🧠Book Review🧠
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Summary: Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard.

But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding―a heavily medicated mother hospitalized for anxiety and depression, a manic father prone to violence, and children in the throes of bipolar disorder and depression, two of whom would take their own lives. Through it all, the Kissingers faced the world with their signature dark humor and the unspoken family rule: never talk about it.
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Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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My Thoughts: I rarely read non fiction but I really enjoyed this one. It is a dark and heavy read. So proceed with caution. However I think this was important. It derailed life with a family history of mental Illness and really just broke my heart. I did miss out on all the wonderful photographs in this one because it was an ebook ARC. However my only flaw is that I feel like this is marketed as a analysis of how the mentally Ill are in a flawed system of healthcare. I don’t think the author really touched on that idea until the last 15% of the book. Overall it was fascinating thank you so much @celadonbooks and @netgalley for the advanced copy.

WHILE YOU WERE OUT
Meg Kissinger

WHILE YOU WERE OUT is part memoir, part investigative journalism, and altogether a reckoning.

WHILE YOU WERE OUT takes the reader through Meg's family history. Specifically her family's ongoing battles with mental health over decades, over generations.

We learn who in her family suffered. We learn how they suffered and we learn how Meg's family dealt with it. The good, the bad, and everything in between.

There is a lot of trauma discussed within the pages. There are tough conversations about suicide, addiction, church and faith, the government's role in everything, and the human costs associated with ignoring the problem.

At its heart- it’s heartfelt. Taking a subject that is hard to talk about and putting a face and a name to the statistics that are easy to ignore.

This book is for everyone. Those who suffer and those who endure the suffering through loved ones.

Thanks to Netgalley and Celadon Books for the advanced copy!

WHILE YOU WERE OUT...⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger is the story of one family, of many families, of us all. It is a beautiful, necessary and hopeful memoir of growing up in a family with mental illness and addiction. It is also about how society has let the weakest fall through the cracks…

(Be sure to check out content warnings before reading it if that is something you need to do).

Kissinger chronicles her life from even before she was born, in order to understand the beginnings of the chaos she experienced. Growing up in a large Catholic family with parents who suffered from mental illness and substance abuse, in an era when this was extremely taboo and talk of suicide was hushed up, the family struggled to find answers and help but there was no functioning system in place. (And there still isn’t!) I was fascinated by Kissinger’s family stories. She wrote with painful honesty; the love and joy in her family was always there, even though they had to endure chaos and heartbreak again and again.

Kissinger became a successful investigative reporter, covering mental illness and exposing scandals of the health care system. After years of interviewing others, she realized it was time to face her own fears and feelings about growing up in this family (her siblings gave her their blessings to write this memoir.)

An important book on family and mental health, love, understanding, forgiveness and hope. This book opened my eyes to the reality so many families have to live with; it touched and opened my heart.

I wish everyone would read this book, especially those in a position of authority – if we all could unite and make mental health care a priority just think of what could be done…

While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger is a beautifully written story of this author’s family and their struggles with mental illness and alcoholism. This is a heart wrenching story that will tug very hard on your heartstrings. Ms. Kissinger gives an intimate view of her families struggles and challenges of these two very misunderstood illnesses. This is a very emotional story. The idea of writing about you and your families mental illness is commendable. In this day and age it is no longer a hidden illness/disease. It is one that should be brought out and dealt with properly. Ms. Kissinger brings light to it all. I highly recommend this powerful story, it will stay with you long after you are finished.

Thank you NetGalley, Celadon Books and Meg Kissinger for this very poignant story. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.
#netgalley #celadonbooks. #megkissinger
#whileyouwereout. #mentalillness. #arc
#celadonbookinfluencer

A really fascinating and intimate look of a family heavily affected by mental illness. Kissinger was so open and vulnerable and the generational issues at play made this a huge win for me. Appearances aren't everything, and While You Were out really illuminates that. This is also set where I grew up and I could relate in many ways to a lot of what was portrayed about the community at large. Highly recommend this to people struggling and not struggling with mental illness alike!

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for providing me an ARC of this memoir in exchange for my honest review.

This is a very honest and heartfelt memoir about family, heavy mental health issues, and the lack of adequate services in our country for those who need it most. The author writes in a tone that is brutally honest and invites the reader into her family in a way that made me feel like I really knew each of her sibling and parents by the end of the book.

I enjoyed the first 2/3 of the book more than the last, simply because the author veered into a more journalistic style of writing at the end, and while it was very interesting and relevant, I preferred the style she used to tell her family story.

There are so many possible trigger warnings for this memoir, so I suggest looking those up before reading.

I read this book in 2 days, and was very engrossed in the author's story.

