I wanted to like this book. The premise was intriguing a society that praises conformity above all but it comes at a cost. It gave very good gothic vibes and even some Big Brother is always watching. My biggest issue was with the time jumps. They felt forced and hard to follow. This caused me to have a hard time following the plot and really understand the characters motives. Just wasn’t for me.

Be careful what you wish for, because you may just get it. This is a lesson that Eleanor, unfortunately, is forced to learn the hard way. She, like every young girl, anxiously waits to see if she will receive her letter; an invitation to attend the Estuary, the Glades, or the Meadows. These are places where only the best and the brightest are invited to attend, but Eleanor soon learns that sometimes things aren’t always as they seem from the outside, and the Meadows has some secrets of its own, including its actual mission in relation to the young girls that grace its halls.
Four years later Eleanor is working as an adjudicator, traveling to the homes of her former classmates to see if they are following the paths laid out for them or whether they are straying from that path and falling into old habits, habits that Eleanor herself is having a hard time staying away from. Forced to choose from what is expected of her and what she actually wants in life, Eleanor must decide what, and who, is important, and what she is willing to do to live the life she wants as the person she is.

While this novel started out quite slow, it definitely built itself up into an intriguing tale that greatly applies to the world today. Oakes jumps between the two different timelines to tell the story, revealing relevant details and events in a way that creates wonder and a bit of suspense. It was extremely effective at revealing Eleanor’s journey throughout her time at the Meadows and as an adjudicator, along with those individuals that have played a part in her life. There are so many themes and character traits found in The Meadows that are prevalent in today’s society, making it a very relevant young adult novel. I really enjoyed the characters and found them to be well developed and relatable, as well as diverse in their personalities and desires. There were aspects of the ending that truly took me by surprise and I loved seeing those characters that persevered and ultimately lived their truths find themselves where they did.

This was so so so good, but in a sad way. The constant mellow, sorrowful feel, impending doom kind of book.

The world is different from what we know. Mother nature has wrecked havoc, and has destroyed most of the humanity. For those who are left, a new society has emerged that is trying to build a better, better, "back to the nature", but we will follow you and the algorithm will determine what and who is deemed to be the best of the best. It sounds so promising on the paper, but it is definitely not as imagined.

Our MC, Eleanor is chosen to be sent to a school for the brightest and best girls. And she wants to get away from her cold, aloof, not real mother, and the fishing town she lives in. Where she runs free, living and loving. But maybe no other opportunity like this will ever be available - to get out, and be set in her own future. Except, the school isn't really for the best of the best. And Eleanor, along with the other girls soon learns what their reality actually is.

It was heartbreaking to read about the past, the time Eleanor lived in The Meadows, as well as the Now, where she works for the government and what she does for those she knew in the program. I was heartbroken over Rose, and Eleanor's constant need to figure out what did happen to Rose. There's a lot not shown and not explained about the society, algorithm and The Meadows as well, that it left me wanting to know more. But the focus of this story was on the pain of being forced to be someone you're not on all kinds of levels, as well as living with the choices made.

It was great book about conversion camps, about the survival of trauma, about figuring out who you are, and actually learning/understanding more about where you come from. It was beautiful in a poetic kind of way, though very painful to read.

Definitely recommend it - though don't expect much of world building, just ride the emotional wave that this book is.

Thank you to Penguin Teen for my gifted review copy. All opinions are my own.

The Meadows is a book that I cannot prise out of my head. This is one spilling over with emotions: anger, sadness, and a tiny kernel of hope. It is a quietly devastating book that hits almost too close to home. I have seen this described as a queer YA Handmaid’s Tale and I will say it captures that social commentary within a dystopian narrative. It has that same ferocity beneath a shimmering façade of respectability politics and an oppressive system that forces one to conform.

Stephanie Oakes’ particular target is that of the abhorrent practice of conversion therapy. This is ripped straight from the headlines, both in the US, UK, and beyond. You hear so many stories of this—particularly with the explosion of social media. The wilderness “therapy” camps and “treatments” come to mind instantly. These are horrific tales of abuse, power trips, and a fundamental attack on identity. They deserve no place in our modern culture and yet they persist. Oakes’ story is a rallying cry against this—in place, we have a quietly gorgeous love story that perseveres against the odds. However, this is definitively Eleanor’s story of learning to love and accept herself. That is the primary focus, with the other relationships weaved in. It is a defiant celebration of loving who you are in the faces of those who see you as a monster.

