The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin

“I have done lots of good in my life, and I have also done lots of bad. One doesn’t negate the other.”

This book was so beautifully written, drawing you in from page 1. The author writes from her heart, not afraid or ashamed to tell her life story in this touching memoir.
Lara is a college graduate, a business owner, mother of 4 boys, playing the role of soccer mom and PTA mom while trying to support a drug habit. She steals from neighbors and friends, using credit cards that don’t belong to her to support her and her husband’s habit. She is one step away from losing her home and her youngest son from her second husband. She is running from the authorities who are trying to track her down.
Ultimately, Lara winds up caught and incarcerated, along with her husband. By that time, she had 32 felony convictions and had to spend a year in prison. She details her life in prison and how she earned the name “Mama Love”. She talks about having to submit to drug court requirements and fighting to regain custody of her youngest son.
When Lara discovers the prison library, this becomes her new high. She begins to write short stories while incarcerated and discovers her voice.
Lara is an amazing individual. She was an inspiration to those she meets along journey. She begins her outside life as a ghost writer, eventually meeting the Dalai Lama , Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Oprah. One thing that she wanted to accomplish was to see who she was on the inside. In the end, she states “there is no other person I’d rather be than who I am”.
I am looking forward to reading more by Lara Love Hardin.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for allowing me to read an ARC of The Many Lives of Mama Love in exchange for my honest thoughts.

Even though the description kind of gives away the story – I was sucked into this book almost immediately, and the intrigue did not stop until the last page!

Hardin talks briefly about her childhood, and how her real addiction has always been escapism in any form. But we soon dive into her adult life near the time of her arrest, when she has four boys – three from her first husband and one with her current husband – and a large house on a cul-de-sac. Her current husband and she are both drug users, and are increasingly selling off random things in their house to fund their mutual habit.

After their arrest, they are sent to separate jails (for men and women). They are told they only have one year to reclaim custody of their child, and have a long list of requirements to do that. But how can they even start on that list when they don’t even have a trial date set? While Lara goes through detox and gets clean for a while, her husband’s mom bails him out and he is free and using again quickly.

My biggest disappointment with her story is that, when the husband bails her out, she immediately starts using again, too. She is just too attached to him as her savior in this phase, and lets him call the shots easily, even though it threatens her ability to regain any rights to see her sons.

After sentencing, they are separate and behind bars again, and she gets clean again. This time, it sticks. She still struggles with the idea of separating from her husband, although multiple people tell her that his behavior will threaten their chances with Child Protective Services. Since his mom has money, though, he still ends up out before her, and off the hook for the restitution they have to pay back. She eventually does kick him to the curb, but that took a LOT for her to get to.

I think this next phase of the book was the most interesting and heartbreaking to me, as someone who has never been to jail myself. She is now a single mom with no car, who has to try to get a full time job to show that she can be a responsible adult – while also navigating three different legal systems that have different (and sometimes overlapping) requirements of her. Any of these can call her in for a random drug test at any time, and she has three hours to complete it. (How is she going to do that while she’s at work? Or without a car?) This part was frustrating, and showed why it’s so hard for many people to successfully re-enter society after a stint in jail. It’s like the system is set up for them to fail.

Thankfully for Lara, she finds a very forgiving and flexible boss. In fact, he’s a book editor/publisher who is working with Archbishop Desmond Tutu on a book about forgiveness – so even though her past is problematic, this boss feels like he owes her a shot so that he can practice what he preaches.

This launches her into the book publishing world, and the opportunity to ghostwrite memoirs with a lot of interesting people. I was happy that she did not shy away from naming the people and books she actually worked with in this phase, because it was fascinating to me. In addition to the actual writing, she gets to travel, meet with interesting people, and even meet Oprah!

This book is beautifully written and painfully honest. I work in child welfare (CPS is how it’s referred in this book) and books like this are why I do the work I do. I don’t know if Lara’s caseworker was her partner towards reunification but that’s the caseworker I strive to be. One of the best memoirs I’ve read in a long time! I can definitely tell how Lara became a best selling New York Times author because she has a talent with words. Lara Love was a soccer mom hiding an addiction she fueled with theft until police come to her home and turn her life upside down. This book is her journey from arrest to healing. This book is about being human, making mistakes and then picking up and doing our best to fix them. This book is about trauma and forgiveness, especially self forgiveness. Definitely a must read memoir.

Having just finished a very harrowing, graphic fictional account of a man who was sex trafficked and abused (among other things) as a teenager, I was expecting this book to be a lot harsher than it was. It's basically Orange Is the New Black. It's been a minute since I read OITNB but white woman incarcerated, do we really need another one? I'd rather hear from women of color who have it a hell of a lot harder than a "model" mom turned drug addict who got caught but then learned from it and turned her life around (eventually). I had the same comments about OITNB, where I was expecting a grittier story and was kind of disappointed. Oops. Sorry fellow white woman. DJ was an idiot and utter trash and you were an idiot to keep going back to him and thinking he would save you (or his mommy). The whole thing was his fault and yet you kept falling for his tricks. I'm glad she turned herself around but being/turning into this white woman savior to incarcerated women of color was just blech.

