Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC.

Who Gets Believed? is a book by Dina Nayeri, a former refugee and award-winning author, that explores the fascinating and often disturbing phenomenon of persuasion and performance in various contexts. The book is divided into four parts: The Art of Believability, The Science of Believability, The Ethics of Believability, and The Future of Believability. Each part contains several case studies that illustrate how people can lie, tell the truth, or manipulate others in situations ranging from asylum interviews to emergency rooms to consulting jobs to family life.

The book is not only a personal memoir of Nayeri's own experiences as a refugee and an immigrant, but also a critical examination of our society's views on believability and truth. Nayeri challenges us to question our assumptions about what it means to be believed, why we believe or distrust others, and how we can improve our communication skills and empathy. She also offers insights into the psychological and social factors that influence our perception of reality and our ability to empathize with others.

Who Gets Believed? is a book that will make you think twice before you speak or listen. It is a book that will make you wonder who gets believed in this world, and who doesn't. It is a book that will make you appreciate the power and the responsibility of words. It is a book that will make you want to be more believable yourself.

I wasn’t able to finish reading this. It was too upsetting for me. There was violent descriptions of torture. I understand that this is an important topic and people should be educated on the treatment of refugees but I couldn’t read it.
Thank you to netgalley for providing me with an arc of this book, all thoughts are my own.

Thank you Netgalley for letting me listen to this audiobook. This was a hard read, because of the heavy themes. If you want to read something informative and important, pick this one up.

"Why are honest asylum seekers dismissed as liars? Former refugee and award-winning author Dina Nayeri begins with this question, turning to shocking and illuminating case studies in this book, which grows into a reckoning with our culture’s views on believability. From persuading a doctor that she’d prefer a C-section to learning to “bullshit gracefully” at McKinsey to struggling, in her personal life, to believe her troubled brother-in-law, Nayeri explores an aspect of our society that is rarely held up to the light. For readers of David Grann, Malcolm Gladwell, and Atul Gawande, Who Gets Believed? is a book as deeply personal as it is profound in its reflections on morals, language, human psychology, and the unspoken social codes that determine how we relate to one another."

This was a very interesting read, but a bit confusing from a genre perspective; I was expecting a social science or investigative work, which is is by half, but if I were to fit it into any genre, I'd call it a memoir. Which is not what you'd expect from the title. Certainly not to say that it wasn't compelling and informative, because it was, but it was much more about the author's family and experiences than I was expecting. I will say that the detail into her family's struggles and trauma made me feel like an unwilling voyeur, and I just really hope that they gave their blessing for the story that was told.

I listened to the audio edition, and the narration was good. Not 100% sure why a memoir by an Iranian woman who lives in the USA and France was narrated in an English accent, but that's fine. I do think this book worked well in audio, because of how loosely it's organized into a chronological narrative rather than arranged by topic, which I'd expect of a social science book.

Overall, I think it was good, but not something I'm likely to return to.

This is a tough one to review. Who Gets Believed was definitely one of the most interesting and unique reads I have picked up in quite a while. Half memoir and half exploration of who gets believed in a variety of situations (from patients in the ER, to those claiming asylum, to individuals trying to get mental health services), Nayeri follows her own life experiences in being believed and believing others and peppers in stories of experts in different areas she has spoken with to get more information on how others analyze who is telling the truth. I thought the stream of consciousness style of writing and Nayeri's openness gave this book a true sense of authenticity. One portion that was hard to read was Nayeri's own impression of someone close to her with mental health struggles. She compares mental health struggles to other life situations and struggles to grasp how someone who seemingly has everything can be so tortured internally. This could be a trigger for those living life with mental illness.

*received for free from netgalley for honest review* This was a really interesting and thought provoking read for sure. would buy and recommend.

I found this audiobook to be a bit of a challenge. Part of the reason is that I expected this audiobook/book to be specifically about the refugee crisis. Instead, the author expanded the focus into numerous areas where the title question is attempted to be answered. While I understand the intention behind this, it did lead me to feel about unsettled while reading it, wishing we were more concentrated on fewer topics.

With that said, I thought the book was extremely well-written and I enjoyed the narration. It was interesting to hear the author’s personal experience weaved throughout her well-researched examples of how credibility influences life outcomes and personal well-being.

Thanks to Dreamscape Audio and NetGalley for the advanced listen.

Dina Nayeri has such a distinctive way of writing, both brilliant and bitingly sharp. I was floored by her prior work, The Ungrateful Refugee, and found this book to be an impressive continuation of some of the work that she began in that book.

