Cover Image: Your Gender Book

Your Gender Book

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Member Reviews

While not very helpful with people who are well versed in gender identity already, this book is perfect for people who are just dipping their toes into discovering their gender indentity and figuring out who they are. And even though I'm pretty set on how I indentify, it helped a few loose threads click in to place. Definitely worth the read.

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I'm struggling to formulate my thoughts on this book.
I went into it expecting it to be aimed at an older audience, but it very much reads as though it's for kids.

Looking at it for what it is, I'm not qualified to say whether i think it has the right language or tone for that age range but it is also hard then for me to judge it, as I can't judge it for.. .say a 27 year old (me).
I do think perhaps the book itself was confused by who it wanted to be for - because it can't be for everyone but it didn't feel fully for kids, but it also didn't feel for adults or for adults to read to kids.

There could be so many worse books and at the very least, I hope this book can provide at least a starting point for families/kids.

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I think this could be a good selection for a middle school age health class but it wasn't what I was looking for. It reads a lot like a textbook -- there's an activity or quiz at the end of each chapter as well as definitions, headings, etc. This could be good like I said for a class but as a general library read I was not interested.

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This book is basically every American conservative’s worst nightmare. It teaches children about the beautifully expansive gender spectrum, all while reassuring them that they are perfect as they are - no matter what others (including adults) might say.

For this reason, I appreciate “Your Gender Book” and I grieve the fact that it will likely not be accessible to so many children who could benefit from reading it. However, I also find myself questioning how technically successful it is as a piece of Children’s Non-fiction.

I’m certainly not an early childhood development specialist by any means - but I struggled to determine exactly what age range this was written for. On one hand, the subject exploration and reading comprehension always felt more tailored to tweens. (For example: The “silly shouty people on Twitter” are often referenced. And there’s a big focus on not letting what other people think of you decrease your self-love. Certainly a sentiment that screams “early adolescence!”)

But the actual tone of the writing always felt much more juvenile; like the author was speaking to a much younger child. And that’s where the disconnect seemed so odd for me. Because, while there were a few definitions scattered throughout & knowledge checks at the end of each chapter… I still found myself wondering if the writing would be accessible to most early elementary readers. And if this was meant to be read TO a child, then the whole structure seems wrong.

Aside from those technical aspects, I also agree with other reviewers who mentioned how some of the information is just incorrect - or at least woefully incomplete. I want to believe that this was the author’s attempt to keep such a complex topic simplified & age-appropriate for early learners. (It’s important to note that the author does save themselves sometimes, like when they claim that there are only two sexes but later mention intersex folks.)

When looked at as a whole, it just didn’t make much sense to me though. If the goal was to offer a very simple and G-rated introduction and that’s why (for example) the author confuses definitions for asexual vs. aromantic, then it seemed especially strange to expound on the quote: “Hell is other people” of all things. And if we are going to delve into more mature conversations, then maybe discussions of safety should have been included while the author was encouraging youth to dress however they want. Because any time the scary or dangerous aspects of being gender-expansive were mentioned, they felt sugarcoated too; simultaneously a warning and a dismissal of that very warning.

I’m not saying that I have all the right answers for how to have these conversations with children. I’m not saying that I know how to toe the line between making sure children are aware of reality while also not scaring them. But for all the good that this book offers, I also found that it left a bit to be desired.

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‘The world is having an identity crisis. People who experience gender in different ways are coming under fire from pretty much every corner. It can feel very confusing right now to be LGBTQIA+, especially for gender-diverse and trans people.’

- Ben Pechey.

Your Gender Book is insightful and almost comforting for anyone who is struggling with their gender identity, or for someone who is trying to support and understand a loved one who may have come out and explained that their gender identity is different to the one they'd been born as. Both are difficult to go through and can leave you mentally exhausted as the world isn't kind to anyone who may be different regardless of the ‘why.’

The author has taken the time to ensure that this exploration and understanding of the concept of gender isn't too heavy but rather takes your understanding in baby steps with complimentary artwork that helps it not be word heavy. You're already learning a lot without feeling as though you're drowning in information and emotion.

