Cover Image: You Will Find Your People

You Will Find Your People

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Member Reviews

Lane Moore is one of my favorite comedians and social media personalities. I've been a fan of Tinder Live since it began and really enjoyed "How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't" so going into this book I knew I would like it. 

It's a fantastic memoir and although it won't be relatable for everyone I found it VERY relatable. The stories were funny and sometimes eerily familiar. And that is why I gave it four stars instead of five. It's not something I can rave about or suggest to everyone. It will be a very niche group that will enjoy what this book has to offer and I'm glad I am part of that group.

Thank you NetGalley and Abrams Image for the advanced reader copy
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The book I needed 10 years ago, and the book that I'm glad to have now. As someone who is just now FINALLY finding my people and cultivating relationships that are important to me, I really loved this book. No one teaches us how to make, nurture, and keep friendships, and as an adult it is so difficult. It makes me so happy that I have a book that I can share with the young people in my life who are starting to realize how important found family is to them. I adore that the book focuses on the whole picture of finding your people - from knowing yourself first, figuring out what you need, how to ask for it, and also how to reciprocate that friendship with those you love. This is such an important topic, and I'm excited to have a new recommendation to my friends!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital ARC of You Will Find Your People in exchange for an honest review.
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You Will Find Your People by Lane Moore is a heartfelt and honest memoir about the author's search for connection and community. Moore shares her personal struggles with mental health, relationships, and self-acceptance, all while offering insight and advice on how to find and build meaningful connections with others.

The writing style is engaging and vulnerable, making the book feel like a conversation with a close friend. Moore's humor and wit also add a lightheartedness to the book, making it an enjoyable read even in its more serious moments.

While I found the book to be relatable and insightful, there were times where it felt a bit meandering or unfocused. Additionally, some of the advice presented may not be feasible or applicable to everyone, depending on their individual circumstances.

Overall, however, You Will Find Your People is a valuable read for anyone seeking to build meaningful connections and find a sense of belonging in today's increasingly isolating world. It's a well-written and relatable memoir that offers hope and inspiration to those who may be struggling to find their place. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in personal growth and self-improvement.
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I picked up this book as I just moved to a new area, and as always, find myself looking for new friends. 

First, this is not necessarily a DIY find your friends book. It's more of a post mortem of friendships that were good, great or not so great. I enjoyed the author's thorough breakdown of their friendship history. It gave me a chance to be introspective about my own friendship history, and realize; I'd been doing the right things all along. Whether it was maintaining good friends or allowing the toxic "frenemies" to resolve themselves out of my life, I've had pretty good handle on my friendships. 

As an introvert, I don't have many friends, I'm always looking for my people. I'm always disappointed when I think I find them, only to realize that the feeling wasn't mutual. The author did give some ideas on finding new friends and how to maintain and grow those friendships, but that was intermingled between the stories and observations. There were some long winded sections but truly, the author seemed to want to convey to their audience every detail of their friendship history. It was interesting, but at times tedious to follow. 

If I personally knew this author, they would be one of my friends. We both seem to possess the internal thought process of trying to figure out our interpersonal relationships and the "how and why" of them, not to mention the "next steps" or "how is this going to end". I'm fairly certain I have some years on the author, my only advice is that you are doing it all right. 

Thank you for putting yourself out there by writing this book so the rest of us "friendship challenged" people know we are not alone!
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The title really resonated with the current stage of my life - new to a city and completely hopeless at putting myself out there when it comes to adult friendships. Overall, this book made me feel validated! A good read for folks who find themselves in sort of the same boat. Thank you to the author and publisher for the eARC!
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I will confess that I was not familiar with comedian, actor, author, and singer/songwriter Lane Moore prior to getting the opportunity to check out her new book "You Will Find Your People: How to Make Meaningful Friendships as an Adult," a follow-up to her acclaimed "How to be Alone."

Because I was unfamiliar with Moore, and for that matter "How to be Alone," I approached "You Will Find Your People" with a clean slate. While I'd read enough advance material to know to expect a sort of tapestry of self-help meets memoir, I had little or no expectations other than my own attraction to the topic itself and my readiness to experience Moore tackling it.

The end result?

"You Will Find Your People" is stronger as a memoir, Moore's journey through the world of friendship often engaging, occasionally irritating, and dysfunctional enough that you can't help but understand why the author has at least somewhat struggled in the area of friendship.

