This book is about the authors life growing up in a family with 8 children and two parents and the immense mental health struggles within her family. This book has A LOT of really sad parts and may contain a lot of triggers for people (abortion, suicide, drug/alcohol addiction- to name a few). Meg writes from her personal experience growing up in this family but also from her research as she has tried to make a change happen in the way that people with mental health are cared for in society. She shows the flaws in the mental health support system of our nation and what she has learned along the way. She shares her (and each of her siblings) process of grieving and healing from the death within her family due to mental health and the families of those who lost someone to suicide. This book is filled with Meg's story, the stories of those she interviews, and research and data. I found the beginning of the book slow and she introduces her family tree but was completely invested as she shares the stories from her upbringing. I thought this was an incredible book on loving someone who struggles with their mental health- and all that that entails. Would recommend, beautifully written on a really difficult and hard topic.

Thanks to Netgalley and CeladonBooks for an ARC in exchange for my honest review- book is available as of 9/5/23

"We are telling our story and letting go."

This is exactly what Meg Kissinger did - her attempt at normalizing the shame associated with mental illness and humanizing the afflicted and the people closest to them.

The investigative journalist wrote an unputdownable, intimate memoir about a mental illness, a subject she has researched and written about for decades. This was her raw and brutally honest personal account of dealing (or not for many years) and living with multiple mentally ill members of her immediate family.

This poignant telling had many heartaches but also radiated of hope, courage and the power of love and resiliency. It deserves all the accolades it is receiving.

I want to thank Celadon Books and NetGalley for gifting me a Kindle version in exchange for an honest review.

While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger

If you are struggling with your mental health or know someone who is, I’d highly recommend reading Meg Kissinger’s memoir While You Were Out. It is amazing to see how far society has come in talking about and dealing with mental illness but it’s also sad to see how society has such a long way to go. In the 1960’s, when the book takes place, mental illness was not talked about as there was so much shame and stigma associated with mental illness. Unfortunately Meg Kissinger’s family was no different. Meg’s mum would suddenly disappear for days and months at a time and Meg had no clue where her mother was. It simply wasn’t talked about. Eventually it comes to light that Meg’s mum suffers from anxiety and depression and her father from Mania. You combined that with violence and drinking and you have a rather toxic environment for a child to grow up in. But despite all the turmoil, tragedy and heart ache in Megs life, she pulls through and becomes a journalist writing about her own families struggles with mental health and also the flaws in the American Mental Health system.

This memoir is extremely heavy and is definitely triggering so I would highly recommend not going into this book blind and also reading it over time.

I never like to give a rating for a memoir as it’s someone’s life story and not a piece of fiction. I will say it was an excellent book and very informative.

Thank you to Celadon Books and NetGalley for my advanced readers copy of While you Were Out in exchange for my honest review.

Pub Date: September 5th, 2023

Upon reading the description, I knew I needed to read this one - thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the gifted copy!

First of all, I'm in awe of the author's ability to share her/her family's story and all the trauma that occurred. It couldn't have been easy. I thought it was clever that the first parts of the book focused on her family's struggles, and the last part of the memoir was more investigative journalism-focused and provided statistics and information about mental illness and suicide.

However, it did feel like the memoir was a bit long and overly detailed in places.

Overall, I recommend this memoir.

Although I received an an advance digital copy of this one, I chose to wait until I could get my hands on the audio since that is my preferred format for memoirs. This one started a bit slow, but once I settled into Kissinger's story-telling style, I was very moved by her story. I think the way Kissinger (as well as her siblings) allowed all of the dark and difficult aspects of their pasts to be shared was poignant, and the healing that Meg embarks on while writing this memoir is very hopeful in the end. If you are someone whose family is entrenched in secrets and not addressing past traumas, I think you will find this to be a compelling memoir.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me a free advanced copy of this book to read and review.

We Are Too Many is a memoir that is laughable, unbelievable, funny, crazy and sad story. it's a fast-paced read that you can read in a day. There are some very impactful parts. I loved reading about her gradual growth it's very inspiring to read about. the way it was written (format) was creative and funny. I would recommend this book to anyone because it was a great read and inspiring.

This book masterfully explores families and mental illness. Filled with sadness and heartache, I couldn’t recommend this more strongly. It is so important.

Meg Kissinger beautifully shares her emotional story of growing up in a family fighting mental illness during a time when the topic was not openly discussed. While the topics may not be easy to read, this book is not to be missed.

Very interesting read! The book pulled me in from the start and I wanted to see how it ended. Try it and see if this book is for you!