Thanks to Celadon for the eARC.
This might be one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Kissinger holds nothing back in hopes that sharing about familial and general mental illness will get more recognize and support that it desperately needs. While sharing about her family, she was honest with the good and the bad. There was such a perfect balance of touching family memories along with the dark, emotional parts of growing up in a family where there was a lot of mental illness present. She reflected in a way that made me empathize with her. She wasn't afraid to admit there were faults and what could've been done better. I think this was told at such a time that the honest reflections were able to be vulnerable and completely open with the reader. I applaud this family for their willingness to have their pain and trauma laid bare so that we readers hopefully are inspired to take or continue to take action for better mental health care reform in our country. It's not a memoir I will soon forget. I highly recommend the audio, too. While I started in print, the audio is read by Kissinger and it was powerful.

Very honest, emotionally touching memoir. Made me reflect more on my own family history and the struggles of previous generations.

A beautiful memoir with truth and honesty. Heartache when dealing with mental illness and their family.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

From the outside, Meg Kissinger’s big Catholic family appeared to have it all. Behind closed doors, her family was plagued by mental illness. With dark humor and deep vulnerability, Meg shares the story of her traumatic childhood in her memoir, WHILE YOU WERE OUT: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

After losing two of her siblings to suicide and reckoning with her parent’s debilitating mental illness, Meg pursued investigative journalism as a career to reconcile her trauma from the past and work to improve the systems that failed her family. Readers who enjoyed The Glass Castle won’t want to miss WHILE YOU WERE OUT.

RATING: 4/5
PUB DATE: September 5, 2023

Many thanks to the publisher for an electronic ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This memoir is full of heartache and sadness. The Kissinger family suffered from many forms of mental illness in their family of 10. The devastation suffered by the mentally ill and emotionally unstable reaches all races, religions, demographics and genders. It doesn’t get talked about near enough, which is why this book is so important.

Meg Kissinger writes with a heavy heart, yet manages to inject some humor into her family’s struggles. It is brilliantly written and I highly recommend it. Thank you, NetGalley and Celadon Books for the ARC.

**Many thanks to NetGalley, @CeladonBooks, and Meg Kissinger for an ARC of this book!**

Meg Kissinger grew up in a veritable whirlwind of uncertainty: as one of EIGHT children, life was always an adventure. Though she had two loving parents, the duo presented one side of their personalities to the outside world, and an entirely DIFFERENT side to their family. Meg's mother recognized the presence of nascent mental health issues prior to their marriage, but perhaps didn't realize the severity until several years later...at the same time her husband's hot temper turned their home life upside down.

In the meantime, a couple of Meg's siblings started displaying symptoms of mental health issues, including bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation and everything begins to escalate. When Meg actually LOSES one of her siblings for good, the situation reaches a fever pitch. Meg pursues a career in journalism, desperate to uncover the truth behind the nature vs. nurture of mental illness and to make a difference in the way it is handled in our country. Can she finally urge her siblings to break their silence and help one another cope, all while having the bravery to share her story...with the world?

As a staunch advocate for mental illness awareness, education, and acceptance, I was very intrigued by the premise of this memoir and hoping for an emotional and impactful experience reading this book. Things were a bit slow at the start, with a VERY exhaustive family history, including discussions of the background of Kissinger's grandparents (which I'm not sure was very relevant) but I hoped after this initial info dump, things would pick up. The introduction mentions the information included in the memoir was compiled from interviews and the like, so what I was hoping to read WERE excerpts of interviews and the like to help get me into the minds and hearts of the members of this family.

But instead of feeling like I could CONNECT with Meg and her family members, I very much felt like an outsider looking in. The detail in the first half of the memoir was just TOO much for me. Instead of opening a window into her past and the thoughts and emotions that helped to shape her, I felt like I was reading very exhaustive, long-winded stories with details that didn't necessarily make an impact. I felt very sad for Meg and the situation she was in, but this was based more on the straight facts of her life than writing that showed any emotion. I'm not sure if this is just because of KIssinger's background as a journalist, but as a huge feeler, I was hoping to connect to the tales she was telling...but I felt the age gap rather dramatically. Though I'm certainly not as young as she was experiencing some of these events, I was very aware of the author's age at the time she penned this book, and in this case, it wasn't a good thing.

At the beginning of the next part however, there was a dramatic flip: Kissinger went into pure journalist mode, and I felt like I was reading a different book. Her exploration of the background of the trajectory of mental health programs in this country and the roadblocks that popped up along the way was engaging AND infuriating. We had such a potential for change in this country many years ago, and instead of moving away from mental health institutions in a pragmatic way, so many of these people were instead funneled from institutions into the prison system, or ended up on the street. THIS was my great takeaway from this book, and rather than a memoir, I was inspired to check out some of Kissinger's journalism pieces on this very subject.

While I applaud using this forum to work through the pain that Kissinger dealt with over the years, as a reader, I was missing the emotional connection I was so hoping to find, especially dealing with such sensitive subject matter. I think a book focused on her decision to WRITE this book would have been more interesting: how did she get from there to here? When I read a memoir, I tend to have the best experience as a reader when I feel as though I know the author far better after reading it. But after reading this particular memoir, much like a therapist at a withdrawn patient's very FIRST session, I felt like I had been left with FAR more questions than answers.