"You Will Find Your People" is less successful as a self-help endeavor. This is partly because Moore never quite sells herself convincingly as an expert of sorts and, as such, I never felt even remotely compelled to accept her ideas, theories, suggestions, etc. "I Think" statements seemed awfully prevalent throughout "You Will Find Your People," yet they were never backed by anything other than Moore's own personal experience and that personal experience comes off more often than not as dysfunctional, self-absorbed, and immature. It's not that I expected a research-laden book from an acknowledged comedian, but when you subtitle your book "How to Make Meaningful Friendships as an Adult," I do expect there to be a certain degree of expertise around the subject and while "You Will Find Your People" is often funny I seldom, if ever, felt like I was truly learning much about how to make meaningful friendships as an adult other than, to a certain degree, what had worked for Moore (even though we seemed to be told more often than not what had not worked for her).

I kept wanting to love "You Will Find Your People." In fact, I never disliked it at all. It just never really grabbed me because it felt like Moore was getting in her own way as an author. Authors like Jena Friedman, Tom Papa, and Michael Ian Black, all also comedians, have tackled similar themes with a more effective weaving together of that self-help meets memoir.

"You Will Find Your People" would have likely been more effective had Moore simply given herself to the humorous side of this discussion and focused exclusively on the memoir aspects of her journey with friendship. This would have, I think, made some of the scenarios served up a little funnier without the burden of trying to unearth how this all adds up to self-help. At times, it feels like Moore is still discovering her own truths in "You Will Find Your People" and that journey could have been incredibly captivating as someone who has found success and who still struggles in the real world of adult relationships and friendships.

Instead, we're too often left with stories that are tinged with bitterness and unresolved emotions with self-help lessons, or at least assertions, that feel underdeveloped and applicable primarily to the narrow set of readers who will identify a similar to Moore.

All this said, "You Will Find Your People" will, in fact, find its readers. Moore shares her own personal stories with openness and humor and sound-byte insights that will undoubtedly click with some readers including, especially, those who already know Moore's work and appreciate her. While "You Will Find Your People" wasn't quite the book I'd hoped it would be, Moore's willingness to open herself up and also explore how media impacts friendships offered moments of contemplation and reflection on the complicated journey toward making meaningful friendships as an adult.
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I found this book a bit difficult to complete despite its shorter length. 
I can appreciate the experiences and tips provided but I ultimately didn't find it relevant. That being said I can see why it does have good reviews. This definitely offers some good insights that might benefit someone else. Thank you NetGalley for allowing me the opportunity to review this book.
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This book fell pretty flat for me. I was excited to read it as I definitely feel the need to add to my close friends in this stage of my life but it didn’t seem very helpful or relatable. Moore goes into a ton of detail about just about every friendship she ever had and basically all the ways her friends let her down. It didn’t feel like she was an expert to take advice from as much as someone fundamentally bad at making deeper friendships. There are a lot of very short chapters with very specific scenarios like what to do if you fall in love with your friend and how to know when it’s time to end a friendship and what to do with friendship that changes depth. I mostly just wanted how to find likeminded people and then get close, but that wasn’t the focus here. 

Moore really struck me as childish and bitter more than helpful and inspirational. As an example, here is what she says towards the end about figuring out what you want from friendship. 

What would it look like to you, to finally have the friendships you dreamed of as a child, or even dream of now? Maybe it’s having the ultimate copilot on a really incredible road trip overseas for two months. Or maybe it’s finally having an emergency contact you can write down without even thinking about it, someone you know who will always be there if you need them. For me, I always think of having a surprise party. I have thrown surprise parties for other people, and attended many, but I have never had one (yet, still hopeful.) To me, a surprise party is the dreamiest final form of friendship and I want it so very much. I’ve wanted one since I was a little kid, and with every year since, I want one even more. I want a surprise fucking birthday party thrown by my friends that I didn’t have to do anything to organize. I want everyone I love to be there, and I want fucking gifts. I want to open those gifts and not think for a second about what I have to do to pay them back, or if I deserve them, or about all of the birthdays I spent without any gifts at all. I want to walk through that door and step into a world where I am known, where I am seen, where I am celebrated. I want lights and I want a great playlist I didn’t have to make myself but is just as good as if I had. I want all my favorite foods to be there, and then another secret plate of food that’s in the back just for me after the party. I want the air to feel good. I want to know this party is for me, for all the things I’ve been and all that I’m becoming. And I want to enjoy it, not as my past self who didn’t get this or my future self looking back at it, but as the person I am in this moment, feeling as loved as I should’ve always been.

That seems like a lot to me, and like she’s likely to always feel shortchanged. I don’t even think it’s realistic and it sounds like even if people did throw her a surprise party it wouldn’t live up to that. Personally, I mostly just want more friends where I can get together with them, laugh and be real. 

In contrast, the book Find Your Village tells very helpful information about all the kinds of friendships that we all need, how to build them, and how to be a good friend. The focus in that book is how to be there for others and build real communities, as opposed to this one of trying to find some fantasy friend. 