The book is designed for 8-12 year olds but I will say anyone can benefit from Your Gender Book as the information within is simplified and easy to follow because Ben Pechey had taken the time to organise it in an organic manner. I know there are people who will say how an eight year old child could not know their gender isn't the one they are born with, etcetera, and there are multiple truths to that statement.

They can know that right now, their gender is incorrect and change their mind.

They can be questioning how they feel in the moment and continue to do so.

They can know at eight and still know as an adult.

All are correct. All are valid, and Ben Pechey will help in each of these scenarios.

There is no sugar coating that this is one of the hardest things to discover about yourself, that people will either be kind or be cruel but books like this provide you with information, explanation and the realisation you are far from alone regardless of age, gender or anything else for that matter.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book via Netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are my own opinions.

Your Gender Book answered so many questions that I could not find reliable answers. I enjoyed those activities after every chapter as well. They really do a good job at reviewing the information from the chapter.

Highly recommend this book as a reference tool and a learning tool for both adults and children.

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This is an amazing non fiction book for kids! It has illustrations that represent a wide variety of children.
The writing is appropriate for kids, but is also enjoyable for adults (like me) who are curious about how to talk about gender to children. I found the book full of joy and hope even though it doesn't shy away from heavy topics that sadly plague the LGBT+ community. One of the last chapters gives voice to LGBT+ guests who give the readers advice and it had me in tears as some fears are so common and universal. I think people of all ages gain from reading their words of encouragement.
The last chapter is full of resources to find more information or help (it's targeted to UK readers).

I hope there will be many more books in all languages like this one so children will have a lot of choice!

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The book is informative and makes me think about the topics. As someone who has only just recently accepted who they are themself (non-binary), they really help me understand myself.

I adore that the book is quite quippy and is filled with jokes, as it helps the reader get through the book a lot easier (even more so if they aren't quite used to reading non-fiction books, like myself) while still being very relevant to the topics spoken about!

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✨Muchísimas gracias NetGalley y Ben Pechey por mandarme esta eARC a cambio de una crítica honesta!
✨Me ha parecido un gran libro con el que tratar temas tan tan importantes como el género, no sólo con personas a las que ni se les había pasado por la cabeza pensar en ello, sino que con les niñes, el público principal de la obra.
✨La manera en la que realiza el acercamiento me ha parecido absolutamente fantástica, con los ejemplos, el vocabulario sencillo, los ejemplos de personas como modelos a seguir, así como los pequeños resúmenes al final del libro y de los ejercicios a modo de repaso.

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A great book about gender that teaches children (and adults even) about all facets of gender identity! I thought this book was really well laid out. I liked how Pechey tackled the issues in the order they did. I also liked that each chapter included role models in the queer community. This book is great!

I received my copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

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YOUR GENDER BOOK is an excellent resource for young people trying to understand gender and themselves. It it written with a friendly and validating tone, and emphasizes the reader's mental health.

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I was really excited about this book after reading the description. Unfortunately, it was a bit disappointing. It’s a great into book and the tone is great for young readers. Some of the definitions are incorrect. Some of the role models are problematic or currently going through legal battles. The book is well intentioned but definitely falls short.

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LOVED. Really recommend to any allies and gender queer individuals out there. Very validating whilst sharing a lot of knowledge in a safe and fun way.

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Written for children, this book’s conversational style with real life examples was a handy way to tackle some complicated gender questions in a really accessible way. And if you are an adult who feels confused sometimes and wants to say “ok, but now explain to me like I’m 10” this book might be for you too.

I particularly appreciated when the author openly admitted that there were some things that were going to be hard to discuss, and that there were no easy answers. That family might not always be supportive, but provided suggestions about what to do instead. The list of organizations and agencies that can be contacted is also a great touch to allow the book to function as a starting point of an ongoing conversation for readers.