Eleanor is a protagonist like no other. She has a fierce passion and desire to be loved and accepted, but it is veiled beneath years of programming and a paranoia from a world determined to squash her. The acts of resistance she carries out are initially low level and only indicate an awareness of the flaws of the system, rather than full fledged attacks. What she experiences in the Meadows is beyond sickening. You can see the layers of gaslighting and manipulation; the way events are twisted and devised is nothing short of heart-wrenching. Yet, you too fall into the strange monotony of this world. You can see exactly what Oakes is trying to achieve and it is played out so well. Coupled with this, the narrative structure of moving between then and now—within the Meadows and outside allows for some interesting world-building and hints beyond this dystopian reality. Oakes weaves in some timely warning about the dangers of climate change. This adds another layer to the poignant social commentary, without feeling too laboured or over-explained.

Oakes’ writing is incredibly captivating. Every page carries a keen sense of urgency and suspense, as you follow Eleanor through her narrative. There is a sense of paranoia manifested through the eyes you can practically feel peering over your shoulder. This society has a continual sense of judgement, making every movement feel scrutinised. For me, this heightened the tension immeasurably. Every act of defiance has to be sugar coated and veiled beneath the mask of an extremified femininity. To break the system, you have to face it from inside. For Eleanor, that also means facing and unlearning everything she has been conditioned to believe. It also means facing some more personal histories that she would rather keep buried. There are some excellent twists in here, mostly tied to these introspective developments and are often an internal devastation, rather than a shocking bombshell.

Sometimes a book just makes you ache. The Meadows is one of those very books, leaving an ache deep in your bones and your heart. How you cope with that ache is up to you, but hopefully it spurs you to act in the defence of love.

The Meadows is the hauntingly heartbreaking tale of Eleanor, a girl taken from her life to a facility to be reformed. Behind the glitz and glam of what has been presented as a finishing school for the best and brightest, instead she finds an institution intent on forcing her into a societal cookie cutter. This book has been called reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale and I couldn't agree more. It also reminded me in some ways of The Honeys by Ryan La Sala.

This book is powerful in its handling of sensitive topics. Eleanor is a very likeable, relatable character. Strap in because this book will take you through pain, grief, love, and doubt, among other intense emotions. This is not an easy book to read, and it will hurt you. But it is a story that needs to be told. There were some rather large lulls in the book, as well as some unanswered questions that resulted in this book being a 4 instead of a 5 star. Oakes has written an emotional tour de force and I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for the ARC. I am leaving this review voluntarily and all views expressed are my own.

2.5 stars

I enjoyed the comparison books, so I had high hopes for this one. Sadly, things fell flat for me. It was a bit confusing with the past/present flip without there being something specified ahead of time. For a dystopian, the worldbuilding was lacking, and it felt forced. I never connected with the main character, which made it hard to stay engaged or be invested in the outcome. The ending was okay (probably the best part of the book). Overall, it was meh, but I did feel very misled by the comparisons that just weren't accurate.

Absolutely devoured The Meadows. I’ve been waiting for this book for years and it’s just *chef’s kiss* It is queer and beautiful and made my heart ache in the best way. Stephanie’s writing is amazing (if you haven’t read The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly, do that now!). So many beautiful lines, I might need to get a second copy to highlight to my heart’s content.

My heart can’t contain how much I loved this book. As I read the last few chapters, my emotions overflowed in the form of tears. Eleanor is messy, and broken, and healing in a world that wants to erase girls like her.

One of my favorite quotes repeats several times “Maybe friendship is just a decision, one you make over and over again.” At the heart of this book are the friendships we make that help us survive, and even grow, in places that desperately want to destroy us.

Another quote, from the author’s note, gets to the ‘why’ of this story “But trauma is only ever the beginning of the story.” Eleanor’s story (and June’s and Rose’s and Sheila’s and Jo’s and Marina’s and Betty’s and and and) is one of trauma, inflicted by those who should protect and nurture them. But it is also about the love and community and family we can form and find that have the power to sooth even the deepest scars.