In this work, Nayeri examines the question of what factors impact whether a person is believed. Nayeri’s exploration of this question stems from her quest to understand why some asylum seekers’ stories are deemed credible and others not by the authorities who have the power to grant asylum status.

However, she deftly weaves in examples from many different parts of life, including medicine and the law and a personal story of belief/disbelief that seems to have fueled Nayeri’s quest to understand this issue more fully. I am impressed by Nayeri’s brain and grateful for the way that she brings the reader along as she plunges down a rabbit hole while trying to make sense of things that she witnesses in life.

As with The Ungrateful Refugee, I appreciated the way that Nayeri combines research and science with personal stories from her life and those that she interviews. The result is a nonfiction book that reads very easily and teaches the reader through memorable examples. This book gave me a lot to think about and I expect that I’ll revisit it in paper form (I listened to the audiobook) as I digest it more.

Thank you to Dina Nayeri (author), Ayesha Antoine (narrator), Dreamscape Media, and Netgalley for this free advanced reader copy of "Who Gets Believed: When the Truth Isn't Enough" for an honest review.

I admit when I picked up this book, based on the cover and the snippet explaining it, I expected it to be more research non-fiction and not a very memoir-esque telling of the topic. It was a little jarring for a while, shifting gears from my expectations to just taking in what the book had to offer and was going to be about, through what lens, instead.

By the end, I found it quite captivating in a horrific way, as we got up close and person with the truth of the immigrant experience. I do think this a book everyone should consider reading to broaden their viewpoint and knowledge on the topic from someone who knows the experience and communities from the ground roots.

If publishers are interested in people reviewing this, they should give reviewers more than 24 hours to read this. Super unprofessional, I won't be bothering to request anything else from Dreamscape.

Dina Nayeri's new book "Who Gets Believed" is a fantastic look at the experiences of refugees. She doesn't just talk about what they go through when they leave their homes, but also about things like religion, mental health, and how experts in society affect them. This makes the book really interesting because she shows how these big things can make refugees' lives even harder.

What's really good about the book is how Nayeri tells personal stories while also talking about bigger ideas. She does it in a way that makes it easy to understand, even though the subject can be complicated. This makes the book really important, especially now that we need to understand refugees more.

In the end, "Who Gets Believed" is a really powerful and interesting book. It talks about things that aren't always talked about and helps us understand what refugees go through. Anyone who wants to learn more about refugees and why it's important to care about them should read this book.

Nayeri's analysis of the creation of belief in the specific context of immigration law takes many detours into other fields and her personal background, including extensive examinations of glossolalia (speaking in tongues). While parts of the book are painful to read, the storytelling is engaging. Nayeri isn't afraid to paint herself as a difficult woman or to examine a tragic family incident in which she bears blame.

I expected a more straightforward narrative structure but a reference by the author to Iranian immigrants answering yes or no questions with stories in a way that isn't well understood by immigration authorities made me think that this might be cultural, and surrendering to the path through the book was ultimately satisfying. The narrator was a good fit for the book. Reading at 1x speed allowed more time for digesting the author's points but 1.25x speed didn't feel too fast.

Nayeri's novel Refuge was excellent so of course I wanted to read this nonfiction book from her. The approach with her own personal story and history along with those of refugees and their stories was excellent.

Enlightening in a very unnerving way, especially the section about healthcare in America. The stories of the authors brother in law and her immigration were woven throughout in very compelling ways.

4.5/5 stars

This is honestly a phenomenal read. It has been over a week since I finished listening to the audiobook, and I still think about it daily. Dina Nayeri has an exceptionally engaging writing style, part memoir of her life and part sociology/psychology and reflection. This book addresses a lot of different scenarios, like refugee interviews, medical situations, organised religion and cultural performance. Although discussing a wide range of topics, the focus throughout the book is why the truth is not always enough, the power of words and assumptions, and believability in all aspects of life.

This book was incredibly reflective, though-provoking and at times completely heart-crushingly tragic. I was completely engaged with the author throughout the book, which is often hard for me with nonfiction books. I am definitely looking forward to reading more from this author, I think her perspective is incredibly introspective and important.

While the author does jump around between topics sometimes which may be disorienting to some, I loved the flow of stories between each other, it really did feel like a conversation with the author. I definitely recommend the audiobook for this very reason.

Thank you to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

This book was not at all what I thought it would be. I’m not sure whether I made an assumption based on the title, or whether I confused this book for another one, but I expected to read about society’s reluctance (and sometimes, refusal) to women in general, and crime victims in particular.

