Emily Paulson felt lost. A young mother with several small children, she’d stepped away from the career ladder and found herself stuck juggling childcare alone when her husband traveled for his corporate job. She was trapped in a circuit of sweatpants and Spongebob. So when an old high school acquaintance invited her out for wine, she was thrilled at the chance to get dressed up, go somewhere swish and feel like herself again.

It turned out to be a trap. Although she wasn’t swept into the back of a van by kidnappers, she was propelled into the world of Multilevel Marketing (MLM), also known as a pyramid scheme. The drinks invitation was a lure, first to be wowed by the fabulous cosmetics she could buy (at a discount!! And didn’t her friend’s skin look amazing?), and if she liked the product: why not have a go at selling it herself?

As Paulson writes in Hey, Hun, “I was the perfect target for an MLM, which preys on the cultural epidemic of isolation. They don’t exist because millions of SAHMs [stay-at-home mothers] are just dying to sell beauty products. They exist because those women feel lonely, trapped, and bereft of other solutions.” None of this is new: fifty years ago, suburban housewives were being targeted by Mary Kay and Tupperware parties. The postwar suburban expansion left many people feeling isolated, and the prospect of finding a network through a pyramid scheme was incredibly appealing to the stranded. But the rise of social media put a rocket under network marketing, enabling reps to reach out and pester thousands of connections, unlike the 1960s, when Amway reps had to rely on glad-handing at the Elks Lodge and Avon was still ringing doorbells.

What makes Paulson’s story fascinating is that she wasn’t a victim. There are thousands of people who bought into one of these firms, and now have nothing to show for it but a garage full of eyeshadow (or health shakes, or fitness DVDs), and a hefty credit card bill. She notes that “between 96 and 99.7 percent of people who buy into MLM schemes lose money. The odds of turning a profit in any MLM are lower than the odds of winning roulette.” Yet she was one of the winners, quickly becoming a top seller and at her peak earning $40,000 per month: mostly from the sales of her “downline,” those she had recruited. Those above her on the pyramid made even more.

This money partly came from a jaw-dropping degree of sleazy opportunism. Paulson’s firm (which she refers to by a pseudonym) was having their annual convention in Las Vegas at the time of the Mandalay Bay shooting. They turned this horrifying crime into a sales pitch. There is nothing, in her telling, that they wouldn’t monetize. She includes herself in this; she used her own cancer diagnosis to drum up customers. Because even as a winner, the pressure was immense. If you weren’t constantly pushing, you weren’t trying. You didn’t really believe. Part of what led Paulson to leave was becoming sober: realizing that without alcohol to lower her inhibitions, she couldn’t bring herself to be so pushy. She seems to have had a natural gift for sales and promotion which enabled her to do well (as well as charisma and looks), and has turned her post-MLM life into a success too. Since leaving MLM, Paulson works as a sobriety coach.

MLMs all work the same way, whatever the product. They have grown in the United States since the 1970s, partly through evangelical groups where they rose in tandem with the Prosperity Gospel. But they mine a rich seam of aspiration, going back to Napoleon Hill’s get-rich-quick books of a century ago. Paulson’s MLM was selling high-end skincare, mostly to white women, and the shakiest claim in the book comes when she labels this “white supremacy.” The nature of network marketing is that it leverages social networks that already exist. And most of us are socially connected to people who are like us. As any salesman (or con artist) will tell you, the best prospect (or mark) is someone with whom you have something in common, which is why you’ll be roped into an MLM by your neighbor, a sorority sister, or another mother from the PTA. We shouldn’t be surprised that pyramid schemes tend to be intraracial. But that is not to say that the concept is a distinctly “white” thing.

There are pyramid schemes around the world. They’ve been a growing problem in China since the Seventies, and in recent years they have become such an issue in India that the government has had to crack down. Humans of all races are susceptible to the controlling behavioral techniques that MLMs use. This is where Paulson’s book is at its most interesting, as she outlines the striking — and horrifying — parallels between MLM behavior and cult practices. People are initially seduced with promises of success, which give way to bullying and manipulation. The love-bombing returns as a reward that members are quickly conditioned to pursue. Like those living with an abusive spouse, members are at once desperate for the group’s approval and terrified of leaving. Some of the narrative is repetitive, as Paulson realizes how much she needs to spend to keep up the image, the designer clothes, the travel to all the networking meetings, the gifts to her team. But then she’s off on another flight; another convention. The hindsight recognition that it was all a crock taints the whole story (perhaps inevitably), because come on. Forty grand a month? That had to be more fun than she’s admitting. Which makes this a tricky cautionary tale, if its message is “don’t do what I do, because I made a fortune.”