I received a paperback and e-book ARC from Simon & Schuster and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

What a story, one that is raw, and honest, and powerful. The Many Lives of Mama Love is Lara Hardin’s memoir detailing a unique and uncommon life, one of reaching her bottom in the self-destructive world of substance abuse, struggling in a red-tape bound recovery system, and finally in regaining her worth and her sense of purpose.

Her journey was not pretty: racking up 32 felony convictions, spending a year in prison, submitting to drug court requirements, and fighting to regain custody of her youngest son. Her inner battles were worse as she did battle against the demons of shame and self-loathing, repaired a damaged reputation, and worked one day at a time to make amends and pay restitution for harm done. This story is a confession--bare-faced and candid—of Lara’s deeply personal journey. It is bold and cutting and, at times, hard to digest.

My favorite part was when Lara visited a prison library and found a place to escape that was better than all the pharmaceuticals she had tried. In books, in words, she began to make sense of her own life, honestly examining fears, emotions, and past traumas. A love for writing was born, and her career springboarded from the dark depths of incarceration. The worst that could ever happen was the very thing that led her to a life better than she could imagine. What a success story!

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥?
This was a fascinating and captivating memoir about how easily addiction can change the course of someone's life. I appreciated that this was someone who had, what's often considered to be, all of the social standing to stay out of addiction and legal issues and it still impacted her. It's a great reminder that addiction is not isolated to one race, class, or educational status.

On a personal level, I work with a lot of parents who have been incarcerated and are working with the system to get their children back or to get off of probation. I have seen first hand the way that our criminal justice system fails people with expectations that are near impossible to meet due to scheduling, lack of communication, and no support. I super appreciated this perspective.

𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠?
The only critique I have of this memoir is that Lara Love didn't give much acknowledgment to how her privilege as a white woman in the system was a part of her story. There is one small mention in the book about how if she were a woman of color she would've been in prison long before her release from county. I would have loved to see her unpack this more, and give acknowledgement to her cell mates who didn't have the same starting line.

𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫?
Yes! This is incredibly well written and captivating and speaks to some really important topics. The social commentary regarding criminal justice reform is done really well.

This is one of those books that sticks with you long after you’ve finished reading it. Love’s story of addiction and incarceration to success and self-forgiveness was one I couldn’t put down. Her story speaks to the much larger issue of the prison industrial complex in this country and just how much the system is designed to break people down and prevent them from ever being able to get back on their feet. Love holds a Master’s degree and is white and she is quick to acknowledge the privilege she has that so many others do not. You can’t help but root for Love and celebrate her accomplishments while feeling intense grief and anger at what she lost and the way that one’s past never really goes away.

Well-written with lots of insight into addiction and the consequences. Her life and career path while certainly difficult along the way are both mighty impressive today. I love the author's current perspective on life and it's many paths to get you where you are today. Something was missing for me to feel fully engaged in the story though hence my rating of 3.5 (rounded down to 3 for GRs).

Thank you to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for the e-ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.

I choose this book from NetGalley pretty much exclusively based on the title and then loved the description. The book was great. I marveled at Hardin's internal strength and how, despite some troubles, she was able to stay out of jail and put her family back together. I also marveled (thought not in a good way) about the injustices and inequities that inmates must face when they are released from jail. I also couldn't how my worlds collided when I read about Hardin ghostwriting Anthony Ray Hinton's memoir, The Sun Does Shine. I have not read that book, but I have read Just Mercy, Bryan Stevenson's account of his spending years attempting to get innocent people out of jail, including Anthony Ray Hinton. I am now looking forward to reading The Sun Does Shine. and Hardin's book has given me a lot to think about in terms of forgiveness and thankfulness.

This was a really well-written memoir. It was a sad (gut-wrenching at times, infuriating at others) story, but it has a happy ending. Unfortunately, so many stories like Lara’s don’t end well. This is one woman’s story, but more than that, it’s a look into our country’s criminal legal system and how horrifically broken it is—how we demonize people so easily, how we give up on people so easily, how easy we make it for people to lose hope. This memoir was candid, funny, and taught me a lot, things that all the best memoirs do.

I enjoyed this book more than expected since I had never heard of the author prior to this book.

I found it to be captivating and her recant of her time incarcerated was fascinating.

I did find the last quarter of the book to be very rushed while also many parts being unnecessary.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!

TW: heavy drug use, jail stories, attempt suicide

When I requested this book, I thought it was going to be more about her crimes ( white collar crimes are so fascinating to me). But I was surprised it was more about her time in jail.