3.5 stars

#WhileYouWereOut #CeladonReads

This is a book I think everyone needs to read, perhaps me most of all. The author is a few years older than my parents and from the Midwest, but like her, I am the very Irish daughter of drinkers with a German last name. Like her, though not to the same tragic effect, mental illness and addiction run in my family. In my family, I am probably the sickest, but I have managed to survive after 25+ years of mostly active mental illness, a feat in our poor “system.” This book made me think and feel many different things, but the main ones were relief at being seen and relief at the improvements in quality of life for the mentally ill that have come for some of us (and dismay for those of us who continue to become unhoused as a result of their mental illness). To sum up, this is a wonderful memoir that I highly recommend.

Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book.

Kissinger held nothing back in this book and shared all of the painful and tragic parts of her childhood and life. She honored her late sister and brother by telling their stories, the good and the bad. couldn’t imagine writing this book was easy but it was well worth it. This was a very heavy read but such an important one.

This was a brutally honest look inside a family of 10, all struggling with their own battles with mental health. All members of the family were shamed in to silence; they were unable to recognize the signs of mental illness and unwilling to talk about it. This memoir is heavy on topics of generational trauma, depression, suicide, and death.

I really enjoyed Kissinger’s story telling. She does a wonderful job bringing to light how taboo the topic of mental health was not that long ago and, because of that, the limited resources that were available for the treatment of mental health.
This is THE mental health memoir of 2023

Thank you Celadon Books and Meg Kissinger for an arc of this memoir. It was heartbreaking and inspiring to read about how mental health was viewed in the late 20th century and is even still viewed today. I grew up in a big family and I always enjoy reading how other large families navigate. This story was very raw and eye opening. At times I couldn't believe how in depth the author discussed her family but I also think its important to discuss these topics specifically seeing how it affected her overall family unit. It was inspiring to see how Meg used her journalism to fight for better mental care. I would recommend this memoir!

This memoir was a hard read at times, but equally hard to put down. Meg Kissinger does a fantastic job of shining a light on mental illness. Her personal accounts of living with immediate family members struggling with alcoholism and mental illness will stay with me for a long time.

I thoroughly enjoyed While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger, a detailed history of her large, midwestern family's experience with mental illness. While I am an (elder) millennial, I saw a lot of my dad's family in their story - he grew up in a large midwestern family and you have the sense at the time things were just "not talked about". There is a lot of mystery there that I dare not unpack. Meg Kissinger, as a journalist, documents many of these things not discussed and her family's devastating journey to confront them. I appreciated the author's honesty and humor. Five stars!!

Meg Kissinger’s While You Were Out is such a powerful book. She has been such a loud voice, such an advocate for adequate, competent, compassionate mental health care, has never hesitated to speak up about the failures of the system, and reading this book makes it clear just how personal it is for her. She is not a random do-gooder working in the abstract; she has experienced the workings of the mental health system from all angles, experienced the frustration of knowing help is unlikely and a cure is next to impossible. All of that is strong and powerful enough, but when she reveals her own family dynamics, issues and tragedies occurring over so many years it becomes a book that you absolutely cannot turn away from.

Her portrayal of growing up in the 1960s is stunningly accurate. We envied all those other families that had it all together, who weren’t as “nuts” as our own families were. Financially comfortable, nicer homes, nicer clothes, and, we were certain, nicer parents. When somebody gossiped about one of those perfect family members that did something scandalous we just thought “oh well, every family has one crazy person” and we didn’t feel quite so envious for a little while.

We weren’t very compassionate, either. Nobody needed to know our shameful secrets. And mental illness was definitely something you were supposed to be ashamed of. We didn’t even say mental illness, and certainly not depressed or suffering from trauma. Anxiety? What was that? If your husband had a good job and you were so lucky you could stay home with your children, what on earth did you have to be anxious about. Everybody drank. If you couldn’t control it or cope that was on you and you’d better keep it hidden.

While I’m not sure there are many families that could match trauma for trauma, tragedy for tragedy, dysfunction for dysfunction with Kissinger’s family, it has a familiar feel to it and brought out a lot of “aha” moments of understanding. It is heartbreaking to watch the story of her family unfold. From the distance of time it’s easy to wonder why her parents didn’t stop drinking, didn’t get help, couldn’t see how so many of their children were seriously suffering and how every one of their children had emotional problems. But we didn’t talk about those things, didn’t even have the words, and furthermore, we were terrified that saying it out loud would somehow make the worst thing imaginable happen.

Thanks to Celadon Books for providing an advance copy of While You Were Out to me as a Celadon Book Reader via NetGalley. It is thought-provoking, heart-breaking and hopeful. Well-written, detailed, riveting. I voluntarily leave this review; all opinions are my own.

I don’t have much to say except that this was a 5 star from me. It shows a family in pain but with unbelievable amount of resilience. As someone who has a family member with bipolar, I could relate to the vibrations that makes in a family… and that’s only one piece of her story.

Books like this crack my heart but find a place there forever.
highly recommend.