This was a good memoir, but as somebody who has an interest in mental illness & health & it’s history, it was nothing new to me. But that’s how it is, so many people struggle with these illnesses & come up against a horrible system that is essentially working against them. It’s heartbreaking, but it wasn’t as intense as others I’ve read, it focuses very much on how stigmatized mental illness was in the past & how important it is to be able to ask for help when in the throes of the illness bc it’s not possible to come out of it without help.

The writing was decent but not mind blowing. This was a solid 3.5 for me but for others who have not read as extensively on the subject this will likely be eye opening & a higher rating. It just was nothing new for me.

WOW! What a read! This book was something that was so addictive, I just could not put it down. While the content was heavy, it still made me want to keep reading.

This was a beautifully told tale of the impact and trauma of growing up with alcoholic and mentally ill parents and how one can stop the cycle of intergenerational trauma thru personal healing, forgiveness and love. Meg's investigative reporting background made her a perfect candidate to research her family history and getting buy-in from all her siblings was so gracious.

I recommend While You Were Out with some cautions. This book is Kissinger's story of her family and their journeys through mental health, including very specifically the deaths by suicide of two of her siblings. Meg Kissinger's background is as a reporter who spent years telling the stories of our failed mental health system in the US and more specifically in Milwaukee county, an area I know well. This book would be a good compliment to Hidden Valley Road (and also Evicted by Matthew Desmond, which also looks at failings in Milwaukee and is mentioned in the book). This was really moving, and appropriately hard to read at times, and also an excellent look at the ways both individuals and the systems fail those experiencing mental health crises.

This memoir was definitely a tough one to get through if you’re sensitive to certain triggers. Please read them.

Meg Kissinger grew up as one of eight children. Meg had a rough upbringing having to witness the people most closest to her display symptoms of mental illness. Not only that, but she personally had to suffer the consequences.

Reading this memoir, I felt like it was hard to connect due to a lot of random family discussions in the beginning. A lot of unnecessary filler conversations. The middle and ending was Kissinger on full-blown journalist mode. Although I love how educated and informed this author is on mental illness, I felt like I was reading a whole other book. I was left with many questions overall.

I do agree with many things discussed, though. This country had the opportunity to prioritize mental health many years ago, and nothing. This memoir is just another reminder how this country keeps failing its people every day.

Thank you so much NetGalley, Celadon Books for inviting me to read this ARC, and the author for being so brave and wanting to make a difference in this world. Your bravery and determination doesn’t go unnoticed.

Find me on Instagram! @ coffeebreakwithrachel

This book was written to discuss the impacts of mental health crises on one family, while exploring what can be changed for all. It reads well, although it can be sad at times.

The best kind of journalist writing — easy to read (despite the intense subject matter) and informative. I wish there had been more about what it was like for the author and her siblings to make the decision to have and raise children given their family history.

I am generally a fan of memoirs, especially those that involve trauma, but I seek the emotional heart of those stories. I understand that Meg Kissinger has a background as a journalist and that she used her investigative skills to tell her family’s story. I appreciate that she was driven by fact finding, while looking to avoid false memories, but this felt like she was reporting on a life, rather than telling the story of HER life, and that’s just not what I want from a book like this.

I grew up with a mentally ill mother and alcoholic (with likely undiagnosed mental illness) father. I can relate to and even feel empathy for the experiences of the Kissinger family. But I want a memoir that makes me feel, even if it hurts to be right in the midst of it all with the writer, and this just wasn’t it.

I am immensely grateful to Celadon Books and NetGalley for my copy. All opinions are my own.

As a mental health provider, getting more insight from those who struggle with severe mental illness and their loved ones was moving. The need for mental health advocacy was made clear and the author’s tragic history was impactful. This was a well written memoir which needs to be read by more in our society!

Thank you to Celadon Books and Goodreads for allowing me to read an ARC copy for my unbiased review.

Award winning journalist Meg Kissinger grew up in a family of ten. As you can imagine, a certain level of chaos wasn’t unheard of. Here she shares her heart wrenching story of growing up in 1960’s Chicago, living what appeared to be a fairly charmed life. But secrets were often swept under the rug and they were definitely not acknowledged. Anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder were all there.

When the family is hit with not one, but two suicides, it’s time for the siblings to speak up and share, not matter how painful. We see not only a family ravaged by grief and trauma, but how the mental healthcare system in our country is failing so many still.