Lara Love is an AMAZING author. I normally don’t like to read memoirs (especially about people I don’t know), because I prefer to listen to them. But this one was written so well. I think because Lara, herself, is an author… she did such a phenomenal job having you FEEL her pain. And hurt. And brokenness.

She 100% admits/ acknowledges every crime she’s committed - but you, as the reader, also acknowledge that she’s a hurting human, too. I wrestled with a lot of emotions during this book. And have come to my own conclusion that we need a little bit of reform when it comes to prison/ after prison. But that’s another story for another time ;)

I was so encouraged by Lara and how she rose from her deepest, darkest hour. How she beat the odds, even when she didn’t believe in herself.

This book does contain lots of drug use seriously LOTS, no description of sex but does talk about bunk mates having sex, and a description of Lara attempting suicide.

I can’t wait to pick up a few of her books she was a ghost writer for!

* I received a complementary copy in exchange for an honest review of this book.

In this memoir, Lara Love Hardin recounts the many iterations of the woman she has been: soccer mom, opioid addict, identity thief (to support said habit), convicted felon, but then eventually recovered addict and successful literary agent/ghostwriter. It's the kind of memoir that is so well written (no surprise, she's been a successful collaborator on others' memoirs for years!) and with such occasionally bonkers things happening that I couldn't put it down - think the narrative drive and eye-opening look at what's under the surface of some people's lives of memoirs like Maid or Educated (and of course there are parallels mentioned to Orange Is the New Black, but I haven't read that one to give a detailed comparison). My mom taught for some time in a life skills program for ladies in recovery and through those stories I learned first-hand how a "regular" person could end up down this road and struggle to ever get back on track with life. This book is an engaging and moving example of one woman's life with this - though a "swing up" story as already illustrated in the subtitle ("A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing"). I loved that her recovery story came along with a behind-the-scenes look at getting into a literary agent job, and of ghostwriting with authors like Archbishop Desmond Tutu (!) - and I'm looking forward to the interview scheduled for Sarah's Bookshelves Live (which is where I got the book recommendation) to hear more from Lara. The road to recovery for an addict is so fraught - especially when there are kids and child protective services involved - that I was biting my nails as I read, just hoping she wouldn't go back to her old ways so that she could get out of jail and get her kids back. And then when she really did get clean, I was still on the edge of my seat with the story, reading about how difficult it is to jump through all of the hoops with probation, family court, drug court to be able to get her kids back. She was working SO HARD to do all of the right things and the system made it almost impossible - mind boggling. So I maybe wished for a bit more extrapolation on what could be done to fix this clearly broken system, because it's so frustrating to read about how hard it is for someone to get back to life when they're trying so hard but have these knocks against them on their record - but that's not really the point of the book. You get an inside look at one aspect of the justice/incarceration system like with Just Mercy or A Knock at Midnight, but it's not necessarily meant to be a social justice book like those. It's more a story of one woman's experience with the system, partly to illustrate for readers how though we are quick to judge, there's no black & white here - so many gray areas on when kids should be removed from parents' care and returned, or what are the "kind" of people who end up in jail - and to explore the idea of when someone can be considered to have paid their restitution and be forgiven (literally in terms of the legal/restitution system and more generally have a metaphorical clean slate in people's minds, being allowed to move past the worst of their past actions)... and just as importantly, how someone can have self-forgiveness when they've felt so much shame and have such a self-perception as being a bad person.

This. Book!!!

Wow. I am impressed. I really didn’t know hardly anything about this one going into it, and my heart ached for Lara. For everything she went through. For her fear. Anxiety. Shame. Openness. Care. Dedication. This was an amazing memoir. I didn’t realize she co-authored The Sun Does Shine, which is one of my favorite memoirs ever.

Please give this memoir a chance. I promise you’ll learn something.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is quite a memoir. It is amazing that Hardin went from convicted felon to ghostwriting bestsellers and lunching with Oprah.

There comes an insightful experience in jail when she realizes she had quite writing as a means of making sense of her life. She had turned to drugs and that stopped her writing. Now, in jail and detoxed, she starts writing again. She writes short stories, essays, letters for others. She later finds that empathizing with her prison mates as a writing advocate was actually honing her skills for a later career as ghost writer.

Her experiences after jail were heart breaking. There is certainly a lack of a good way to help people get back into society in a productive way. Way too many end up back in jail. Hardin got a break when she was hired by man who did not ask about her past and had trust in her when it did come to light.

The is a well written memoir revealing the horrors of drug addiction and incarceration. It is also a story of survival, given the chance.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

The Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing and Healing is exactly what the title promises. Lara Love Hardin has lived many lives and I’m so grateful that she decided to share them with us - writing with so much vulnerability and honesty, even about the things that she did wrong.

