**Thank you to Netgalley for the e-copy in exchange for an honest review**

5 ⭐️

don't mind me casually crying my heart out at 2am because this book wrecked me.

when I saw this book on netgalley I knew it would be sad but I didn't expect it to touch me so deeply. It took a long time for me to read because of life but honestly every time I went back to it I plunged IN. This is such an easy book to get into, it's so well and beautifully written and I'd really like to thank the author for it.

Cold Girls tells the story of friendship, of love, of youth, with a soundtrack so beautiful you will cry. I don't want to say much about this plot honestly like just read the damn book please and thank you.

slight note but important for me, this is one of the best representation of anxiety, panic attacks, and emotional/physical self harm I've read and it really touched me, thank you for making this honest and real. (also do really check the trigger warnings at the beginning of the book, take care)

"I'd give you the sky, but that wouldn't be enough."

CW: Drugs, Alcohol/Underage drinking, Car Accident, Death, Death of a friend, Grieving, attempted suicide (not intentional), panic attacks, counselling, PTSD.

I would just like to say a big, wholehearted fuck you to Maxine Rae for making me bawl my absolute eyes out while reading this book. I mean this from deep down within my heart... I'll be sending you my therapy bills for what your beautiful, masterpiece of a book did to me.

I didn't expect a lot out of this book. I thought the cover was pretty and when I saw the LGBT+ tag and read the blurb, I quickly applied for an arc, and I am so grateful to have received it.

The intimacy that is shown between Rory and Liv is so realistically beautiful. They are there for each other through the best and worst times until... they're not.

Rory wished it was her driving that night. But even through that, she swears she didn't mean to overdose on pills. She just wanted to sleep and forget.

She needed to forget.

In a masterful juggling between events before and after the 'Wost Night' occurred, Maxine Rae unravels this tale of tragedy, friendship, love and so much more.

I am genuinely speechless and have sat here for a while, thinking of how to properly express my love for this book, but no words would be enough.

Please, go buy (or go to your local library) and read this book if you are in the mental space to do so!

Cold Girls by Maxine Rae.
4.5/5 stars.

This is a story about how a young girl struggles to fit in with the people around her, all to realize her true potential when the right person enters her life. When Liv comes along, our main character, Rory, embarks on a journey full of discoveries, of love and identity. She finally found her person, her soulmate and true friend. Until one night, everything is taken away from her, in the blink of an eye. Now Rory feels more alone and displaced in this world than she ever did before. Will she ever find her way back to herself?

If you want a fast-paced, queer contemporary novel with lovable characters, this is it. I loved this story. I found that I could relate to a lot of the ways Rory dealt with trauma and pain. Maxine Rae did a great job capturing the way trauma affects the body and the way we function in everyday life. The only reason I didn’t give this 5 stars, is because of how she wrote a lot of the dialogue. Rae used the word “like” way too much, which broke the flow for me and would in some cases downplay the emotions of a scene. Other than that, the story is deep, honest and raw. I highly recommend you read this. The book is finally out, so go check it out!

A quote that hit me:
“She knows that I took up less space, that I had fewer words. That there was less of me to lose. If I died, the hole in the world could be stitched up fast. Nothing like the gaping trench she left. It should have been me.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🎧🎶🚬🍻🌈

Oh my lawd. This had me on an emotional roller coaster. So this book has A LOT of triggers, including teen death, teenage drinking/drugs, attempted suicide, depression, PTSD, and S/A. But if you are okay with all that, and want a book that makes you cry, and is so raw and real, then this is the book for you.

This is a well-written book about what it is like to lose your best friend/first crush in a tragic accident that you survived. The story goes between before and after the Worst Night, and you get a feel for Rory and how her friendship evolved with Liv. You get to see how she adjusts to life after the Worst Night and how she copes with her grief.

It is real and emotional, and hard to put down because you want to know how Liv died. You want to know if Rory's questioning sexuality is explored, and how she feels about it all. You want to know if everything works out for her in the end. It's engaging, heartbreaking, and just beautiful.

Thank you to Netgalley and Flux Books for the copy of the ebook. This review is left voluntarily.