I honestly believe this book can and will change lives. In a time of increasing challenges to the health and happiness of queer people, especially queer kids, this book affirms that you deserve to be loved exactly as you are, that you are not broken or wrong, and that no matter how hard the world tries to break us, we have always been here. And always will be.

I am devastated.

I wrote that when I first finished this book, overcome with the urge to cry and laugh and yell, all at once. It holds true. The Meadows is a story that I hold near my heart. I hope with everything within me that this book blows up — because it's such a special, beautiful story of struggle in the face a world that fights your existence — but I hope it at least finds the people who need it.

In a country torn apart by climate disaster and remade with the abolishment of religion, race, and culture, Eleanor is accepted into the Meadows, a prestigious school for the "best and brightest." Four years later, Eleanor has a job in the city, living the beginning of a life she was always told to image for herself. But as secrets are uncovered and the dark truths of this picture-perfect school start to tear her apart, Eleanor is left to pick up the pieces of what remains of herself.

The Meadows is a hard book to discuss without spoilers. It's a YA dystopia, but one more in the vein of The Handmaid’s Tale than any of the 2010s YA classics. It's about pain and struggle, but it's also full of love and strength. It captured my heart, expanded my mind, and hit me harder than I have been in a while. I truly hope this book finds its audience. It's devastatingly important, with beautiful writing and a story that will keep you guessing throughout.

This is a story that never truly ends. So much is packed within it, and it's beautifully explored. There are so many quotes that took my breath away, so many themes and moments that made me unsure of myself. I truly was never far away from the story when reading it, and I don't foresee it ever leaving me.

I buddy read this and it was such an engaging experience — sharing our theories, our favorite quotes, our screams and teary eyes. Grab a friend when you pick up this book. Share this experience. I'm sure you'll find the pieces of yourselves just waiting for you to let them in.

Trigger Warnings: conversion therapy, parent death, gaslighting, violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse, homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, cultural erasure, self-harm, suicide

Thank you netgalley for providing this arc.

Because of some of the reviews, I did not start with super high hopes, but I was presently surprised. This was amazing. For whoever is missing the dystopian era? This is for you. And with the added benefit of queerness ofc.

The only critique I have, is that the first 30 pages don’t grab your attention. I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it, but as soon as the plot dropped in-omg-I was hooked.

I loved Eleanor. Sheila I loved at first, but was back and forth with. June I kinda liked but not my fav. Rose was cool, Jo as well.

The setting of this story was so good; I loved the unsettling feeling it gave, but it also felt mysterious and never ending.

The author did the topic well, and I would definitely read another book by them.

Queer dystopia for the win, mate.

“I see you as you. You are good, just as you are.” -author. :)

P.s: poor frog😪

i… genuinely don’t know where to begin. how much should i say? everything i want to say, really, feels like a spoiler.

i guess, let me just say. i hope this book receives the recognition it deserves. the importance it has to our current day. the slippery path our world could easily go down, if extremist parties gain more traction. this book, does a beautiful job portraying how deeply frightening it can be if this does happen. it scares me with how unfortunately probable this path is in our current political landscape, especially here in the states.

but also, throughout it all. it gives us hope. it shows people like eleanor, people like me, who subtly fight back. like sheila, who’s a flame, burning almost too bright. like betty, who bury their hurt deep deep down until they drown. the amount of times i held back sobs reading this story. it’s so damn powerful. so well portrayed. it uses a dystopian landscape with highly advanced technology to “mask” the how similar it is to our modern world. but at its core, its a story about us now. and it’s done so well. so intricately constructed. i really, truly, could not explain this all this book contains properly.

i had the lovely opportunity, albeit completely unplanned, chance to buddy read this with mel (@mel.muses). and i honestly think this is the way to go. grab a friend or two. make a lil group chat and buddy read it. because your brains will be swimming with theories and confusion and beautiful quotes. and you will want to talk to it with someone.

this book is made for conversations. so lets start them.

