This is a fascinating look at how deeply ingrained the "seven deadly sins" are in our society's understanding of goodness, even if you don't engage with Christianity, and particularly for expectations of women. It's a really thought-provoking book that crams a lot of ideas into this framework. It's at its strongest, in my opinion, when more academic and history-focused. It lost me in the more personal spiritual beliefs, although I still found them interesting. Overall a really engaging read that will change your understanding of "goodness".

Uses an ancient Christian moral framework to examine the societal and interpersonal pressures placed on women to self-sacrifice for approval. Powerful and insightful, leaving me with lots to think about.

This book felt way too dense to talk about feminism and I didn't finish it after reading one chapter.

I really enjoyed this. I thought the framework of “dismantling” the seven deadly sins was an interesting way to unpack the feminist issues mentioned. I don’t think the author said anything groundbreaking, but, I think this would be an important read if you haven’t read anything similar!

I have underlined SO MUCH of this book. It is paradigm shifting, shocking, tender, revolutionary. Elsie takes time to dig through significant history, relevant research and current conversations on top of her personal experiences. I feel like I’ll read this over and over through time to absorb all the really important opportunities for deconditioning

A moving read that takes you through many of the ways that we as women conform ourselves to society’s (and the patriarchy’s) expectations. So much in this book rang true.

I'm obsessed with this book. The writing is accessible and clear and Loehman lays out bit by bit how women are forced to be 'on their best behavior' and how our behavior is policed. I enjoyed reading it and think about it weekly. It honestly changed my perspective on so many things.

As a frequent reader of Elise Loehnen’s substack newsletter and a guilty enjoyer of Goop Lab on Netflix, which Loehnen co-starred in as Goop’s former Chief Content Officer, I was very excited for On Our Best Behavior. Centered on the 7 deadly sins and the insidious ways they impact women, On Our Best Behavior is a thorough and engaging exploration of modern womanhood through this seldom-considered lens. ‘Behavior’ is at its best when Loehnen is framing her exploration through the lens of her personal experience, but unfortunately these moments are too few and far between. Instead, it suffers from the plight of many nonfiction books in that it heavily references and regurgitates works that came before it, too infrequently adding anything new. It feels as though Loehnen was eager to assert herself as more than an ex-Goop employee, and she’s certainly done that, but at the cost of some personality that could have made On Our Best Behavior shine. 3*.

Thank you to The Dial Press and NetGalley for providing this e-arc.

Not a bad book but I guess I was expecting something much deeper, with more historical and philosophical insights which I didn’t ultimately get. However, the author does talk a lot about her own experiences and those of other women, which I found very relatable. I’m also not much aware of the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins, so I definitely learnt quite a bit.

Overall, it just wasn’t the kind of the expecting and what I got was not entirely new material.

WOW. I read this over the course of a weekend and have bought my own copy to write all over and recommended it to all my like-minded friends. A beauty!

I picked this up thinking it was going to be quick read about bad habits women have picked up as part of our desire to constantly people please. Boy was I wrong. This smart, insightful book was filled with a mix of the author's own experiences and well-laid out research. Instead of rushing through it, I savored each chapter/sin and examined my own behavior and beliefs before moving on to the next. Highly recommend!

I was excited about this book and then it quickly became a book I only continued reading to provide an adequate criticism.

The book is written for women, but truly this is for privileged white women who think that being a woman is the ultimate uniter in struggle.

It was very white and euro-centric, but even if that is what you're going for, she fails to acknowledge the experience of other women who look like her.

Writing style: This very much reads like "content" and not actual writing. The author has not transitioned properly into writing for books.


It's a shame such an interesting concept has been wasted on this.

On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good is all about examining the pressure women are put under by society. It is written through the lens of the Seven Deadly Sins. In case you are not aware the Seven Deadly Sins are: pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth. Each of these play a key role in making women feel like they should never be "too much".