I am honestly conflicted about this one.. I thought I could deal with all the pop culture references in this until the author mentioned a "vintage silver iPod". I guess technically iPods are vintage now, but not the silver one. This book does tend to be written for only today's YA generation.

I liked a lot of this book but there were some cringey things.
- What Rory's mom says to her after saying she could see her boobs on Thanksgiving... Gross. It was unnecessary and completely took me out of the story.
- The shortening of the word vomit.
- All the talk about going to the bathroom. I get mentioning it once but it was A LOT.

There were times when the author wrote these really great, lyrical moments and then many times when she didn't out as much care into it. It broke the story up. The ending of the book was written so nicely that is solidified my opinion of the author's writing.
She was absolutely capable of writing something big and beautiful but this was almost that. There were so many truly good parts in this book but there was just too much for me to really feel like it was done right.
I do think I would read more from this author in the future if she branched into adult fiction but her YA work might just not be for me. I could just be really picky or too old for this one. If you're a YA reader, or you feel like lot of pop culture references won't bug you, check this one out.

(Thank you to Netgalley and North Star Editions for this ARC.)

Maxine Rae gives readers an intimate look into what happens after your best friend dies. It is a lot more complicated than that one sentence makes it as it is in real life. I will give readers a heads up that there is suicidal ideation, attempts, non-consent sexual activities, drug use, and peer bullying. Being a teenager isn’t easy and Rae does not shy away from all of the pressures they face today.

I have to admit that when I first started reading Cold Girls that I wasn’t a fan of the editing layout of the story. It took awhile for me to get into the groove of it. At the end of the book I still wasn’t a fan of it because even though the chapters are labeled you have to readjust and think okay what has happened and what hasn’t happened yet. I understand the thought process behind laying out the chapters this way, I’m just not a fan of it.

There are so many lies and secrets in this book. I was face palming many times (chuckle). Rae definitely takes us to the dark side and let’s us sit in it. I do wish there had been a bit of expansion with Saige’s experience as it is mentioned throughout the story and I assumed it was due to the impact of Rory’s incidents and decisions. Rory does have an intimate moment with her other sister, but Saige is also on a downward spiral and I wish there had been more closure there.

Cold Girls can get intense, but it is supposed to be intense. Losing your best friend is. I don’t want to give anything else away about the story, but Rae nails the emotional impact. Be prepared, but definitely take the ride down the rabbit hole with Rory.

It's a nice book, with diverse and queer characters and plenty of mental health rep. It's an easy, enjoyable, but emotional read. I liked the switch between the before and after of the Worst Night. It really builds up the story. The PTSD representation was well done. I did find it a little difficult to connect to the fmc, which means her detachment to the world around her was very wel written.

There are unfortunately also things I didn't like, which brings the overall rating down to 3. Which for me means that I liked the book and that I see it's potential, but some things could have been handled better.

* The WOC love interest felt sometimes stereotypically written by a white author. Sometimes Liv was used as a mouthpiece to address social and/or racial injustices. Often without there being a real conversation about those issues. This definitely could have been done better.
* The numbered tattoo on the wrist; this is a huge nope for me. I know it's supposed to be a reference to Stranger Things, but the show got their inspiration somewhere to. It's give holocaust vibes and that's not for me. It's also something I feel could easily be changed.

“It's not my fault for being the one who survived”

Written by Maxine Rae, Cold Girls is a story about grief that follows a teenager named Rory before and after the night her best friend Liv died.
What I particularly enjoyed about the book is the way it was narrated: By using flashbacks, the reader can make a parallelism between Rory's life before and after the accident, getting an insight of the main character's feelings. As a consequence, it is possible to have an understanding of her reactions and decisions. What is more, the author's writing style makes the reading more smoothly.
Were I to change something of this book, it would be the way it is advertised. This novel is not a romance, it's a story about grief, friendship and self-discovery.
All in all, I highly recommend this novel. However, it's important to check the content warnings before reading the book.

CW: death, self-harm, panic attacks, PTSD, car accident, alcohol, drugs, assault

Thank you Flux Books and NetGalley for an ARC of this book.