But Paulson is brutal about the financial realities of most who get hooked by an MLM. The pyramid only works for those at the top, and the suckers at the bottom always lose. She’s able to stay afloat when she starts because of her husband’s income, which enables her to keep going until she starts recruiting a lot more “downline” sellers. Even the “free car” she is awarded for being a top saleswoman (free cars are a highly publicized MLM perk) isn’t free after all. She has to make the down payment, cover registration and insurance, and the MLM will only make the monthly payments as long as she stays at the top tier in sales. When she finally leaves, she is treated as an apostate, and dropped by all her “friends” who are part of the pyramid.

It’s easy to think “who would be such a dope as to fall for this?” Pyramid schemes are the subject of jokes and general derision. But they work because we all have points of vulnerability — and unscrupulous actors know how to use them.

Hey, Hun is an inside look at the MLM industry and how hard it is to leave even when you are one of the Top Earners.

I found Emily Lynn Paulson during the pandemic through Sober Mom Squad. She is a well spoken and very insightful so I was excited to read her story of what it was like to be in and get out of a popular MLM. I have always felt an "ick" towards MLMs but after reading this book I realized I had no idea how icky it really is. The MLMs prey on mostly stay at home moms who are lonely, want connection and want to feel like they are contributing to their family more. Here enters the MLM - work when you can! On your own terms - you are your own boss! Spend money to make money, if you aren't making money then you must not be working hard enough, make sure you recruit more people, meet your quotas, use your "story" to sell - cancer? Fabulous! Use it to send a message that even fighting cancer you can do this. Recovering from alcohol and substance abuse? Great! Come speak about how you overcame that! to a group of tipsy women who are drinking champagne during your presentation... hmmm doesn't sound so great anymore.

I always wondered why and how people got involved in the MLMs and why they couldn't just quit. I hadn't realized how hard it is to really get out even when you want to... especially when you are making very good money at it. And I hadn't realized how much manipulation is done to keep people "drinking the cool aid"

A really interesting story, with a great mix of the psychological and sociological reasons why people (particularly moms) join multi-level marketing companies. The book explores it all, including the problems people face when they do leave the MLM and how long it can take to do so. I wish the author had focused a bit more on her day to day experience in the MLM, but I still did find it pretty revealing. I enjoyed the book, and encourage you to pick it up if you're interested in learning more about the MLM industry. Thank you to Row House Publishing and NetGalley for an advanced copy, all opinions are my own.

I really enjoyed this tell all/ memoir about the downsides of MLMs. The author writes with honesty and authenticity. I never made the connection between MLMs and cults and white supremacy and I found her illustration of the connections and overlapping areas to be fascinating. She also talks candidly about mothering, her marriage, and alcoholism. If you liked the Lularich documentary, you will enjoy this book.

The story of one woman’s life in an MLM. Emily joined, became super successful, and then eventually disillusioned with an MKM. It was interesting to see a lot of the behind the scenes things with the MLM. I wish there had been more analysis and tying in more scholarly things based on the subtitle. It was mostly memoir, which is fine, but I wish that had been clearer in the title! Overall, a super interesting read.