A queer, YA Handmaid’s Tale you say?! Sold! Also, can we take a moment to appreciate that cover?!?! 😍
The story follows Eleanor, a young woman living in a post-climate crisis world where society is attempting to make amends to nature by eradicating things that make us different - sexual orientation, culture, language, religion, etc. One day Eleanor receives a letter to attend The Meadows a school for the best and brightest… or so they say.
The story unfolds in different timelines, past and present. Some areas are slower than others and there were times after setting it down and coming back to it that I struggled to get back into the book. Overall, it was an okay read.

The Meadows is a YA dystopian that is reminiscent to The Handsmaid Tale but queer and for a younger audience. I enjoyed reading about this futuristic America that was ravaged by climate change and how easy it was for a dangerous power to arise.

The group that is now leading the country is bent on relentless conformity. No different languages, no traditions, no religion, and “traditional” gender specific roles. I’m happy that this book discussed how this world effected everyone from different races to transgender people. The world were brought into was interesting and haunting!

I liked getting to know these characters. Eleanor was a complex character with flaws and I think a lot of young adults will be able to resonate with her. She doesn’t have a linear path she has lots of ups and downs on her journey which was extremely relatable.

I enjoyed the writing style I think it was at times really beautiful and atmospheric. I do think pacing was a little bit of an issue.. the middle was a little long to get through and rushed at the end.

Overall I definitely recommend this book and I’m so thankful stories exploring these themes exist!

Read If You:
Developed a lot of “close female friendships” in boarding school (niche, but true)
Are eagerly awaiting the next Ruby Rose project
Can endure uneven pacing that will give you whiplash.


Thank you PenguinTeen and Dial for the ARC.

“Everyone hopes for a letter—to attend a Facility.. These are the special places where only the best and brightest go to burn even brighter.
When Eleanor is accepted at the Meadows, it means escape from her hardscrabble life by the sea, in a country ravaged by climate disaster. But despite its luminous facilities, endless fields, and pretty things, the Meadows keeps dark secrets: its purpose is to reform students, to condition them against their attractions, to show them that one way of life is the only way to survive.”

Billed as a “queer, YA Handmaid's Tale meets Never Let Me Go,” there was so much here I was dying to like, but the chopped pacing and frustrating main character made for a draining read. And in a world already content to suck all the fun out of queer life, this seems like an unnecessary addition.

Chapters chaotically jumped between past and present, without consideration for flow. The story follows these girls from ages 14, or younger, to late teens, and the dialogue and characterizations never really change to align with the age change. When they are young they sound way too measured, and as they get older they sound childish.

One thing that was cool was the use of techno-environments that reminded me a lot of the arenas in The Hunger Games. It was a nice kind of nostalgia to see the legacy from that series show up in an unexpected way.

The instant I saw queer handmainden’s tale I knew I would have to read this book. I thought the premise was very interesting even if it was in equal parts horrifying. To imagine a world that has been told that allowing men to marry men is the cause of the destruction of the earth (instead of global warming and our general disregard for our planet). I will admit the main character was hard to connect to, but I felt that pretty much fit the story given what she went through. Eleanor dreamed of getting her letter to one of the special schools where the best and brightest children went. When she got her letter for The Meadows she was ecstatic. This was her chance to leave her tiny home town of The Cove and become someone important. When she got to school she was surprised to find a finishing school that was only teaching her how to be a wife and mother, but she was more horrified when she realized that the school was not about finding the best and brightest but those most likely to stray from the strict societal gender norms and reform them. I liked the ending and overall enjoyed this story (although the back and forth between timelines was hard to follow at times and the story could have moved a little faster).

I expected so much from this book, especially after being it compared to The Handmaid's Tale, but this just didn't seem to serve its purpose well? I wasn't expecting this. It didn't seem like anything in the story was that important or like the book wanted you to feel it was important. I just wanted more from this.