I couldn't put this one down, though ostensibly - I'm not even interested in mental illness as a book-length subject. II's Kissinger's candid and poignant treatment of her own struggles as well as her family's that compels the reader,. Plus, her direct, unflinching prose moves quickly without any condescension regarding the subject. The sympathy with which she treats her parents (and their backstories) is admirable, as well as her determination to help others.

Thank you NetGalley and Celadon Books for the advance reader copy of While You Were Out. I particularly enjoyed this book as the author talks about her growing up Catholic in Chicago which I did as well. Nixon writes about her large family and how mental health impacted multiple members. More importantly, Nixon then shares her journalistic work on mental health to provide both the big picture, as well as the intimate impact on her family. I appreciate Nixon's honest portrayal of mental health concerns, and her willingness to share her family's story to educate the general population. Well written, enjoyable and educational at the same time.

cw: suicide, mental illness, substance abuse, abortion, antisemitism

okay i have a lot of varying thoughts about this one

this book is an intimate portrait of one family’s struggle with mental illness and the lack of a mental health system to support their health and wellbeing. how difficult it is to crawl your way from underneath the suffocating weight of a mental health condition that is left either untreated or mistreated. about how a family scrambles to understand how to support each other with minimal resources and no adequate professional support. it’s an important read, bringing life and humanity to the impact of the lack of a comprehensive mental health system

but… i felt no emotional connection to any of the family members, or the author. and the author continually insinuates there was violence and physical abuse in the home, but never processes it or its connection on her and her siblings mental well-being

and i think the author tried to minimize the extent of her brother’s antisemitism by equating this behavior to a symptom of his mental illness; it felt very problematic

thank you @netgalley and @celadonbooks for the copy!

I'm sorry that Meg Kissinger and her family had to go through the trauma of losing a loved one to mental illness not once but twice. Most people won't be able to cope with one untimely death in family, but she had to push through two in addition to bunch of other instances where mental illness taking its toll on all family members. I'm glad that every sibling eventually found something that kept them grounded and connected.

We look at these missed opportunities to help people who struggle a lot usually from their family's and friends' perspective. But do we really understand how hopeless feel unless we went through something like this ourselves? I appreciated Kissinger's effort to show how debilitating it had been for her sister and brother before made the decision for themselves. All of that was a lot for a family to handle, but I think Kissinger family benefited from being a large family by having more shoulders to lean on.

When we started reading The Crucible in HS, the teacher asked us what would be the worst torture you could think of (what a question that was). As a person who manage to get papercuts frequently, my mind went there and I said probably paper cut on very sensitive skin, like eye. But I never thought, someone would be able to get it themselves. So tell me Meg Kissinger, how did you manage to get paper cut on your retina?!?!?

Title: While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
Author: Meg Kissinger
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.50
Pub Date: September 5, 2023

I received a complimentary eARC from Celadon Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. #Gifted #Ad

T H R E E • W O R D S

Candid • Traumatic • Impactful

📖 S Y N O P S I S

While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.

💭 T H O U G H T S

I have a keen interest in books (particularly memoirs) that tackle and advocate for mental health issues, so I was grateful to be offered an advanced reader copy of While You Were Out. I was unaware of who Meg Kissinger was ahead of picking this one up, yet I quickly came to hold a special place for her and her siblings in my heart.

Meg tells her family's story in a moving, yet professional manner. She combines personal memories and experiences with steadfast research to deliver a heartfelt exposé of a system failing the most vulnerable of people. From a young age the Kissinger family was faced with continual heartbreak, and yet somehow Meg is still here to tell their story. This is a memoir that will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will make you empathize. And it will make you angry at a system designed to fail.

While You Were Out is an important and impactful addition to the growing list of mental health literature. I could not put it down. It's a memoir I won't soon forget, and will be continually recommending. If you do decide to pick this one up, I'd definitely suggest proceeding with care for yourself.

📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• memoir readers
• fans of Educated and/or The Glass Castle
• mental health advocates

⚠️ CW: death, death of parent, death of sibling, child death, grief, mental illness, anxiety, depression, schizophrenia/psychosis, panic attacks/disorders, self-harm, suicide, suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, addiction, drug use, drug abuse, alcohol, alcoholism, forced institutionalization, cancer, sexual assault, pregnancy, abortion, cursing, antisemitism, violence

🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S

"This is what telling your story can do, she told them. It can bring the dead back to life - not in the same way but as a kind of transformation. It doesn't take away the injury, but it can give you a feeling of power when you are in control of the narrative. The balance is shifted back to you. There's new life, resurrected."