I received my copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

"Hey, Hun" by Emily Lynn Paulson. This book delves deep into the world of multilevel marketing (MLM) schemes, from the perspective of one of its few "winners". Paulson takes us on her journey from the initial draws of, sisterhood, the promise of success, and time away from her kids to addiction, broken friendships, and the patriarchal foundation of the pyramid. She reveals the dark underbelly of MLMs, exposing their exploitative practices and their deep connection to the troubling roots of white supremacy in America. Paulson strikes a delicate balance between critique and empathy. She unveils the predatory nature of MLMs while also acknowledging the vulnerability and victimhood of those caught in their web. With heartfelt stories from former MLM consultants and solid research, she paints a comprehensive and damming picture of the industry while keeping things relatable and down-to-earth. And man, some of the anecdotes she shares are downright catty. I always figured that the social world of MLMs was very high school, it's sad to see that confirmed. I found myself immersed in Paulson's narrative, finishing the book in a couple of days. I did also catch myself feeling a certain amount of ire toward Paulson. It is very frustrating to know that she knows how awful this is and continues with the company. Although certain topics and events towards the end felt rushed, the impact of the book remained powerful.

Hey, hun, I hate MLMs.

I suppose I should identify my own bias before starting this review. I hate MLMs. I think they take advantage of people (mostly women) who are in various states of distress. They don't make their lives better and they don't make them rich. Sure, maybe one or two make some money but the vast majority get caught in a cycle of chasing the money they already lost. I could go on, but it would be easier to just read Hey, Hun by Emily Lynn Paulson.

This book does something a lot of anti-MLM documentaries don't. This book feels like a day by day walk-through of the soul-crushing life of a "consultant" for an MLM. I have not come across something which so thoroughly explains how even the people who seem to be winning in an MLM are still being victimized. Sure, most of us know that MLMs are bad, but did you know the "free" car many of them tout is far from free. Paulson explains how the car, like many of aspects of the glamorous MLM life, are really just another way to lose money.

Another aspect is the emotional manipulation rampant in this culture and how the people within it are often brainwashed and feel trapped when they start to see the light. This may be the most effective part of the narrative. Paulson is not a crusader. She knows and admits openly that she benefited significantly from her experience. However, she actively avoids criticizing the people within MLMs. They are victims and perpetrators. The system is on trial in this book.

There are other less successful narrative threads. We know MLMs are very white. The connection between this and white supremacy is not discussed enough to feel fully fleshed out. The pandemic politics discussion at the end of the book feels a bit rushed and tacked on when it could probably be eliminated entirely. These are minor quibbles when considering how much the book gets right.

(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and Row House Publishing. The full review will be posted to HistoryNerdsUnited.com on 5/30/2023.)

“This is the pretty much true, absolutely ridiculous, definitely catty story of my life in an MLM, but it's more than that. It's also about how MLMs operate, their role in the lives of suburban women across the United States, and the belief systems,
systemic racism, and white supremacy that course through their trainings, marketing, and one-on-one interactions.”

Author combines both her personal experience as a former MLM member and research/informational background on MLMs!

I was pulled in right away, I love learning about cults and MLMs (which are culty) so this was right up my alley. I enjoyed the interesting discussions on the faux feminism that MLMs typically display, the subliminal religious messaging, and their use of white feminism in upholding white supremacy and the patriarchy.

Paulson’s raw honesty in telling her story was well done and difficult to read at times. She discusses how she was part of the problem when recruiting others, her issues dealing with alcoholism, and reflecting back on her experience. I think she did a great job also discussing her place of privilege and the privilege in general of women in MLMs as they’re typically made up of white, upper-middle class, thin, and able bodied women. I was also glad to see that Paulson remains neutral when discussing MLMs because as she shows, it’s easy for anyone to be manipulated into joining and it’s not helpful to blame people that join.

Clearly well researched as well as personal which made for a fantastic balance of being informative, well-paced, and emotional! I highly recommend for anyone who’s interested in cults or learning about MLMs; any fans of the Lularich documentary will enjoy!

Rating: 4.5 stars

Having been a consultant in two MLMs in the last 15 years and bought from countless MLMs over the years, this read was totally captivating. In my time in those two MLMs, I mostly had great experiences. I have seen most of the cult-like behavior that Paulson describes in her book and suffered the usual fate of a consultant of running up credit card bills for very little profit, if any. She doesn't specifically call out any particular MLMs, but discusses the problematic behavior across the board. She wraps up the last chapter by offering advice for those trapped in an MLM or what to say to a friend or family member that seems trapped. Interesting and informative.