*Thanks Netgalley, I received a free arc copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*

What. A. Plot.

I really like the way the author was able to write the p.o.v. of the characters, it was an immersive book for me. It was really rough in some parts, especially dealing with the guilt of what happened and how she became self-destructive. Though, as hard as it was, it was a necessary evil for the storyline, so I get it.

I tend to get a little irritated with books that jump back and forth between timelines, but the way this book was written, made it an easy transition for me, that it didn't bother me much. I would reread this book at a later date if i felt like crying, especially towards the end.

This is so… emotionally heavy. Consider yourselves warned!! 😭 It took me quite a while to finish it, but every second I spent reading this book was absolutely worth it!!

𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴 is a genuine and poignant tale about loss, friendship, family and sexuality. It follows an 18-year-old girl named Rory as she goes through the turmoil that comes with surviving from the same accident that killed her best friend, Liv.

In this debut novel, Rae offered a realistic glimpse into what it’s like to deal with loss and trauma. Rory’s experience with grief and mental health issues was represented in a way that is free from any romanticization— it was messy, honest, and utterly gut-wrenching. I admire how the author depicted survivor’s guilt and PTSD with a balance of both factuality and sensitivity. 🤗

Besides that, I appreciate how the protagonist's recovery was written in a manner that is true to life. The healing process is not always linear for most people dealing with psychological trauma. Unlike other YA contemporary novels about mental health, Rory's condition was not magically cured by "romance" which is so refreshing to read.

The book presented therapy in a positive light as well. Psychotherapy is a two-way street. No matter how much psychologists want to help their client, it's no use if the client is not willing to accept help. Treatment requires the participation of both the therapist and the client. I was so worried about how mental health services are going to be portrayed, but this novel did not disappoint!! Maxine Rae captured that exactly and beautifully!! 👏🏻

I also adored the character dynamics in this book, especially the mother-daughter relationship and Rory’s friendship with Stoff and Jem. The alternating narrative from the past and present is such a fitting way to tell this story. I liked the ending— it was impactful and it wrapped everything up nicely.

While this book has its many strengths, I still have a few issues with it. The way this novel was written feels like it’s too young for the young adult demographic. It sounds more like a middle-grade book with heavier and more mature themes. This threw me off so much more than the pop culture references. I didn’t mind the references, but I kind of hoped that they were at least more subtle. 😫 I struggled to fully immerse myself in the story because of that!!

One of my biggest problems is Liv’s character. Liv was introduced as a half-Filipinx character, but I don’t think this aspect of her character was well-represented. Aside from a few mentions of things from Filipino culture, Liv has no traits that made me feel she was of Filipino descent. In fact, I wished she was more fleshed out in general. Liv was portrayed as a classic manic pixie dream girl, and since the story was told from Rory’s perspective, we only got to see the idealized version of her. Besides that, there’s… nothing more to her character.

Nevertheless, I still thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, so I will definitely look forward to more of Maxine Rae's future works. Cold Girls is an authentic, heartbreaking, yet astonishingly life-affirming novel that is bound to bring you tears. Thank you so much NetGalley and North Star Editions for this ARC!! 😍

[This review will also be posted on my bookstagram account by August 10]

────────────────────────
cw: grief, alcohol and drug use, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), survivor’s guilt, self-harm, drug overdose, sexual assault

DNF (did not finish)
- I thought this book showed a great realistic approach to survivors guilt. I loved reading this part of the story and I felt like it was a big reason why I tried to continue reading. There were just too many things I did not like to continue reading. I will be following this author to see what else they write.
- Now onto the things I did not like.
1. Liv was very Manic pixie dream girl. I don’t like the “I’m not like other girls” trope and I find it to be very overused and annoying.
2. I did not like all the popular culture references. I think it is just my personal ick.
3. The stranger things tattoo, please get rid of this in the final draft. Or replace it with something else. The number tattoo is very insensitive and isn’t necessary.
- thank you Net Gallery and North Star Editions for the opportunity to read this arc.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for giving me an e-ARC of this book to review. Sad YA books are my jam and this book didn't disappoint. I loved the flashback chapters intermingled with present day scenes format and the ending felt appropriate for a book aimed at teens.