While it’s not an easy read (and please reach out to someone if you’re struggling), it gives you a look into how mental illness affects not only the person suffering, but everyone who loves and cares for them. Kissinger is very candid about her family’s experiences, making it one of the most powerful stories I’ve read. There’s still a stigma surrounding mental health, and stories like this will hopefully open dialogues.

Thank you for giving me the chance to read this intense memoir! It was a difficult read for me because my mother suffers from mental illness. The story was relatable and well told, with strong, personal characters you wanted each to win.
The title is perfect and relevant. Thank you again!

Let me start with a trigger warning. This book is most definitely not to be read by just anyone. There is ample discussion of suicide and mental illness, with perhaps more details than necessary. However, this is an incredibly important and poignant piece that weaves one family’s tragic history with the overarching tragedy of the history of the mental health system, or lack thereof, in the US.

As someone who loves Jesus and knows, as Lysa TerKeurst brilliantly writes, that we are living this “life between two gardens,” I know that there is some brokenness that cannot be healed on this side of heaven because of sin. However, I also realize that we are called to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, and this book is like watching the film of a football game and coming up with plays to do things differently next time.

If you do read this, please discuss it with someone, as it is a difficult read and there is a lot to process and unpack.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book for me to read in exchange for my honest review.

I enjoyed this memoir. Very thought provoking with many memorable parts. Would recommend to anyone who enjoys nonfiction.

Meg Kissinger's "While You Were Out" is a remarkable literary exploration of mental health and its profound impact on families, specifically delving into the intricate web of generational trauma. With its gripping narrative, masterful storytelling, and a surprising dash of humor, this book is a profound testament to the power of literature to address critical issues while keeping readers thoroughly engaged.

The heart of this memoir lies in its deep examination of mental health. Kissinger takes her readers on a journey through the lives of her and her siblings, using their personal experiences to shed light on the often misunderstood and stigmatized world of mental illness. The narrative is both compassionate and unflinchingly honest, tackling complex issues such as depression, anxiety, addiction, and suicide with a sensitivity that is both refreshing and thought-provoking.

One of the most striking aspects of "While You Were Out" is Kissinger's exceptional writing style. Her prose is not just well-crafted; it is enchanting. She possesses the rare gift of weaving words together in a way that effortlessly draws readers into the story, making it nearly impossible to put the book down. Her vivid descriptions and evocative language create a world that is not just seen but felt, allowing readers to empathize deeply with the characters and their struggles.

What truly sets this novel apart, however, is its ability to interlace moments of humor into the otherwise heavy narrative. While exploring the profound impacts of mental health and generational trauma, Kissinger infuses her storytelling with wit and levity. This unexpected humor adds depth to the characters and provides a refreshing counterbalance to the weighty subject matter. It is a testament to the author's storytelling prowess that she can address such serious themes while maintaining an engaging and, at times, even light-hearted tone.

I fell in love with the Kissinger family and the stories of them growing up together were so touching. The author really detailed some painful moments in her family’s’ history shedding a brilliant light on mental illness and how it affects families for generations to come. I loved the authors advice about not being afraid to ask someone about their mental health struggles and be with them in their pain and speaking honestly and openly. I love that this families home was filled with love. Yes there was pain and tragedy and trauma but most importantly there was love. I thought this memoir was extremely well done and an important work that needs to be read.

Another excellent mental illness memoir. I fell in love with the family from the first pages. Kissinger's writing settles the reader squarely in the midst of this vibrant family. While I understood the utility of her journalistic voice as she advocated for changes in the mental health system, my favorite parts were the stories from her family life. I was grateful for this peek inside such a colorful, complicated, richly loving family.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Celadon Books for gifting me a digital ARC of this beautifully-written memoir by Meg Kissinger - 5 stars!

Meg grew up in the 1960s in a wealthy suburb of Chicago, one of eight children. Looking in, life seemed to be perfect. But inside, it was a different story. Her maniac father was prone to violence and her mother was medicated and hospitalized for anxiety and depression. The thread of mental illness wove itself through her siblings as well, even though no one could discuss any of it. Meg took her personal struggles and made it her professional mission - to expose our country's flawed mental health care.