I loved The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton and have often recommended it - but I had no idea about the life of his co-author. I would put both of these books on a Must Read List about our justice system - along with Just Mercy and A Knock at Midnight. Our justice system has a lot of really big issues and it’s important for us to learn and find ways to help make change - including how we vote.

While that all seems (and is) heavy - I also need to tell you how very readable this book was. It feels like Lara Love Hardin is sitting at a table with us over a cup of coffee and telling us about her life - from the lows of addiction and incarceration to the highs of lunch with Oprah. I highly recommend this book and am thankful to the publisher and Netgalley for the free ebook. I also recommend the audiobook read by the author - I think memoirs are almost always best when read by the author.

My thanks to Net Galley and Simon and Schuster for an advanced copy of this e-book. And many thanks to Simon and Schuster and Goodreads for a copy of the paperback arc of this wonderful book.

Lara Love Hardin tells her story from her days growing up and not having the parental guidance she needed yet still made it to college and grad school. Her first "addiction" was her books (and I can totally relate to this!). But her later addiction was much worse - heroin. This cost her money, time with her kids, her marriage, and finally her freedom.

It was when she was in jail that she was given the name Mama Love by her fellow inmates. First one helped her and as she grew stronger physically and was able to help her fellow inmates, they came to look up to her as a mentor.

Her story, like most addicts, has steps forward and backward. Drugs, especially heroin and meth, are hard demons to get rid of in your life. But her love for her children and her determination brought her back to her books and writing and got a job at a literary agency.

Her life story is compelling and inspiring and I recommend this book. The audio is narrated by Lara Love Hardin, and enhances the book to read while listening to the author.

Lara Love Hardin was an unlikely drug addict. A married suburban mother raising children in a blended family, she had a beautiful home and a business. But an addict she was. Nothing, not even the horror of losing her children, could stop her from chasing that next high. (“𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴. 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘴.”)⁣
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This book is a mesmerizing and unflinching look at the illness of drug addiction and how it permeates our society. I simply could not put this book down. My heart ached for Lara and her children as they entered the criminal court and family court system in our country, which is in need of serious reform. Even when Lara inevitably slid back into using again, I was oddly uplifted by her struggle and the dignity with which she carried herself. ⁣
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I don’t know how Lara survived jail but she did. (𝘑𝘢𝘪𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 1950𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘈 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘥. 𝘈 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥. 𝘈 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘫𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘨.”)⁣
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Told with darkly funny prose, you can’t help but be in awe of how she survived the nightmare of this season in her life.⁣
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And once she was finally released and put on probation, that became a whole other set of insurmountable challenges to face. Our probation system is basically set up for people to fail, and I was so relieved when Lara was finally able to get a job and be reunited with her children.⁣
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This book is a must-read for everyone to understand how woman are treated in our criminal justice system and to understand the true liberation of forgiveness. 5 stars!⁣
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(𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯.)

The Many Lives of Mama Love is a heartfelt memoir that will stay with you for a long time. Lara had it all, until she didn't. She had a life many only dream of, but somewhere along the line addiction grabbed ahold of her and held on tight until she lost everything including her youngest son, her home, and her freedom. She was charged with 32 felonies ranging from drugs to identity theft.

I won't pretend to understand addiction in any capacity, but I can tell you one thing... our justice system needs to do better. I realize that it's not the justice system that initially causes people to fall victim to addiction, but it certainly is the cause for repeated failures to get clean as she describes in detail what all she had to do to walk the straight and narrow to not end up back in jail as so many do. The system is set up to fail those that want to do better, turn their lives around, to the point that giving in to that "need" is the only choice they feel they have left. I've seen in it my own family over the last 10 months.

Lara doesn't give up, she bust her butt to do the right things, everything that is required of her, and still she lives in fear that one little thing can land her back in jail.

My heart goes out to Lara. I'm so dang proud of her for turning her life around, for not being another statistic. She proved them all wrong.

The fact that she co-wrote one of the best memoirs I've ever read (The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton) was just icing on the cake. That book left me gutted, much like her own memoir.

Labeled “The Neighbor From Hell” by the town newspaper, Lara Love Hardin tells the story of how she was able to change her life around from addict, thief, convicted felon to trusted mother, successful author and productive citizen. The transformation was a difficult road made all the harder by a broken justice and correctional system that had departments who simply failed to communicate with each other. This book was very well written and engaging. While it was not written with the express purpose of exposing cracks in the justice system, her experience highlights the shortcomings of our prison systems and procedures. It also highlighted the difference just one person can make to encourage and instill hope in someone who desperately needs it. Fortunately she had several individuals who were able to do that for her when she was at her lowest. I was especially touched reading the sections about her friendships that were developed with other women in jail Even if you don’t typically enjoy reading biographies I think you will be surprised by this one. #netgalley #TheManyLivesofMamaLove