That said, people who enjoy this sort of (sorry but this is the only phrase I can think of) navel gazing and introspection will probably find it quite interesting and maybe helpful. 

Perfectly fine for its audience, just not for me.
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This insightful and thought-provoking read offers an in-depth look at the importance of finding and connecting with like-minded individuals. This book is a must-read for anyone looking to build meaningful relationships and foster a sense of belonging. With her unique perspective and engaging writing style, Moore provides an inspiring and uplifting message that will leave readers feeling empowered and connected.
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First off, thank you to Netgalley for the advanced copy. I really enjoyed this book. It was reassuring to me that there are others who fall through the cracks about making true, life-long, trusting friendships. Life is so hard and having a true friend can make going through life all that much better! The author gives stories and suggestions that were practical. I was highly engaged.
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It’s so refreshing to read something that you feel like the author peeked into your soul to write about. I’ve always thought I was missing something or making too big of a deal of the types of deep friendships I’ve been wanting. 

In You Will Find Your People I not only felt seen, I felt heard. I related to so many of the stories the author shared, especially in the end about surprise birthday parties. To be able to have the kind of close relationships with people that you would be able to have friends plan something like that is something I’ve always dreamed of. So to see that other people have that dream to was really neat. 

Overall this book helped me realize that I’m not alone in wanting the type of deep friendships I am seeking. It also taught me that these kind of relationships may not look the way I originally pictured, I may have already found some of my people. Getting clarity on that was everything I needed right now. Thank you NetGalley and  Abrams Image for the advanced reader copy of this wonderful book.
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Making and keeping friendships as an adult can be weird and really challenging. This book examines the types of friends that come into our lives, what it means to truly give and receive friendship and how to hold on (and when to let go) of our friendships. While this book was partly a memoir of the author's friendships, it also showed that much of what we go through in adult friendships is universal. 

This is a short but impactful read. Highly recommend for anyone in the stage of life where friends aren't just the people you play with at recess anymore.
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I follow the author on Instagram (@hellolanemoore), so I was excited to read this one. The ideas in the book are goo, but overall, the book felt really repetitive to me. There are personal stories woven throughout the book, and I think many readers will find the book relatable. I enjoyed the first third of the book a lot, and found it really relatable. But, the remainder was slow & dragged. 

TL;DR: ⭐️⭐️⭐️Good writing. Relatable content. Slow, repetitive, found last 2/3s of book to be boring.

Thanks to Abrams and NetGalley for this digital ARC in exchange for an honest review. It's due to be published on April 25, 2023.
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Finding friends isn't always easy, especially during a pandemic. Lane Moore gives insightful advice in order to discover more about yourself and find friends who identify with who you are now and who you will become in the future. We're created for connection and intimacy. Friendships are important. It was joyful to read this book and delve into how we can meet the people who understand us.
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A compassionate guide to how to find your friends the people who you feel comfortable with can relax and be yourself .Her closest friend is someone she connected with on line has hardly ever seen in real life but feels the closest to,Really interesting read and view of friendship today. #netgalley#abramsbooks
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"You Will Find Your People" by Lane Moore is a useful tool for healing your past friendships and learning your attachment style so you can know what to ask for, and creating future friendships you deserve. Recommended for anyone curious to learn more about finding friendships. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.
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This is a lovely, compassionate, and approachable guide to examining what you want from friendships, how to maintain and communicate, and how your attachment style may affect those relationships.
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You Will Find Your People by Lane Moore is both a personal development book and a self-help resource providing tools for those looking to deepen the relationships they have currently, assess which relationships to let go of, and those searching to make new connections based on the person they are in the present season of their lives. 

I really enjoyed the structure of this book and the way there are personal narratives from Lane's life shared throughout. She also shares examples from popular culture including some of our favorite TV shows that help to drive points home in a meaningful way. There are relationship dynamics that Lane helps readers normalize that we all encounter along the course of our development including toxic friends, falling in love with a friend, deciding whether or not to befriend an ex, etc. And then there are dynamics that feel familiar or that we are drawn to because of toxic family patterns, our own attachment styles, blind spots, or even a deep desire to maintain a bond at any cost. The author encourages us to consider all of these things. 

The author provides readers with concrete tools, friendship tropes, and questions to get us to consider what we need in a friend and whether or not those needs are being met. She teaches readers how to assess the tricky nuances of relationships and makes some really strong points about the difference between friends that look good on paper and what actual healthy, meaningful, and reciprocal friendship should look and feel like. 

I know this book is going to provide readers with some great food for thought and help normalize the disconnection many of us feel when trying to make and maintain friendships in adulthood. 

Thank you to the author and publisher for the e-arc copy!
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