4.5 stars Thank you Penguin for this ARC
Powerful, emotional, and quite frankly traumatizing, The Meadows is a queer dystopian novel I won't soon forget.
Eleanor has dreamed of being chosen for a speciality school her whole life, only the best of the best get accepted. What she finds at the school is the opposite of what she expected, and soon it's clear why every girl was chosen to attend.
The book is comprised mostly of flashbacks to Eleanor's time at the school, with moments from the present interspersed throughout. It's odd to say I found a book symbolizing conversion therapy, and having a lot of parallels with the The Handmaid's Tale so enjoyable, but I did. Oakes has a way of making you feel as suffocated and isolated as the characters, and at times I felt I was losing myself as much as Eleanor was. I think it's clear to see from just how much I wrote on this book, how much it made me think and has stuck in my brain.
I am so thankful the inclusion and discussion of racism was brought up. You really can't have a perfect uniform society, without people who don't match the ideal having to change themselves constantly. Sheila and her battle to retain her sense of self is symbolized by her hair, and her fight and the eventual events just killed me to read. The matrons are masters of quiet and insidious abuse. No raised hands, no torture, just a long and slow process where they slowly break and domesticate everyone's spirits. I'd almost classify this is a horror with how true to life it is, and how utterly terrifying it is to watch a slow torture. Because a the end of the day, that's what it was. Torture and abuse. Not the kind you think of when you read those words, the bruises left aren't noticeable. But the effects never go away, and we see Eleanor struggle with everything she went through years later. (As well as the other students) What's worse is that it is constantly framed as being a "choice". It's so ironic that a book where the society got rid of religion would so heavily still read like religious trauma. I am not nuanced enough to know why I feel that way, but I am sure someone smarter than me could figure out why I made those parallels. (It is basically a cult guys, join and conform, or die and be cast out, though they make it seem like a choice)
This quote gutted me when I read it, and I just can't stop thinking about it.
"Maybe for the ones who get good at pretending, it won't come out for years and years...Or they'll, quite without warning, walk into the ocean until their life disappears. And everyone will be stunned. And everyone will blink in perplexed anger. She was so happy. Always so happy." *
I feel the common response to someone who commits or attempts to commit suicide is always one of "but they seemed so happy, but they were always smiling, we had no idea!" When in reality if anyone had ever taken the time to know the person or look for more then two seconds past the surface, they would see the cracks and the sadness, and the pain. There is so much symbolism to found, particularly centering around homophobia, and how that makes us hate each other and ourselves. At the end of the day, all anyone ever wants is to be accepted, loved, and to be able to be themselves. (Poor Eleanor takes so long to get any of these!)
I really love this book (but Avery, why didn't you give it 5 stars?!), but for me I did have a few issues with the ending, and how the tone changed. [I'm always happy to see a book end on hope, and not retain that overwhelming sense of hopelessness sadness that comes with topics like these. For this one, I do find it almost too abrupt of a departure from the rest of the story. Everyone gets a happy ending (except Betty) and all end up saved, or finding their way through one of the doors. It almost felt like it was lacking the emotional impact, or the characters had too heavy of plot armor. I do think June should have been killed, or died from her wounds. At the very least I wish we had seen more characters face the brutal consequences that everyone is constantly afraid of. We even get told about prisons that torture subservients, yet never glimpse that. Every single character mentioned basically gets a happy ending. (Except Betty) It feels like once the end happened it was just a domino effect of "everything is going to be okay now!" In keeping with the tone of the book, I do think it would have had a greater emotional impact had it been more sad, yet still retained the note of hope for the majority of characters. It's odd that all of the book is stuck in my mind because I love it, but the ending I don't even dwell on because it isn't of consequence. (hide spoiler)]
With the technology, there are a few pieces that I am a bit confused on still, or didn't quite understand. [ Everyone is being watched and lives in fear, yet Eleanor has ample time to escape. She is literally able to walk around her hometown and just hang out for a few days. I know they mention the peacekeeper have left the area, but it doesn't make sense for how she was able to be so subservient when she was in the city still. If the algorithm is able to detect and know when the people are queer or not, wouldn't it be able to pick up on her erratic behavior? She literally asks the matches to see pseudo Rose, which considering her backstory and file should have been a red flag immediately, and had security on her. There are men who constantly watched everything the students did at The Meadows, they would have known about her and Rose. If anything with the heart racing and eye contact, they would have realized Eleanor still had feelings for her. Technology in this book seemed to be used to explain a lot when convenient, then left us with plot holes for how much it was used to gloss everything over. I will say the argument can be made that society itself was responsible for much of the imposed rules and punishment, and the big bad guys in charge really were just symbolism for how we view each other and that internalized homophobia.
Touching on that, I do wish we got to see more of who was actually in charge, and responsible for all of the ongoing cruelty. (Again I understand how it could have just been less people then thought, and just a few loud voices which the public picked up, and the reality became society was punishing itself and there was no "big bad") Other then the obvious context clues of them being white men, I kinda wanted to know more. ALSO JUSTICE FOR THE POOR FROG! The symbolism there was excellent, though I sobbed like a baby.
(hide spoiler)]
I HIGHLY recommend this book, just please be kind to yourself and look at the content warnings first. (Always available on storygraph guys, don't forget!) This is my first book to read of Stephanie Oakes, and I must say I am hooked. I can't wait to read her others!
The cover is incredibly powerful, symbolic, and suits the book perfectly. On so many levels Eleanor didn't want to see her face, because she couldn't face herself and accept who she is. To see the painting that Rose did, albeit smeared, shows so much symbolism and conveys so much. I am always happy to see a book that does not try to sugar coat its contents, or pretend that the inside contains a happy rainbow sparkle world, when really it is covering depressing and traumatizing material. I would buy this book for the cover, and the content!
*Quote comes from an ARC of the book, and not the finished publication