Title: Cold Girls
Author: Maxine Rae
Publisher: North Star Editions
Publishing Date: Aug 22, 2023
Pages: 352
Genre: YA, LGBTQIA+
Rating: ☆☆☆☆.5 (rounded up to 5)

I am crying and I haven’t stopped.
This book was so emotional. There are a lot of tough subjects so I really highly recommend looking into CWs and trigger warnings before reading- especially since this is categorized as YA.
At first, going back and forth in time really bugged me, but the way that Rae progressed the story really made it make sense early on and I ended up loving the way it was written. I loved how real the story was and how it touched me enough to break my heart. I was literally crying in public places reading this because I just could not choke back the tears- especially towards the last 25% of it.
I really disliked all the pop culture references in the beginning… it was so cringy and annoying and I just couldn’t stand it… but that quickly went away once the story progressed and was more subtle for the rest of the book.
This story was written so carefully and lovingly and I’m just in love with it. I will need to emotionally recover from this for a while, but I would definitely purchase this book and probably re read it again if I felt like crying one day.
Definitely would recommend it, with CWs.

Thank you to NetGalley and North Star Editions for sending this ARC in exchange for an honest review! All opinions are my own.

🏳️‍🌈 Book Review 🏳️‍🌈

Cold Girls by @maxinerae_author

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cold Girls is a story of two best friends who were involved in a accident that unfortunately resulted in the death of one of them. Rory the survivor is then faced with the task of moving on and coming to terms with the loss of her best friend, while also navigating a tumultuous relationship with her mother, and struggles with her mental health.

The book switches between before and after the accident with each chapter. During the before chapters we get to see how they become friends, and how Rory’s feelings began to develop into something more. During the after chapters we see how she is coping with the loss or should I say not coping.

This is a great book about loss, mental health, recovery, and friendship. At times the story did leave me wanting more, but overall I really enjoyed it.

Thanks to NetGalley for an eARC.

In this impressive debut novel, Rae does a pretty good job of capturing a time in life that many of us go through where you don't really feel understood by others - except, if you're lucky, one special person. The friendship between Rory and Liv is certainly intense, and touching a lot of the time, especially when the reader knows about the tragedy that takes place (Rory survives a car accident while Liv doesn't), the narrative scooting back and forwards between before and after this event. It certainly gives a bittersweet tone to much of the reading experience. Rory has to find meaning and deal with survivors' guilt in a world without her best friend, which is obviously painful to say the least, but I thought the ending did bring an uplifting resolution of sorts. One thing stopped me from awarding this five stars - I enjoyed the music and other pop culture references up to a point, but sometimes it felt a little shoehorned in and there to pad out space (like giving us playlists on the page), and a Stranger Things number-on-the-wrist tattoo is problematic for pretty obvious reasons. Still, I enjoyed the book overall and would recommend to any readers from teens onwards.

Wow this book was so incredibly sad.

Thanks to the publisher and netgalley for an e arc.


Rory has a Before. And an After. Before the accident, before Liv died, before Rory took too many sleeping pills... When she was something with someone. Now Rory has to find a way to continue living in the After.

I loved the back and forth between before and after...how we got glimpses into the past and the memories. The relationship between Rory and Liv is so good. Best friends. Soul mates. Each other's person. It is all so incredibly sad.

Rory's arc is really good and I loved all the characters. If you want a book that makes you cry pick this one up.

