Done Being Single is a personal memoir of Treva Brandon Scharf's experiences playing the field. She is open and honest about her trials and judgments about her partnerships. Her intimate relationships exemplify conventional courtship through high school and college. Yet she hits a roadblock after leaving her educational community to find her place in the world and the dating community. Struggling to maintain her independence as a breadwinner, she somehow let her single status amongst couples and partners let her detract from the norms and expectations of society.

In this text, she offers her reflections on successes and failures through many dating outlets. Her family and friends criticize her sole lifestyle. And they give up on her drive and desire to ever get married. With the pressures of the modern world, she gives and takes what is before her. One thing that she always maintains in her voice is an unrelenting drive to succeed. Echoing throughout the memories and recollections, her determination proves success through what she offers her readers.

If a reader can benefit from this text, they must be open about seeking a relationship. Rather than saying, 'oh yeah, that would be nice'. They have got to have the will to get out there. And discover their own completion of singlehood. Despite the challenges people face in today's dating community, she offers great advice at the end of each chapter. Everyone needs a little coaxing to feel better about their intimacy; most of what she offers is proof.

Bold and exposed, Treva uses courage and pride to motivate others. She must be having a really good time with her spouse. So, life has its ups and downs with the trouble in the world. I am sure she will be proud of the other singles she helps being done with it.

Thanks to Treva Brandon Scharf and Greenleaf Book Group Press for this Advanced Reader's Copy.

I’m not sure what I started reading…a self help book? A memoir? I couldn’t even finish this book. There was a lot of repetition and filler. I did appreciate the motto "it's never too late" Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC.

An entertaining and engaging memoir about Treva who lets the reader know that it is never too late to live your best life. The book feels like a self-help book and it’s a humorous biography. Amazing writing and an enjoyable read.


Disclaimer: Thank you NetGalley and Greenleaf Book Group Press for this review copy and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Oof. A little brutal. This was not great. I did not finish this.....memoir? Self-help book? I'm honestly not sure what this was, but this was not for me. I was looking for an interesting, reflective and ultimately hopeful look at a life where singleness features predominantly until later in life. What we get, instead, is an indulgent, wildly surface-level review of self-congratulation and accolades that are wonderful, if true [but maybe are slightly exaggerated? Or...something?]. This book might be lovely for some but really missed the mark for me. As we all know, life is too short to read bad books, so hanging up the towel on this one.

My first 1-star review in a long, long, long time. Thanks to NetGalley for an e-copy of this book in advance, in exchange for an honest review. Pub date: 3.21.23.

I really enjoyed following the author as-she shares with us her personal life her search for love and finally finding the right man and marriage. I laughed I felt for her and really enjoyed.#netgalley #donebeingsingle

ARC from Netgalley

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect going into this book, but I found it very insightful!
It’s funny and very honest in the memoir aspects!
Now just got to hope I find someone! 😅

Part self-help book, part memoir, Treva explains her trials and tribulations in the dating game before getting married in her late 40s/early 50s to the man of her dreams. She takes readers on a familiar journey of slogging through dating apps and profiles to find the one for you. Told with both humor and a friendly tone, I found this book to be a fun read, to the point that I forgot it is supposed to help me with the situation of "Done Being Single." To be honest, I enjoyed this book more as a storytelling adventure than as a self-help book, but Treva provides great tips, combined with personal stories, if that is what you are looking for!

This genre is actually quite outside of my usual comfort zone . . . yet as something of a later bloomer myself (and yes still single at almost 30 don't come for me!) this one immediately interested me.

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised that the writing drew me in from the very first sentence and I couldn't put it down . . . I just wanted to hear more of her stories and anecdotes of disastrous dates.

It isn't totally a self-help guide but also not quite a memoir and yet somehow intricately weaves together elements of both resulting in a touching, insightful and witty read.

I loved the conversational tone of the writing and the many humorous tales (and nicknames) of her past failed dates. I found it extremely easy to read and connect with. I also loved all the many references and quotes which are included through out the book which shaped and influenced her own experiences.

