorb.

Writer, Louise Beech, looks back on the events that led to the day her mother wrote down her last words, then jumped off the Humber Bridge. She missed witnessing the horror herself by minutes.
Louise recounts the pain and trauma of her childhood alongside her love for her siblings with a delicious dark humour and a profound voice of hope for the future.
I absolutely loved this #memoir. At times it is traumatic and heart-breaking but the strength of how the siblings unite, filled my heart with joy. It's not just a memoir it is also a description of the art of writing which Louise has absolutely nailed. What is also novel about this narrative is that although written by Louise, the respect the siblings – brother and twin girls have for each other and their bravery shines through in their own words. I think perhaps the first of its kind – it really is a family memoir.

I'm not quite sure which words adequately describe this wonderful memoir so I'll start with 'pacey', which may seem an odd one to put first, but I find a lot of autobiographies quite slow, or self-aggrandising, and this one is far from either. Louise weaves her dysfunctional past with the terrible trauma of the present, coming to terms with her mother's suicide attempt and recovery, somehow managing to inject her customary touches of wry humour, warmth and compassion for all involved. It's so well written. I hope it's been cathartic for her - I couldn't help wondering throughout if her mother has or will read it, but far more importantly, I think it's such a visceral description of the havoc that long-term alcoholism wreaks on not just the alcoholic but all their family. This book should be standard issue at AA! I felt so sorry for Louise and her siblings, but in absolute awe at their grit, courage and humour. It's great.

I don't even know how to start with this review.

This book is so personal. It touched me on so many levels, as someone who has been through something similar but with quite a bit of difference and a different ending. My mother didn't survive her last suicide attempt. I tried so hard since I was very young to save her, calling other family members, calling ambulances... No child should have to go through something like this. I managed to get out of the dark hole my upbringing put me in, I saved myself when no one else was helping.

I appreciate the honesty (and humour!) of Louise telling us this part of her life. With bits from her siblings, it gives a better understanding of what was like growing up with her mother and everything that happened as a consequence of their mother's neglect and alcoholism among other things.

I can empathise a lot with it since it happened to me too. Not the same experience as a whole but very similar. I don't have any siblings. My mother's issues were provoked mainly because of her own mother as I learned way too late.

This is a raw and heartbreaking one. I knew what I was getting into when I requested it. Be aware of all the triggers before you pick it up.

You never know the story behind someone's smile.

Thank you NetGalley and @mardlebooks @ for my eARC.