This book was part memoir, part reflection on believability, largely in reference to refugees and asylum seekers, torture victims, and medical patients. So much of the content was relatable, and I enjoyed reading about this issue as applied to situations outside of my day to day life.

I’m a domestic violence prosecutor, and since crimes of domestic violence typically happen behind closed doors, the biggest hurdle in proving my cases is establishing victim credibility. Dina Nayeri made some excellent points about the way victims (or refugees) tell their stories, and why they are met with such skepticism. She points out that interviewers often ask questions in a way that does not allow for elaboration, and then months later, asylum seekers are asked by a judge or other official why they didn’t mention those details before. I see this every day. Defense attorneys or police officers ask limiting questions or don’t allow the time or space for victims to tell their stories, only for a victim to have it thrown in their face when they take the stand at trial. (For example: “In your written statement from the date of the alleged assault, you wrote that your partner struck you and beat you up. That’s all it says. And now you’re telling this jury they choked you, bent your fingers back so badly they were sprained, and kicked you in the ribs hard enough to leave bruises? You didn’t think those details were important enough to tell the officer? In fact, this is the first time you’ve ever given a statement that they choked you, isn’t that right?) It’s infuriating. Jurors are told they can’t believe the victim’s testimony because they didn’t provide adequate details moments after they were beaten to a pulp, when they were bleeding, vulnerable, terrified - and frankly, more concerned with who was going to take care of the kids, who was going to pay the ER bill, how they’d afford groceries if their abusive partner was in jail.

I also saw parallels between victims of domestic violence and victims of female genital mutilation in third world countries. If a domestic violence survivor fights back, runs, escapes, or is reached by a third party, they might not bear the same scars as a victim who was beaten into unconsciousness, or even killed. And yet, these victims are, in essence, less believable because there’s a lack of physical evidence. “A cut clitoris with labia sewn shut is diagnostic of FGM. But scars from metal bars can only ever be the fourth level - highly consistent of torture…who is to say what cuts on the upper thigh means? Are we to punish her because she didn’t let them finish the job?”

This book illuminates how this phenomenon extends to so many other situations, and asks what purpose skepticism serves. It also looks at the fact that each culture has its own ideas of what a “real” victim looks like and how those cultural difference affect legal process. When it comes to immigration proceedings and refugee applications, Nayeri begs the question of whether these efforts are ever met without opposition. She asks why, if [her country] is honestly carrying out the terms of the refugee convention, does her government argue against nearly everyone? It’s definitely a point to ponder. This book was deeply personal, raw, and thought-provoking. It feels weird to say I enjoyed it, but there it is.

“Not all opinions matter equally… so how can an ordinary person judge? In whom do we place our trust when the circumstances eclipse our own education?”

It took me quite a while to get into this book, but then it was fascinating. I really appreciate her Iranian perspective, as an immigrant to North America. A much needed perspective, when so many revolve around Americanism.

What convinces people something is true, what plays into it?

By the end I didn’t want the book to end. I love to hear her scattered thoughts, how she interprets the world, the nuggets of truths and “ah-ha!” moments.

This book is so much more than a book about refugees and their stories, though Nayeri does shine a light on the injustices of the bureaucracy that asylum seekers are forced to navigate. This book is also about the cultural performances that we all engage in and the ways we construct beliefs that solidify our membership in a group and also exclude others. In addition to talking about refugees Nayeri explores religion, mental illness, suicide, "experts" and so much more. I feel like I have a better grasp on being human after reading this book. I am going to recommend this book to everybody!
Thanks Netgalley for letting me read this wonderful book!

This isn't just an examination of a particular topic, like asylum seekers reliability, but rather how bias effects believability in all different aspects of life. From healthcare issues to criminal law to relationships, Nayeri touches on all these topics weaving a personal narrative throughout which helps give the audience a connection to what could have been a book about statistics. She would toss in shorter anecdotes, like the consequences of an autistic man being interrogated by police, which could be an entire book on its own. Yet, arguably the most devastating story was about her brother-in-law which was written so raw and honestly that I won't soon forget it. There is a lot of important information to absorb in this book which will, hopefully, lead readers to some deep self-reflection. This is the first book I have read by this author but it will not be the last. Thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for the audio copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

Thank you tonight, Galley in the publisher for granting me this early audio arc.

I really wanted to love this book, but it was hard for me to get past the 20% mark as I just didn’t love the narrator and I felt that the story wasn’t being told in the best way that it could be. So this was a book that I unfortunately did not finish. I liked the message behind it, but it was hard to get through the audio.