Honestly. this one had no business being as good as it actually was. 10/10 would recommend!

My overall rating : 4.5 / 5 Stars.

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Greenleaf Book Group and author Teva Brandon Scharf for the opportunity to enjoy this e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This book was great. Treva Brandon Scharf did an incredible job analyzing the deadlines we put on life and turning them on their heads with a solid dose of humor to go with it. It was an enjoyable read, entertaining at times, and enlightening at other. As a young adult in their twenties, it was so refreshing to hear her perspective. This book is definitely one I will think about as I work to make the most out of my life in the coming decades.

I didn't realize I sent a request for this book but what a pleasant surprise! I enjoyed the wisdom in experience; the anecdotes and insight shared were encouraging and valid.

Sometimes you come across a book that is exactly what you need, and this book was it for me. Treva Brandon Scharf gives an honest and funny story of her life as a single woman through her 20s, 30s, and 40s. This book is part self-help, part memoir, and Scharf weaves the two together beautifully. She is raw and open about her past while being both kind and stern to her reader. Now, I can’t wait to listen to her podcast!

I found it entertaining even if there's a lot of pop psychology and not a lot of useful advice.
Many thanks to the publisher for this arc, all opinions are mine

Cute advice book with a heavy hand of satire about the pros and issues with being a “late bloomer” to marriage and love. Lots of good insight from not only a self-proclaimed late bloomer, but backed by academic research and her own professional experience. Overall, relatable storytelling that feels like you’re sitting down with the author as an old friend, mid-convo, that provides worthwhile advice and exercises to help readers.

Scharf's witty yet emotional voice gives a lively energy to this book reminding people of all ages that it's never too late to have the live and love you've always searched for.

The writing in this book was approachable (with a warning up front about liberal use of "f-bombs"), and sources were well footnoted, which I appreciate. These elements earned the two stars given.

Nonetheless, I was disappointed by this book. There was not a lot of content. There was a lot of repetition. And quite often that was pointed out (as if the reader could possibly miss it) by the use of the introductory phrase, “As I said . . . “ Also, it seemed that if one analogy to make a point is good, three must be better! (I disagree). I believe this would have a lot more punch (and more readers) if the repetition were drastically reduced. I would much rather read 40 pages of content than 120 pages that reads like filler and includes a lot of the popular self help / validation tropes of the past 30 years or so whose sound-bites we’ve already absorbed.

If you applied the material more broadly as a general self-acceptance book, that might be more helpful (if you' keep reading despite the redundancy).. And for some segment of the population feeling (sadly) pressured because they are not married by a certain age, the very existence of this book with a message "it's never too late" may offer some comfort.

The writing style is great and engaging! Unfortunately, I found the book horribly lacking in any practical advice and fairly insulting. This woman wasn't a late bloomer. She just waited until her fifties to get married. Shock! Horror!

One of the early chapters begins with deeming anyone who waits until they're in their twenties to have sex (as the author did) as being a control freak. In a book for late bloomers. Quite the way to isolate those who may be blooming a bit later than you, and essentially implying that if you have not had sex by a certain age, it is because you are controlling, have a religious hangup, have a sexual hangup, or are simply a prude.

This book is a look back at the single life of Treva Scharf, the author, a memoir of love lost and found. She is a self-described late bloomer, married for the first time at age 51. The book chronicles many of her bad relationships as a young (and not so young) single woman looking for love as well as her futile attempt to have a child, when she realized if she waited until she was married to have children, it may never happen.

According to the hype, the book is supposed to be funny and humorous. I found it neither. While some of her stories were amusing, there were no laugh out loud moments. The book expounds a lot of “pop psychology” popular many decades ago, such as attachment theory, the law of attraction, evolutionary psychology, love languages, and the imposter syndrome, along with a lot of astrology thrown in for good measure. The author appears narcissistic in nature, thinking everyone wants to know all about her.