thanks to NetGalley for the eARC

⭐️=2.5 | 😘=3 | 🤬=3.5 | ⚔️=2 | 14+

summary: basically if The Handmaid's Tale had a YA ripoff??

thoughts: boring?? I feel like YA dystopia has died out so much that if you're publishing a YA dystopia you have to do something really new and inventive with it or I won't be invested, and "traditional gender roles and homophobia bad" wasn't interesting enough for me to, like... care. it felt very juvenile theme-wise, and maybe that's because I'm growing out of YA and this is literally juvenile fiction, but I also think it was bland overall.

Thank you to Penguin Teen and NetGalley for this arc!!

““You can’t erase who people are.” My mother has told me. The sun is still a sun even if you call it the moon.””
A riveting tale of a post-climate crisis world and a society attempting to make amends to nature itself. Religion has been eradicated. Different cultures no longer exist. Everyone is equal.
We follow Eleanor, a young girl, who receives an envelope, inviting her to attend The Meadows. The Meadows is a school, for the best and the brightest? But is it?
This is not an easy read. I am extremely grateful that trigger warnings are included in this book.

read this if you like:
✨dystopian novels
✨handmaids tale but make it LGBTQ+
✨found family
✨beautifully written social commentary

this book was SO unique. i was drawn in from the very beginning - a futuristic, but not too distant America where cities have been destroyed & a new government has taken over. There’s no more race or religion, but there’s a TON of gender roles 🙃 this book had similarities to the Handmade’s Tale (which i loved) but was so unique in the world building that it felt very fresh. The author did such an amazing job portraying the struggles & trials of the LGBTQ+ community & that ENDING! 🥹 such a great heartwarming end to a not so great situation.

overall - if you’re a dystopian lover & like books about the LGBTQ+ community… grab this one as fast as you can!

Thank you @penguinteen for this #gifted copy for my honest review! #penguinteenpartner


i would say the only thing i didn't like about this book is that the pacing felt a ~little~ off -- sometimes there was SO MUCH happening and other times it was like "okay where are we goign w this". the dual timeline was ambiguous (literally never mentioned when the chapter was occuring, you had to guess) and for the most part it was fine but made things a tad choppy. overall enjoyed tho

DNF @ 20%

I really thought this book would be a new favorite. The Handmaid’s Tale is my all-time favorite book, so any book that is inspired by or even loosely related to it is automatically added to the TBR. Unfortunately, this book just didn’t do it for me. It took me weeks to get through 20% and I couldn’t figure out why. The prose is beautiful and I really like the way the author plays with time, going back and forth to weave an interesting narrative. But the book lacked urgency for me. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to care about, unfortunately. I expected much higher stakes. Maybe they come later, but I couldn’t get there.