This is a difficult book to review since I can’t say the usual “I enjoyed reading this book because…”. Instead I can say this was an important book to read from someone who witnessed severe mental illness in her family.
I read the book in small pieces to avoid skimming through the difficult parts. There was only so much I could absorb and reflect on.
Kissinger’s focus seemed to be on how so many parts of the mental illness puzzle failed her family - society, family, law enforcement, and the medical community.
Thanks to #Celadon and #Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this ARC.

This biography is the often heartbreaking story of Meg Kissinger's family and the mental illness that plagued them all. My father died by suicide---I wondered if this book would be a comfort or a dangerous path for me. It was a little of both. It brought back some painful memories but also many healing moments. Thank you, Meg for being so open with the issues that so many want to brush under the rug with shame. W But I think many readers will love it. We need more honest books like this.

“But I was learning that you can’t fast-forward through grief or read a CliffsNotes version of your life and expect to make peace with it.”

What a sad, sad book. Thank you Netgalley and Celadon Books for my copy of WHILE YOU WERE OUT by Meg Kissinger, an intimate family portrait of mental illness in an era of silence. Out now!

It follows the Kissinger family, who from the outside seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, they were highly involved with their Catholic church and spent summers at Lake Michigan and loved each other.
Behind closed doors, mental illness was rearing its head. The mother was heavily medicated and in and out of the hospital for anxiety and depression. The father was manic and prone to violence. Multiple children were diagnosed with bipolar disorder and chronic depression. Two children end up taking their own lives and Meg details her famiy’s shame and silence around these acts.

I think anyone who grew up in the late 1900’s and early 2000’s know the exact feeling. Sadness? Wanting to die? Wanting to give up? You just don’t talk about it. This book is incredibly intimate and a devastating portrayal of what not talking about it does to a family. Kissinger goes into details with her investigative journalism background about our country’s flawed mental health care system and the consequences of deep-rooted shame and ignorance of trauma.

I loved this book. It is so important and it is incredible that Kissinger found the strength to put it all out in the open to hopefully help another family find the courage to talk about it. What a thought-provoking memoir, highly recommend.

This memoir, by journalist Meg Kissinger, recounts growing up as one of eight siblings, in a family where both parents and many of the siblings suffered to one degree or another from mental illnesses, addiction, and suicide. Starting in the 1960s and continuing to the present day, the book details some truly wild things that happened in her family, and very sad ones, and how the culture of silence in a time where people simply didn’t talk about these things affected them all.

And wow, what a story it is, as her family was as colorful as it was troubled. I will say towards the back third or so the book started moving faster through the years, and focusing more on Kissinger’s journalism career where she did much investigative reporting on mental illness and treatment. However, the last chapter, in which she brings us up to speed on the current state of her family, how she decided to write this book with their cooperation and help, and how it was therapeutic for her, was incredibly moving and really tied the whole thing together.

While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger Interesting insight into a family plagued by mental illness. Some parts were hard to read but the book was well written and brought to light the many roadblocks into the treatment of mental illness.
Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the opportunity to preview the book.

Thanks to netgalley for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

I appreciate how difficult this book must have been for the author to write. I also hope it was cathartic for them! It feels difficult “rating” a memoir so I’m going mostly on writing style here rather than the story (her family’s life). It was very journalistic and I was hoping to have more of an emotional connection to her story. I did find the discussion of mental health and advocacy for treatment to be a very important part of this book! Otherwise, it was just a slow start and difficult for me to get into.

I had put off reading this one, waiting for the right mood. I was expecting an emotionally heavy and draining story. I didn’t get that here at all.

We start out with excessive detail about the author’s family, going back to her grandparents’ lives, how her parents met, etc. Then we moved on to a list of her sisters and brothers, how they related—or didn’t— to one another. We were given lots of surface information that could describe any family. I’m sorry, but it wasn’t all that interesting. I wanted to go deeper.

Then we got to a point where something awful happened to one of her siblings, and I felt… nothing. I mean, I felt bad objectively, as I would for any family in a similar situation, but that’s it. Even worse was that I couldn’t tell if the author felt anything. Of course, I know intellectually that she did, but I didn’t get any sense of emotion from her writing.

And this was the problem throughout the book. The author is a journalist, and that background followed her into this memoir. The writing is a recitation of facts, minus the emotion. I read memoirs for the emotional connection, and unfortunately that’s entirely missing here.

But this is just my opinion, and the author is certainly entitled to tell her story any way she wants. Lots of people have loved this book, and you might as well.

*I received an eARC from Celadon, via NetGalley.*