This book touched me on so many levels and I couldn't put it down. The first part of the book, focusing on Meg's family, was so engrossing. The family used humor as a coping mechanism and that humor softened the edges of reading about such tragedy. The second half of the book focused more on the failures of our country's and society's approach to mental illness. While the book definitely focuses on a difficult subject matter, and will deeply touch those who have been affected by mental illness, there was still a lightness and hope for the future in this book. I also loved Meg's strong Catholic faith and appreciated her including that part of her story. A must read!


While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.

In While You Were Out investigative journalist Meg Kissinger explores the lack of an effective mental healthcare system in the U.S. through her own family's struggles. Kissinger was one of eight children in a Catholic family on Chicago's North Shore. While they're a typical, if dysfunctional, family in many ways, mental illness runs rampant through their members and whether it be the time (largely the largely the 60s/70s/80s) or the place (their Catholic community) there is stigma to overcome and just a lack of options for good care even for a relatively affluent family. Later, Kissinger uses her platform as a newspaper reporter to investigate and highlight the lack of policy and infrastructure we're still dealing with today.

A thoughtful and compelling blend of memoir and investigative reporting.

"While You Were Out" serves as journalist's Meg Kissinger's memoir, shedding light on her upbringing and family and the underlying motivation for much of her investigative work on mental illness. Growing up in the middle of 7 siblings in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg's upbringing could have followed the typical American storyline but became wrought with tragedy and loss, losing her sister Nancy and later her brother Danny to suicide, as well as both of her parents, Holmer and Jean, to cancer. Beyond just a simple recounting of her family's past, however, she looks into the underlying events and factors that contributed to these devastating losses - from the societal pressures for women to have large families, the unrestrained prescribing of drugs like Valium, the alcoholism that both of her parents succumbed to, and how overlooked and denied mental health and illness was during that time.

In full transparency, this is a difficult read. Looking back on this period of time, especially as a woman, is especially frustrating - Kissinger shares just how tumultuous her childhood was with parents barely managing their own mental health (one bipolar and manic, the other struggling with severe anxiety) that was only compounded by substance addiction. Especially as a child, she was helpless to do anything aside from watch her parents self-destruct and bear witness to the affect this had on her siblings. We follow as well the tragic domino effect of each loss within the family, and how inescapable grief and pain seemingly become as time goes on.

I really have to commend Meg Kissinger for not only sharing these dark, painful moments from her family's past, but taking these experiences and pivoting them into something good. Some of her initial work was deeply personal pieces about losing both a sister and brother to suicide, but she was also able to turn the spotlight onto other families and individuals who were struggling, highlighting the pitfalls and weaknesses of the public health system and the lack of understanding of mental illness by society as a whole. While this not a book that I would recommend to anyone given the myriad of topics covered, it is an eye-opening look into how severely mental illness can impact individuals beyond the one who's struggling, especially across families and society as a whole.

thank you Celadon for the complementary review copy as part of your Celadon reads program (via NetGalley). While You Were Out was a great read, one I am glad I had the chance to review. This is a tough but important memoir, I could connect with a few themes (Catholic upbringing, an extended family that doesn't talk about things such as feelings and emotions and alcohol use though certainly my life does not mimic the intense mental health challenges and loss in this memoir) so I really respected Meg Kissinger bravely offering not only her story but an open examination of how this country handles, and does not handle, mental health.

At a time when we truly need to address pandemic related mental health challenges, find spaces for more inclusive and trauma informed treatment and learning spaces, and when we collectively need to talk more openly about mental health and strain, While You Were Out is a welcome and necessary book to open dialogues.

If you are a reader who would find examination of mental health, alcoholism and related self harm and family dysfunction hard, this is a memoir not for you so read through content warnings and notes on this book ahead of time.

Thank you again to Celadon for this review copy, it is a valued memoir.

Meg Kissinger, an award winning journalist, generously shares her personal history of growing up in a well-to-do family with seven siblings that harbored secrets. Until circumstances brought them a certain notoriety. Her focus has been on the silence and shame that surrounds mental illness, hoping that her own experience will encourage readers to view sufferers of bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia with as much compassion and understanding as, say, cancer. This memoir honestly approaches life with the afflictions in the house, and how it was not acknowledged. In fact, when a beloved sister ends her own life, their father insists the family reply that it was the result of an accident.