A necessary read for anyone who has wondered if they really can be a #bossbabe on their own terms, or has received the inevitable message from someone you haven't spoken to in decades. Emily shares the good, the bad, and the incredibly predatory and ugly (but critical) parts to being a part of an MLM or direct sales company. Even if you've never been interested in joining one before, you likely know someone who has (and failed, because the stats don't lie), and this book will open your eyes to the process.

This was way more intense and personal than I was anticipating, although I'm not familiar with the author from other work. I do think she does an excellent job breaking down how hegemonic culture dictates the actions of MLMs but some of the revelations about addiction were a strange juxtaposition.

Hey, Hun takes a look into the cult like dynamics of an MLM. It’s an easy read but it was a strange experience to scroll through social media (while reading) and see old acquaintances using the tactics she describes.

I really wanted to like this but could not get into it. I think the style was not a fit for me. Thanks for the opportunity to read it.

Fabulous, highly recommend! In a culture where 'Girl Bosses' and MLM's seemingly await you at every corner, Paulson peels back the surface and exposes much of the dark side of these businesses. As someone who is exhausted by 'boss babe' culture, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book!

Hey, Hun; Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing by Emily Lynn Paulson is a delightful book that belongs on every library shelf! Funny and timely - exposing this cult behavior for what it is. I felt so lucky to get a copy for myself! I have shared on my goodreads, bookstagram, and booktok!

A captivating dive into the intersections of wealth, class, privilege, and social motivation. Emily Lynn Paulson has done a masterful job of telling her own story of life in an MLM while also telling the truth about why so many women fall prey to the siren song of belonging to and MLM scheme. I couldn’t put it down, and Emily provided a lot of empathy and anger to the way I feel about MLM’s and the women stuck inside them now.

I was interested in this book because I wanted to get another look at MLMs from someone on the inside. I have someone close to me who has been in one for over 10 years. At first I supported it, and then I started to grow frustrated and embarrassed with certain things I was seeing (the toxic positivity, attributing any personal success to the “business” and blaming themselves for taking too long to level up, being taught to hustle and use every opportunity to sell even though that wasn’t their nature), and then as I started bringing up my concerns they were mostly brushed off at first but there was still room for conversation.

As I started to get more uncomfortable with this and I started to feel like they were turning from a victim to a perpetrator, our relationship grew strained and it’s now at the point where I refrain from talking about it to save what we have.

I turned to the anti-MLM videos and message boards, but something I’ve noticed is that while there can be camaraderie amongst people who have left MLMs and people who have had relationships impacted by them, there’s also a lot of disdain for the people in them and it can feel deeply shaming.

Rather than try to help people avoid them or get out, sometimes they feel more like delighting in people’s ignorance and behaviour resulting from indoctrination into the MLM mindset, which seems antithetical to what I think we should be doing if we really care about people.

I’m so unbelievably angry about how the MLM life has changed this person, their relationships with others, and with me—and I’ve certainly had moments of expressing that to them (which doesn’t always come out in the best way), but I’ve also learned that trying to fight all the things they’ve been told with anger, judgement, and blaming doesn’t help. (My advice would be to try to learn this before you are labelled a suppressive [I mean unsupportive!] person.) It isn’t just a job; their identity is tied up with the MLM, so attacking the MLM is like attacking them.

All that to say, I do appreciate that this book is a more neutral entry point than what I’ve seen so far. The author has been there herself and understands how smart, well-meaning people get involved in something that can end up doing a lot of damage—often to themselves, and sometimes to people they recruit and their family and friends. I think that’s the thing people seem to forget when we’re looking in from the outside.

There are reasons why people join… it’s marketed as an opportunity, a way to either make some extra money, help you when you’re in a tough spot (which is extremely predatory since most people will spend more than they get out of it), or give you a sense of achievement and feel like you’re more than a mom. You probably don’t realize exactly what you’re getting into when you sign up. You might decide you’ll just do it for the discount, but then you’re encouraged to do more and are rewarded for it, which feels good. You might honestly believe that you’re helping people and be trained to dismiss any suggestion that it could actually be doing the opposite. It’s a way to make connections and minimize guilt for spending time away from your family, to minimize guilt for spending money on trips and conferences, because it pushes you to achieve more for your business and because you’re told that you’ve earned it. You feel empowered (if you’re doing well). If you’re not, or you’re starting to have misgivings, you’re put so much into it that it would be a failure to leave it behind—not to mention the friendships you might be giving up.