Mrs. Scharf claims to be an athlete, a fitness professional, a marathoner, and a dating and life coach. But she turns around and admits she drinks heavily, eats unhealthy food, and smokes pot on a regular basis. I know no serious athlete who engages in those activities.

There is a lot of name dropping in the book. She never fails to mention all the famous people and celebrities she has met and are her friends.

Much of her advice is also contradictory. In one chapter she says one should not have sex on the first date, then in the next chapter she says had she ever met a shy and introverted guy, she would have ripped off her clothes right then and there. In one chapter she said a single mother must put her children first, which I agree with, but then in the next chapter she says a single mother must make their date a priority over everything else in her life and over all other people in her life.

Much of her behavior is just not realistic as well. She said immediately after losing her virginity she called her father to tell him. He congratulated her and then sent her roses. Who acts like that? No one I know.

Much of her advice is simply rehashed and old fashioned “Rules” advice from the 80’s. No wonder she was still single at age 50. Her solution to every problem seemed to be go smoke some pot. She turned to it every time she is in a crisis.

The final issue I will mention is the language used in the book. There is a LOT of cursing and foul language. To her credit, the author does mention early on to warn the reader, but by that time, the reader has already spent their money and bought the book. The book would have been much better without the filthy language.

I will give the book a couple of stars simply for the entertainment value of some of the stories, but as far as helpful dating advice is concerned, none here.

This book lists itself as self-help/dating advice and part memoir. It is actually a lot memoir! I do appreciate. that Treva so candidly shares her life struggles with dating, a struggle that many women these days face. I also like that she inspires women to keep trying no matter what age you are. Although Treva has dated many frogs to get her prince, it doesn't mean she is an expert to give dating advice.

First, she criticizes online dating, yet she quotes OK Cupid statics. For many women of today's generation online dating has worked well especially during pandemic times. One big issue I have with this book is that it doesn't go deep enough. Although it claims to be a self-help book, it does not offer any real alternatives to online dating such as you would find in a Patty Stanger book or other dating advice books. I would say one is better off reading advice from Steve Harvey, John Gray or Nick Boothman (yes, all men, ironic).

At times this book seemed to do the opposite of its intention which seemed despairing, and other times it had TMI (too much information), much more than we needed. I also found the interviews with her friends a waste of time. Who are they to give advice? I can also ask my friends and family about any topic I write about; doesn't mean they are experts on the subject. As one reviewer put it the dating advice is unoriginal and recycled! In fact, much of the advice she gives comes from others, yet it doesn't delve deep enough for a proclaimed self-help book. such as you will find in Patti Stanger's book, Become Your Own Matchmaker, which offers great dating advice and alternative places to meet singles outside of online apps.

I think for some this book will definitely help as it may be just what they need to inspire them to get off the couch and get out there! Unlike another reviewer, I think Treva's advice to get therapy could prove beneficial in all aspects of life. Perhaps the person is missing out on love because they fail to see things, they may be doing that is hindering them from successfully connecting to a partner or mate. Sometimes a person may need a therapist, life coach, counselor, pastor, priest or dating expert to help guide them in areas that they continue to be unsuccessful in. I will say at times the author did appear to give off "KNOW IT ALL VIBES," when she is far from an expert and there are multiple ways to arrive at the same destination or goal, not just the Treva Brandon Scharf way! Yes, she finally arrived at her Prince, but he was on Facebook, which when I last checked was still an online social media forum and app; thus, there is a bit of a contradiction there for someone who so starkly opposes usings apps and online dating.

I would like to thank Netgalley and Greenleaf book Group Press for this eBook in exchange for an honest review.

This was a fun read! I'm not 100% sure it's a mandatory library purchase, but it is definitely a good addition for systems with strong new adult readership

Interesting take on relationship advice and self-worth. I’m not sure I agree with everything this book is propounding but it’s well-written and interesting. It’ll have an audience out there.