Thanks Netgalley for the ARC

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This book is going to be such a wonderful resource for the LGBTQIA+ youth! As well as anyone wanting to learn more and educate themselves on gender. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.
Not only is this written in a warm and welcoming tone to talk to the reader, it has constant reassurance woven through the chapters. This book will start to show you how you should always see yourself as the incredible person you are, always have been and will continue to evolve into. Packed full of helpful resources and tools to help and educate this is a must read! I loved the sprinkling of trans and LGBTQIA+ role models mentioned throughout this book, and the encouragement to further our knowledge through other sources that aren’t widely spoken about enough to our youth. Your Gender Book will be an excellent starting point for anyone wanting to learn more.

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I was given an arc by netgalley and i devoured this book in a few hours.
As a trans person, this is the kind of books that I needed as a kid and im sure that it will help a lot of children understand that there is nothing wrong with them and that eveything will be okay.
Pechey writes in a very honest way that its simple to understand but it doesnt speak to the reader like they are a baby.
Overall this book explains all the concepts around gender in a very easy to understand way that could also be helpfull to any cis person who is just trying to understand the trans experience.

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Great message, slightly messy method at the start (the Sun as a source?!) however contains vital information and resources on gender. Felt targeted at a younger generation than mine and it s lovely to see them being given info earlier on than what i was allowed to.

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Ye gods, what wouldn't I have given to read this book when I was a teen.

I grew up in the rural far north of England, very much pre-internet. While I knew I was different, I didn't know why. I lacked the language, the concepts even, to put this difference in words. This led to me spending far too many years not knowing who I am or where I fit into the LGBTQ spectrum.

It's never going to be easy coming to terms with yourself but at least the internet is there to hopefully show you that you're not alone. It may give you the language to describe yourself. It may direct you to resources like this book. Above all, it should puncture that feeling of being different, weird, or a freak.

Does that mean a book like 'Your gender book' is redundant? Far from it. Even if you can determine your label, or make a few online friends, that doesn't necessarily translate into an easier, more-fulfilling queer life,

Ben Pechey uses a chatty, straightforward style to explore all kinds of topics - some heavy, some not, all directed at giving the reader the tools, the confidence, to be themselves. No abracadabra revelations are promised. Instead, Pechey goes out of their way to emphasise that self-discovery and self-acceptance happen at whatever pace the reader determines. They also use quotes throughout the book from an impressive array of queer icons which are intended to inspire, reassure, and validate.

This sort of book - honest, kind, accepting - is needed more than ever. Gender-critical voices spread falsehoods. Queer-inclusive sex and relationship education is threatened. Those who aren't cis or otherwise conforming are made to feel less human. This book, and others, are part of the fightback.

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The author does a fantastic job of relating normalcy to gender through a series of stories about people who are comfortable in their own bodies. The book does justice to the barriers the LGBTQ+ community has faced and continues to face today. This read was casual and calming in a world where others are quick to judge for a lack of understanding. As a mother of a transgender son, I welcomed this book in hopes that it will enlighten readers in my library about the social constructs in place today, and how we may overcome prejudices and simply accept people for who they are, inside and out. I would recommend this book.

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"However you look at it, being questioning is an inevitable part of growing up. Not knowing is not a bad thing! There is also no time limit, expectation or finishing line. You deserve all the time in the world to work out who you are so take it!"

This book was so wholesome, that is the first word that comes to mind. Next would be insightful, I feel as though this is something that should be readily available to all libraries and schools as it is extremely informative especially for younger readers. We learn in a kind and nurturing way through the gentle and funny narration from the author about gender and self expression. We get to know more about how to communicate on the topic of gender not only to others but with ourselves. That it is ok not to know exactly who you are right now and we are forever changing, "who you are now is perfect".

I really liked that there was a balance of good and bad, no sugar coating whilst also making the reader know that there is hope, help and many many influential and successful people out there who have made it and we can too. There is so much happiness, information and resources in this, overall it's just a brilliant book that I feel like is needed and we need more non binary, trans and gender non conforming books like this! Highly recommend whether you are a member of this community yourself, questioning or a friend/ relative just looking to be an ally.

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