The problem for me was that I wasn’t quite sure who this book was for. Learning about the structure of the MLM, the conferences and insider info could be interesting to someone who isn’t really sure what goes on beyond those Facebook posts and direct messages. But even then, there was a lot of repetition after awhile. There were some great quotes about meritocracy and empowerment, but when I was collecting them at the end I realized that a lot of it was the same thing.

For me, I appreciated the viewpoint of someone at the top because it helped me to remember that it is much bigger than one person and even gave me hope that my person will likely someday exit somehow and things might get better.

At first I wondered if I might be able to suggest it to my person if they were at a point where they were somewhat open, but while there are some great resources and reasoned pushback on some of those MLM talking points, there were also some statements that I could see putting their guard up and rejecting the whole thing because it veers into making fun of the people in it. There were also some uncomfortable comments about “not being able to bang a guy who quit his job for this”, i.e., making fun of the idea of “retiring your husband”—not because it’s not sustainable long-term or that it further entrenches you in the MLM, but because it makes your husband less masculine and attractive if they’re not working/working for the MLM?

And still, the author tries to toe the line to be more neutral again towards the end, which felt a little strange to me after an entire book talking about how they’re predatory and can destroy relationships, impact finances, spread misinformation, foster conformity, discourage critical thinking, and how they’re a vehicle for white supremacy… which I really wish had been explained a little more deeply because by the end (especially when they discussed their own political leanings) it started to feel more like a buzzword they decided to lean into even though I fully agree with it.

To be more understanding of and keeping relationships with the people in MLMs I understand, but to say that she doesn’t hate MLMs and that she was encouraging people who were joining other MLMs towards the end of her time there was confusing to me. I’m not entirely confident about the timeline, but it seemed that she started questioning and started to disengage for about a year, and then it took another year of not “working the business” and just letting the paycheques come in before she decided to terminate (though it sounded like she was going to just wait it out). I’m not sure if she started to realize their predatory nature and all of the systemic problems with them while she was still with the MLM or after she left.

My understanding was that she didn’t actually feel that strongly against the MLM. Her close friends and their husbands talk about its cultish tactics and lose their rose-coloured glasses, but to me it still felt like she was separating herself from the harm she was continuing to do by attending their events and making a profit off of all of the people below her.

She does talk about some of her guilt and trying to reconcile with some of the people she recruited or became distanced from, but then there are also a lot of justifications at the same time. I wanted to give her grace because I can understand that there might be shame and needing to adjust to all of the things that change after exiting an MLM, but the last few chapters somewhat blunted the points that she made at the beginning of the book because it almost felt like she was leaning into this anti-MLM stance for the purposes of writing a book.

So I do feel like this book is probably interesting to those who don’t have a lot of knowledge of the inside workings of a MLM and its culture, and I think that for people who are distant enough that it can be a strong argument for disengaging or staying far away to begin with. I hoped it would be because she was high up in the company herself and understands the draw, but I’m not sure if it would be effective for those who are deeply entrenched in the culture and committed personally and financially. I’m still hopeful that people will continue talking about it though and offering a supportive and non-judgemental community for those who get out.

Hey, Hun is a non-fiction memoir-like book where Paulson describes her time in an MLM company. Paulson was one of the very small group of people who finds success in multi level marketing, but many of their claims - ("You'll make great friends! You can work as little or as much as you'd like!!) were not as true as she expected.

Ultimately, Paulson's book is good, and includes a lot of very damning evidence to support the general ick many people feel about MLMs. My only gripe is that it's a little long-winded - needing some serious editing to make Paulson's points, which are well-researched, more concise.

An excellent choice for anyone who gets caught up in the chaos of MLM drama. A fun perspective of someone who sees the downfalls and through the glittery appeal of making a quick fortune - the enticing promise of MLMs.

This was a fascinating look into MLMs and their predatory practices. I appreciated how the author was open about how she got hooked into one and what came from that. I think this’ll be a good non-fiction for someone who isn’t an MLM fan or wants to better understand how these companies work.
I did find some of it to be long and repetitive.