As I was reading this, I nodded my head multiple times. Author Elise Loehnen writes in a style that pulls the reader while also forcing them to think critically. She uses the tools that are often used to teach us (fairy tales, myths, folklore, history and religion) in order to analyze and explains how each play a role in the overall philosophy of the Seven Deadly Sins. The overall majority of these texts encourages women to ignore their desires because their desires are dangerous. This book is an argument against that idea and instead is encouraging women to own their desire and actually experience life. Experiencing life is not a sin!

As I was reading this, I nodded my head multiple times. Author Elise Loehnen writes in a style that pulls the reader while also forcing them to think critically. She uses the tools that are often used to teach us (fairy tales, myths, folklore, history and religion) in order to analyze and explains how each play a role in the overall philosophy of the Seven Deadly Sins. The overall majority of these texts encourages women to ignore their desires because their desires are dangerous. This book is an argument against that idea and instead is encouraging women to own their desire and actually experience life. Experiencing life is not a sin!

While I am hesitant to regard anything associated with Gwyneth Paltrow as thoughtful or good quality, it seems the research was done here, and I think many women can see themselves in these pages. It's incredibly validating to see our feelings and stories backed up by statistics - we're not just imagining it. It really does suck.

(Some of the content is a little too woo-woo, even for me. And while it's beautiful to think about, it's not super helpful. It doesn't necessarily mean anything in this modern world we live in now.)

The real kicker though is what do we do now? While this could be eye opening for some, it unfortunately isn't for many of us. We know it sucks. So now maybe a few more people know that it sucks. But what do we DO? In the conclusion, Elise mentions that she's loathe to suggest we DO anything, as we already do so much.
But sadly that means nothing will change, as it's unlikely enough men will read about the plight of women and choose to move toward middle ground. So we're back where we started. Now what?

On Our Best Behaviour pitches sinning as a disempowering concept and details how each of the sins cause us to deny ourselves something vital.

It explains how the seven (originally eight) deadly sins were chosen, how religion and patriarchy has responded to them, and how the shame they make us carry still effects us today.

A really interesting read for the modern feminist. For those who enjoy light critical analysis.

I wish footnotes were at the bottom of each page instead of condensed at the end of chapters. I just didn’t read them because I was no longer in the moment of a specific idea.

This book vacillated between non-fiction and memoir which made it difficult to invest in either.

The premise - FASCINATING. I was hoping this would be more informative. It felt introductory.

If you haven’t thought much about this question, feminism, or women’s role in society, this is worth the read.

A well-written and thought-provoking book about how core attitudes about what makes for a decent human are used as weapons against women's happiness and success. Using the framework of the seven deadly sins, Loehnen illustrates how, throughout history, they have been used against women in order to shame them into denying their basic wants and needs. And this isn't just man-driven. Women have also been conditioned to pull down the tall poppies.

In Loehnen's chapter on envy, she discusses how women will develop a visceral hate for a woman they know, not because that woman did something wrong, but because she did something brave or different, and by doing so, threatens the pack. She says the women who grate on our nerves are generally telling us what we want and we need to listen to that.

This book helps us see our unconscious self-restrictions and also helps us better perceive how we tear down instead of celebrate the women who beat their own path and open that pathway to a happier life for other women to follow. Well worth the read.

I have to say, I was drawn into this book by the cover: it's so evocative and really conveys the discussion going on inside. This discussion is an interesting one. Not new by any means. How does our culture influence us, even mold us, as women? How does religion? These are well known, longstanding questions. But I still found the framing, within the seven deadly sins, an interesting perspective to add to these questions.

I really wanted to love this book. If you're completely new to feminism or new to personal growth, this book may be eye opening. But, if you've done any reading or reflection unpacking toxic patriarchy or how society shapes us -- while there are some interesting researched tidbits, and the framing is an interesting premise -- I couldn't finish reading this book because it didn't cover much new ground. The book also had an awkward back and forth between analytical writing and memoir style writing.

This book is filled with concepts that encourage one to break down the barriers in their life and life the life they want. It challenges all the things we were taught growing up and encourages you to life the life you want, not the one you think you should live.