CW: death, self-harm, panic attacks, PTSD, car accident, alcohol, drugs, assault

This book is actually more of a 3.5 stars.
I am drawn to books that are sad, and this is a book that is brimming with grief and sorrow. The alternating timelines of before and after the accident that kills the MC's best friend and unrequited true love, work well. You're not sure what exactly happened with the crash and you're equally unsure if the MC will recover from it.
I enjoyed the large cast of characters, including the ever-present teen trope of my-parents-just-don't-understand-me people and the leisurely pace. Some of the slangy dialog was a bit much but the author was definitely going for very contemporary. Readers seem divided on the ending but it didn't bother me. It's a teen book full of emotions and emotions are messy. This is an emotionally satisfying first novel by Maxine Rae.
#NetGalley

This was definitely an emotional read and handled the subjects or death and grief very well, I think I would have enjoyed this book more if I’d read it a few years ago rather than now but I still enjoyed it

Actual rating: 4.5

Thanks to Netgalley and North Star Editions for providing me with an early copy in exchange for an honest review.

“My whole body is made up of apologies, thought. Apologies for getting in the way, for taking too long, for not responding.”

Right away I would say this is a perfect read for anyone who is a fan of We Are Okay by Nina LaCour and The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown (although I have to say I loved this one a lot more).
Eighteen-year-old Rory is dealing with an aftermath of a car accident which killed her best friend Liv. The book is told in two timelines; one before the accident which lets us know how Rory and Liv became friends and what was happening between them and one after the accident where we see how Rory is dealing with the loss of her friend. This is a book that fully tackles the process of grief and dealing with survivor’s guilt, and it handles both very well.

Now I usually don’t read other reviews before I write mine but I’m kind of late with my review and I had to remind myself a bit on what happens, so I read a few and I see the main problems that seem be pointed out is the lack of romance. I understand why that would be disappointing, but I also feel like this book and its synopsis never promises you a sapphic romance in the focus. Like you know from the start one of them dies, you know this will be sad. This is more about having the bittersweet possibility of what could have been if there was more time, and the tragic accident didn’t happen. And personally, I eat that up because I knew what I signed myself up for. I also think this book reflects what teenagers are like today very well. Because yeah, you will say and do cringy things, you will make mistakes, you will be self-centred and angry at the whole world.
The only thing I’m not really a fan of are pop culture references. I just don’t like those and I don’t know why they are still included so much mainly because I feel like they don’t resonate much with those outside of certain country’s culture (like me who doesn’t know what is even being referenced 80% time) and I feel in a few years those will age badly anyway and no one will really know of them which is a disservice for a book that has potential to reach different audience in the long run.

For a debut novel Maxine Rae manages to capture grieving teenager’s experience perfectly and build complex relationship between these teenage girls as well as Rory and her mother. She also doesn’t fail to actually make Rory sound like an actual teenager and not the whole ‘how you're doing fellow kids’ which I feel so many YA novels struggle with. Anyways, great read for depressed girlies!

Rory doesn’t want to die. She wants an escape from reality. After being in an accident that killed her best friend, Liv, Rory doesn’t know what to do with herself. The story goes back and forth from the past, before the accident, and the months after. The reader watches how the accident unfolded, the pain of grief, and how to live after loss.

I liked the idea of this story. The idea of losing one of the most important people in your life and learning to move. Instead, this story focuses on Rory isolating herself and self-destructing. Everything from the characters to the story's bare bones just didn’t resonate with me. There are also quite a few issues within the writing that should have been fixed before this book was published (these are included in the con area).

This book is sad, and it ends that way. I am not a big fan of sad books. I like books with a happy ending, certainly when it comes to books with queer characters. The sheer sadness of this book does impact my rating, so if you like sad books, you may enjoy this book more than I did.

Pros
- A realistic look at loss. Healing is hard, and progress isn’t linear.

Cons
- Liv, the dead best friend, has a Stranger Things tattoo. The tattoo is numbers on her wrist. This tattoo is completely insensitive as it resembles tattoos given to those in Nazi concentration camps. This could have easily been taken out of the book or rewritten.
- Liv is depicted as a manic pixie dream girl. She is so different and cool. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks, is teaching herself multiple languages, and has no issue breaking the rules. The character just feels like everything “cool,” even when it makes no sense.
- Liv is the epitome of white feminism. Liv has these “woke” takes throughout the story, but they are incredibly surface-level, and no one ever questions her.
- The teenagers in the book aren’t written well. They are the idea of what a teenager is without any of the nuances.
- The writing can be clunky at times, and the pacing is all over the place.